Essential car seat safety tips during school runs with Graco
I have four drop-offs and pick-ups during the dreaded school run, which can last around two hours each way. So, it’s safe to say I’ve seen my fair share of driving mishaps, which have either caused me to emergency brake or swerve towards the curb. Each time there has been a jolt at the back of the car, I’m thankful my kids’ car seats were secure enough to handle the near-misses.
However, I haven’t always been on top of car seat safety in the last 14 years. Safety on the road has always been a huge concern for parents, especially during the hectic school runs where the risk of accidents increases significantly.
So, in the run-up to Road Safety Week (17th to 23rd November) and in collaboration with Graco and their ‘Safety Within’ campaign, we thought it would be a great time to revisit car seat safety measures, especially during the school runs, so we can feel safe and secure even when the roads can get quite hectic.
In this guide, we will deep dive into car seat safety and shed light on the often-overlooked dangers of school commutes. We will also go through appropriate safety measures for older children, as often parents believe our kids are too big for car seats, which isn’t always the case. We will also explore Graco’s dedication to enhance daily travel safety for families, so your most precious passengers are protected at all times.
Why Road Safety Week?
Road Safety Week is more than just a campaign and annual observance; it’s a crucial intervention designed to make our roads safer for everyone, especially our children. Road Safety Week serves as a potent reminder of the risks present every time we buckle our children into their car seats and start the engine. The point is to educate about safe practices and advocate for policies that protect all road users.
Why are we focusing on the school runs though?
School runs tend to be the times when children are most at risk on the roads. As evidenced by alarming statistics from the Department of Transport, nearly one in six-weekday car accidents occur when children are being dropped off (8-9 am) or picked up (3-4 pm) from school.
This period of high traffic and increased activity can also lead to rushed decisions and not paying attention, with the Department of Transport reporting that distractions inside the vehicle have been a contributory factor in 85 deaths and 4,103 injuries, ranging from mobile phone usage to activities involving other passengers, particularly children. These activities include managing children, such as attending to their needs or settling disputes, which can divert the driver’s attention from the road.
Furthermore, Allianz reported that insurance claims peak around 3pm, coinciding with the end of the school day when people are collecting kids and highlighting the afternoon rush hour as a critical time for heightened vigilance – people seem less alert during these times than the morning drop.
Driving on autopilot in familiar settings—often the case during regular school runs—means drivers are not as alert to unusual situations. This lack of alertness is a critical factor in why many accidents occur within a 10-mile radius of the home. In response to these risks, drivers are urged to exercise extra caution during school run rush hours and adhere to a recommended speed limit of 20mph in these community areas. This lower speed limit is intended to enhance safety for all road users, especially the young pedestrians who may unpredictably enter the roadway.
Graco has been a proud supporter of Brake for two years, the road safety charity behind this significant week, to promote safety and actively make road travel safer, especially during the school runs. Graco is enhancing its involvement by aligning its ‘Safety Within’ campaign with Brake’s Road Safety Week and this campaign will be featured on Graco’s Instagram account from November 17th to 23rd, providing daily child car safety tips aimed at educating parents and improving road safety awareness.
“Graco has been trusted by families to keep children safe in car seats for over 60 years, and supporting Brake helps us to extend that trust to the wider community.”
Luisa Rollins-Svensson, Consumer and Trade Marketing Manager at Graco UK
Graco wants to educate parents about these statistics and the real risks they represent, so we can all adopt a more safety-conscious approach to school runs. This focus is not only about preventing accidents but also about instilling lifelong safe driving habits that ensure our children’s safety every day.
Brake’s comprehensive safety guidelines for families
Brake provides invaluable guidance (you can find more information here) to protect children in and around vehicles, so that every journey is as safe as possible. Here are some important tips on how to be safe on the road:
Select the right vehicle for family safety
Choosing a safe car is the first step in safeguarding your family on the road. The EuroNCAP safety ratings are an invaluable resource for assessing a vehicle’s protective capabilities in crash scenarios and offer detailed insights into how well a car safeguards its occupants, including children, and pedestrians outside the vehicle.
These ratings evaluate everything from the effectiveness of seat belts and airbags to the structural integrity of the car in frontal, side, and rear collisions. Furthermore, opting for vehicles equipped with advanced safety technologies—such as autonomous emergency braking systems—can significantly enhance safety. These systems help prevent accidents by automatically applying the brakes if a collision is imminent, potentially saving lives. Additionally, cars designed with features that minimise injuries to pedestrians, such as softer bonnet materials and external airbags around the windscreen, represent a thoughtful choice for families concerned with both in-car and external road safety.
Make sure your child is properly restrained
Always use a child seat that is appropriate for your child’s height, age and development, certified with the United Nations E mark or BS Kitemark, and preferably new to avoid risks associated with wear or unknown history. For optimal safety:
Use rear-facing seats for as long as possible (Graco recommends up to at least 4 years if possible).
Make sure the car seat fits the child’s current size and switch to the next size only when necessary.
Continue using a child seat until the child reaches 150cm, so they continue to be safe in the car.
Adopt these driving behaviours to minimise accidents
Speed control and minimising distractions are paramount. Encourage safe driving behaviours by setting a personal example, i.e.:
Adhere to speed limits, especially in residential and school areas, and drive at 20mph where possible
Never use your phone while driving. If necessary, store it in the glove box to avoid temptation.
Engage your children in maintaining safety by asking them to remind you about safe driving practices. We will discuss this in more detail below.
Rethink the School Run
If feasible, reduce the reliance on driving for school commutes:
Encourage walking or cycling to school to promote safety, health, and environmental benefits.
If driving is necessary, consider parking a short distance from the school and walking the rest of the way to alleviate congestion at school gates and minimise the risk of accidents.
Never leave children unattended in a vehicle
We cannot overstate the dangers of leaving children alone in a vehicle, especially in warm conditions. Always ensure your children are never left in a car unattended, as this can lead to tragic consequences.
A deeper dive into car seat safety guidelines
Your child’s safety during every car journey is paramount and with Graco’s expert advice and innovative car seats, you can be confident that your little ones are securely and comfortably buckled up. We will go through some of Graco’s tools and resources to ensure you are as safe as possible on the road.
Legal and safety requirements for car seats
Airbag deactivation: When using a car seat in the front passenger seat, it’s a legal requirement to deactivate the front airbags, to prevent injury in the event of an accident. Always consult your vehicle’s manual and the car seat’s instruction manual to ensure correct installation and airbag deactivation.
Appropriate sizing: Children should use car seats that are appropriate for their size until they reach 150cm. Do not rush the transition from one stage of child seat to another. Safety first!
Extended rear-facing use: Keep your child in a rear-facing seat until they reach a minimum of 75cm and 15 months of age. Extensive research has shown that rear-facing seats offer better protection for your child’s head, neck, and spine.
Regular fit checks: Regularly check that the car seat fits your child’s current height. i-Size and R129 standards use height as the primary indicator for seat suitability. Graco’s car seat buying guide can help you make sure your seat is the right fit.
Travelling with children requires not only the right equipment but also the knowledge of how to use it effectively to ensure maximum safety. Here are some expert tips to make sure every journey with your little ones are as safe as possible:
Remove your child’s coat during the colder months
During colder months, remove your child’s coat before securing them in their car seat, so the harness fits snugly against their chest and shoulders. You can place the coat or a blanket over the secured harness for additional warmth without compromising on safety.
Harness security – try the pinch test
To check if the 5-point harness is tight enough, perform the pinch test. Try to pinch the strap at your child’s shoulder; if you can pinch a fold in the fabric, the harness is too loose and needs adjusting. Make sure the harness straps are level and equally tight on both sides to provide balanced support and restraint.
Optimal seating position – SHH! (seat, headrest, handlebars)
When considering the optimal seating position, think SHH! (which is what I use to remind myself that I’ve checked everything). Always position the youngest child or the child in the rear-facing seat behind the passenger seat. This positioning is safer during an accident, breakdown, or even when you’re parked, as it allows you to access your child safely from the pavement side without exposing them to road traffic.
Adjust the headrest so the bottom aligns with your child’s chin and sits 2-3 cm above their shoulders. This ensures the headrest can protect the head efficiently without causing discomfort or restricting movement.
For Group 0+/i-Size infant carriers, keep the handlebar upright as it acts as a secondary safety feature during collisions, helping to protect your baby further.
The Graco Affix i-Size R129 ISOFIX Highback Booster grows with your child
Age and Size Adaptability: Suitable for children approximately aged 3.5 to 12 years, accommodating heights from 100 to 150cm.
Safety Certifications: The seat is i-Size and R129 certified, meeting the latest safety standards, which include advanced side impact protection to safeguard your child in the event of a side collision.
Installation Ease: Colour-coded ISOFIX connectors make the installation process straightforward, minimising errors and enhancing overall safety.
Lightweight and Portable: Weighing just 4.2kg, this booster is easy to transfer between vehicles, making it ideal for families on the move.
Comfort Features: Includes breathable fabrics for side ventilation, a 10-position adjustable headrest, premium padded seat and armrests for comfort on long journeys. Dual retractable cupholders keep necessities within easy reach too.
One of Brake’s innovative strategies is to recommend involving children actively in their own safety. One of these strategies includes encouraging children to role-play as ‘police(wo)men’, overseeing the safety practices within the car. This role-playing activity does more than entertain; it empowers children to actively participate in maintaining safety. It’s a fun and interactive way to monitor and remind about safety protocols such as seatbelt usage and proper seating, but it also instils a sense of responsibility and awareness about road safety from a young age. Children can develop a deeper understanding of safe driving practices, making them more likely to grow up with a conscientious approach to driving and road use.
You can support these initiatives by reinforcing the message that road safety is crucial and everyone has a role to play in ensuring a safe journey.
FAQs on car seat safety during school runs
1. What is the proper car seat safety during school runs?
Proper car seat safety involves using a car seat appropriate for your child’s height, age, and weight. Make sure the seat is installed according to the manufacturer’s instructions and secured tightly in your vehicle. Always use the harness and buckle system as directed to keep your child safely restrained during each journey.
2. At what age do you stop using a car seat?
You should continue using a car seat until your child reaches the height or weight limit specified by the seat’s manufacturer. After they outgrow the car seat, transition to a booster seat until they are tall enough to properly fit your vehicle’s seat belts, which is typically when they are about 150cm tall or 12 years old.
3. How can I ensure my child’s car seat is installed correctly?
To ensure correct installation, follow the car seat manual and your vehicle’s instruction manual carefully. Use either the seat belt or LATCH system to secure the seat. After installation, the seat should not move more than an inch side-to-side or front-to-back. If unsure, visit a local car seat inspection station for professional assistance.
4. What are the CDC recommendations for car seats?
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), America’s leading science-based, data-driven, service organisation that protects public’s health recommends keeping children in rear-facing car seats for as long as possible, moving to a forward-facing car seat with a harness until they reach the maximum weight or height limit, and then switching to a booster seat. They should remain in a booster seat until adult seat belts fit properly.
5. How do I check car seat safety ratings?
Car seat safety ratings can be checked through consumer reports or safety organisations that conduct and publish crash testing and safety evaluations, such as the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) or the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS).
6. Are booster seats safe?
Yes, booster seats (highback or backless) are safe and necessary for children who have outgrown their forward-facing harnessed seats but are not yet large enough for adult seat belts. Boosters elevate children to a height where the seat belt fits them properly over the sternum and the centre of the collarbone, not the neck, and low across the upper thighs, not the abdomen.
7. Why is car seat safety important?
Car seat safety is crucial as it significantly reduces the risk of injury or death in the event of an accident by properly securing the child and ensuring that impact forces are distributed over the strongest parts of the body.
8. How often should I check my child’s car seat for issues?
Check your child’s car seat regularly, at least once a month, to ensure there are no loose parts, and that straps and harnesses are not twisted or frayed. Always replace the car seat after any incident.
Final thoughts
Throughout this article, we have emphasised the pivotal role of car seat safety, particularly during school runs—a time when our children are frequently on the move and most vulnerable. Graco, in collaboration with Brake, has taken significant steps through its ‘Safety Within’ campaign to enhance awareness and instil rigorous safety measures, especially about the critical nature of properly fitted and utilised car seats. You must regularly check your child’s car seat meets current safety standards, such as the i-Size and R129 certifications, and ensure that these seats are correctly installed and maintained.
The statistics speak for themselves: accidents during school runs are not just possible but prevalent, with a disturbing number of these incidents attributed to preventable causes such as distraction and improper seat usage. So adhering to the guidelines provided, such as ensuring the correct seat for your child’s size and age and engaging children in safety practices, means you can drastically reduce these risks.
Every journey matters, and every precaution taken is a step toward safeguarding our children’s futures. Graco’s longstanding commitment to safety and their active involvement in Road Safety Week serves as a model for how companies and parents alike can contribute to creating safer travel environments for everyone.
For more detailed information on the latest in car seat safety technology and tips for secure travel, visit Graco’s website. Additionally, to stay engaged with ongoing safety campaigns and to find daily tips on protecting your little ones on the road, follow Graco’s Instagram. Join the ‘Safety Within’ campaign and become part of a growing community dedicated to ensuring that every child is protected, every journey, every day.
*This post is sponsored by Graco, but all thoughts are 100% my own – Some images are taken from Graco’s website*
What to include in a high conflict divorce parenting plan
Divorce is one of life’s most challenging transitions, often bringing a whirlwind of emotions and significant life changes. Navigating this difficult period requires more than just legal assistance; it demands a focus on self-care and emotional resilience. While the role of divorce lawyers is crucial, it’s equally important to employ strategies like a high conflict divorce parenting plan that not only supports your mental and emotional wellbeing, but explores practical ways to manage the emotional toll of divorce, so you can come out stronger on the other side.
In this article, we’ll discuss what a high conflict divorce is and provide tips on what to include in the parenting plan that offers physical and mental health support for the entire family.
What is a high conflict divorce?
High conflict divorces are characterised by intense, prolonged legal disputes and significant emotional turmoil. These divorces often involve frequent and hostile interactions between the parties, making it difficult to reach amicable resolutions. The conflicts can revolve around various issues, including child custody order, financial settlements, and personal grievances, and can have a profound impact on everyone involved, especially children’s lives.
Unlike more amicable divorces where both parties may work together to resolve their differences, high-conflict divorces are marked by ongoing disputes with high-conflict custody situations and a lack of resolution. Key indicators of a high-conflict divorce include:
Frequent litigation over joint custody and financial matters
High levels of stress and emotional strain
Difficulties in co-parenting and reaching a parenting agreement
Persistent negative interactions and direct communication breakdowns
Importance of a structured parenting plan
In high-conflict divorces, a structured parenting plan is essential to mitigate the negative effects on children’s well-being and to provide a clear framework for co-parenting. Learning how to co-parent with an ex effectively is crucial for implementing these plans successfully, especially when dealing with ongoing conflicts and communication challenges. A well-designed parenting plan can help:
Reduce conflict
A structured plan can minimise the potential for disputes and outline the responsibilities and schedules of each parent.
Provide stability for children
Children thrive on routine and predictability. A detailed parenting plan will ensure kids have a consistent and stable environment, despite the parental conflict.
Ensure fairness and clarity
A comprehensive plan helps both parents understand their roles and responsibilities, which promotes fairness and reduces resentment.
Support emotional wellbeing
Having a clear plan in place can reduce the stress and anxiety that often come with high conflict divorces, which helps both parents and children cope better with the transition.
Embrace a support system
During a divorce, isolation can amplify negative feelings, so it’s important to lean on a support system of friends, family, and professional counsellors. Surround yourself with people who offer emotional support and engage in open conversations, where you can express your feelings and seek help when needed. These connections provide a buffer against stress and help you process your emotions more effectively.
Role of friends and family
Friends and family can offer the emotional backing you need to navigate this challenging time and can help mitigate feelings of loneliness and isolation. Social connections are linked to better mental healthoutcomes, which is particularly important when dealing with the emotional strain of a divorce.
How to communicate your needs to your support system
Communicating effectively with your support system helps you get the support you need. Here are some tips:
Be Honest: Share your feelings openly with trusted friends and family members. Let them know exactly what you’re going through and how they can help.
Be Specific: If you need specific support, such as someone to talk to, or help with childcare or daily tasks, make these needs clear.
Set Boundaries: While it’s important to lean on your support network, it’s equally vital to set boundaries so your relationships remain healthy and balanced.
Show Gratitude: Express appreciation for the support you receive. Acknowledging their help strengthens your bond and encourages ongoing support.
Professional counsellors and therapists
Professional counsellors and therapists offer structured support that friends and family might not be able to provide. They can help you navigate complex emotions, develop coping strategies, and provide a safe space to express your feelings. Here are some specific benefits:
Objective Perspective: Therapists provide an impartial viewpoint, helping you see situations more clearly and avoid being overwhelmed by emotions.
Coping Strategies: They can teach you practical techniques to manage stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions.
Long-term Support: Professional guidance can help you build resilience and equip you with tools to handle future challenges.
How to find the right therapist or counsellor
Finding the right therapist or counsellor is crucial for effective support. Here are steps to help you find the right professional:
Research: Look for therapists who specialise in divorce, family therapy, or high conflict situations. Online directories, such as Psychology Today, can be helpful.
Ask for Recommendations: Seek recommendations from friends, family, or your primary care physician.
Check Credentials: Make sure your therapist is licensed and has the necessary qualifications and experience.
Initial Consultation: Many therapists offer a free initial consultation. Use this opportunity to discuss your needs, ask about their alternative approach, and see if you feel comfortable with them.
Consider Compatibility: It’s important to choose someone you feel comfortable with and who understands your specific situation.
Relevant Studies:
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B., & Layton, J.B. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.
This study highlights the importance of social relationships and their impact on health outcomes, emphasising the value of a support system during stressful times like a divorce. The meta-analysis found that individuals with strong social ties had a 50% increased likelihood of survival, underscoring the critical role of social support in mitigating stress and promoting overall health.
Prioritise physical health
Physical health is closely linked to emotional wellbeing. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep are fundamental to maintaining your physical health. Exercise, in particular, releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and reduce stress. Consider incorporating activities like yoga, which not only benefits the body but also calms the mind. Eating nutritious meals and maintaining a regular sleep schedule can also provide stability during turbulent times.
Exercise can:
Boost Mood: Physical activity increases the production of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters, which can help alleviate feelings of anxiety and depression.
Reduce Stress: Exercise helps lower the levels of stress hormones like cortisol, providing a natural way to manage stress.
Improve Sleep: Regular exercise can help you fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep, which is essential for emotional resilience.
Enhance Focus and Concentration: Physical activity increases blood flow to the brain, improving cognitive function and helping you stay focused during challenging times.
Recommended activities
With exercise, finding activities that you enjoy is key to maintaining a consistent routine. Here are some recommended activities:
Yoga: Yoga combines physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation to promote relaxation and mental clarity. It’s particularly effective for reducing stress and improving flexibility.
Walking: A simple walk in nature can do wonders for your mental health. Walking is accessible, requires no special equipment, and allows you to clear your mind.
Gym Routines: Strength training and cardiovascular exercises at the gym can provide a structured way to improve your fitness and release stress.
Swimming: Swimming is a low-impact exercise that can help you stay fit without putting too much strain on your joints. It’s also a great way to relax and unwind.
Balanced diet
Nutrition plays a crucial role in how your body manages stress. A balanced diet can help stabilise your mood, boost your energy levels, and support overall wellbeing. Here’s why nutrition matters:
Regulates Blood Sugar Levels: Eating balanced meals with protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates can prevent blood sugar spikes and crashes, which can affect your mood and energy levels.
Supports Brain Health: Nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish, and antioxidants, found in fruits and vegetables, are essential for brain health and can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Promotes Physical Health: Good nutrition supports your immune system, reduces inflammation, and helps maintain a healthy weight, all of which are important for managing stress.
Sample meal plans and dietary tips
Maintaining a balanced diet doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some simple meal ideas and tips to keep you on track:
Breakfast: Start your day with a nutrient-rich meal, such as oatmeal topped with berries and nuts, or a smoothie made with spinach, banana, and almond milk.
Lunch: Opt for a balanced meal like a quinoa salad with mixed vegetables and grilled chicken, or a whole-grain wrap with hummus, avocado, and fresh veggies.
Dinner: Include a variety of foods such as baked salmon with steamed broccoli and sweet potatoes, or a stir-fry with tofu, brown rice, and colourful vegetables.
Snacks: Choose healthy snacks like Greek yoghurt with honey, apple slices with peanut butter, or a handful of almonds.
Adequate sleep
Getting enough quality sleep is essential for emotional resilience and overall health. Here are some tips to help you improve your sleep:
Establish a Routine: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends, to regulate your internal clock.
Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool. Consider using blackout curtains, earplugs, or a white noise machine.
Limit Screen Time: Avoid screens (phones, tablets, computers) at least an hour before bedtime, as the blue light can interfere with your ability to fall asleep.
Practice Relaxation Techniques: Engage in calming activities before bed, such as reading, taking a warm bath, or practising mindfulness meditation.
Sleep is crucial for emotional wellbeing and cognitive function. Lack of sleep can:
Increase Stress Levels: Sleep deprivation can elevate stress hormones, making it harder to cope with daily challenges.
Impair Final Decision-Making: Poor sleep affects your ability to think clearly and make major decisions, which is particularly important during a high conflict divorce.
Affect Mood: Lack of sleep can lead to irritability, mood swings, and increased feelings of anxiety and depression.
Seek professional guidance
Besides the invaluable support from friends and family, professional guidance from therapists or counsellors can offer more structured support. Therapy provides a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), for example, can help reframe negative thought patterns and foster a more positive outlook. Don’t overlook the importance of legal advice either; consulting with experienced divorce lawyers ensures you understand your rights and can make informed decisions about your future.
Legal assistance
Navigating a high conflict divorce requires specialised legal expertise. A lawyer experienced in handling high conflict divorces can provide critical support in several ways:
Strategic Guidance: They can develop a tailored strategy that addresses the specific challenges of your case, so yours and your child’s best interests are protected.
Legal Representation: An experienced lawyer can represent you in family court, manage negotiations, and handle all legal documentation, reducing your stress and workload.
Conflict Mitigation: A skilled lawyer can help de-escalate conflicts by acting as an intermediary between you and your high-conflict ex-spouse, which promotes a more civil and productive dialogue.
Knowledge of Legal Rights: They can educate you about your legal rights and obligations, ensuring you make informed decisions throughout the divorce process.
How to choose the right lawyer
Choosing the right lawyer is important for managing a high conflict divorce. Here are some tips to help you find the right legal professional:
Research: Look for lawyers who specialise in family law and have extensive experience with high conflict divorce cases. Online reviews, legal directories, and recommendations from friends or other professionals can be valuable resources.
Consultations: Schedule initial consultations with a few lawyers to discuss your case and evaluate their approach. Many lawyers offer free or low-cost initial consultations.
Check Credentials: Make sure the lawyer is licensed and in good standing with the state bar association. Look for any disciplinary actions or complaints against them.
Assess Compatibility: It’s important to choose a lawyer you feel comfortable with and who understands your specific situation. Effective communication and mutual respect are key factors in a successful lawyer-client relationship.
Ask About Fees: Understand the lawyer’s fee structure, including hourly rates, retainer fees, and any additional costs. Make sure you are clear about how you will be billed and what services are included.
The role of therapy in high conflict divorces
Therapy plays a crucial role in helping individuals navigate the emotional turmoil of a high conflict divorce. Here’s how therapy can benefit you:
Emotional Support: A therapist provides a safe and non-judgmental space to express your feelings, helping you process emotions like anger, sadness, and fear.
Coping Strategies: Therapists can teach you practical coping mechanisms to manage stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions. These strategies can improve your overall emotional resilience.
Improved Communication: Therapy can enhance your communication skills and offer communication guidelines, making it easier to interact with your ex-spouse and high- conflict co-parent effectively.
Perspective and Insight: A therapist can offer new perspectives on your situation, helping you gain insights into your behaviour and thought patterns. This can be particularly useful in breaking negative cycles and fostering personal growth.
Overview of Cognitive-behavioural Therapy (CBT) and other relevant therapies
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective therapeutic approaches for managing the psychological impact of a high conflict divorce. Here’s an overview of CBT and other relevant therapies:
Cognitive-behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. It helps individuals reframe their thinking, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve emotional regulation. According to Hofmann, S.G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I.J.J., Sawyer, A.T., & Fang, A. (2012), CBT has been shown to be highly effective in treating various mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, which are common during high conflict divorces.
Mindfulness-based Therapy: This approach incorporates mindfulness practices to help individuals stay present and manage stress more effectively. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and mindful awareness can reduce anxiety and improve emotional well-being.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): EFT is designed to improve emotional attachment and bonding between individuals. It can be particularly helpful for couples going through a divorce who need to improve their traditional co-parenting relationship.
Family Therapy: This type of therapy involves working with family members to address and resolve issues affecting the family dynamic. It can be beneficial for children experiencing the effects of a high conflict divorce, helping them process their emotions and improve communication with both parents.
Engage in self-reflection
Divorce, while painful, can also be an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Taking time to reflect on your life, your goals, and what you want for your future can help you navigate this challenging period and journalling can be a helpful tool in this process. Reflecting on your experiences helps gain insights into what you want to change and what you aspire to achieve.
Benefits of journalling during divorce
Journalling is a powerful tool that can help you process your emotions and gain clarity during a high conflict divorce. Some benefits include:
Emotional Release: Writing about your feelings can provide an emotional outlet, helping to reduce stress and anxiety.
Self-Awareness: Journalling encourages self-reflection, allowing you to better understand your thoughts, behaviours, and reactions.
Problem Solving: By documenting your experiences, you can identify patterns and develop strategies to address challenges.
Goal Setting: Writing about your goals and aspirations helps to clarify your vision for the future and keep you focused on positive outcomes.
Prompts and tips for effective journalling
To get started with journalling, consider these prompts and tips:
Daily Reflections: Write about your day, focusing on your emotions, interactions, and any challenges you faced.
Gratitude Lists: List things you are grateful for each day to shift your focus toward the positive aspects of your life.
Future Goals: Write about your short-term and long-term goals, and outline steps to achieve them.
Stress Triggers: Document situations that trigger stress or anxiety, and explore ways to manage these feelings.
Letters to Yourself: Write letters to your future self, offering advice and encouragement based on your current experiences.
Relevant Studies:
Pennebaker, J.W., & Seagal, J.D. (1999). Forming a Story: The Health Benefits of Narrative. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 55(10), 1243-1254.
This study explores how writing about emotional experiences, such as through journaling, can promote mental and physical health. The act of forming a narrative around your experiences can help you make sense of them and facilitate emotional healing.
Setting future goals
Setting clear, achievable goals is crucial during a high conflict divorce. Goals provide direction and purpose, helping you stay focused on the future rather than dwelling on past conflicts. They also give you something positive to work toward, which can boost your motivation and self-esteem.
Steps to set and achieve personal goals
Here are some steps to help you set and achieve your personal goals:
Identify Your Priorities: Determine what is most important to you, whether it’s your career, personal growth, relationships, or health.
Set SMART Goals: Make sure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
Break It Down: Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to make them less overwhelming.
Create a Plan: Develop a detailed plan outlining the steps you need to take to achieve each goal.
Monitor Progress: Regularly review your progress and adjust your plan as needed.
Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements along the way to stay motivated.
Stay connected with your passions
Reconnecting with hobbies and interests that bring joy can be incredibly therapeutic. Engage in activities you love so it helps shift your focus away from the stress of divorce. It’s also an excellent way to meet new people and build a new social network, further supporting your emotional health.
List of hobbies and their benefits
Here are some hobbies you might consider and their benefits:
Painting or Drawing: Creative activities like painting or drawing can be very relaxing and provide a way to express your emotions visually.
Hiking or Walkming: Being in nature and getting physical exercise can improve your mood and reduce stress.
Reading: Losing yourself in a good book can be a great escape and help you relax.
Cooking or Baking: Trying new recipes and cooking healthy meals can be both enjoyable and beneficial for your wellbeing.
Gardening: Working with plants can be therapeutic and provide a sense of accomplishment.
Finding new interests
If you’re looking to explore new hobbies, here are some tips:
Try Different Activities: Experiment with various activities to see what you enjoy most.
Join Clubs or Groups: Look for local clubs or online communities that focus on activities you’re interested in.
Take Classes: Consider taking a class to learn a new skill or hobby.
Volunteer: Volunteering can be a fulfilling way to spend your time and meet new people.
Meeting new people post-divorce
Building a new social network is important for emotional support and companionship. Here are some ways to meet new people:
Join Social Groups: Look for groups or clubs in your area that share your interests, whether it’s a book club, hiking group, or art class.
Attend Community Events: Participate in local events and activities to meet new people.
Use Social Media: Online platforms can help you connect with like-minded individuals and expand your social circle.
Take Up a New Hobby: Engaging in new activities can introduce you to people who share your interests.
Volunteer: Volunteering for a cause you care about can help you meet compassionate and dedicated people.
Social connections are vital for your emotional health and well-being. They provide:
Emotional Support: Friends and social networks can offer comfort and understanding during tough times.
Reduced Stress: Social interactions can help reduce stress and improve your mood.
Sense of Belonging: Being part of a community or group can give you a sense of belonging and purpose.
Opportunities for Fun: Social activities can bring joy to your life, which is essential for emotional well-being.
Educate yourself
Knowledge is empowering. Educating yourself about the divorce process and the legal and financial implications involved can help you feel more in control and reduce anxiety stemming from uncertainty. Understanding what to expect can also prepare you for the practical aspects of your divorce.
Key stages of the divorce process
Here are the key stages you can expect during the divorce process:
Filing for Divorce: One spouse files a divorce petition, and the other spouse is served with divorce papers.
Response: The other spouse files a response to the petition, indicating whether they agree or disagree with the terms.
Discovery: Both parties exchange information and documents related to assets, debts, income, and other relevant matters.
Negotiation: The spouses negotiate terms of the divorce, including division of assets, physical custody of the children, and support arrangements. This can involve mediation or collaborative divorce processes.
Trial: If negotiations fail, the case goes to trial, where a judge makes the final decisions on contested issues.
Finalisation: Once all terms are agreed upon or decided by the court, the divorce is finalised, and a divorce decree is issued.
Legal and financial implications
Understanding the legal and financial implications of divorce is crucial. This includes:
Division of Assets: How property and debts will be divided between the spouses.
Child Custody Time and Support: Arrangements for the custody exchanges and support of children, including parenting time holiday schedules.
Spousal Support: Whether one spouse will provide financial support to the other, and for how long.
Legal Fees: The costs associated with hiring attorneys and other legal expenses.
Online resources
There are numerous online resources available to help you understand the divorce process and its implications:
Motherhood Diaries: Our website provides valuable insights into various aspects of life, including handling major transitions like divorce.
Legal Websites: Websites like LegalZoom and Nolo offer detailed information about the divorce process and legal considerations.
Support Forums: Online forums and support groups can provide community and advice from others who have gone through similar experiences.
Books and workshops
In addition to online resources, books and workshops can provide in-depth knowledge and support:
Books: Look for books on divorce by reputable authors and legal experts. Titles like “The Divorce Handbook” by James T. Friedman and “Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life” by Abigail Trafford can be helpful.
Workshops: Many communities offer workshops on divorce and co-parenting. These can provide valuable information and support from professionals and peers.
Practice mindfulness and meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are effective practices for managing stress and maintaining emotional balance. These techniques encourage you to stay present and focused, reducing the tendency to dwell on past regrets or future worries. Regular mindfulness practice can improve your overall mental health, making you more resilient to the emotional ups and downs of divorce.
Practicing mindfulness and meditation offers numerous benefits, including:
Improved Emotional Regulation: Meditation can enhance your ability to manage emotions, reducing reactivity and promoting calmness.
Better Focus: Mindfulness practices improve concentration and mental clarity.
Enhanced Wellbeing: Regular meditation can increase feelings of happiness and well-being.
Overview of mindfulness practices
Here are some mindfulness practices that can be particularly beneficial during a high conflict divorce:
Mindful Breathing: Focus on your breath, observing each inhale and exhale without judgment. This simple practice can be calming and centring.
Body Scan: Pay attention to different parts of your body, noticing any sensations without trying to change them. This practice helps you become more aware of physical and emotional tension.
Mindful Walking: Walk slowly and deliberately, focusing on the sensations of your feet touching the ground and your surroundings. This practice helps you stay present and grounded.
How meditation can help manage stress
Meditation trains your mind to stay focused and calm, even in stressful situations. By regularly practising meditation, you can:
Decrease Anxiety: Meditation reduces the physiological markers of anxiety, such as heart rate and blood pressure.
Increase Resilience: Regular practice builds mental resilience, helping you bounce back more quickly from setbacks.
Improve Sleep: Meditation can enhance sleep quality by promoting relaxation and reducing the mental chatter that often interferes with sleep.
Techniques and exercises
Here are some basic meditation techniques to get you started:
Mindful Breathing: Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes and take deep breaths, focusing on the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath.
Loving-Kindness Meditation: Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Focus on sending positive thoughts and wishes to yourself, then gradually extend these thoughts to others, including people you have ongoing conflicts with.
Guided Meditation: Use apps like Headspace or Calm, which offer guided meditation sessions that can help you stay focused and relaxed.
Mindfulness exercises for daily practice
Incorporate these mindfulness exercises into your daily routine:
Mindful Eating: Pay full attention to the taste, texture, and smell of your food. Eat slowly and savour each bite.
Mindful Listening: During conversations, focus fully on what the other person is saying without planning your response or getting distracted.
Gratitude Practice: At the end of each day, write down three things you are grateful for. This practice shifts your focus to the positive aspects of your life.
Relevant Studies:
Goyal, M., Singh, S., Sibinga, E.M.S., Gould, N.F., Rowland-Seymour, A., Sharma, R., … & Haythornthwaite, J.A. (2014). Meditation Programs for Psychological Stress and Well-being: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Internal Medicine, 174(3), 357-368.
This meta-analysis supports the efficacy of meditation programs in reducing psychological stress and improving well-being. The study found that meditation can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and pain.
Build a new routine
Establishing a new daily routine can create a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of divorce. Incorporate activities that promote wellbeing, such as exercise, healthy eating, and social interactions. A structured routine helps you stay grounded and focused on the positive aspects of your life.
Importance of routine for stability
A consistent daily routine provides structure and predictability, which can be incredibly comforting during times of upheaval. It helps you:
Maintain Focus: A routine keeps you organised and focused on your daily tasks, reducing overwhelm.
Enhance Productivity: Knowing what to expect each day can improve your efficiency and productivity.
Promote Stability: Routines offer stability and normalcy, helping you feel more in control of your life.
Sample daily schedules
Here are some sample daily schedules to inspire you:
Morning Routine:
Wake up at the same time each day.
Engage in a brief meditation or mindfulness practice.
Have a healthy breakfast.
Plan your tasks for the day.
Afternoon Routine:
Take regular breaks during work or daily activities.
Have a nutritious lunch.
Incorporate physical activity, like a walk or workout.
Evening Routine:
Wind down with a relaxing activity, such as reading or listening to music.
Have dinner at a consistent time.
Reflect on your day and journal any thoughts or goals.
Practice a bedtime routine that promotes good sleep hygiene.
Tips for balancing work, parenting, and self-care
Balancing your responsibilities while taking care of yourself is crucial. Here are some tips:
Prioritise Self-Care: Schedule time for self-care activities, such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define your work hours and personal time to prevent burnout.
Delegate Tasks: Don’t hesitate to ask for help with household chores or childcare to lighten your load.
Plan Ahead: Use planners or digital tools to organise your tasks and ensure you have time for self-care and family activities.
How to adjust routines as needed
Flexibility is key to maintaining a routine that works for you. Here’s how to adjust your routines:
Evaluate Regularly: Periodically assess your routine to see what’s working and what isn’t.
Be Flexible: Be open to making changes as your needs and circumstances evolve.
Stay Consistent: While adjustments are necessary, try to maintain core elements of your routine for stability.
Final thoughts on a high conflict divorce parenting plan
Divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right strategies, you can navigate this transition with resilience and emerge stronger. Embrace your support system, prioritise your physical and emotional health, seek professional guidance, and stay connected with your passions. By focusing on self-care and personal growth, you can transform this difficult period into an opportunity for a fresh start and a brighter future.
FAQ Section
General questions about high conflict divorce
What constitutes a high-conflict divorce?
A high-conflict divorce is characterised by frequent and high-conflict situations between the divorcing parties, often involving issues such as custody, financial disagreements, and personal animosity.
How do you win a high-conflict divorce?
Winning a high-conflict divorce involves securing favourable terms for the custody schedule and child support, financial settlements, and other key issues. It often requires a strong legal strategy, the support of a skilled lawyer, and maintaining a focus on the best interests of any children involved.
What percentage of divorces is high-conflict?
It is estimated that approximately 10-15% of divorces can be classified as high-conflict, involving prolonged and contentious disputes.
What is considered a high-conflict marriage?
A high-conflict marriage is one in which frequent, intense, and unresolved high levels of conflict occur, often leading to a toxic and unsustainable relationship dynamic.
Percentage…what percentage of divorces are high conflict?
Similar to the earlier statistic, around 10-15% of divorces fall into the high-conflict category.
Dealing with high conflict divorce
How to deal with high conflict divorce?
Dealing with a high-conflict divorce requires effective communication strategies, professional guidance, and a focus on emotional resilience. It’s important to seek support from therapists and maintain healthy routines.
How to handle high conflict divorce?
Handling a high-conflict divorce involves setting clear boundaries, documenting interactions, and seeking the support of legal and mental health professionals to navigate the challenges effectively.
Legal and professional guidance
How can a family divorce attorney help someone who is facing a high conflict divorce?
A family divorce attorney can provide crucial legal advice, represent your interests in court, and help negotiate terms that protect your rights and well-being.
How did you succeed in getting sole legal custody in a very high conflict parenting situation?
Succeeding in getting sole legal custody typically involves presenting a compelling case that demonstrates the other parent’s inability to provide a stable and safe environment for the children.
How much does a trial for custody usually cost on average if it’s high conflict?
The cost of a custody trial in a high-conflict divorce can vary widely but often ranges from several thousand to tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the complexity and duration of the case.
Parenting and custody concerns
How do conflicts over parenting play a role in the increasing number of divorce cases in Hong Kong?
High conflict cases over parenting can exacerbate the stress and disagreements that lead to divorce, particularly in high-stakes environments like Hong Kong where cultural and societal expectations can add pressure.
What are some strategies to ensure the safety of children in divorce and custody battles?
Strategies to ensure children’s safety include establishing clear custody arrangements, involving child psychologists, and maintaining open communication about their needs and feelings.
Emotional and practical support
What is the best way to avoid a messy divorce? It seems so silly to waste all your money, time, and resources on lawyers rather than saving for your kids’ future
The best way to avoid a messy divorce is through mediation, open communication through text messages if needs be, and focusing on amicable solutions that prioritise the wellbeing of the children over personal conflicts.
How do stepmoms deal with a high conflict biological mom without losing your mind and your marriage?
Stepmoms can deal with high-conflict biological moms by setting boundaries, seeking support from their spouse, and possibly engaging in family therapy to manage the dynamics.
What are some tips for coping with your parents’ custody battle for kids?
Tips for coping with your high-conflict parents’ custody battle include talking to a trusted adult, seeking counselling, and finding healthy outlets for your emotions, such as hobbies or sports.
Why would an 11-year-old or teenager wish for shared time with a divorced parent where there is high conflict to the point the matter has reached court especially if it might upset the primary carer parent in some way?
An 11-year-old or teenager might wish for shared time to maintain a relationship with both parents, despite the conflict. Parents must address these feelings and involve a therapist if needed.
What’s the best way to survive in a high conflict household until one can get out on their own?
The best way to survive is to seek support, develop coping strategies, and plan for a safe and stable exit when possible.
Is divorce a good idea when you have kids? How did the kids get affected with this?
Divorce can be a good idea if it leads to a healthier environment for the kids. The effects on children vary, but they can be mitigated with proper support and communication.
Is it true good relationships keep us happier and healthier? Does high conflict marriages, for example without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health perhaps worse than getting divorced?
Yes, good relationships contribute to happiness and health, while high-conflict marriages can have detrimental effects on mental and physical well-being, often making divorce a healthier option.
*Collaborative feature post*
Parenting adopted teenagers
Parenting a child is a full-time job and so prospective adoptive parents and their adoptive families must understand their reasons for the adoption of a child at any age. And adolescents and teenagers, although we usually think of them as independent individuals, need lots of attention, too, especially when they’re in the beginning stages of forming new familial bonds.
Below is some advice on parenting adopted teenagers.
Reasons to adopt a teenager
Teens want to feel as if they are part of a family and they will be old enough to understand what that means, rather than younger children who may not always know what’s going on around them. Teens are also old enough to tell you what they’re thinking and feeling, and can also appreciate the smaller things in life, like family dinners and one-to-one attention between mum and teen.
Teenage adoption statistics
AdoptUSkids.org stated that in 2019, over 20,000 young people left foster care without a family and Home for Good found that 39% of children in care are aged 10-15 years and 23% are aged 16 years and over.
Adopted teens need family time
In fact, there’s evidence to show that “family time,” which doesn’t have to be active engagement, but can just include basic activities for teens, might be more important for the teenager years than for younger children. Researchers at the University of Toronto have found that the time kids spend with their parents between the ages of 3 and 11 doesn’t seem to change the likelihood of undesirable outcomes, like drug and alcohol abuse, as well as lower academic performance.
But once children hit 12, just sharing the same room with a child can have a major impact on their emotional and social development. So make sure you know what is required of you to parent a teenager. Can you spend some real time doing a teen-approved activity with them to help them stay on the right path? Can you give your teenager things to do that will keep them motivated and happy?
Build a strong stable environment
Structure is key here. Many older adopted children in their teen years have experienced trauma in their lives. For most, life without a stable, consistent home has been a tenuous affair, and the concept of family can become synonymous with impermanence. It can be just as difficult for teens to adjust to the idea that your home will be permanent because these adopted teenage problems can often cloud logic and understanding.
It’s important to be reliable and have a steady presence around on which they can structure their own lives. Parenting a teen means making plans and sticking to them.
Understand their adolescent to teenage development
For adopted children in their teenage years, brain development might be different because of a previous trauma. Find more information over at Child Welfare Information Gateway here: Understanding Adolescent Development.
Learn about your teen’s history
You’re building a new life with your teen, but don’t hastily discard every element of their previous living situation. If snacks/lunch was always served at 1 pm in their foster home, and they relied on that regularity, maybe you can eat at 1 pm, too.
As a more general point, learn everything you can before adopting teenagers because waiting infants don’t really have a history yet, but adolescents and teens may have spent years in foster care or other institutions, so they will come with teenage challenges. Find out early what medical and psychological issues a waiting teen will need to deal with and then consider whether you can afford to meet those physical and mental health needs.
Adopted teens are still teenagers, undergoing drastic physical and psychological changes. There’s a corollary process of self-definition, or identity formation going on, which can be more difficult for adopted teens. Adoption asks teenagers to define their own place within a family, while the traditional trajectory of growing up and strong biological and social signals, tell them to distance themselves.
Keep communication lines open
Support and communication are crucial throughout this period when teens are experimenting with various lifestyles and asking, “who am I?”, a question that can be even more difficult to answer if you have two families. Raising a teenager should include being open to questions about a child’s biological parents and help them explore their cultural and ethnic traditions where you can.
If your teen expresses a desire to communicate with or seek their birth parents and/or any birth family members, don’t stand in the way of that desire. It’s not “us vs. them.” Adoptions from The Heart are strong advocates of open teen adoption, and they’ve seen hundreds of families strengthened through communication and mutual understanding.
Offer financial support when they go out into the world
Your teen will grow up and want to stand on their own feet, whether that be education or work, so it’s important you provide them with a pedestal from which to jump with confidence. There are many ways to give financial support to your teen. One way is to take out a low-rate private parent loan or to cosign on a student loan with your child. This will help them get a lower interest rate on their loan, and you’re both responsible for the debt if they can’t make payments.
Another option is to set up a savings account, which allows you to save money for them separate from your own account. Whatever option you choose, it’s important to have a nest egg on hand should they need it in an emergency.
Offer logistical support whenever they need it.
There will come a time when your teen will want to flee the adopted nest too. Support them logistically by creating a budget and then figuring out how much money you will need each month to cover expenses, including tuition, preparing for an interview, room and board, and supplies. Next, establish a system for transferring money between your accounts. You can either have them set up a bank account in their name and transfer money electronically, or you can mail them a cheque each month.
Help them find an affordable place to live that is close to home. You should also discuss with them who will be responsible for bills like rent, electricity, and water. Set a clear set of expectations for your roles and responsibilities and theirs too. Providing this kind of support is paramount to ensuring your teen becomes a well-rounded and healthy adult, ready to face the world, even with a difficult history. Safety and security is key for adopted teens, especially.
When considering adoption for teens, it’s important to put in a lot of homework. What do you know about raising a teenager and how will you help them settle into your new family? How can you put their mental health and wellbeing first, as well as consider their personal history so you can accommodate any issues they may face? Making sure you have their best interests at heart will ensure that you can enjoy a happy and healthy parent/teen relationship in the future.
FAQ
What is the process to adopt a teenager internationally?
“[Adopting a teenager internationally] generally takes 1 to 5 years to complete an intercountry adoption. The length and predictability of the process depend on the country, the adoption service provider, and the individual child involved.”
The cost is generally around £10,000 to £15,000 to adopt, but additional charges also apply in international/intercountry adoption, as well as travel and accommodation costs.
What does it feel like to be adopted in your teens?
Which celebrities or public figures have been adopted?
Some famous people who have been adopted are:
Marilyn Monroe
Jamie Foxx
Ray Liotta
Jack Nicholson
John Lennon
Jeff Bezos
Bill Clinton
Steve Jobs
Nelson Mandela
Which countries have the most orphans in need of adoption?
“Asia holds the largest number of orphaned children, at 71 million – India alone is home to 31 million orphans. This is followed by Africa, which harbors 59 million. 3. Each day, 39,000 children are forced from their homes alone because of the death of a parent, family illness or abuse and abandonment.”
What is the name of a person who takes care of orphans?
They can be called a caregiver, child caregiver nurse, a foster carer or a foster parent.
Should disabled people be allowed to adopt children?
Having a disability should not stop you from wanting to adopt a child, as long as you can meet the needs of the children waiting to be adopted.
Why do most foster children run away from their foster homes?
There may be several reasons, some include, isolation, loneliness, abuse and neglect.
*Collaborative feature post*
Simple breastfeeding tips to keep baby feeling full for longer
During each first year of breastfeeding (I have three babies), I had an oversupply of breastmilk, especially foremilk, and it often felt like I was feeding for hours on end. I remember one particular incident when I breastfed my eldest for almost three hours while watching two movies back to back. Two hours later, he was hungry again.
Very first breastfeeding experience after Aron’s birth
If you’re breastfeeding and you feel like a human milk bottle, then let me introduce you to Jacqui Nancey, who is a Registered Midwife, Lactation Consultant and Baby care/Sleep Specialist!
Jacqui has created Nature’s Four Course Beginner Breastfeeding Tips and Tricks, which are simple breastfeeding latching tips to help your nursing baby feel full for longer. As well as teaching mothers how to breastfeed successfully, Jacqui also offers advice on the following:
“How do I satisfy my breastfeeding baby? Why does my 6+ week old keep waking every 45-60 mins after feeding for ages on both breasts, yet he wants to feed again each time I think he is asleep and I try to settle him down in his crib? I am exhausted from feeding him constantly and totally sleep-deprived, yet my baby’s appetite keeps growing every passing day and week.”
Walking robotic mum
This mum’s reality of accruing mental stress, daily sleep deprivation, and psycho-social fatigue, is a major risk factor for:
recurring negative mood swings which could lead to postpartum depression, or even escalate to maternal psychosis should the mother be susceptible to mental health risk factors if not properly supported
slow postnatal recovery, or even morbidity after childbirth
the potential for marital conflict and challenging family dynamics
poor mother and baby parenting skills and emotional attachment…
Does stress affect breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding for new moms can be stressful, but increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol can also reduce overall breast milk supply, and delay the let-down reflex of milk release.
Mental, physical, and emotional stress can also have a negative impact on breastmilk supply and quality, as well as hinder the normal function of your breastfeeding hormones, prolactin, and oxytocin, which are produced by your brain’s hypothalamus. Stress can affect the delicate balance between your milk production, milk release, breast milk supply, and the quality richness of your milk.
Benefits of a stress-free experience when breastfeeding a baby
Breastfeeding is meant to relax the mind, soothe the body, and be a comfortable experience overall for mother and baby.
However, if you are feeling moody, tired, or mentally fatigued, then the actual quality and volume of your breast milk will eventually be compromised, from a creamy baby milk texture to a very light and unsatisfying breast milk quality. You may also find it difficult for your baby to latch-on easily at the start of some feeds throughout the day or night time feeding sessions.
Therefore, the more relaxed nursing mothers are, the better their mood and psycho-social well-being will contribute to the creamy QUALITY density and volume of breastmilk, which increases the chances of breastfeeding success.
Here are some other benefits of breastfeeding:
Being happy has a positive impact on breastmilk supply and quality
Happy hormones in your bloodstream are released into your breastmilk, which can directly contribute to your baby’s sense of relaxation and satisfaction from the creamy density of your milk supply. Plus, the sleep-inducing effect of the natural morphine hormone is found in your HIND-breast milk, so you need to make sure baby is feeding for longer enough to get to that back milk.
Follow a good breastfeeding diet and encourage positive family dynamics
Your breast milk volume plus rich quality in terms of its nutritional value, creamy density and baby satisfaction can be improved and sustained by ensuring you are:
➢ Well rested and psycho-socially at peace with your inner self and home environment
➢ Practically well-supported by your immediate family
➢ You eat and drink nutritional meals, foods and snacks
The following brief will focus on three breastfeeding tips (for first-time mothers especially), to experience relaxed breastfeeding from day one:
1. Soothing Breast-Softening massage
The best mind and body-relaxing pre-feed preparation tools for mums
2. Pain-free baby latching
The latch is extremely important to encourage the baby to suckle and enhance breast milk let-down. Latch also ensures breastfeeding enjoyment, so the milk comes easily. Make sure to wipe the baby’s face gently after each feed to prevent a milk rash forming.
3. Satisfying baby at every feed
Use the four-course breastfeeding tricks to satisfy your breastfeeding baby
1. Breast-softening massage
Always start your day with the side your baby does not naturally seem to prefer. By nursing this way, you will naturally ensure that both breasts have a good supply on both sides of your breasts.
Start the breast-preparation massage to relax, soften and ease the breast skin and ducts into pain-free breastmilk release and nursing
Sit comfortably in a well-supported comfy chair. Have a clean hand towel on your lap, plus a bowl of edible sunflower or olive oil next to you if there are no familial allergies
Half-strip only by taking the blouse and nursing bra off on one side of your chest. Start with the breast that produces the lesser from the two. This is because one breast always seems to have bigger ducts than the other, which explains why most babies naturally prefer the faster-flow breast side than the one with the slower flow or narrower ducts
Use a gentle oil salve and rub some oil in both your palms. Gently salve all over the breast tissue
Place one of your wrists within the crest of your torso – to provide leverage with your open palm for the breast to be massaged. ALWAYS MASSAGE ONE BREAST AT A TIME, as massaging both will leave you soaking in breastmilk from the side your baby would not be suckling on.
With the other palm, use the ball of the palm to gently massage the side of your breast from the arm-pit to the areola five times
After these initial 5X armpit massages, use that same palm as leverage on that side of the breast. Then proceed the same gentle massage 5X with the other palm from crest to the areola
Move one palm to support by cupping the underside of that same breast. Then use the other palm to gently massage – always using the ball of your palm – from the shoulder blade to the areola X5
For the finale, simply use the shoulder blade massaging palm to support the entire top-side of the breast. Then use the other ball of the palm to likewise massage the entire underside of your breast by starting from the rib-cage muscle, breast underside right up to the same breast areola
Best times for your breast massage
You can massage your breast any time you feel full and engorged, i.e. from your 3 am – 11 am feeds, as this is usually the time when your breasts will be full, hard, engorged and probably painful to touch
Soft breast skin and a pliable areola means that it is a lot easier for your hungry baby to suckle from your areola
2. Pain-free baby latching
Pain-free breastfeeding starts with the correct attachment of the baby’s mouth around your areola, instead of the baby’s lips and jaws clamping onto your tender nipple tissue.
A good breast-feeding latch-on means that the soft and massaged breast tissue, makes it a lot easier for your baby to open their mouth much wider around the areola, instead of focussing on the nipple alone.
Babies are clever and will quickly notice when the breast is hard to suckle. They will get frustrated because they will find it difficult to fit a hard and engorged balloon into their mouth, hence why they seem to naturally clamp onto your nipple alone, each time you try to nurse them – with full and hard breast tissue.
Parenting Tip: Baby Gas or Colic Relief
Should your baby suffer from the two tummy discomforts, you could offer them some Woodwards gripe water tonic.
Mix 5mls in 3oz of warm boiled water and offer your baby 1oz 30 mins before the 6/7 am feed, 10/11 am and the 5 pm feeds.
3. Satisfying baby at every feed
The Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach is the easiest way to make sure the baby gets to the rich HIND milk during and after every breastfeeding session. The result is a baby who feeds lustily from start to finish and is satisfied after every feeding session. Thus, they have a full tummy and is happily settled plus sleeping well during the day or night breastfeeding sessions. Otherwise, when the baby keeps waking up for small, frequent and short breastfeeding feeding sessions, this type of commonly adapted breastfeeding approach is known as the:
SNACK breastfeeding method.
SNACK-breastfeeding means that although your baby feeds frequently, their overall appetite is not fully pacified, hence why they keep waking up every 45-60 mins throughout the day or night.
Yet for most healthy six-week-old babies, born at term gestation and with no compromising psycho-social risk factors, you would expect to start sleeping for at least 2-3 plus hour intervals in between their day or night feed, which can result in an ongoing cycle of stress and parental sleep-deprivation, the older their baby gets.
However, the Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach is nature’s way to satisfy your baby’s appetite from day one.
If you have ever expressed breast milk and left it to settle for later use in the fridge, you can see the three stages of your breast milk quality ‘titrate’ or separate themselves into three noticeable layers.
When breastmilk is made by the breast milk-making cells known as the acinar cells, the result is a release and increase of breastmilk supply which comes as a combination of three types of breastmilk densities as follows:
Stage 1 – TOP milk
This is the thirst-quenching feed-starter
Stage 2. MIDDLE milk
This is the semi-skimmed milk appetiser
Stage 3. HIND-milk
This is the toffee-rich super creamy nectar
Significantly, even though ALL breastmilk is nutritious, it seems like it is naturally released in three stages, which naturally changes from Stage 1 to Stage 3, as the feed progresses to pacify your baby’s appetite.
Mothers who use the Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach, find that from start to finish, a typical breastfeeding session would naturally last at least 45 minutes of the active baby nursing, taking burping breaks after every 10 mins when needed.
Stage 1 – TOP milk -Thirst-quenching feed-starter
Have you noticed how most babies wake up in a feeding frenzy? This is because they aree feeling both thirsty and super-hungry at the same time.
So nature designed this initial Stage 1 milk to assuage their thirst first. Stage 1 breast is found at the very base of your milk ducts, located at the front of your breast anatomy/areola. This TOP breast milk is very light in colour, thin in density and often has a chalky-greyish hue.
Although it makes up as much as 60-70% of your entire breast milk supply and is very nutritious, its thin density is NOT very satisfying for babies. Which explains why switching sides at the moment your baby stops nursing, will leave most exclusively fed nursing babies feeling constantly peckish – hence the frequent baby-feeding bouts and very limited sleeping episodes.
Quick Tip – COLIC-Relief baby-burping Massage
Once your baby starts falling asleep on the breast after the first ten minutes of their thirst-quenching initial feed, it is your cue to wake them up gently by applying the COLIC-Relief baby-burping massage.
As soon as you have applied the baby-burping colic-relief massage, your baby will immediately wake up and route for a feed. The baby-burping massage naturally quickens the release of breastfeeding into the stomach, instead of the usual 45+ mins it normally takes for this milk to reach the baby’s stomach from the feeding tube.
The beauty of the colic-relief baby burping massage is that it will keep your baby avidly interested, happy, and awake throughout your entire breastfeeding session from start to finish – hence why it is naturally done in-between each of your baby’s breastfeeding sessions.
Instead of switching sides, you are encouraged to latch your baby onto the same side for this second time.
You will also notice that your baby will not be as frenzied in their suckling as in the initial Stage 1 milk intake. This is because your baby is at least 3/4s full from the Stage 1 milk.
Also, Stage 2 milk is creamier in density than the skimmed density of Stage 1 milk. As seen by its light yellowish colour and it is also more satisfying for the baby’s appetite than Stage 1 milk.
Stage 2 milk is therefore called the semi-skimmed breast milk appetizer, since it’s quality of milk richness falls between the very light Stage 1 milk quality of skimmed milk density and the very rich Stage 3 toffee milk.
It is not only the QUANTITY and VOLUME of breast milk that satisfies baby, but it is the QUALITY and RICHNESS of any given feed that pacifies both your baby’s hunger and feeding urges.
Hence why adapting the Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach, results in your baby starting to calm down after another 8-10 mins of taking the Stage 2 milk.
Usually, your baby’s Stage 2 milk intake will last between 8-10 mins of a medium-slow baby feeding pace, unlike the frenzied rapid feeding, pace witnessed at stage 1.
Towards the end of Stage 2 milk, your baby’s feeding pace will eventually slow down significantly until they get to what we call the intermittent baby feeding pace when you will notice your baby begin to feed in bits of tiny suckles in a drowsy state before literally falling off the breast half asleep.
Medical caution
If your baby is unwell, dehydrated or on any kind of medical fluid balance assessments, then very often the volume aspect of your baby’s feeds will be the priority to follow as per your paediatric advice.
Stage 3 – HIND-milk – Toffee rich super creamy nectar
Have you ever noted how thick and creamy this milk density is!
Every single baby loves this Stage 3 milk quality and though every breastfeeding session has it in different measures throughout any 24hr time frame – you can get most of this Stage 3 milk between the 3 am – 12 pm breastfeeds.
It is generally full fat in density, has a sticky texture and is super-sweet, hence why its called ‘toffee sweet’. It also comes with a natural dose of ‘morphine’ properties that are naturally designed to make your baby have a deep sound sleep after every Four-Course breastfeeding session.
Given the rich density and satisfying quality of this Stage 3 breast milk, this session usually lasts only 5-8 mins in total, before your cherub looks pretty dazed and super sleepy.
This is also your cue to change your baby’s nappy immediately after the burping massage. A soothing and gentle warm water nappy change will immediately wake up your drowsy baby enough to keep them contented and alert, before your Fourth Course breastfeeding finale – which will occur from your second breast.
If you try to feed your baby straight after the aesthetic nappy change, your baby will be reluctant to feed so soon, or simply spit up when fed that soon. Hence the 15-20 min mini-break.
Therefore, settling your baby in a recliner, while you grab a snack, shower, or check on your emails gives you that much-needed break away from the feeling of constantly feeding over the last 30 minutes.
Quick Tip
Settling your baby in a gentle recliner will ease your baby’s digestion for about 15-20 mins
Fourth Course – Change Breastfeeding side
Generally, most babies from age 0-3 months post-partum can only stay awake for 1-hour in-between feeds before falling into a deep 2-3 hour sleep, depending on your breastfeeding technique and family home psycho-social dynamics.
This way we start the 3-stage breastfeeding technique on one side A, to begin with, which normally lasts for 30 minutes. By the end of this 30 minutes on breast A, your baby would be at least 80% full and looking like they are ready to sleep soundly.
After 15-20 mins mother and baby take a break, and your baby will start to get visibly restless, sleepy, and unsettled. This is your baby’s cue to let you know they are now ready to resume the Fourth-course stage of their entire breastfeeding session.
You can now SWITCH sides by offering your baby the now massaged Breast B, because it would be naturally so full and engorged by now. Besides, after taking the rich density of the HIND-milk quality, your baby will naturally need the thirst-quenching milk to wash it.
This final stage will only take 5-10 minutes on the new side before your baby is ready for a good two+ hour’s sleep.
Conclusion
While we understand how draining the reality of exclusive breastfeeding can be for most postnatal mums’ mental and physical faculties, we hope that the practical breastfeeding for newborn support tips shared in this brief will offer you a much easier breastfeeding experience instead of the chronic weariness when trying to satisfy a ‘snack-fed’ baby.
1 week old – My first week as a mum
The first week has been such a daze and it has gone by so quickly. I can’t believe little Aron is already a 1 week old newborn!
I stayed in the hospital for 2 days after Aron was born as I had a caesarean section and needed to recover. I was taken to the maternity recovery ward on the first night where other women were staying with their newborns.
I was bedridden for the first night as I was hooked up to a urine catheter and a drip which drained all the liquid from my caesarean wound. The midwives encouraged some skin-to-skin contact straight away so they placed Aron on my chest and showed me how to encourage him to my breast.
I was still very dazed from previous events, so the fact that I held my one week old son in my arms was an overwhelming experience to say the least. The labour and birth felt like I had accomplished something so great and Aron was my reward.
After several attempts (and quite a lot of patience from the midwives) Aron successfully latched onto my breast and we started bonding.
I was taken aback by the beauty of him and watched him feed. He then slept in my arms before the midwife came to place him back into his cot. The ward that night was so loud – newborn babies were crying constantly and I didn’t manage to get any sleep. Aron was such a good boy though and didn’t cry once. He only got up to feed, and then he would just go back to sleep.
The second night, the midwives took the catheter out so I was able to move around a bit and stretch my legs. I still had to have this annoying drainage device attached to me so I still felt restricted. Hubby and family came to visit and play with the baby who seemed so relaxed after what was such a distressing labour and birth for him too.
A paediatrician also checked Aron over and advised he was recovering very well. The midwife could also tell that I hadn’t slept at all that night and moved me to another ward where there was only one other woman. It didn’t make much of a difference though as the lady snored so loudly and every time the snoring would stop, her baby would wake up and cry loudly. Poor Aron and I didn’t get any sleep again.
I was discharged from hospital on the Tuesday. The midwife checked me and Aron over and gave us a clean bill of health, so that night hubby and I were given the all clear to go home. We were so excited to take Aron home for the first time. It was freezing outside, so we dressed him up in a sleepsuit and snowsuit, hat and gloves and placed him in the car seat. He’s so beautiful, I can’t stop staring at him!
It was such an exciting and daunting time for us. We were now solely responsible for Aron’s wellbeing and were watching him like a hawk to make sure everything was ok. When we got home I fed him and we put him to bed. I just sat there for hours staring at him. I couldn’t believe hubby and I made such a beautiful baby boy! He seemed so relaxed and settled too, considering everything that had happened. Needless to say, hubby and I weren’t quite as relaxed and didn’t sleep at all that night – we were up every hour feeding and changing Aron.
To be honest, all it seems we have been doing this week is feeding Aron and doing constant nappy changes. After 1 week, he has started to have more active periods which is so cute and hubby and I have already noticed certain characteristics which help us to prevent Aron from crying. He is such a good boy though and hardly cries. The midwife came over this week to give Aron the heel prick test. He cried a bit but was otherwise very good and took it like a man.
He gets a lot of hiccups and breastfeeding seems to be the only thing to stop the hiccups. There is one problem though – he gets quite gassy. He had trouble at one point, not being able to burp and poo, but the midwife advised us to buy Infacol* and that seems to have done the trick. He has already passed meconium quite a few times and now his poo is a mustardy colour. I am laughing as I write this.
I can’t believe how much hubby and I have become so obsessed with Aron’s digestive system! Has Aron pooed? What colour is it? Has he peed? Is he hydrated? Am I feeding him well? The midwife did advise me to stop eating acidic foods like orange juice and also to go out and buy Spatone iron supplements* as my haemoglobin levels were quite low, which has made me quite constipated. Honestly, feeding and sleeping in the first week of life is all we’re thinking about at the moment!
I managed to do a bit of catching up on work before I passed out for a few hours while hubby took over a bit. Then it was rinse and repeat!
By the end of this week, hubby and I can safely say that we have learned the following 1 week old milestones:
It doesn’t take long for your breast milk to come in – about two to three days – and they feel uncomfortable, large and sore. However, after 1 week my breasts are going back to normal now so the uncomfortable period is quite short.
My one week old newborn doesn’t like the cold. He doesn’t like his nappy to be dirty and only cries when he’s soiled his nappy. However he also doesn’t like to be changed because that also makes him cold so we have decided that straight after breastfeeding is the best time to change him because he’s so content and drunk from breast milk that he doesn’t care.
Aron is fascinated with my hair because it’s dark and curly.
It is ok for Aron to sleep 3 to 4 hours at a time, but it’s probably best to make sure he only does this once or twice during the day, but only when he’s older, as he’s too young at the moment for a sleep schedule. But it’ll allow us to have a good sleep (by good sleep I mean 4 hours).
Aron can now stretch his legs out in front of him and no longer feels the need to curl up into the foetal position.
Aron brings his legs up to his chest when he is in discomfort or when he’s about to fart or poo.
Aron loves it when I put him over my shoulder after breastfeeding and rub his back until he burps.
About your newborn’s first week of life – 1-week old baby development
Read on for some general guidelines related to development in the first week of life.
1 day old baby
You will be doing a lot of trial and error as you navigate your way with your new baby who will be crying, sleeping and feeding. You may still be at the hospital and so try to ask for help when you need it. Your baby will be able to see as far as your face but their vision will be blurry. They can grab onto your finger if you place it in their palm. Encourage your baby to root for milk as they will be hungry.
2 day old baby
Your newborn will be sleeping for most of the day, only to wake up every few hours to feed. Newborns can’t sleep through the night as they have very small tummies, so it’s normal for them to wake up. Newborns have around 8-12 feeds every 24 hours.
3 day old baby
You should be able to see some interaction from your baby now. When they are alert they will focus on your face and will be drawn to your voice, especially higher-pitched voices. Even if they can’t understand, keep talking to them because not only will they be enjoying it but they’ll be taking everything in like a sponge.
4 day old baby
Your baby will be focusing more and more and becoming more active. Keep talking and interacting with them, using baby noises and funny faces to encourage a smile.
5 day old baby
Your baby will still be sleeping for most of the day and their face may have even changed from when they were born. Keep interacting with your baby, as well as cuddling them a lot. It’s good for them!
6 day old baby
Your baby can only see objects up to 12 inches in front of your face, which is about the same distance from your face to theirs while feeding. At this stage they will hold your gaze for a few seconds. They will still be sleeping for most of the day and you’ll likely feel like a feeding machine because they feed every few hours.
What else to know about your week old baby – Your baby’s development at one week old
Your newborn’s appearance in the first week of life may be different to what you expected but their face will be changing daily. You may not understand all the crying in the first week of life, but slowly you will begin to point out what a hungry cry is as opposed to an annoyed or pain cry. Trust your instincts and give yourself time to learn as you go along.
1 week old development – milestones
1 week old baby milestones include instinctive brain function which means babies know how to breathe, feed, sleep and poo. This is all instinctive as the name suggests so follow your baby’s cues.
1 week old baby food
Your baby should only be drinking milk, either breastmilk or special formula made for newborns. They don’t need anything else at this stage, not even water.
1 week old baby sleep
Your baby will sleep for around 16 to 18 hours a day, waking to feed and then going back to sleep. It’s important to take their cue and allow them to sleep when they want to sleep at this stage.
1 week old baby schedule
It’s difficult to implement a baby schedule at this point as you’re basically following your baby’s cues at this stage. Keep learning from your baby and eventually you will be able to guide them to a loose schedule – but not now, they’re too young!
1 week old baby health and safety
Common health concerns in the first week of life include:
It’s very important to practice safe sleep, which means no items in the cot and no bumpers or loose blankets to restrict or cover baby. Place baby at the end of the bed with feet touching and use a sleepsuit to cover them while they sleep. Keep the room around 18 degrees celsius and make sure the cot’s sides are up.
1 week old baby care basics
After the first week – baby health check-ups include:
Newborn physical examination
Hearing screening test
Heel prick test
Your baby’s weight
Vaccinations
Bonding and communicating in the first week of life
It’s very important to promote bonding, whether that is wearing your baby using a baby carrier/sling, skin-to-skin contact and lots of cuddles. Your baby only needs food, sleep and lots and lots of love. They have only just come out of your womb so keep them close – and, no, you won’t mess them up if they fall asleep on you – just the contrary!
A fun fact – The baby’s main activities at the moment are sucking and chewing on his/her hands.
Read on for more newborn milestones week by week!
Move forward to 2 week old baby
Click above for our journey with Aron at two weeks old and how we got on in the first month.
Some things you can do with baby while they’re awake include:
Dancing with them (make sure to protect their neck!)
Tummy time to strengthen their back, although it will only be for a few minutes
Stretching, baby massage and lots of tickling and sensory touches
Reading to them
Singing to them
What should a baby be doing at 1 week old?
Most of the time they’ll be feeding and sleeping, but you can still interact with them as much as you can. Know their cues when they’re overstimulated, though, or they’ll become fussy babies!
How long should my 1 week old newborn sleep?
Other questions asked were:
How much does 1 week old sleep?
How much should 1 week old sleep?
How long should 1 week old be awake?
Babies sleep throughout the day and can interchange between long periods to much shorter periods. You should let your newborn baby sleep for as long as they need but do note they will wake up every two to three hours which is perfectly normal.
What are the hardest weeks of a newborn?
The first six weeks can be quite stressful because of the lack of sleep for parents and the overwhelm of learning something new every day with your baby. Keep at it because the time flies so fast and, before you know it, they’re 18 and have flown the nest!
How much should a 1 week old feed?
Other questions asked were:
How much does 1 week old eat?
How much should 1 week old eat?
How often should 1 week old eat?
How long should 1 week old nurse?
If you’re breastfeeding, then your baby will know how much to feed, but if you’re formula feeding then you will feed around 2 to 3 ounces (60 to 90 ml) of milk depending on their hunger cues.
Is the first week with a newborn the hardest?
It can be the hardest, especially if you had a tough birth and you’re recovering. Don’t forget you’re also dealing with lochia (the bleed after the birth) and you’ve barely slept. But this period is fleeting and it will get easier as you get used to your new normal and slide into a routine that works for you and your baby.
My baby is 1 week old and constipated. What do I do?
Other questions asked were:
My baby hasn’t pooed for 1 week. Is my one week old constipated?
Why is my 1 week old constipated?
How often should 1 week old poop?
A good baby massage and a warm bath may encourage your baby to open their bowels. Make firm but gentle circular motions from the belly button outwards as your baby is lying down on their back. You can also move their legs backwards and forwards in a ‘bicycle’ motion to help keep things moving.
Why is my one week old red?
Other questions asked were:
Why is my 1 week old baby so red?
Some newborns may have red marks on their skin which may be caused by squeezing through the birth canal. These will heal and disappear after the first two weeks. It’s quite normal for your newborn to develop a rash on their face as they get used to the outside world, but if they have a temperature or the rash looks angry, it’s best to consult your GP to see if it’s nothing to worry about. Better safe than sorry!
Can I take my baby out at 1 week old?
Yes you can and there are no set rules but it’s recommended to keep your baby away from crowded places until they are at least a few months old to allow them to build immunity slowly and to pass the immunisation milestones for added protection.
What do I do with the umbilical cord stump?
Umbilical cord care is very important so as not to get it infected. It’s recommended to just leave well alone until it falls off on its own and wash around it during bath times.
I can’t think of any baby names for my little one. What do I do?
You still have up to 6 weeks to register your baby’s name so there’s still plenty of time to come up with a name. Ask friends and family for help and draw inspiration from places around you. Eventually you’ll come up with a name with which you’ll be happy.
Should 1 week old make eye contact?
Other questions asked were:
What can 1 week baby see?
A baby at one week won’t be making eye contact all the time – this usually happens when they are about six to eight weeks old. But, they will be looking at your face a lot, so keep interacting with them and eventually they will make eye contact with you.
My baby has lost weight. Should I be worried about their birth weight?
Other questions asked were:
I was told that newborn weekly development included a bit of weight loss. Is this true?
My one week old baby has lost weight. Should I be scared?
Weight gain and body shape at one week old changes almost instantly after birth. This is because babies are born with extra fluid so it’s normal for them to lose up to 10% of their birth weight, which they will then regain in weight withing the first two weeks of birth. If they lose more or you’re worried you’re not feeding them enough then it’s important to consult your GP as it may be down to latch if you’re breastfeeding or an issue with their digestive system.
What is the most important item you’ve used during your first week?
Our most important item was the Moses basket as we could move baby around wherever we were stationed.
Can you tell me more about newborn baby and one week old development milestones please?
Please read above for more information on developmental milestones at 1 week old and keep reading the Motherhood Diaries series for more information on your baby as they grow!
*Every baby is different so use the above as only loose guidelines. If you are worried about your baby, please see a healthcare provider ASAP
*Links marked with a ‘*’ are affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission if you click through to buy, at no extra cost to you.
