I was approached recently to raise awareness on the topic of sepsis by a colleague whose cousin had survived, thanks to spotting it early and being provided with quick treatment.
I asked a few people about whether they knew what sepsis was, and it was surprising to note that six out of the ten whom I spoke with were unclear or unsure about what sepsis is and therefore would not be able to spot early signs of sepsis in their children. It is fundamental that you know what sepsis is and how to treat it quickly because it can become fatal very quickly. Sepsis can occur in adults too, but I will be focussing on spotting the signs of sepsis in children.
“25,000 children are affected by sepsis every year in the UK.” Sepistrust.org
So, what is sepsis?
When you have a viral/bacterial infection or injury, the immune system kicks into action and starts fighting back, by rustling up cells to fix the infected/damaged area. Generally, the symptoms are manageable, and your child’s immune system will help them recover fully within a few days.
Sometimes, for some unknown reason, the immune system can overreact, releasing chemicals into the bloodstream to fight the infection, but then also turning on its own organs and tissues. This overreaction by the immune system is called sepsis (or blood poisoning). Sepsis can cause inflammation, blood clots, low blood pressure, trouble breathing and organ failure. And, if not treated quickly enough, sepsis can be fatal and life-threatening. Otherwise, if spotted early, you can treat sepsis with antibiotics.
“Sepsis is the body’s overwhelming and potentially life-threatening response to an infection.” Sepsis.org
Who is at risk of developing sepsis?
Sepsis, although rare, can develop in both children and adults. It can be most common, however, in those with a weakened immune system and:
Newborns and infants under three months of age. Their immature immune systems cannot fight off large infections, and so sepsis can occur.
Children who are also not vaccinated for Streptococcus pneumonia (also known as pneumococcus) and Haemophilus influenzae.
Children with chronic medical conditions
Children with HIV, cancer or other conditions that weaken the immune system “Sepsis is the leading cause of death in children worldwide. 3 million children die every year.” sepsis.org
Newborns are affected by sepsis when bacteria enter the blood. Common culprits tend to be group B Strep, E. Coli, Listeria monocytogenes, Neisseria meningitis, Streptococcus pneumoniae, Hemophilus influenzae type B and salmonella.
Premature babies who have also spent time in the NICU, are also at most risk of sepsis because of their underdeveloped immune systems. They may be exposed to bacteria through long-term intravenous lines, catheters or tubes, and breathing tubes attached to a ventilator. If you feel that medical negligence has occurred, which has led to your child contracting sepsis, then you should contact a solicitor and ask for legal advice.
Infections can be passed down from mother to baby
Sometimes the risk of infection can occur during pregnancy, which can raise a newborn’s risk of infection, i.e when:
The pregnant mother has an infection/fever during labour
There is an infection of the uterus or placenta
The mother’s amniotic sac ruptures before 37 weeks
The mother’s amniotic sac ruptures 18+ hours before delivery
Up to 30% of pregnant women carry group B strep, which can be passed to baby during delivery. Ask your doctor to be tested for group B strep during pregnancy. It is a simple swab and if it is present, you will be treated with IV antibiotics during labour to prevent transmission.
How to spot for signs of sepsis in children
There isn’t a specific sign and some symptoms can present themselves in different ways. Sepsis can initially look like flu, a chest infection or gastroenteritis. So, if your child is unwell with either fever or a low temperature, then call 999 and ask whether it could be sepsis.
Here are some signs to look out for. She or he may:
Feel very lethargic or difficult to wake
Have a ‘fit’ or convulsion
Have a bulging soft spot
Be breathing abnormally fast
Pause for breath for more than 10 seconds (apnea)
Have a rash that does not fade when you press it
Feel unusually cold to touch
Be unable or unwilling to make eye contact
Be inconsolable or irritable
Look bluish or pale
Look jaundiced (yellowish skin and/or eyes)
Not be feeding
Look confused
Be repeatedly vomiting
Have not passed urine in the last 12 hours
Have an existing infection (like pneumonia) with symptoms getting worse.
If you notice any of these symptoms, call your child’s doctor IMMEDIATELY. They may require emergency medical attention.
What does septic shock look like?
Sepsis can become severe when at least one of the following symptoms occur, as this may indicate that your child’s organs are failing:
Abnormal heart beat
Change in mental status
Difficulty breathing
Abdominal pain
Not passing urine
Decreased platelets
Very low blood pressure that doesn’t respond to typical treatment
How is sepsis diagnosed in children?
If your child’s doctor suspects sepsis or wants to rule out severe infection, he or she may order the following for diagnosis:
Urine tests
Your child’s doctor can look for bacteria in the urine that could indicate sepsis
Blood tests
Your child’s doctor can look for infection, abnormal liver or kidney function and low oxygen levels, which may show sepsis has occurred
Lumbar puncture
Your child’s doctor may need to examine a sample of your child’s spinal fluid and check for infection (including meningitis)
X-rays
X-rays can show pneumonia and other conditions which indicate sepsis.
If your doctor suspects that sepsis has occurred, even before the results come back, s/he may start your child on a course of antibiotics straight away. If the results show that your child has sepsis, s/he will need to be treated in hospital with antibiotics and IV fluids, as well as be provided blood pressure medication and equipment to help them breath. It is vital that this treatment be given as early as possible to prevent any organ damage or disability.
Ways to prevent sepsis occurring in your child
You are not able to prevent all cases of sepsis, but you can protect your child from infections that may lead to sepsis, by:
Making sure that your child is fully vaccinated, especially for Streptococcus pneumoniae and Haemophilus influenzae
If you’re pregnant, make sure you are tested for Group B strep between Week 35 and 37 and follow up on the results to ensure if you need antibiotics during labour. If you experience premature labour, ensure you ask your doctor about receiving antibiotics. If you know that you are group B strep positive, then head straight to the hospital after labour symptoms start or your water breaks
Make sure you and your child wash hands frequently to help prevent infection. Don’t allow sick visitors near young babies and children
If your child needs medical devices like long-term IV lines and catheters, make sure you follow the doctor’s directions for cleaning and accessing the device
It is important to note that many children who do survive sepsis are left with life-changing effects, both mentally and physically. Some children are left with a change in their cognitive skills or they experience post traumatic stress. And, in some cases, treatment of sepsis can result in some organs not working correctly, and/or your child may have to have limbs amputated.
This is why it is vitally important that if you are concerned and you believe that your child is experiencing any of the symptoms above, that you call 999 immediately and say that you are concerned about sepsis. The earlier you act, the more chance you have of your child surviving sepsis without disability or death.
Keep pushing your doctor!
*Collaborative feature post*
Preparing for Emergencies with Kids
As much as we try our best to ensure that everything runs smoothly, there’s always the potential for an emergency to occur. When kids are involved, the stakes can feel even higher so it’s best to be prepared. Here are some ways that you can ensure you’re ready for just about anything.
Practice First Aid
Paediatric first aid courses are always popular with new parents and you can learn how to deal with a lot of issues on these courses. It’s a good idea to have grounding in basic first aid, as well as paediatric specific courses too. These classes don’t take too long and can be completed at your leisure.
As well as dealing with treatment, many of these courses teach you how to react in an emergency. Keeping your cool is essential to providing the best treatment, so feeling like you know what to do can make a huge difference to your demeanour.
You want to make sure that you have the right tools to hand to deal with this too. You can look online for first aid kits for sale and ensure that they are kept stocked up. Having this to hand in an emergency can really come in handy.
Have a Plan
The best way to get ready for an emergency is to have a plan. If each person in the family is aware of and follows the plan, then you can work together. Working with other adults in the house, you can delegate tasks and create an escape plan to be used for a fire or other disaster. If you have multiple children in the home, then this is key to know that each has a designated adult that will help them in an emergency.
This is a good way to teach the kids about safety too. You can teach them about the best ways to leave the home in an emergency and the dangers of this kind of evacuation. You never know when this kind of information might just save their life.
Stock Up
In an emergency in which you can’t get access to supplies, you’ll be glad to have some in your own home. Canned food and fresh water can be stored in the basement of the home for such an emergency. You can also add to this with blankets, batteries, candles and other essential items. These can make all the difference to your family should the home be hit by a natural disaster.
While you may not think that this is a big concern for your family, this is a small thing that you can do to make them safer. Should you be snowed in at home or can’t travel, this bank of supplies can increase your chances of surviving long term.
Being prepared is half the battle when it comes to these kinds of emergencies. If you’re able to take these small steps then you’ll find that you’re much more confident should an emergency happen to strike while you’re with your kids.
*Collaborative feature post*
How the weather can affect your mood
According to research, various weather patterns can affect our moods and emotions. For several years, people have been diagnosed with suffering from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Experts also believe that the resulting hot and cold temperatures can drain our energy and tamper with our sleeping patterns.
So, what’s the truth? Here, we’ll look at how different weather patterns can affect how we feel — and whether there’s any proof to back up the claims that climates can alter our moods and behaviour…
Rain
Looking outside and seeing rain lashing against the window rarely puts people in a good mood. But is there more to it? Some experts believe that rain could actually negatively affect our social lives, leading us to feel isolated, frustrated and downbeat.
A study of more than 11,000 adults, led by Dr Alan Teo, found that digital communication (e.g. emails and phone calls) offered little protection against participants developing depression over a two-year period — unlike face-to-face contact. The people who met up with friends and family members three times a week showed the lowest rate of depression after two years — only 6.5% developed the condition compared to those who met up one a month (11.5% development rate). If it’s raining heavily and consistently, we may be more inclined to cancel plans to physically meet our friends and family, or have them cancel on us, which could leave us to a less fulfilled social life.
Also, getting drenched in a downpour could lead to us feeling unwell, which may also cause our moods to dip even lower. An experiment, carried out by researchers at the University of Freiburg, found that mice injected with a virus similar to human flu showed signs of despair, lethargy and sadness when battling the infection. According to the researchers, this is because our bodies react to an infection by releasing a protein that doesn’t respond well with our hippocampus — a region of our brains that controls mood.
Rainy mornings can also lead to bad traffic conditions and a tougher commute. So, to avoid letting the rain dampen your spirits, make sure you stay as dry as possible and set off for work earlier to avoid delays that cause anger and frustration.
Sunshine
A lowering of moods during winter has apparently been recorded as far back as 1845. Now named seasonal affective disorder (SAD), the condition is a type of depression that happens to sufferers at certain times of the year — most notably autumn and winter. According to research, 6% of UK adults have the disorder, and it can even affect children — although, the average age of SAD sufferers is 27 years.
So, does sunshine equal happiness? It may well be the case. Those studying SAD have found that the rate of vulnerability rises the further from the equator you live. Reports also show that sunshine boosts our moods by raising the level of a certain brain chemical called serotonin, which is believed to regulate our mood, anxiety and social functioning. Serotonin can also be found in many antidepressants. So, less sunshine means a weaker production of serotonin.
Similarly, it seems that sunny weather makes us get a better night’s sleep — and we all know how great an effect that can have on our moods the following day. Research carried out at the University of Rochester Sleep Laboratory in New York discovered that good weather caused participants of the study to sleep more soundly. This could have something to do with the fact that being exposed to bright light during the day encourages our bodies to produce more melatonin — a hormone that acts as a detoxifier, rejuvenator and sleeping agent —when the sun sets. In fact, a Finnish study discovered that rodents that were given daily sun exposure produced a great deal more melatonin at night than those that received only artificial light. Evidently, natural sunlight and a good night’s sleep seem to go hand in hand.
With the fact that less sunlight means your body generates lower levels of vitamin D — essential to good health and a subsequent happy mindset— it’s important to look for ways you can increase your exposure to sunshine. To help your body get plenty of sunlight, save up for a winter-sun holiday and spend as much time as you can outdoors when the weather is good.
Temperature
How hot or cold the day is can also impact our feelings of happiness or sadness. During colder months, our bodies are forced to work harder to keep us warm, which includes raising our heart rates. This means that more energy is diverted to achieve this aim, causing us to potentially feel lethargic and less willing to participate in social activities when the temperature drops. But why is this important? Mental health organisation, Mind, states that getting exercise is a contributor to sound mental health, while another scientific study found that getting active holds ‘the promise of better mental health outcomes’.
Typically, our immune systems are under more pressure during the cold season, and so we are less capable of fending off illnesses — which we have already discussed can contribute to low moods. On top of this, chronic conditions such as back pain are more likely to flare up due to winter weather, which may make you feel frustrated. But what about hot weather? Apparently, one UK study predicted that higher temperatures due to climate change will cause 9,000 fewer deaths in winter by 2050, while other US studies have shown that there may be a link between crime and rising heat levels!
It seems that hot and cold weather also have an impact on how we feel and our behaviour, so learning about how the weather climate works may prepare you for the unpredictable weather changes. Schools in the US are now benefitting from integrating a weather curriculum which helps children collect and analyse weather data, so they can understand what the weather changes mean.
With experts using technological advances to predict further changes in weather patterns as climate change progresses, what can we expect from how the weather will affect our psychology in the future?
This article was written in collaboration with by Fulton Umbrellas — an industry leader and premium supplier of clear umbrellas.
Is using a domestic cleaning service worth the money?
When was the last time your oven was cleaned out completely? Do you bleach your bathroom(s) every week? When did you last take everything out of the cupboards and give the shelves a good wash? Have you ever spring cleaned your garden furniture? It is difficult when you barely have enough time to cover all the basic household chores, let alone the jobs that require a deeper clean. So, do you sacrifice more time in the day to ensure that these cleaning jobs get done or do you hire a domestic cleaning service to help?
My first cleaning experience
I work from home when the kids are at school. That means I have about six hours in the day to work. About two of those hours are spent on household chores, i.e. loading the dishwasher and washing machine, hoovering the floors, changing the bedding, and wiping down the counters and the bathrooms etc. I am then left with about four hours to work.
When the kids come home from school, I am back in the kitchen, cleaning and preparing their snacks and then, subsequently, their dinner, which then leads to more cleaning. By then, I have run out of time to clean out the fridge and give the skirting boards a good go over, and I have forgotten all about the windows.
By 5pm/5.30pm, I have worked at a lightning pace to ensure dinner is on the table and during that time, the kids have taken out all their toys and scrambled up the neatly folded clothes in their cupboards, so they could change out of their school clothes. Food is all over the kitchen table and chairs, which brings on more cleaning… I manage to grab about five to ten minutes to sit and talk with the boys during dinner before I take another load out of the washing, empty and reload the dishwasher, and then hoover/mop up the floor, which is now covered with food.
The kids head off for their bath before their bedtime routine starts, which means water/soap is now smeared all over the bathroom walls and floor. However, I don’t have time to get out the bleach and scrub all the residue off, so I end up just giving it a spray. By the time it is 8.30pm, the kids are fast asleep, the school clothes (and daddy’s work clothes) are washed and drying on the clothes rack and I have only managed a wipe down of the kitchen floor before I crawl up the stairs to try and work a little bit until 10.30/11pm (sometimes 12/1am).
I’ve bundled the unfolded clothes into a nearby basket, with the promise to myself that I will fold them and put them away in the morning. I am exhausted and I haven’t even dusted the house. I have spent minutes with the kids when they came home and rushed them through their homework and ‘golden time’ due to spending most of my time cleaning.
What’s more, we entertained visitors, who stayed at ours from mid-December right up until the first weekend in January. So, no deep cleaning had been done at all during this time. One evening, I collapsed in front of my husband and sobbed that I couldn’t handle my dual full-time/work-at-home mum role. And, it was then I had given up the façade that I was any good at staying on top of the cleaning. The truth is, I am truly rubbish at cleaning – and I hate it.
I am not one of those people who gets a thrill out of scrubbing counters and achieving that reflective gleam. I am also not one of those who gets excited when I pick up a hoover. I am the total opposite. I love a clean and tidy house – in fact, I am instantly stressed as soon as I step into mess, dirt and grime – but I do not love cleaning any of it up.
I feel like the hours spent in the day cleaning the constant mess is a huge waste of my time, which has been taken away from my kids, my husband and my work. It was when I had a mini breakdown that I decided I needed to outsource my cleaning duties to domestic cleaning services to help me gain back those precious hours lost. But, was it worth the money?
During that week, my friend had just started a domestic cleaning services company and I jumped at the chance to be her first customer. I needed someone to help me with the deep clean, so I could just maintain the clothes, the washing, the dishes, and anything that takes minutes to do.
What I couldn’t keep up with was the frequent bathroom and fridge deep cleans, as well as hoovering and mopping all the floors properly and dusting the shelves. The first time my friend came over with her cleaning colleague, my little one had suffered a double ear infection, so the house was in a real state, due to not sleeping the previous two nights. I completely lost my mojo to clean or even work. So, my friend sent me to the doctor with my second and assured me they would do their best to clean the house in the two hours I was away.
When I came back, my house was clean. Not just clean, professionally clean.
I tell you what I felt when I stepped foot into a professionally cleaned house. I felt relief. I felt pure overwhelming and euphoric relief. The kitchen was spotless, the floors were gleaming, the rooms were tidy and the house smelled fresh. The second wave of emotion hit me like a hammer. I felt proud that my house could look so beautiful when it was professionally cleaned. So proud that I wanted to re-organise playdates and invite my friends over, instead of coming up with some lame excuse because I was so ashamed of how my house looked.
The last emotion I felt put a huge smile on my face. I felt inspired. Inspired to summon up that last bit of energy and pull through after endless nights of no sleep. I felt inspired to maintain the house at this professional level and encourage my boys to keep their rooms tidier too. I had got my mojo back.
So, is using a domestic cleaning service worth the money? It certainly is to me! But, before you decide to take the plunge, there are certain factors that you may want to consider before you hire some cleaning help yourself:
Work out the cost
House cleaners are generally worth anywhere between £11 per hour to £15 per hour. You may need to book around three hours at a time, depending on the size of your house, to ensure you get a good clean for your money. That will cost you between £21 and £45 in total.
Also, you should take into account that you would probably need to provide your own cleaning equipment, especially when using private cleaners. Professional cleaning agencies tend to bring their own, but you may need to pay a booking fee in return. Some professional agencies like anyclean.co.uk don’t require a booking fee, but they would ask you to sign a contract, which you would need to return before they can commence their cleaning services. Also if you prefer to use eco-cleaning products, some cleaners may ask for extra per hour to bring to each clean, if you don’t provide them at home.
Calculate how much your time is worth and then track the time you spend cleaning for one week. Work out the amount you would pay yourself if you were a cleaner. If a cleaner would cost significantly less and do a better job than you, then it’s definitely worth hiring the cleaner.
Get some recommendations
I’m sure we have all wasted money on sub-par services at one point, which is why getting recommendations from your friends and family are crucial, especially when it comes to hiring services who should be helping you with your daily grind, not hindering you. If you ask around, you are more likely to find a trusted cleaner that can get the job done quickly and efficiently.
If you hire professional cleaning services, you’re also protected from any unforeseen incidents that may occur while the cleaner is in your house. Professional agencies like anyclean.co.uk take the work out of finding a trusted and vetted cleaner for you and their prices start at £13/hour. To check whether Anyclean offers a cleaning service in your area, simply head over to their website and get a free quote. Another professional agency, Helpling.com, have a great Spring Cleaning guide, which has some brilliant hacking tips on keeping on top of your spring cleaning – it’s definitely worth a read!
Work out what you need cleaning
For me, it’s very simple, I don’t have time to deep clean, so I need extra help with cleaning out the fridge, thoroughly cleaning the kitchen, and bleaching the bathrooms etc. But, if you have a much longer to-do list, it is worth writing it all down, from top priority to low priority, and ask the cleaner to work through that list. Whatever they don’t get done in their slotted time, they will complete in the next session.
Reasons why you should get a cleaner
A cleaner can be more efficient at cleaning and get the work done in half the time, whereas, if you’re anything like me, you will probably dilly-dally about and half-heartedly clean up the mess, which would then lead you back to square one.
You get your time back, whether that is spending time with the kids or using the extra hours to work. For me, I have gained quality time to sit down with my kids now and I don’t have to worry about deep cleaning the fridge (which I sometimes have nightmares about!) I also get to work those extra few hours during the day and make the money back – plus more!
A new professionally cleaned house will make you feel amazing. The relief and inspiration I get from working while my house is being cleaned is something I cannot even describe in words. I just feel enormous relief.
Getting a cleaner is not for everyone, some parents are super-efficient and can get everything done in fifteen minutes. But, if you’re like me and cleaning is a significant source of stress in your life, then I think it’s definitely worth spending that extra bit of money to outsource and gain back your time with your children – and to do something more worth your time!
Have you ever used a cleaning service? What are your thoughts on outsourcing your daily clean? Please share with us in the comments below!
Staying Connected with my Baby after Returning to Work
I loved being a full-time Mom, but I knew that it could not last forever. Not only would I go insane spending my days with a baby and the occasional playgroup, but the bank balance was also going to need replenishing.
Being able to spend the time at home with my son at that stage of his life was special and our bond is the strongest that it could be as a result. The biggest challenge in returning to work is how I can nurture that bond, so it continues to grow after we are separated for that work time.
This was a source of constant worry for me. I had no idea how he would cope. How would I cope? Putting on a brave face for him might wear me down over time.
Now that some time has passed there is definitely some light at the end of the tunnel. It was not always easy, and I still miss him like crazy every day! But it was the best thing for him and I hope my experience can also help others who may be in that darker place I was not too long ago.
The Impact of Day Care
The hardest part of this process was finding a place at daycare for him, and then managing that transition. We were able to start him off on two days a week before I did finally return to work. These were tough days.
The look on his face when he realised that I was leaving him there, and the cries of desperation to get to me. It was one of the most heart-breaking things that I have ever had to go through.
On top of this, he started getting very sick. I panicked about this early on but have since been told by almost everyone that this is normal and will probably continue for another 12 months…. Great! No sleep for Mommy.
It was difficult not to question whether I was doing the right thing or not. Perhaps this was a bad idea and I should just leave things as they were? Was it really worth the stress, pain, and lost sleep? He can’t be a baby forever, and I have to work to make a living. So really, I had no choice but to power on.
Thankfully things did start to turn around. In hindsight, it has been one of the best things for him and the growth in his confidence has been amazing. He also tries to talk nonstop now, and we often spend our walk home talking about the day just gone – well he tries to anyway.
Now I am faced with a different sight in the morning. He now runs in the door to see his friends and grab his favourite toy. Some days he doesn’t even look back. Now my worry has turned from him feeling a sense of abandonment, to being reminded that he will need me less and less as he gets older. I guess there is always something to worry about as a Mom.
Another side of this is that he also seems happier at home now. Like he is trying to make the most of the time we spend together because he knows that it is not every day now. He has a new kind of glow and playfulness… and he definitely knows when it is the weekend and we can sleep longer and have a day out. But more on this in a moment.
Breastfeeding
My Son recently turned two years old and I still feed him. Where I live, this is certainly not the norm and I do get some very surprised reactions when it comes up in conversations. But the fact is that it is still good for him, and he loves it.
He also eats like crazy! So, it is not necessary for his nutrition, but it remains a comfort for him. After being separated all day our routine is the same every day. We get home, collapse on the couch and he feeds for 15-30 minutes. Sometimes he will fall asleep and I can get on with the evening chores, other days he recharges and its off again.
This is one of my favourite times of the day. Taking this period of quiet time to reconnect and bond, while he gets a rest and top up of energy. If we didn’t do this I am not sure what we would do in its place. But I guess I will have to figure that part out soon enough when I do start to wean him off.
For now, I just enjoy the moments we have… Even though he does come home a bit smelly and I just want to get him in the bath!
He does have trouble sleeping at day care sometimes because he often just dozes off while breastfeeding in the evenings. So I also have to pump occasionally so that I can send him with a small bottle of milk just in case. If he doesn’t sleep he comes home exhausted and will sleep straight away and all the way through to the next morning.
Weekend Magic
My Son just knows when it is not a work day. He bounces out of bed and has an extra sparkle in his eye. Now that we have limited time I am determined to make sure the time we do have is quality time.
This requires some discipline during the week so I can stay on top of all the smaller daily chores, so I can keep the weekends as wide open as possible. It would be easy let the laundry and dishes pile up after a long work day. But if I did, half my Saturday would be gone taking care of this, and my energy with it.
Making the most of this time is the key to ensuring our bond flourishes. We can choose our own path and go exploring. There are so many places in my city that I have not been to since I myself was a child and it is a lot of fun getting reacquainted with these places and letting my Son wander and learn about his surroundings.
Some days we will head to the beach for a swim, others we go the other direction up into the mountains for a hike. Some days we will just go to a new park and he will chase the birds and feed the ducks.
For me, this is where the magic happens in parenting. The look on your child’s face when they see anything for the first time is a mixture of cute, funny, curiosity and shock. There are a lot of firsts for them, but they will run out. So, I want to be there for as many of them as possible.
During the week our relationship is on maintenance mode. Yes, we have our moments, but we spend most of our time apart. So, budgeting your time and aligning your activities with when your child is at their best will ensure that you both grow closer together.
Achieving Balance
At first, I was working five days a week and the strain was just too much. My new employer has been kind enough to let me reduce this to four days, with one of those days working from home.
I feel so lucky to have found this as an option and I now feel that we are in a routine that is sustainable, and a happy balance for both my Son and me. We would have adjusted to the five days, but it was just beyond that point where I could say that was in his best interest.
I don’t want to say that it is not, because there are a lot of people out there where five days in day care is necessary. My hat goes off to you because it is a hard slog and I know you do it for your family.
But if you can, the extra time with your child can raise your level of happiness across all areas of your life. At the end of the day, my Son’s happiness is what matters most and I feel that I have found the right balance to give him the happiest child hood I can.
Guest post contributed by Giselle May – the Chief Editor at katherinerosman.com
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Women have an equal role in gender selection before conception
Conception is that moment when the final standing male sperm beats the vying sperm in the race to fertilise the female egg (ova) and kickstart pregnancy. If the winning sperm contains a ‘Y’ chromosome, that baby will become a boy. Alternatively, if the sperm contains ‘X’ chromosomes, the baby will become a girl.
Many sources claim that you can maximise your chances of conceiving either a boy or a girl through fad diets and certain fancy positions and that getting the baby boy or girl you want is, ultimately, down to pure luck. Plus, if you wanted to find out whether these diets and conceivable positions worked, you would typically have to wait until the 20-week ultrasound scan to catch a glimpse of your baby’s parts – and, even then, it’s not 100% accurate.
But, what if a company from America has come forward and not only claims that they can, with over 90% accuracy, offer gender determination of baby from the date of conception but also claim that women have an equal role in gender selection of their baby before conception has even begun?
Get an insight into your fertility with an accurate at-home test and check your female hormone levels from the privacy of your own home. Code below!
Urobiologics’ hypothesis – women’s hormonal environments can determine gender
A company called Urobiologics extensively researched 100% natural, non-invasive methods of gender selection and post-conception gender determination, and they have finally proven that there is a way. The answer lies within the woman’s hormonal cycle.
Dr Kuldeep Verma, Chief Scientist of Urobiologics, believes that women play an equal role in gender selection. Just like there are two different types of sperm, ‘X’ and ‘Y’, there are two different types of hormonal environments which alternate in every menstrual cycle. Urobiologics advise couples that if they want to have a boy, they conceive in the ‘boy cycle’, and if they want to have a girl, they conceive in the ‘girl cycle’. And these tests are believed to be over 90% accurate. But, how do they work?
The PreGender Preconception Test Service (for Gender Planning Before Pregnancy)
Dr Kuldeep Verma is vehement that couples do not need to play a game of chance and end up with multiple babies of the same gender. There are no pH hoaxes, no acidic or alkaline douching, no gender dieting, charts, calendars or moon theories to follow. Using the PreGender Preconception Test, couples are only required to submit mid-cycle urine samples, which can be mailed from most countries without the need for travel. Urobiologics then identifies the alternating uterine hormonal environments by testing the urine samples (you cannot identify the cycle by testing the blood or saliva.) And, Dr Verma is so confident of the test’s success that Urobiologics will refund couples double if they do not get their planned boy or girl using his program. The woman’s hormones will do everything that is needed to determine the gender of the baby.
“I completed my family through preconception advice from Urobiologics. I got my son last week. It is amazing that simply by conceiving in the cycles recommended by them one can get the baby they wanted. As I didn’t go for any other test, scepticism kept me occupied all the time during pregnancy; now I am a stronger believer in this technology”
Gloria Hu, Netherlands, 11.02.2012
Get a comprehensive picture of your hormonal health without the need for clinics or appointments. Easy testing, free shipping, and fast results.
The science behind the PreGender Preconception Test
Ovulation creates two types of hormonal environments in the uterus. These environments alternate in consecutive menstrual cycles. The sperm then ‘determines’ the gender, yet the hormonal environment of the uterus in that cycle appears to ‘influence’ the expression of the baby’s sex characteristics. So, if there is a ratio of more testosterone to oestrogen in one cycle, the environment will favour the conception of a boy. If there is a ratio of more oestrogen to testosterone in the alternate cycle, the environment will favour the conception of a girl (and select the ‘X’ chromosome bearing sperm). Urobiologics will then guide the couple via a conception plan on when and how they should conceive. The process of conception then ‘locks’ the environment and that the environment would stay the same until the baby is born or miscarried.
Urobiologics believe they can prove that the above steps work and that the result will allow for gender-specific conception to be possible naturally if one conceives in the appropriate menstrual cycle.
The above diagram shows the alternating ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ cycles after testing two urine samples. If conception occurs in ‘Cycle 3’, the boy phase is locked for nine months. Some pregnancy test kits can detect pregnancy six days before the expected period date. However, Urobiologics’ second test, The FirstGender Test, can detect the gender of the baby from the date of conception and there is a 90% chance that it would be a boy because conception occurred in a boy phase.
The below diagram shows some examples of the process the PreGender Test uses to conceive the gender of choice:
The FirstGender Test Service (for Gender Detection after Pregnancy)
Dr Kuldeep Verma’s company uses unique technology to evaluate the gender of the baby by testing a mid-stream sample of the expecting mother’s urine (for two resting periods pooled into one bottle). The test can be administered from as early as five weeks up to the twentieth week of pregnancy, and with an expected accuracy of 95%. More information on the process used can be found on Urobiologics’ website.
What is the scientific basis of the early FirstGender Test?
If the mother is carrying a boy, her urine will contain more testosterone than of a mother’s urine who is carrying a girl. Through several developed procedures, Urobiologics compares the sample with that of a mixed sample from several women who have delivered girls or confirmed they are carrying girls through amniocentesis or CVS test. If the sample matches, then Urobiologics are reasonably confident that the baby is a girl
“You ensure conception, we ensure gender”
Dr Kuldeep Verma, Urobiologics
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Urobiologics claim they are the first ever company to determine gender by testing urine and have put in thirty years of extensive work on developing unique technology for gender selection and determination.
Urobiologics believe they can detect gender as soon as the woman has confirmed a positive pregnancy test.
No procedure can ever be 100% accurate. Urobiologics believe their test results are 95% accurate as long as directions are followed for sample collection and storage carefully.
Urobiologics have currently filed two patent applications worldwide.
If you have any more questions on the FirstGender test, please visit Urobiologics’ website for Frequently Asked Questions.
Isn’t Urobiologic’s PreGender Test just a natural way of creating Designer Babies?
No, because you are not genetically modifying the baby through invasive methods; you are simply selecting the cycle in which to conceive and then letting nature take its course. This process may work well for couples who already have multiples babies of the same gender.
How do I order a test?
The PreGender Test can be ordered over the phone or through the website.
Urobiologics will mail the urine sample materials along with a prepaid ship-ready UPS or FedEx envelope so that you can mail the samples back to them.
You collect two urine samples separately for two cycles near ovulation and ship both samples together.
A full plan is then discussed as to which cycle you are advised to conceive, as well as how to conceive.
No additional testing is required for six months.However, Urobiologics do recommend to take two tests any time after six months to reposition the family planning effort. This is because undetected conception may temporarily lock the hormonal environment and disturb the sequence.
If conception is a problem, Urobiologics recommend customers to go for Intra-uterine Insemination (IUI) but in an appropriate cycle. IUI is a more natural alternative to IVF, as IVF involves a lot of hormonal injections and may cause an imbalance to the natural hormone set up in a particular cycle, ultimately causing low success rates.
Customers are offered a 10% discount (on the combined price) when buying both the PreGender and FirstGender test (please refer to the fee table below). Customers are also offered a double refund warranty and entry into the ‘Live Chart’. More information on these benefits can be found on Urobiologics’ website.
Customers can contact Urobiologics by calling toll free at 1-877-HE-OR-SHE (1-877-436-7743) or direct at 313-574-7500 in the USA or through email: drverma@urobiologics.com
“Not only has Urobiologics got extremely high success rates but Dr Verma is so helpful and supportive. I found out yesterday that the pre and post-gender test had worked for me when other techniques failed. Dr Verma guided me in which cycles to conceive to get me a girl. Interestingly, I conceived in the desired cycle, and the post-con sample test also confirmed a girl. Finally, after two correct boy reports by Urobiologics, my ultrasound was very clearly a girl. If you are reading this, I know how desperate you are to have a baby girl/boy. Please try it; you can only imagine how happy I am, I want you to experience it too.”
Emma Hine, UK, 19.05.2011
Whether you are planning for your first baby or you have boys, and you would like a daughter (or vice versa), Urobiologics offers a PreGender Test so you can successfully conceive a baby of your desired gender. However, a caveat must be inserted here that the sex of the baby should not matter more than his/her health and well-being, and that all babies are miracles regardless of whether they end up as boys or girls!
If you are planning a family would you want to know the gender of your baby before conceiving? Share with us in the comments below!
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Returning to work after maternity leave
Returning to work after maternity leave can be difficult, especially in today’s job climate. Whether you have been on maternity, adoption or paternity leave, the prospect of heading back to normality and into the workplace can be daunting. From worries about being ‘out of touch’ with your job to leaving your children under the care of someone other than yourself; there is a lot to digest, and it is perfectly normal to feel apprehensive.
Going back to work full-time or even part-time doesn’t have to be scary. With careful planning and preparation before going back to work from maternity leave, you can get in touch with work early and have a good idea of what you have waiting for you when you return. In this article, you will find tips for how to return to work after maternity leave, as well as other important things to consider during this important milestone.
Why is it so hard to return from maternity leave?
Returning to work from maternity leave can be bittersweet if you’re not ready to transition. If you took compulsory or ordinary maternity leave, maybe the period was too short and you wanted to spend more time with your baby. Perhaps you can’t afford to take more leave, or you’re considering going back to work early after maternity leave, but you fear being out of touch with your colleagues.
Planning and preparation can help you power through the unknown and take the plunge into the next chapter in your life. So let’s look at ways we can make this transition easier for you.
Before you go back to work after mat leave
As mentioned above, planning and preparation are key to the transition as smooth as possible. Below are some tips on what to do before your maternity leave is over.
Plan and stay local with childcare
What will you do with your baby when you go back to work? Have you considered childcare, either via friends and family, or a childcare provider?
Where possible, try to find suitable childcare close to your home or work, as this will save you a lot of time with drop-offs and pickups.
Seek referrals from friends, or even your new employer, and do a thorough search on Google. Should you need financial help via the Child Care Subsidy, you can click here for more details.
It is only human to feel anxious about placing your child into the care of someone else, especially if it is your first child. It is worth settling your child into their full childcare routine before you return to work, to allow yourself and your child to become familiarised with the new schedule. By the time you start back at work, you will know what works and what doesn’t.
Legal considerations when choosing your childcare provider
Karen Holden from A City Law Firm advises parents to look at the legal issues concerning traditional childcare providers, namely nannies, childminders, and nurseries. We will look at these in more detail below.
Nannies
A nanny is your employee and in law, an employer-employee relationship exists between you1. All the paperwork must be in order, including a comprehensive employment contract and a detailed disciplinary procedure.
Once you have located a suitable nanny, you can interview them (or conduct a series of interviews). You should be mindful that all potential nannies have the right not to be discriminated against during the recruitment process due to age, gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation.
As an employer, you account for your nanny’s income tax and National Insurance contributions. In addition, you ensure that the amount you pay your nanny meets the National Minimum Wage (certain exceptions apply to live-in nannies). You must provide your nanny with financial documents such as payslips and a P60.
Your nanny is entitled to certain benefits because of the employment relationship, for example, holiday leave, maternity arrangements, provisions about sick leave and redundancy. Importantly, a nanny has rights under employment law; therefore, pay close attention to disciplinary procedures and dismissal. When you need to end the employment of your nanny, legal advice should be taken from a specialist employment law solicitor.
Nannies do not have to be registered or regulated and therefore you should take special care when drafting a contract between yourself and your nanny. It is important to detail the duties you expect of your nanny and the standard of conduct you require.
Key points to consider regarding nannies
You should:
Recruit fairly and do not discriminate
Prepare a comprehensive written contract
Make National Insurance and Income Tax contributions
Seek legal advice concerning disciplinary action or dismissal of your nanny
Childminders
Childminders who look after children under 8 years old for over two hours a day for money must register with Ofsted2 and are regularly inspected and regulated by them. Therefore childminders must comply with the requirements set out by them3. Should a childminder not meet the standard required, then they will not be initially licensed or maybe later disqualified.
You should check the childminder’s’ certificate of registration, which should be visible, and whether they have been suspended from the register. It is important to enquire as to the level of insurance cover that your childminder has obtained. Registered childminders are required to have insurance to cover death, injury, public liability, damage, and other loss.
It is likely that you will have to sign a written contract with your childminder; however, in the absence of a written contract, a verbal contract can still be enforced. Ofsted obliges childminders to make alternative provisions for children should they not be able to provide childcare.
Childminders must not discriminate against providing childcare based on factors such as race, religion, home language, family background, gender, disability, or learning disabilities.
Childminders must have a written statement of procedures and a written complaint procedure available to you, which you should ask to view. In addition, childminders must provide information on the activities that your child will undertake whilst in their care, often shown as activity day books and reports.
Should you need to make a complaint against your childminder, do this in writing or by email directly to your childminder. Your complaint must be fully investigated, and a written response, or by email if requested, provided to you within 28 days of your complaint. Complaints for breaches of the Ofsted standards can be made to Ofsted.
Key points to consider regarding childminders
Childminders:
Regulated by Ofsted
Must display a certification of registration
Must have a written statement of procedure
Must have written information concerning activities
Must have a current first aid certificate
Must have training from an approved training course
Must have a written complaint procedure
Nurseries
Nurseries must be registered with Ofsted and are also regulated and inspected by them. Complaints, however, concerning your child’s welfare can be made to Ofsted, but should initially be made internally through the nursery’s complaint procedure.
Since September 2012, nurseries have had to comply with the Early Years Foundation Stage. This essentially puts the focus of early year care on developing the child and puts the parents and family at the heart of the system. One objective of the new framework is to ensure that those within the industry offer a quality service.
The relationship between yourself and the nursery will be a contractual one. It is important that you carefully read the contract and terms and conditions supplied to you by the nursery before signing them.
Careful attention should be paid to the terms and conditions in relation to the nurseries policy concerning bank holiday’s, notice periods, payment dates and collection of interest, cancellation fees, liability for payment because of closure (e.g. adverse weather), fees for late collection and what happens if your child is unwell.
Should an issue arise in relation to the contract, contact a solicitor who specialises in contractual dispute.
Keep in touch with colleagues
Keeping in touch with colleagues is a great opportunity to keep your relationships with your work friends and bosses. Visit your old place to familiarise yourself and keep up to date with what is going on, to remind you of the key skills you have learnt and keep you in touch with the routine you had. Use your ‘Keeping in Touch’ days, which are paid by your employer, so speak to them about organising these days before your return.
Upskill
Don’t be afraid of upskilling to keep on top of current processes, policies, and practices before you head back to the workplace. It is worth spending some of your free time sharpening up on some key skills or learning something new to put you in good stead when returning to work. Employers like to see that you have spent your own time to advance your skills and keep up with the ever-changing trends, as it shows you are eager to learn and work hard.
There are hundreds of courses available, depending on your industry, from IT to business management, to programming courses. Project Management is a popular choice as it is a widely respected and accredited course, offered by world leading Prince2 training providers. These courses can be completed when it suits you, with both Prince2 training online and weekend courses available, to avoid childcare issues. You could also hire a tutor from websites like Tutor Hunt to help enhance your skill-set.
Get organised
Organisation is key–it is important to plan your time effectively, to avoid rushing around when running to a tight schedule. For example, it is wise to plan your child’s outfit/uniform the night before and pack their bag – and do the same for yourself as well. This can help save you valuable time, as there’s nothing worse than trying to find items of clothing and your trusty notepad five minutes before you have to leave the house.
Organise your work before you can start your working period more efficiently
Make a plan about what you’re going to do in the first week you go back. One of these should include sectioning off about 15 minutes during your work period to go through the ‘unsubscribe’ process for every waste email. That way, you’ll be able to fire off responses to the more important emails coming through and become more efficient at reading and responding to emails.
Plan your meals
It is easy to overlook meal times and make something on the fly or order a takeaway when you get back from work. But do you really want to spend time cooking and washing up after a hard day in the office?
With a little forward planning, you won’t have to, and it could save you a lot of stress.
Try to plan your meals from Monday to Thursday in advance, and where possible, even pre-cook them the weekend before. This is an especially worthwhile thing to do in the first few weeks of starting a new job, when you are trying to get to grips with the new routine.
Cooking up a bolognese, curry, chilli con carne or stew in advance – which you can then freeze and reheat on any day – will save you a lot of time during the week, while still ensuring you eat well.
Not getting your stuff ready the night before is a trap many people fall into. This often results in rushing around like a headless chicken in the morning, and even being late to the office.
Again, forward planning is the key here. For instance, organise what you might wear to work for the week, and have it all ironed and ready to go. That way, you can just pick it out of your wardrobe when you are ready to wear it, and simply put it on. You can do the same for the kids too.
Likewise, be sure that you and the kids have all the things you need for work and childcare, packed and ready to go the night before. This will enable you to leave with minimal stress.
Make lunches the night before too
Making lunches for you and the kids is another thing you can do the night before. You might not put them in your bags overnight. But you will take them straight out of the fridge before you walk out the door. The time you save can add 10 to 15 more minutes to your daily routine.
Bedtime routines
Bedtime routines become super important when you return to work, not just for the kids, but for you too.
While you should ensure your child goes to bed around the same time every night, do the same too. This will enable you to slip into a routine where you can wake up more refreshed and invigorated before you go to work.
Prior to sleep, have some proper time to relax, whatever that looks like, whether that’s watching shows or scrolling through your phone (although keep it on the blue filter or you will struggle to sleep).
Try to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night, if your baby lets you, to ensure your mind is active and switched on at work.
Have some ‘me time’ in the morning
It is amazing how many people simply wake up, take the kids to childcare and then go to work without so much as taking a breath.
But therein lies a missed opportunity. Mornings can be tough to wake up for, especially if there is nothing exciting to look forward to or you haven’t had enough sleep the night before. Consider waking up 30 minutes to an hour before you need to and claiming that time for yourself – the right routine is a great way to stay on top of your mental health.
If you have the chance to, going for a run is a great way to start the day or even doing some quiet yoga stretches to not wake the kids. At the very least, enjoy a quiet cup of your favourite hot beverage before the kids wake up and when they do eventually rise, you will be thankful you did have that quiet time to gather your thoughts.
Writing to-do lists
When you return to work, keep to-do lists by your side to mind-dump your millions of tasks in your brain, from both work and at home.
Doing the washing, buying milk, taking out the bins, paying the electricity bill or taking the library books back can go into this list too because it is amazing how much you can remember when you’re not rushing around kids.
When you have a bit of work downtime, write a list of thing you can feasibly complete when you get home, but don’t write down more than five of your most important goals because otherwise you’ll just experience overwhelm and get nothing done.
Organise a cleaning schedule
Cleaning, unfortunately, is something you will need to stay on top of, too. While it may not be something you want to do during the week after a hard day of work, equally you won’t want to spend too much time doing it at the weekend either. Therefore, it is important to establish a cleaning schedule.
A good strategy here is to break up the household chores into smaller chunks. So, for example, clean the bathroom on Monday, give the kitchen a proper clean once over on Tuesday, clean the house on Wednesday, wash the floors on Thursday, etc. That way, you spend around 30 minutes a day completing each individual task and the house is always in a relatively tidy state.
Or if you can afford to, outsource the cleaning so that you can concentrate on other things like investing in time for yourself and your kids.
Your key rights when returning to work
You need to know what your rights are before your first week back at work. For example, how will you divide your working hours and what are your rights when pumping at work? We will discuss your flexible working rights in more detail below.
Your right to request flexible working
If you have had 26 weeks of service with the same employer, then you have a right to make a request to work flexibly. ‘Flexible working’ means you can alter the way you work, for example:
You can change your start and finish times flexibly (known as ‘flexitime’)
You can reduce your hours to work part-time
You can compress your hours to work fewer days
You can request remote working, i.e. work from home or elsewhere
You can ‘job share’ the role with someone else if that’s easier.
Before making the request, speak to your employer informally first to discuss the arrangements and once confirmed, you can make a formal request in writing. Please note you can only make one request under the statutory regime in any 12-month period, so make sure you include all the terms you need to help your transition out of maternity leave. Date the request and explain the change you would like and when you’d like it to start.
State in your letter that you are making the request to care for a child and detail the impact on family life if it is turned down.
Once you make a request, your employer has three months to decide, and this can be extended if both parties agree. They can’t unreasonably deny the request and can only refuse for a ‘permitted business reason’, which may include:
The cost is too much
The change has a detrimental effect on customer demand
It would be too difficult to reorganise work among existing staff
The employer won’t be able to recruit any additional staff
There is a detrimental effect on quality and performance
There is insufficient work during the periods you propose to work
There are planned structural changes going on
You are not eligible to make the request (i.e. you have not been employed for 26 weeks or you have already made a request in the last 12 months)
Your employer has to give a permitted reason within three months and provide factual reasons for the decision, or they will have breached the procedure.
If your flexible working request is accepted then it will be permanently amended in your contract unless you both decide that the arrangement is temporary. You can agree to a trial period of between 3 to 6 months to see if the flexitime is working for you and if you need time, you can extend the trial period until you are both in a decision to accept a final change.
It’s important to consider how to improve work performance by focusing on wellbeing, especially when you have another full-time job to add to the hat at home, so requesting flexible working is not just a right but it will help you manage and multitask your two roles.
Questions to ask to better the return to work
How to deal with being a working mum
There is a lot to think about at work and then there will be a lot to think about at home. How do you manage both and not go mad? Here are some tips on how to manage the dual-responsibilties.
Divide your time between your work and your kids
It’s hard to put the phone or the laptop away when you have tasks that weren’t completed that day. But, it’s very difficult to work on both looking after the kids and completing your work tasks at optimum capacity. Of course, if you have no choice you have no choice but if you do, put your work away and be 100% present with the kids. That way you can minimise guilt and be 100% at work.
Allow online platforms to do some of the admin work for you
Some websites like Hiive and LinkedIn are awesome for networking and finding business. As long as you’ve set up your profile properly and added your skills, talents, and work experience, allow these websites to find you business without you having to scour the internet for them. This saves you so much time and allows you to focus on the other tasks on your to do list. Hiive is more of a creative platform, so if you have a creative business, this website would be perfect for you.
If you’re employed then most of these processes would have been set for you by your employer, but for those who work from themselves, outsource where possible to increase time better spent where it’s needed the most.
Talk to your kids about what you do
If you have older kids, then talking to them about work may help them understand why you’re not there all the time, perhaps during the school run or during the day. You’ll be amazed at how children’s perspectives can make you see things from a whole new angle. But, not only that, your kids will get to know you better and you will get to know them better.
Talk to your partner about what you do
The same point applies for your partner. If you work during the evening, like I do, sometimes your partner may feel left out. Or, it’s been a while since you’ve spent any real time together. Talking to your partner about what work you have going on at the moment and the deadlines you face with will give them a better understanding of the pressure you are under and may even offer some helpful advice and support. And, vice versa, be there for your partner if they have any issues at work. Mommy Authority has some great tips on work/life balance too.
Other options when returning to work doesn’t work
It’s worth looking at alternatives to employment if having a baby has completely changed your outlook on working. Having a baby is a life-changing experience, so a change of heart is quite common. Do you like being your own boss, going freelance and making a bit of money on the side?
Choosing to become a stay-at-home mum
You may find that before you had your baby, you were adamant you would go back from maternity leave and return to work the moment you had the chance to recover. And, now you’ve had your baby, your mentality has changed considerably from one day to the next, especially if you’re a new mum.
The financial pressures of finding childcare may seem too much to bear or you cannot leave your child in the hands of someone else. Whatever the reason is for wanting to stay at home and not returning to work after maternity leave, it all depends on whether you can survive on your partner’s salary alone. Can you afford to give up work?
You may well be able to cut living costs and expenses, but you also have to consider long-term job prospects as well. Would you consider going back to work after maternity leave at a later date and how easy/difficult would it be to climb that career ladder later on down the line?
If you can’t afford to become a stay-at-home mum, but you don’t want to go back to your old job then consider applying for a new job or working for yourself as an option to bringing in some money for the family.
Taking additional maternity leave
If you take additional maternity leave, will it be unpaid? Will your employer allow more leave and will you be sharing this leave with your partner? Discuss options with your employer if you are simply not ready to go back yet. More new mums are taking this option, so employers are not new to this concept.
Finding a new job
Some say the hardest challenge is building up the confidence to apply to jobs, as the lack of assurance becomes a barrier to parents who have opted to take a few years out of the workplace to look after their children. However, despite having some time away from the workplace, the experience you have gained – both from inside the workplace and at home – is highly valuable to employers.
If you have been a stay-at-home-mum and you have a long gap in your CV, then use your transferable skills as a multi-tasking parent as a reason you are qualified to apply for that position. Being a stay-at-home parent requires discipline, organisation, energy and perseverance.
All you need to do is dress those buzzwords up and relate them to the vacancy. If you would prefer to get some professional help to draft and plan your CV, look, for professional resume writing services who know how to spin these gaps in your CV as attractive skills and competencies that can relate to the role that you are applying for.
If you do not have a job but would like to find one, head over to the best job websites. For example, on Jooble, you will find many great open positions in different industries.
Becoming self-employed
Working for yourself can be the perfect alternative to working around your family and there are tons more options available to working mums now than there have ever been, thanks to entrepreneurial mothers, increasing maternity leave pay, opening up new businesses and creating new jobs for others.
Being self-employed means you work for yourself, either for your own business or for someone else’s business. But you dictate your hours, time, and fees, so you can be flexible enough to work around your children. The first thing you would need to do is register yourself as self-employed with the HMRC and then decide whether you want to start your own business or work for someone else.
Self-employed and starting your own business
If you are looking to start your own business, you would need to first make sure your business idea is viable. Is there a market need or are you a professional in your chosen niche? Can you gain a profit from the business so you are making money?
Choose the perfect name for your business and do your market research. Create a business plan and work out how you will make your money. Make sure you start all the marketing early, i.e. design your logo, register a domain name and build a website. Ensure your email and website are set up correctly so you can liaise with your clients, build email lists and gain business.
Make sure you get your finances in order before you start. A good accounting and cash flow program can help with this. It’s a good idea to start with something simple to log incomings and outgoings related to the business like FreshBooks which is a great invoicing tool for beginners who feel overwhelmed and worry about making mistakes with their money. As you plan to grow your business, you can then outsource and use an accountant to sort out the money side of things.
You can find lots of resources online for setting up your own business from home. A good place to start would be www.startups.co.uk, as this website goes through setting up your own business from the very beginning in simple English.
Self-employed and working for someone else
Careers like PAs, Bookkeepers and VAs (Virtual Assistants) offer flexi-hours and career options, plus the pay is getting better and more competitive within these industries. Roles like Executive PA Courses offer classroom PA Training because it is important to experience face-to-face soft skills training for a people-facing role. Also, it is important to update your skills to compete with people leaving university or school with fresh and modernised skills.
Four lessons we’ve learned about maternity leave
I have never taken maternity leave as I work for myself, so I have taken maternity allowance. But, after speaking to multiple women about how they felt after returning to work from maternity leave, these were the four overriding lessons they learned.
Don’t expect your coworkers to understand
Your coworkers can be sympathetic to your new responsibility and they can even be helpful, but don’t expect them to understand how it feels coming into the office on two hours’ sleep because you were up dealing with a crying baby the night before.
Your employers can be reasonable and offer flexitime but, the sad truth is, you’re not as important as you think you are and you are at work with others who are struggling with their own relative problems and competing for roles within the business. You’re there to do a job and as flexible as your employer can be, you need to fulfil the role you are expected to do.
Noone, but no one expects you to be on it on your first day at work after maternity leave, so give yourself some time to get back into the groove.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
That said, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It takes a village to raise a baby, and that saying has never been more true today than when it was hundreds of years ago – even more so now that parents are expected to do everything. Call in favours to look after your children when you have an emergency work meeting or request to work from home when your child is having a mental health day off (these are real).
Ask other employees to complete tasks if they can be delegated and ask your partner to do the laundry that night so you can get an extra five minutes’ rest. Ask for help – the worst they can say is no, in which case ask someone else. Don’t suffer in silence.
Do connect with other working parents
It can get quite lonely dealing with the pressure of working parenthood when your colleagues are either single or don’t have kids of their own. Connect with other working parents so that you can bounce ideas off each other and provide that much-needed advice and support. You might even make new friends for life.
Plus, there is nothing more reassuring than when another working mum says, ‘I totally get how you feel, I feel that way too.’ It confirms that one, you’re not crazy, two, you’re not weak, and three, you’re not alone.
Be confident in your decision
Many parents who have taken time away from the workplace feel incredibly nervous about their return date. After spending a considerable amount of time away, it is normal to feel uneasy about your maternity leave ending. Trust your instincts will kick in and you will do the right thing. And if you haven’t, then it’s fixable.
Use your right to flexible working to help you ease back into the workplace and be confident in yourself that, yes, you’ve had a baby but you are still that person who worked in that same role before you had your baby – you’ve just taken some time out is all.
When going back to work after maternity leave, seek advice from other parents who have taken a break in their career and ask them how they dealt with the change in routine. It is worth speaking to your employer or HR department and asking about flexible hours in the first few months to help ease you into the new schedule and settle your child into new childcare arrangements.
Lastly, call in favours where possible if you’re struggling with the change, whether that be backup childcare or speaking to someone about your struggles. Try to leave work at work when you come home and use what precious time you have as ‘me’ time to rejuvenate.
You’ve got this. Good luck.
FAQ
What are my rights as an employee returning from maternity leave? My job wants to keep the person who temporarily replaced me while on maternity leave by giving them one of my shifts every month. Is this allowed?
“You are entitled to your normal contractual terms and conditions, apart from ‘remuneration’ (your wages/salary), during ordinary and additional maternity leave. This means you are entitled to continue to accrue your normal benefits such as paid holiday as if you were at work.”
Can an employer terminate a female employee who just returned after maternity leave?
Other questions asked were:
Can an employer terminate a female employee who just returned after maternity leave?
“It is possible to be dismissed (sacked or fired) when pregnant or during family-related leave (maternity, adoption or shared parental leave), but your dismissal should be fair. You should not be dismissed because of your pregnancy or family-related leave.”
Can you negotiate to work from home after maternity leave?
This article tells you how to negotiate a part-time or flexible return from maternity leave.
Can my employer ask when I will return from maternity leave?
“An employer can ask when you are going to return to work. It is advisable to provide as much information as you can, but you should not: Be put under pressure to provide information about when you will return before you are obliged to do so.”
Questions to ask when returning from maternity leave?
This article has some great questions to ask after you return to work after maternity leave.
How do I cope with returning to work after maternity leave?
Other questions asked were:
How to cope with returning to work after maternity leave?
How do I cope with returning to work after maternity leave?
See above for tips on how to make your return to work an easier transition.
When you return to work after maternity leave how do you cope up with your baby especially when they are breastfed?
See above for tips on how to go back to work after maternity leave.
How does a first time mother feel when she returns back to work after a maternity leave?
“Going back to work after maternity leave often comes with a rollercoaster of emotions for many mums. The ‘mum guilt‘ makes an appearance when you think about leaving your little one, topped with the apprehension and worry whether you can still do your job on little sleep and months of being in ‘mum mode’.”
Can I go back to work before my maternity leave has ended?
“You can go to work on the day that you are due back, although ideally your employer should reach out to have a conversation about your return to work during your maternity leave. Your employer should have written to you to confirm the date your maternity leave ends.”
Returning to work early from maternity leave can be hard at any stage of parenthood, but you will experience varying issues. For example, going back to work 1 month after having a baby will differ greatly from going back to work when baby is 2 years old. After 1 month, you’re still in your postnatal period. You may be breastfeeding, your hormones are still raging and you’re likely having broken sleep.
When your child is two, you are more settled into a routine at home; you feel stronger perhaps as a parent and you may feel more ready to go back to work. But you’ve been away from work for longer and you may feel more out of touch with the real world outside of your four walls.
It’s important you speak to your employer at both stages to discuss how you will transition smoother for you and discuss variations on your contract accordingly.
How long after returning from maternity leave can I quit?
“You are entitled to remain on maternity leave for up to 52 weeks and resign towards the end of your maternity leave period if you decide that you are not able to return to work.”
Can you not go back to work after maternity leave?
What if I don’t return to work after maternity leave?
Should I return to work after maternity leave?
“You’re entitled to return to the same job after maternity leave if you’ve been away 26 weeks or less. Your pay and conditions must be the same as or better than if you hadn’t gone on maternity leave. It’s unfair dismissal and maternity discrimination if your employer says you can’t return to the same job.”
See above for options if you don’t want to return to work.
When should I return to work after maternity leave?
Other questions asked:
When should a woman return to work after pregnancy?
“Most women wait about six weeks from their baby’s birth date to return to work, though some doctors will clear a new mother for work as early as three weeks postpartum. Complications during delivery or C-section may prolong recovery time.”
Is it hard to go back to work after maternity leave?
When you do have to return to work after maternity leave it can be a difficult time for many reasons, but sometimes the concerns before are greater than when you actually return to work. So if you plan and prepare accordingly, using the tips above on how to return to work after maternity leave it should make it an easier transition for you when it’s time.
How many mothers return to work after maternity leave?
“Fewer than one-in-five of all new mothers, and 29 per cent of first-time mothers, return to full-time work in the first three years after maternity leave.22″
Is going back to work after maternity leave a difficult time for all mums?
It can be, depending on your situation. Some mums are more than ready to return to work. They might not agree with being a stay at home mum or they may not have a choice but to return to work, even if they don’t want to.
“Some employers offer a gradual return to work where you start doing fewer hours or days than usual – often called a ‘phased return’. If you’d like to do this, it’s a good idea to speak to your employer about this in advance so they know your plans.”
[1] Nannies who look after children from different families can be self-employed and therefore must account for their own taxes. It would still be prudent to have a written contract between yourselves.
[2] Depending on the age of your children, your childminder will have to be registered on the Early Years Register and/or the Childcare Register.
[3] Including provisions under the Early Years foundation stage framework since September 2012.
*Collaborative feature post*
Choosing a Baby Rattle
When you plan for the arrival of your baby, baby rattles frequently come as an afterthought. More often than not, you just purchase the first available baby rattle you see or use the ones gifted during baby showers. It appears that baby rattles have been relegated to an inconsequential extra. However, as you will discover, rattles for babies actually play a an important role in the mental and physical development of your baby.
Benefits of a baby rattle
A baby rattle makes a distinctive sound when shaken. This will attract the attention of your baby, who will bring the rattle closer. The new movement will once again create a sound, which will also attract baby again. This repeated loop will gradually and indirectly strengthen your baby’s upper limb muscles while improving his/her hand-eye coordination and sound recognition. The shape and colours of the rattle, meanwhile, will help enhance baby’s colour and depth perception, and spatial awareness.
Babies don’t begin to comprehend the existence of their arms and hands until they are about two months old. So, rattles should be introduced around that time, when you start to see your baby clench, open and wave around his/her fists.
Choosing the right baby rattle
There is a dizzying choice of rattles on the market, so deciding on one can be a little overwhelming. However, there are actually just a few factors you need to consider when buying one.
Choose a soft rattle:
Babies tend to hit the rattle on their head. As such, using beautiful wooden rattles or fancy silver ones may not be such a good idea. Instead, opt for a soft and light rattle that will prevent your baby from crying out in pain or tiring under its weight.
Material:
There are some lovely wooden rattles sold online and in baby shops. However, keep in mind that babies will use their rattles for teething. Unless you are confident of the non-toxicity of the varnish, paint and glue used on the surface of the rattle, you’re probably better buying a plastic one. Plastic rattles are also so much easier to clean – just a gentle wipe and the occasional wash will clean them up well.
Age Appropriate Rattles:
Consider rattles that match the mental and physical development of your baby. When you give your baby a rattle for the first time (around two months old), the rattle should be light and free of any bells and whistles. By the time your baby is three to four months old, the rattle should be able to generate sound when rattled. When baby is six months old, it’s time to help develop his/her fine motor skills. Go for rattles with an interactive button (or buttons) that will emit sound or light when pressed. Within a few months, your baby should be able to press the button at will. And, when your baby starts teething at around nine months (earlier for some babies), buy rattles that can withstand constant chewing and contain no toxic material.
It may sound like a time consuming process, but today’s world brings a plethora of stores available to parents, with a vast array of rattles suitable for your baby – you can even find a selection of baby rattles at the large supermarkets where you buy your groceries!
*Collaborative feature post*
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Feel Good Contacts Review– cheapest online contact lenses
I am a long-term contact lens and glasses wearer – I started wearing glasses at around 12 years old and then contact lenses at 16. So, I’ve spent more than half my life wearing corrective lenses. Considering I’ve spent about £25 per box every month, that is… hold on, let me work out the total amount… approximately £12,000 on contact lenses so far!
Now, considering I change my prescription glasses every few years or so and each pair of glasses costs, on average, £400 minimum, I have spent around £4,800 on glasses thus far. Plus, as I have Myopia (short-sightedness) and Astigmatism (distorted vision at all distances), I have to wear special contact lenses and glasses, which cranks the price up even further.
The brand of contact lenses I used to wear was Johnson & Johnson 1 Day Acuvue Moist for Astigmatism*, which normally costs me around £25 to £40 per box, depending on where I buy the contact lenses online. Luckily I found an online retailer called Feel Good Contacts* which sell Toric lenses for astigmatism* at a super cheap £20 a box. Each contact lens case holds 30 contacts so that’s just 67p a lens!* I now wear Acuvue Oasys 1 Day for Astigmatism* which I find more comfortable and cost just £23.90 per box.
Want to go even cheaper than that?
The comfi Daily Disposable contact lenses* are just £8.49 a box – that’s just 28p per lens!*
So, below is my Feel Good contact lenses review of the website, lenses and Feel Good Contacts’ online delivery service. So, if you’re a contact lenses wearer and you’d like to receive a discount on your eye care and sunglasses, then stay tuned because there’s more information to follow.
Who are Feel Good Contacts?
Feel Good Contacts is currently the cheapest online retailer of contact lenses in the market, due to their Price Match Guarantee, so customers can save up to 50% on their contact lenses. To top that off, Feel Good Contacts also offer next day delivery on orders made before 7 pm, which is a lifesaver for me, as there have been many a time when I’ve gone to use my contact lenses and I realised I was fresh out… Glasses don’t stay on my face when I have two boys and a toddler girl hanging off my limbs…
So, I’m going to take you through buying contact lenses from Feel Good Contacts and review their delivery service, as well as the contact lenses themselves.
Feel Good Contacts’ website – purchasing the contacts
Your first port of call is Feel Good Contacts’ website, which is https://www.feelgoodcontacts.com*.
Straight away you will see the offers that Feel Good Contacts have available at that moment, along with reviews left by other customers, which is always handy. If you know what you’re looking for, there is a navigation menu on the left-hand side, which displays the brands, type of contact lenses, manufacturer and even the optician you’re looking for. I know what I’m looking for – So I’ll head straight to ‘Torics for Astigmatism’*, as seen below:
I click on ‘1 Day Acuvue Moist for Astigmatism*’ or ‘Acuvue Oasys 1 Day for Astigmatism’* and then fill out my prescription details. Make sure to consult your optician or take an eye test to update your prescription as Feel Good Contacts won’t check your prescription details – it is your responsibility to get this right.
Once you’ve done that, proceed to the purchase page and buy your contact lenses. You have the option for them to be delivered the next day on a tracked service (if ordered before 7pm Monday to Saturday), Guaranteed Next Day delivery by 1 pm or Click & Collect from the closest station.
The contacts, as promised, were delivered the next day in a rather large box (as I had six packs of 30 contact lenses inside). The products inside were carefully presented, which is a lovely touch and there was a rather surprising, but very welcoming present inside too!
I could have given these sweets to my boys… but…
As I wear my contact lenses for at least six hours a day, my eyes dry out a lot by late afternoon/early evening. So, these below Blink Tear Vials eye drops* came in very handy!
Onto the contact lenses.
I’ve been wearing the contact lenses for about a month now and they haven’t given me any trouble at all. They keep my eyes moist during the day and they don’t move around or scratch my eyes, which is great. When I’m out and about, I really don’t feel them in my eyes. But, towards the end of the day, my eyes get tired and dry, so I normally take them out at that point and put on my glasses. The eye drops, however, have allowed me a further couple of hours of use, if I can’t get to my glasses in time.
Other money-saving options on Feel Good Contacts
If you’re a monthly contact lens wearer
You can buy either a 3-pack* or 6-pack* of the highly-rated Air Optix Aqua monthly contact lens for just £12.89 to £25.78, which is a huge saving.
You can currently get the comfi All-in-One Solution Triple Pack cleaning solutions for just £9.99.* Top sellers Comfi have tons of different contact lens options.
If you’re looking to buy in bulk, then the Dailies AquaComfort Plus (90 Pack)* costs just £41.55 at the moment. Don’t forget you can get an extra 10% off your first order when you sign up.
Feel Good contacts sell sunglasses too!
Feel Good contacts also sell glasses and to protect you from the sun, they have a vast range of polarised and fully UV protective sunglasses where you can make a massive saving too. I love the round square wayfarer sunglasses and they’re super cheap too!
You have tons of frame shapes: aviator, oval, rectangle etc. so check it out and you can always contact customer service if you can’t find something you’re looking for in particular. They have a live chat service but you can also call on 0800 458 2090 if you need optical advice.
You can also ask them whether they have a Feel Good contacts coupon code you can use at checkout – don’t ask, don’t get, right!
One of the brands Calvin Klein sunglasses is on sale and costs just £83.13. And with 10% off your first order, that’s just £75!
Other brands include Gucci, Hugo Boss, Tommy Hilfiger, Versace and Jimmy Choo, so take your pick because they are all discounted at the moment.
Are you a student? Get further discounts!
You can get a Feel Good contacts student discount if you are at uni. Students get 16% off their first order if they are full time students. Click here to select your student discount provider and you will then be redirected to a new page.
Does Feel Goods Contacts ship to US?
Yes! Feel Good contacts delivery to USA is tracked and takes 7 to 10 business days if your order before 7pm BST. Delivery costs from £9.50.
Feel Good Contacts Returns
If you’ve ordered the wrong lenses, your item has been damaged or you no longer need it, Feel Good Contacts have a 100% money-back guarantee or exchange. They also offer free tracked returns and a full refund (not including delivery charges) within 90 days of purchase. Check out this page for more details on their returns policy.
Overall opinion
From start to finish, Feel Good contact lenses’ service was seamless – it was super simple to order the contacts I wanted – they arrived the next day and were beautifully wrapped, with Haribo’s in the box too (nice touch!). I had no problems with the contacts at all, plus, I saved a lot of money using Feel Good Contacts’ service because the contacts are only £19.90 a box – that’s a clear £5 saving per box every time. It’s no surprise that Feel Good store reviews’ and Trustpilot score is 9.6/10.
So that’s my Feel Good Contacts Review UK version. Why don’t you give it a try for yourself? If you are a contact lenses wearer, looking for some prescription sunglasses, or you just require general eye accessories, check out Feel Good Contacts because the amount you can save on your eye care will become substantial over the years.
So, head over to https://www.FeelGoodContacts.com and get 10% off your first order now!
What about you? Do you prefer contact lenses or glasses and why? Share your favourite brand in the comments below.
