I honestly thought that baby number 2 would arrive early. Aren’t they supposed to? I’d finished work 6 weeks before my due date just in case I had to give birth in the office assisted by someone I wouldn’t show my face to let alone my lady bits. But as the due date approached there were no signs of anything imminent. In fact, the baby felt like it was well and truly bedded and I was contemplating how it would feel to be pregnant forever.
I never thought I’d need my 40-week midwife appointment. I’d practically guffawed when the midwife had told me to book one. But there I was at the surgery, hauling myself up onto the bed – not a hint of grace or dignity left. The midwife informed me that the baby’s back was now to my right side and his head was only two to three fifths engaged. Two weeks previously the baby had been so perfectly placed! I left the midwife clutching a long list of ways I should and shouldn’t be sitting and moving. I also left with the delightful prospect of a ‘sweep’ at my next appointment and, perhaps after that, an induction. A birth with minimum intervention felt like it was slipping away.
Two days after my due date, it finally felt like things might be on the move. When you’re on child number two you expect to know what you’re doing, but it felt like the first time all over again. Having been pretty comfortable all day, albeit with a bit of back ache, I picked my daughter up from nursery as usual. But as the evening progressed I got less comfortable and couldn’t sit still for long. I don’t remember thinking that it might be the start of it all, just that it was a bit ouchy and time to grind on the birthing ball.
By about 11pm I was getting regular pains and, although I still wasn’t convinced I was in labour, we thought it was time to go and collect my mum and bring her back to the house so that she could look after my 2-year-old daughter should things start to happen in the night. When my mum arrived the birthing ball was getting an awful lot of rotary action.
By the time I went to bed I was downloading a contraction timer app on my phone (and then cursing it when midway through the night I discovered the free version only took a limited number of readings then deleted the whole flipping lot of them!). Whilst I writhed in pain every 7 minutes or so my husband was busily tapping away on his Blackberry sending work emails. And, yes, that really, REALLY irritated me!
At about 5.30am I rang the hospital. I suspected that they’d tell me to wait a bit longer before I came in. I must admit I lied a little bit about how regular my contractions were so that they wouldn’t tell me to stay at home. It worked and at 6am I crept into my mum’s room to tell her that we were off to produce her next grandchild. I then went and kissed my toddler, knowing that the next time I saw her I’d be introducing her to her little brother.
The next bit is where you can all go off and make a drink. Between our 6.30am arrival at the Birth Unit and around 12pm very little happened. When I arrived I was about 4cm dilated but, despite the ongoing contractions, I didn’t dilate any further. The contractions were bad enough to be straight on to the gas and air but they didn’t become any more regular or intense.
At some point during the morning the midwife gave me a sweep to speed things up. She concluded that my waters had already broken. I thought this was plausible as I’d had some dampness (in hindsight probably a wee). It was nothing near the torrent I’d released with my first child but, to be honest, I was so desperate for things to move on that I didn’t admit I suspected that my waters hadn’t broken. Likewise, when the midwife asked whether it felt like I needed to push, I didn’t say “no”, I said “errr, a bit”. Terrible web of lies!
Around midday, the midwives decided that I needed to be transferred to the doctor-led delivery suite and put on a syntocin drip. The thought terrified me. Looking back, I wonder whether my slow progress was linked to the fact that I was so darned scared. The adrenalin had kicked in and undone all the good work of the birth-inducing hormones. Having had a short and straightforward labour with my first child, I was so convinced that this birth would be quicker. I’d hoped a sneeze would do the trick! But when I realised this wasn’t happening the fear took over. Things weren’t going as I’d planned.
Off the midwives went to fetch a trolley so that I could be transferred. My husband and I got my belongings together and we were ready to go. As I sat up on the bed to shuffle onto the trolley there was a “POP” and a gush – there was no doubting that my waters had at last broken!
From that moment on things progressed quickly and I finally started to need to push. But I was still frightened. I remember focusing on the picture on the wall that depicted a table and chair looking out onto a beach and tried to imagine I was there. This didn’t stop me screaming at one point “I CAN’T DO IT!”, which was met by a chorus of “YOU CAN!” from my husband and the midwives. (Apologies to anyone who may have been in the Birth Centre at that point trying to have a quiet and relaxed birth.) I didn’t believe them that the baby was actually coming as the pushing seemed to be going on forever and with nothing to show for it.
But come he did and at 1.30pm (and after three-quarters of a tank of gas and air) my handsome baby boy arrived. The first words he heard may well have been me apologising profusely (again) to the midwives for having done a poo. William was weighed and as the midwife’s finger climbed higher and higher up the weight conversion chart, we realised that I’d squeezed out a 10lb 11oz whopper. Amazingly, I’d avoided any tearing and for this I thank the midwives for their instructions on when to push/not push and my ability to obey them! The midwives were amazing. For one midwife, William was the biggest baby she’d ever delivered and for the other it was the first baby she’d delivered since qualifying. He was special to everyone.
So what did I gain from my birth experience as well a healthy and chubby son? A profound lesson that whilst planning your birth options is necessary, don’t expect things to go exactly to plan. And if they don’t, don’t panic. Wonderful advice in hindsight!
This post is from the UK
K’s story
Labour:
At 40+3, woke up with more of the BHs I’d been having, playing with my timer app on my phone, they weren’t regular but weren’t disappearing either. By lunchtime i was feeling uncomfortable enough to retreat upstairs with food & drink and a towel to sit/lie on (luckily our p-t nanny was here to take over the boys & DH was at home too so kept checking up on me whilst keeping the boys occupied in the garden).
Got to every 10 minutes, still not sure if they were real contractions or Braxton Hicks at this point. Rang Community Midwives just to let them know things were probably kicking off – had a minor wobble as ‘my’ MW wasn’t on and her preferred 2nd choice wasn’t either, eek! Someone rang me back and reassured me about the support I would get from the midwives that were on duty (one had been here for my first HB). Got to 5ish and things were definitely hotting up, had some ctx 5 minutes apart (but not all of them) and was losing some blood which was making me nervous so rang hospital to ask someone to come out (feeling a bit of a fraud & a liar saying I was at 5 minutes but wanted someone to check me over).
MW then got stuck in traffic….
Waters went at 6pm.
Moved downstairs to kitchen, DH sorting the pool out, nanny took boys to watch tv/have a bath/go to bed.
Things really kicking off, all i was capable of was pressing the app button with poor DH watching the times get closer together!!
No sign of MW, he called hospital again who sent out paramedics. MW arrived just before they did, so they stayed (bloke was very discreet and kind of stayed in the background which was appreciated as he wasn’t part of my plan!).
Birth:
She got the G&A out, I got in the pool (she did a VE with me in the pool which wasn’t something i’d considered but was much more pleasant than out), she said well you’re 9ish centimetres when you feel the urge off you go! (previous labours i’ve made it to 5 or 6 centimetres by the first VE so i was surprised). Started pushing, comment from MW ‘the face is out’ (hmm), baby came out, was passed to me between my legs, we had a cuddle & I checked to find out we had a little girl! (we were pretty sure it was going to be a boy). 7.09pm (est labour = 1.5-2hrs!)
Her hb was a little low so cord was cut, and MW sorted her out. I chilled out in the pool for a bit almost in shock at how quick things had gone.
Baby weighed = 9lbs8.5oz. A serious chunk
The Aftermath:
She checked me over and said I had a tear, gave me 2 stitches then decided actually I needed to go into hospital for surgery as the tear was extensive (possibly 4th degree, ended up being defined as 3a).
Paramedics (who had gone) came back, we went in.
The most horrendous exam in the world later, the obstetrics team agreed that I did need surgery, things were not good. Possible fistula (hole between rectal & vaginal passages), poss future anal incontinence, lots of other lovely things discussed.
Surgeon on duty was a breast specialist! so was decided I would wait for colo-rectal surgeon to come on duty the next day. (spent some time pondering…who grows up wanting to be a colo-rectal surgeon?!?!)
Eventually went for a GA at 1pm the next day (they wanted me to have a spinal but i did NOT want to be awake/aware for this!!), had surgery, was not as bad as had been thought, no fistula, one anal sphincter was intact so incontinence should not happen, second sphincter was torn so lots of stitches, and massive swelling & bruising. ouch.
Finally came home on Saturday (had baby Wednesday) and all is healing up nicely (apparently!). Swelling has gone down loads and I’m being a good girl and taking all my meds, laxatives, painkillers, etc.
Conclusion:
Despite the tearing (from baby being face first) I feel so much better than after my c-s and I wouldn’t choose an elective caesarean over another VBAC in the future. Only the briefest of mentions of ‘did you fill out the deviation from protocol forms?’ (I mumbled a yes – though I hadn’t, lol) referred to the previous c-s. After trying to give birth in the water twice before, I recommend it to anyone, it was lovely
Katy
This post is from the UK
Imogen’s birth story
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE – THE TALE OF TWO BIRTHS
Or the birth I thought of and the birth that I had After a miscarriage at 11 weeks with a fifth baby, we sat down to decide whether or not to try again. We weighed up age, risk of abnormality, cost of starting all over again, monetary as well as emotional and decided that we would go ahead and let Nature take its course – if it was meant to be, then it would happen and be all right, if it wasn’t, then it wouldn’t. One month later – I was pregnant. CVS testing showed a healthy (as far as could be ascertained) girl, balancing up the odds in our family.
Now that I knew that the pregnancy appeared to be healthy and fine, I could think about what I wanted from my care and birth. Having had four previous caesareans, I didn’t rate my chances too highly within the NHS. Regardless of the way I gave birth I knew that I didn’t want to spend the whole pregnancy fighting a system that was not geared up to respecting women’s choices and decisions for the pregnancies and births.
So, we made the decision to employ Independent Midwives and I approached Anna, whom I had spoken to when pregnant before. She was happy to take me on and suggested her mother, Mavis, as second midwife. The two worked under the umbrella of Yorkshire Storks, so Chris Warren became a third midwife.
At the booking in visit, we went over everything that had happened with my previous births, but at that time, no explanation could be given as to why the last two babies had decided to go from being very well engaged to oblique during labour. We decided to explore all possibilities and Chris suggested going to see an osteopath in Leeds, to whom she referred all her clients with malpositioned babies. Over subsequent appointments we found that my pelvis and coccyx was fixed on the right hand side – probably due to a skating accident in my teens. Once this was freed up, the sacro-iliac pain I had been putting up with disappeared. Throughout the pregnancy I felt that I carried this baby much better and easier than with previous ones – maybe due to a more mobile pelvis and the abdominal exercises I had been doing as well. My only concern was that I seemed quite small, even though the baby appeared to be doing well.
So it was full steam ahead and planning for the home-birth that I would love to have and hoped to achieve. As I hire out birth pools, I thought it would be rather nice to use one – particularly as it was so close at hand! We put together three birth plans – one for home, one for VBAC in hospital and one for a caesarean birth in hospital. We worked out where to put the birth pool and asked good friends if they would be prepared to step and look after the children at short notice – I wasn’t sure whether or not I would want them there, or even in the house.
My instinctive feeling about when this baby would arrive was based on Lewis taking his GCSE exams. The last one was on 20/6, so I felt that any time after that would be fine. The last 3 babies had all arrived around 38 weeks, so it seemed reasonable to assume that this one would be no different, although anything is possible.
The last week, as I turned 38 weeks, I started to put things together – a carrier bag of items just in case I needed to put an overnight bag together quickly, doubling up on nappies, breast pads, knickers etc. The baby clothes were brought out and hung up and drawers filled with vests and socks I never thought I would see again. Music was put together and essential oils and carrier oil bought, ready to use. We were going away at the weekend, so the plan was that on our return, the pool would be assembled, the conservatory cleared and everything in place ready for my labour and (hopefully) birth. I was looking forward to the slow build up of labour, to being able to use the pool, to the smell of the oils and the calm, peaceful atmosphere I hoped my baby would be born into. I had been listening to a hypnobirthing CD and wanted to use the music during labour to help give me the encouragement and motivation I needed to believe that this time I could actually give birth.
On the Thursday, I felt rather strange and different and wondered if something was starting. I didn’t say anything to Mavis at the ante-natal appointment, because I wasn’t sure and in any case, if this was early labour, it could stop and start and go on for days. As the pregnancy had been different and this baby was sitting in a different position (on my right hand side, instead of on the left where the others all gravitated to), we had no idea as to how this labour would go. We were guessing that first stage might be quicker – I have laboured with all the previous births – but that second stage might take some time, particularly as I’d never done that bit before.
We were planning to go down to Chris’ (my husband) parents, in Warwickshire, for the weekend and meet up with close friends for dinner. If I was still waiting for things to get going in a week’s time, I knew I would regret going, so off we went on the Saturday.
The two of us spent a rather nice Saturday afternoon mooching about Leamington, buying last minute items and treating ourselves to a new digital camera, as our old one was slowly giving up the ghost. I was getting what I thought was strong Braxton Hicks throughout the day and Chris did ask me if I thought these were the real thing. My reply – “If I can walk and talk though them then how can it be labour”. I was used to labour starting with period like contractions, so convinced myself that this was latent labour and could still go on for days and I might as well enjoy myself while I could. Anyway, this just felt niggly and different.
Saturday evening, we made our way to Rugby to see our friends Kevin and Claire, whom we met during ante-natal classes for the last baby (now 5). I was definitely feeling uncomfortable by now, but passed it off as late pregnancy niggles – I was determined to enjoy what looked to be a last weekend before the birth. Whilst we sat and chatted, I felt the need to go to the loo and looked as though I was having a show – a lot more mucus than usual, but still I ignored what was going on.
Halfway through dinner I nipped to the loo again as I felt a bit damp – it looked very much as though my waters had started leaking – a very strange situation to be in – it had never happened before. I could no longer ignore what was going on. Claire asked if everything was OK and I asked for a pad, as it looked as though things were happening. I then went to the dining room and asked Chris if he minded missing pudding as I thought we needed to make a move. He later told me that he though Claire and I had had a falling out! Once he realised that it looked as though this baby was on the way, everything moved quite quickly. We left Kevin and Claire’s house with their good luck wishes and made our way back to his parents’ house. So we set off and on route I rang Anna to let her know what was happening and that we were making our way from Warwickshire to Yorkshire as quickly as possible. I still felt that this could be latent labour and could go on for hours.
We got back to Chris’ parents’ house at about 11.15pm. They were very surprised to see us. It was a hot and sticky night, so they had only just got all the children to stay in bed and go to sleep. When we said we were going home because the baby was on the way, they were equally surprised and concerned and wanted us to leave the children behind. The only problem was that Lewis had another exam on the Monday and it would have been difficult to leave them there and for Chris to try and get back in time to fetch them. So, we got them all out of bed, put them in the car and left by midnight. All the time, I was feeling more uncomfortable, but still sure that this could go on for hours and I would make it back home with no problems. At this point, the contractions (which is what they really were) were coming about every 3 – 5 minutes and lasting about 30 seconds. My only thought was whether I could manage sitting in a car for the next 1 ½ to 2 hours whilst we made our way home.
As we made our way up the M1, the contractions started to become stronger and at 12.30 am I rang Anna to let her know that I was having to really concentrate on what was happening with my body. I was also wishing I was at home and not in the front of the car. She reminded me that we could stop off at Mavis’ house on the way home if we wanted, to get checked and see what was happening. I can remember looking at the clock in the car and timing the gap between contractions – about 2-3 minutes. I was desperate for sleep and found myself dozing in-between them. Each contraction needed effort of concentration to focus on them and I found myself not only breathing and trying to relax, but also singing my way up and down a scale as each one increased in intensity. Fortunately it was a clear road and we didn’t have any hold-ups, apart from when we thought we were behind a police van, which turned out to be an ambulance. All the way up, Chris kept asking if I wouldn’t just like to go to the nearest hospital – no just take me home. I think it would have been grounds for divorce or murder if he had tried to!
At 12.55 am, I rang Anna to let her know this was it and we were heading straight for home, we weren’t going to Mavis – we’d already passed the junction and were going up the M18. Anna said she would phone Mavis and Chris and then be on her way.
We arrived home at about 1.15am. We had done a 2 hour journey in a 1 hour and 15 minutes! By this point I was having massive contractions where my body was doing things I appeared to have no control over – I felt as though I was almost ready to push. All the way through this I kept panicking that the baby had moved and she was in danger and that if she came out vaginally she would be dead. I couldn’t believe that this was a straight-forward labour and everything was going to plan (!) I managed to make it into the front room, having had a massive contraction by the car. I was sure I must have woken the neighbours up (mind you they might have thought it was someone from the pub round the corner!). I settled in a comfortable position on my knees draped over the sofa, relieved to have made it home, whilst Chris got the children out of the car. The older two had stayed awake the whole journey – excited, but more so by the speed we were travelling at – apparently 100 mph at one point. Edward woke up when we got off the motorway and after being reassured that the noise I was making was because the baby was on her way, became as excited as his brothers. Eloise, on the other hand, was a bit frightened by it and needed some comforting. Throughout this, I remained convinced that this baby was not in the right position and that I dared not push too soon until I was sure. Chris kept reassuring me that so long as I could feel this hard knobbly bottom, then she hadn’t moved.
Anna arrived and got to work. She checked round and said she needed to listen into the baby’s heartbeat. She found it – just where she was hoping. After feeling round, she told me that the baby was head down and in the right position – moving down well. We managed to get my trousers off. I never realised how difficult it is to move in this late stage of labour. It took a lot of effort to get in a position to take them off and just as I did I remember saying that I thought I had wet myself – no this was the rest of the waters going. Once they were off and I had managed to get back on my knees, Anna asked to do a VE (the only one I had) and told me that I was fully dilated – she couldn’t find any cervix at all. I suspect that I had been like this for some time as I had been having rather pushy contractions that I was fighting – frightened that the baby was not in the right position. I said so – I told her I was frightened and scared and that I couldn’t do this. Anna told me to put my hand down and feel my baby’s head. She put a mirror on the floor so I could see this little dark haired head appearing and disappearing. She encouraged me – told me that I was going to do this – I was going to have this baby, just as I hoped. I felt then that I could let go and work with these contractions, rather than holding back as I had been doing.
As soon as I did this, I could feel her moving down inside – it was a very strange feeling. I felt determined and focused – in a place I hoped to be. All the thoughts of the birth I hoped to have went out of my mind. I didn’t care whether there was music, oils and warm fluffy towels. I just wanted to help this baby out. There was a sense of excitement in the room, with Chris rubbing my back and me trying to push with each contraction. I kept trying to keep the towels underneath me and moving them round in a nest of some sorts – it wasn’t deliberate, just something I had to do, each time I moved with a contraction. It seemed like a long time, but I had one huge contraction and thought that’s it, this baby is coming out NOW!!! I pushed as hard as I could and she shot out. I remember thinking as I was pushing that any minute now Anna is going to tell me to pant as the head comes through, instead of which she was telling me that my baby was born and I could pick her up. I picked her up in the towels on the floor and gazed at her, completely unbelieving that I had actually just given birth. Anna and Chris were telling me that I had done it, but it just didn’t sink in. Chris tried to shoo the children up to bed, but I shouted him to let them come in and see their new baby sister. It’s a fantastic memory – all those faces looking in awe – they didn’t see the blood or the mess, they just saw a newborn baby.
So much for the planning – the pool never made it into the house, let alone assembled. The aromatherapy oils were still in our bedroom in their boxes. The nice warm fluffy towels I was going to buy, well they’re still in the shop and the music I was going to put together – the CD’s were still by the computer waiting for me to do it and we had to make do with me singing through the contractions! So nothing went the way we hoped and planned, but I still got the home-birth and I still gave birth vaginally. Regrets? I should never have gone to Warwickshire!! Then I could have practised what I preach and used different positions and all the stuff I hoped to instead of trying to find a comfortable position in the front seat of the car – not to be recommended in strong labour! But would I change it? Not a thing. Maybe my labour wouldn’t have progressed as fast if I hadn’t been away from home. Maybe I wouldn’t have coped as well, although I often felt that I wasn’t coping at all. Maybe labour would have stalled and I would have needed that transfer to hospital.
But I still can’t get used to the fact that I managed to labour and give birth, at home, after 4 caesareans – something I was told I would never do.
This post is from the UK
SM’s birth story
Once pregnant this time I was worried that ‘preparing’ too much would lead me to an even deeper disappointment this time around if things went wrong. I found however that as I neared 30 weeks I started wanting to really prepare again. I again did yoga, enrolled in an NCT refresher course, used raspberry leaf tea and capsules and listened to natal hypnotherapy CDs most days from 32 weeks. I also bought a selection of aromatherapy oils that are recommended for various uses in pregnancy and labour.
I did a lot of research into VBAC, the stats, birth stories, what the hospital policies are, what my consultant would support and what my midwife’s views were. I actually found my midwife to be lacking in up-to-date info about the hospital policies and also the fact that all their recommendations are simply that, ‘recommendations’, and that I can choose to say no! Due to her attitude, I went to see my consultant who agreed to write down my birth preferences in my notes and show her support for them. I was lucky to have a very VBAC friendly consultant. I also went to a different midwife clinic for the last couple of visits so as to avoid this particular midwife.
The latent phase of my labour started on Sat eve when I was 39+2. I had contractions on and off between Sat eve and Tue morn. They were always more regular in the eve and overnight and would then tail off in the morning again. I went for some nice brisk walks in this time to try and encourage baby’s head to come down and also to encourage the labour on.
By Tue afternoon the contractions were getting stronger and more regular – about every 15-20 mins. My contractions never did follow a ‘regular’ pattern in the way that the midwives look for. By Tue eve I was struggling to cope with some of the contractions so I asked a friend to come over who had offered her support.
My hubby had tried to massage me but I realised I could not cope with being touched during the contractions so he said he felt a bit redundant after that. We had discussed hiring a doula earlier in the pregnancy but neither of us had really known how we would feel about that or what we would want her to do. Anyway, what I now know I needed and what my friend provided, was basically a female in the room, but also one who had expertise in labour and birth! Having someone there to chat between contractions earlier on and then, later on, be able to tell me how I was doing and what was happening with my contractions. She also supported me with homoeopathy remedies and by giving me ideas on trying different positions and movements to try during and between contractions in order to get the labour moving but also help me cope so I could stay at home as long as possible. This type of support was invaluable and I would certainly recommend having someone with labour and birth experience with you. What I found worked for me changed throughout my labour. In the earlier days, I could just stop what I was doing and breathe through them. Later on, I had to lean forward stood up or on my knees.
By the Tuesday eve, I was kneeling over the ball trying to relax my whole body but this became less effective for me as the contractions intensified and I started to tense up rather than relax. My friend (also a yoga teacher) suggested a walking movement (which she called the Charlie Chaplin walk) that opened my pelvis and made each contraction feel more like a workout. This worked incredibly well for me. Not only did it get my labour progressing much quicker (from 5-10 min apart down to 1-5 min apart) it also enabled me to cope with the intensity. By 10.00pm I was asking to get my son to his grandparents, at 10.30 we called the hospital but they suggested we wait and my contractions actually slowed anyway (this happened every time hospital was mentioned and also whenever my hubby came into the room, basically whenever I lost focus).
At about 1 am I felt lots more pressure with each contraction and decided to head to the hospital so I said goodbye to my friend and got to the hospital at about 2 am. I was still using lavender oil on a cloth to inhale at each contraction, moaning on the out breath and doing the ‘walk’ but the contractions slowed incredibly on arrival. This, however, meant I was very able to assert myself on arrival which I, unfortunately, had to do several times. The midwife on reception said I could not use the pool as I was trying for a VBAC and would need constant monitoring. I informed her that their hospital guidelines said that I could and if they needed to monitor me they could use the telemetric monitor…. to which she replied it was broken. I then informed her that I chose not to be monitored so I could still use the pool. She seemed quite flummoxed that I knew my rights so got another midwife and a registrar to speak to me. Once in a delivery room, I repeated my preferences – no constant monitoring, no cannulisation and keeping active. The registrar asked me to ‘tell her why I thought they recommended monitoring the baby’ in order to prove that I knew what I was declining, I was able to coherently answer as I had done my research and my labour had slowed so much I was barely having contractions. This must be very difficult for a woman in full-blown labour to get across though! I did agree to their admission monitoring (20min) (which I have since found is not routine) but I insisted that I stayed upright and mobile while they did this and I kept the belt pressed to my baby in order to get a ‘good reading’ so that they would then leave me alone. I also had a vaginal examination at this point which showed that I was only 2cm. At this, I was deflated especially as I had wanted to get in the pool but knew it was too early really as it could slow things down. My hubby and I went for a walk and I marched up and down the stairs for half an hour but I just got exhausted.
As a VBAC mum, I knew that the consultants would be clock watching very carefully with me so I made the decision to go home and get some rest and come back in when labour became established again. (What I have since learnt is that your cervix can dilate but then shrink back if presented with fear etc so perhaps I had been further along until arriving at the hospital). Back at home (now 3.45am) I sent hubby to bed and had a rest myself. I woke up after about 30 min to 2 very strong contractions. I ran a bath and the contractions continued irregularly and I tried to cope with them but I was getting an urge to push at the end of every contraction. I remembered how this urge had led to the epidural in my first labour and I started fearing that this labour was going to end in the same way. I got out of the bath and my mucus plug came away intact with a bit of pushing that I was trying not to do. It was now 5 am and I woke hubby and asked to go back to the hospital as I was feeling that I may need some pain relief to stop pushing…. as I was not yet trusting my body.
On arrival at the hospital my contractions continuing strongly I was again given admittance monitoring which I did bouncing on my ball this time and I asked for it to be removed when I could no longer cope with the contractions with it on. I also asked to have a vaginal exam again and found I was still only 4cm. At this point, the midwife said that as I had only reached 7cm last time we would just ‘have to see how I went’, not the resounding positivity I was hoping for! I was again disappointed that I was only 4cm so I was considering starting on gas and air but I decided to start listening to my natal hypnotherapy music again and start the Charlie Chaplin walk again. After 3 strong contractions focusing on the music I went to the toilet, whilst there I could not stop the urge to push again and as there was no midwife to discourage it I allowed my body to do what it wanted and after 3 pushes my waters burst all over the toilet. I had to have help getting back to the room as the contractions were now on top of one another but I still felt in control. I got on the bed on my knees and started to push. The midwife insisted on me stopping and checking me and she found me to be 10cm. She did say that there was a slight lip left so to hold off pushing for 10 more contractions and she gave me some gas and air in order to help me do this, however, I believe I held off for 1 and then just let my body do what it wanted which was push!
My hubby said that around this time the midwife said ‘they won’t let her push for long’. Again what a positive comment! Luckily although I did not hear this I knew it to be true so again I took things into my own hands. After 10 min of pushing on my hands and knees I asked how I was doing, she said she could not see anything yet but that I was doing well. I asked my husband to move the back of the bed up so I could lean over it with my arms to use gravity when pushing. The whole period of pushing for me felt like a very intense aerobic workout, which interestingly is what the natal hypnotherapy cd referred to labour as. This upright position worked really well and after only 25 min of pushing I pushed my little girl out. Just before she was born I told them I wanted her straight to me and they passed her right under my legs and into my hands. The most wonderful feeling in the world!
They cut the cord quicker than I hoped but I was so elated with the birth that I did not want to argue. I breastfed straight away and had some wonderful skin to skin while we waited for the placenta. I had asked for the injection as I thought this a safer option with a section scar but this seemed to make them rush slightly to get the placenta out because of the syntocin speeds up the closing of the cervix. When it did not come with a bit of tugging they eventually got a registrar in who confirmed that it was retained. I had to go into the theatre to have a spinal and have it removed. It adhered to the c section scar tissue which I believe is quite rare.
The retained placenta was unfortunate but it was handled well and calmly once discovered and I still had a good 2 hours of time with my baby and hubby before I had to go to theatre. Overall I felt so proud of my birth and after discussing it with my husband afterwards even more so as we both realised that I had actually done it DESPITE the maternity services rather than because of them. The excellent support and advice I received from my friend in early labour, the confidence my husband had in the knowledge that I had gained with regard to what was necessary and my ability to be very assertive throughout my time in the hospital were what got me my VBAC.
My Son was born by emergency c section. A surprisingly calm experience but one that left me feeling disappointed. I had prepared well for labour using relaxing techniques, raspberry leaf tea, pregnancy yoga, perrineal massage and lots of reading. I hurt my back at 38 weeks and this meant I was a lot less active than I would have liked. Baby’s head was engaged from 32 weeks though so I did not expect there to be any problems.
I had an unsuccessful sweep at 41 weeks and then I was persuaded to be induced at 41+5. I had the prostaglandin gel at 9.30pm and was then monitored lying on my back for an hour. I began getting period pains straight away and then was having contractions by 11pm. At 1pm I asked to be checked as I was struggling to cope (probably because I was all alone in the maternity ward in a small bay trying to stay quiet so as not to disturb the mums and babies in the same ward). I was not even dilating yet so I asked for pethadine to help me sleep. This did not help me sleep just made me woozy.
At 5am I asked to be checked again after spending 4 hours breathing through the contractions while kneeling over the head of my bed. I was 3-4cm and they said they would call hubby and I could go to labour and delivery. Once there I had some gas and air and was monitored again (what is this obsession with monitoring!) I stayed standing though so that I could lean forward on the bed to breathe through my contractions. Once my hubby arrived and they were happy with the monitor results I went into the pool.
Unfortunately (due to baby’s position apparently) I was very slow to progress further and I started getting the urge to push while only 5cm. This resulted in the cervix swelling and slowed things down. I was advised to have an epidural, this resulted in baby’s heart rate dropping and the decision was made that a section should be performed. They did say that I had by this point moved to 7cm but that I was not going to progress any further and baby was in distress. My c section was a calm experience but my baby was wrapped in a blanket with a hat on before I saw him and the epidural top up went too high so I could not feel my arms and struggled to breathe. This meant that I had to wait to go to recovery before I could hold my baby and although they put him on me skin to skin to feed I could not feel any of it. I did however have a very healthy baby boy and I did still bond very easily with my son and breastfed him until he was a year so I am very grateful for that.
This post is from the UK
Early signs of labour – and what to do when you’re in labour
During the last few weeks of pregnancy, you will notice a few changes that could indicate your body is showing signs that labour is weeks or days away. In this article, we will go through the early signs of labour, as well as when to go to the hospital and coping mechanisms that you can try, like massage therapy for labour.
What are the different stages of labour?
Labour can actually be categorised into the three stages of labour. These are:
The Latent phase
The Active phase
The Afterbirth (when the placenta is delivered)
We’ll go through what each of these are in turn.
Latent phase of labour – what does early stages of labour mean?
The latent phase is when your cervix softens and becomes thin so that it can start to open for your baby. This stage can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days and, unless you are considered high risk and your hospital has told you to come in as soon as your pregnancy progresses, they will otherwise advise you to stay home, so you can relax and stay as comfortable as possible so labour can progress more smoothly.
Active stage of labour (also known as established labour)
Active labour usually lasts around four to eight hours and signs and symptoms of active labour is mainly when your contractions become regular, stronger, longer and more painful (from around five minutes apart and lasting 60 seconds), and your cervix is dilated to ten centimetres. This is when you’ll be asked to come in and things can happen a bit quicker at this stage. The baby is born during this stage of labour.
The afterbirth
This stage happens after birth and includes the delivery of the placenta which can happen either through physiological management (i.e. waiting for your placenta to deliver spontaneously) or active management (midwives will inject you in the leg with an ecbolic or contracting drug as your baby’s shoulders are born to speed up the delivery.
What are the early signs of labour? Early indications labour is near
You may experience one, any or all of the following labour pain symptoms, which indicate signs that labour has begun.
Signs you’re going into labour soon – your baby’s head engages into the pelvis
Your baby’s engagement may start at around 2 to 6 weeks before going into labour, but may also not happen until you are in actual labour, especially if this isn’t your first baby.
Early signs labour is near but hasn’t started yet – Braxton Hicks contractions
These painless contractions (which can sometimes become painful towards the end of your pregnancy) means that your uterus is tightening and preparing for labour. The more often and stronger they become the more indication that these are early signs of labour. However sometimes they can be construed as false labour, especially if they’re irregular and sporadic.
Early labour sign – Increased mucus discharge from the vagina
During pregnancy, your cervix is blocked by a thick plug of mucus to prevent any bacteria from entering the uterus. During the latter stages of pregnancy, this mucus plug might be pushed into your vagina which means you notice an increase in vaginal discharge that is either clear, pink or slightly bloody. A show can signal the start of labour but this may also happen for a few days before bringing on labour.
Early labour signs – Weight loss
You may experience slight weight loss, which indicates the early signs of labour. This is down to a reduction of amniotic fluid around the baby and the feeling that the baby has dropped lower (lightening) as their head settles into your pelvis and engages.
Sign of early labour – Spurt of energy: nesting
You may have heard of the term ‘nesting’ before and it refers to you suddenly having a burst of energy and feeling ready to prepare for the baby. You may start preparing meals, set up the nursery, re-pack your hospital bag and spring clean the house. This is known as the ‘nesting instinct’ and is a psychological sign that labour is coming.
Signs and symptoms of early labour – Baby is less active
Your baby is running out of space and so they are starting to prepare for active labour.
The first signs that labour may be starting – Rupture of membranes: your water breaks
Your amniotic sac cushions your baby in the uterus and protects them from any unwanted bacteria from the outside world. One of the early signs of labour approaching is when these membranes rupture, which is another word for your waters breaking. Unlike the movies, your waters don’t have to all come out at once in a massive gush in the middle of the street. Sometimes it can be just a little trickle for a few days.
If you’re unsure, contact your hospital straight away, where doctors can test to see if your water broke or that you’ve leaked urine. If confirmed that your membranes have ruptured then timing is of the essence because your baby is no longer protected by the amniotic sac cushion. The longer your labour takes to start after your water breaks, the more susceptible you and your baby are to developing an infection. If labour does not start after your waters break then you may find that your hospital will stimulate uterine contractions as a way of bringing labour on its own (labour induction).
Below is an infographic which you can print off and place on your fridge or pin to your Pinterest board to remind you of the early signs of labour.
How will you know you are in labour? Know the signs of early labour
Once you have experienced some or all of the signs listed above, you may be wondering, “Am I in labour?” Once confirmed, early contractions will follow shortly after and these contractions feel different to Braxton Hicks. But, if you’re still not sure of the imminent signs of labour, check out below the things you should look for as signs and symptoms of labour:
Regular labour contractions and signs of labour
Labour contractions have a rhythmic quality, with each one gradually building up to a peak and then falling back down. Start timing your contractions from the beginning of one to the beginning of the next contraction.
Labour contractions get stronger
Look for regular patterns that will become progressively more intense and closer together as time goes on. Braxton Hicks contractions will be irregular and won’t get stronger one after the other. Note the length and strength of each contraction to see if they get shorter in length, If they do, then you are heading into active labour.
Labour contractions require concentration
During early labour you may be able to talk through your contractions but as they get stronger, you will be unable to do anything but concentrate on breathing to work through the pain. You won’t be able to have a chat or carry on with your daily duties.
Labour contractions will encourage you to find ways to ease the pain
You will be constantly looking for positions and ways to ease the pain between every contraction, like finding sitting positions, bouncing on a ball and breathing through the pain when doubled over.
Labour contractions are strong enough to require you to rest in between each peak and trough
When labour contractions are coming in thick and fast, all you want to do is find a way to rest – you are tired and you won’t have the energy to do anything else.
Labour contractions may also feature back pain
Especially with back labour, backache often comes on in labour and you will experience constant minor backaches, with regular bouts of stronger back pain.
How to cope when labour begins – A-Z relaxation techniques during early labour
A
Get some fresh air
N
Take a nap
B
Have a bath
O
Observe your contractions and time them.
C
Clean the house
P
Practice different positions for labour
D
Dance to some really fun music
Q
Relaxing in labour is important. Find a way to sit back and relax
E
Do some light exercise
R
Read a book
F
Eat some food
S
Sit and relax/breathing exercises
G
Do some gardening
T
Talk to friends/family
H
Hoover
U
Understand the pain and go with it
I
Invite people over for company
V
Visit your friends/family
J
Do a jigsaw puzzle
W
Watch TV
K
Keep busy
X
Get involved in some X-rated fun with your partner
L
Listen to music
Y
Yoga
M
Mop the floors
Z
Go to the zoo
What to do during early labour? When should you head to the hospital?
During early labour, you will probably feel more comfortable being at home, but as your labour contractions get progressively stronger and begin to settle into a pattern, i.e. lasting 60 seconds or more, then dilation will occur and that’s when you feel like you will need to head to the hospital as soon as possible.
Ask your partner to take you in the car preferably, so you can rest on your hands and knees on the back seat, as this position may be more comfortable for you. As soon as you get to the hospital, head to the admission desk and let your midwives know that you are in labour, as well as the length and strength of each contraction. You will be taken to the labour ward by one of the midwives.
If you are having a home birth then you would need to call the midwife to come to you. If there is a complication or an unlikely event occurring your midwife will let you know when it is necessary to go to the hospital.
Your admission into hospital
When you arrive in the labour ward, your midwife will take basic observations like your blood pressure, urine temperature, pregnancy history and your obstetric history by looking through your maternity notes.
Your midwife will then listen in on the baby’s heartbeat and have a feel for their position in your belly. You may have an internal examination to see if there is any progress with the labour. You can have your partner with you during these observations.
You may also sit in a chair and some hospitals will record a 20 – 30-minute trace on the electronic foetal monitor as part of their admission procedure. There is no research to prove the benefits of routine electronic monitoring in labour, however, once these admission procedures have been completed you will be shown to your labour room where you can try to make yourself comfortable for the rest of your labour and birth.
You may find that sometimes labour can slow down or even stop altogether. This is normal as it’s your body’s natural reaction to the change in environment. Allow some time to adjust to your surroundings, including the staff, and labour will re-establish itself again. If you want, you can always go home again, especially if you are in early labour. The midwife will let you know how dilated you are after an internal examination. There is no need to speed up labour unless your baby is showing clear signs of being distressed.
How long can early stages of labour last?
Unfortunately, it’s like asking how long is a piece of string. Labour will take as long as it takes for your baby to be ready to come out. Each mother is different and each has their own unique way of giving birth. Generally, if this is your first baby, labour will take longer, but again, this isn’t true for everyone.
On average, the first stage of labour can be around 12 to 14 hours and the second stage of labour is from 1 to 2 hours. Labour and birth can obviously take much longer and still be normal as long as you and baby are in good health. It has been shown that subsequent births may have an average length of 6 to 8 hours with the second stage taking around 5 minutes to an hour to complete. Again these are approximate timings and if it takes longer, then as long as you and baby are ok, then allow labour to take its course.
Below is an infographic which shows you the different stages of labour that you can print out and stick to your fridge or pin on your Pinterest board.
How to make labour easier
Generally, your body will work best if it feels safe and secure during labour. Below are some techniques to lower cortisol levels (which has been known to pause or even stop labour) and help your body prepare for labour and birth.
Continuous support
It’s important to have continuous support from partner, friends or family during labour as they can provide you with that much-needed boost when you’re tired and offer you moral support when you feel like you are not getting anywhere during labour. Having suitable support also has shown to shorten labour and reduce the requirement for pain relief.
Find somewhere quite, dark and comfortable to labour
You need to feel safe and secure to labour progressively so ask the hospital staff to alter the conditions in the room so that the lights are dimmed, the door is closed and the bed is positioned so you have more floor space for bean bags, chairs and birthing balls. Remember you don’t have to lie down on the bed during labour. In fact, if you stay as vertical as possible you can actually stimulate labour and the contractions will feel more comfortable
Stay hydrated and fuel your energy
Drink regularly during labour and eat light snacks to provide yourself with enough energy to carry on.
Listen to your instincts
Your instincts should trump here as you are aiming to listen to your body during labour. Stay focused on what you are doing and if you have a certain wish, make sure it is fulfilled. For example, you need to stand up to help with the contractions, so make sure you stand up. Or if you want to rock from side to side then do so. You are the centre of attention and you should respond to any urges if you have them.
Breathe through your contractions
Breathing has been proven to be a very effective way of calming the body down and lowering the cortisol levels. Breathe through each contraction slowly, exhaling for longer and inhaling for less. Focusing on breathing will take your mind off the pain temporarily too. I learned some great breathing techniques during hypnobirthing, which you can find here.
Use massage therapy to help with labour pains symptoms
Massaging can be very effective to calming the body down and speeding up the labour process, as well as direct the pain somewhere else for temporary relief. Below are some techniques that you can ask your partner to do when you are feeling the need for massage therapy:
Head
Massage your scalp and temples lightly with small circles and then stroke your eyebrows and forehead in a straight motion lightly. Do this until you feel the need to change position.
Neck and shoulders
Get your partner to make large and small circles across your neck and shoulders and ask them to push gently down on your shoulders during a contraction.
Arms
Get your partner to rub your arms in circles and make light strokes up and down the inner and outer part of the arms towards your fingers.
Back
During a contraction, your partner can make slow but firm circles to the lower back and place firm pressure with the heal of his hand to help ease the pressure. Get him to make light strokes from the neck to the sacrum and then press lightly between the gaps in your pelvis.
Legs
It might help you to make light quick strokes up and down your thighs and rub gently to increase the circulation in your legs.
Ankles
Rub the inner and outer parts of your ankles and press the heels with the palm of your hands.
Remember – do not use any essential oils during massage as some are not suitable or safe during pregnancy. Stick to vegetable oil if required.
Giving birth – early signs of labour
What to watch for – signs of preterm labour
If before 37 weeks signs of labour have started, this means you are going into preterm labour. One of the biggest signs of labour at 37 weeks is your water breaking, perhaps due to an infection if it is premature. Check for signs of bleeding too. A small pink show may be normal but heavy bleeding is not. Alert your GP ASAP if your waters break during this time or you see bleeding.
Remember that your body knows what to do during birth, so it’s important to trust your instincts and let your body do what it’s meant to do. Sometimes factors like discomfort, stress and less emotional support can complicate labour or prolong it.
Its important to learn how to spot the early signs of labour and do what you can to relax to allow your body to feel comfortable enough to progress. Keep an open mind and prepare for all possibilities. You are only a few short moments away from finally meeting your baby!
FAQ
When do you get early signs of labour?
Other questions asked were:
When does it become labour?
How early can signs of labour start?
See above for how to read the signs of early labour
What do early signs of labour feel like?
Other questions asked were:
What does early signs of labour feel like?
What are the signs that labour is coming soon but hasn’t started yet?
What are the first early signs of labour?
How do you feel 24 hours before labour?
How do you feel days before labour?
How to know early signs of labour?
What are the four early signs of labour?
What are some signs that labour is nearing?
What are 3 signs that labour is approaching?
How to spot early signs of labour?
How to know early stages of labour?
What are early signs of labour pain?
What can be early signs of labour?
Are there any early signs of labour?
What are the symptoms few days before delivery?
What are the symptoms before labour begins?
Are there any weird signs labour is near?
What are the signs of labour at 38 weeks pregnant?
What are the symptoms of labour pain in 9th month?
See above for possible symptoms of early labour.
What are early signs of labour with twins?
Contractions in your uterus every 10 minutes or more often.
Tightening or low, dull backache that may be constant or come and go, but changing positions and other comfort measures don’t ease it.
Menstrual-like cramps or lower abdominal cramping that may feel like gas pains, with or without diarrhea.
https://www.webmd.com/baby/premature-labor-twins
What are the signs that labour is 24 to 48 hours away?
contractions or tightenings.
a “show”, when the plug of mucus from your cervix (entrance to your womb, or uterus) comes away.
backache.
an urge to go to the toilet, which is caused by your baby’s head pressing on your bowel.
What are the signs baby is coming before due date?
“In the days before labour starts, you might notice some subtle signs. It can be hard to tell them apart from your normal pregnancy discomforts. You might notice a change in the discharge from your vagina or a few cramps in your abdomen.You may have a low, dull ache in your back that can come and go.”
Other signs labour could be near is when your bowels open and you may experience diarrhoea or loose stools. This is caused by the release of the prostaglandin hormones which is the body’s way of emptying the bowels to allow the uterus to contract efficiently for birth.
Are headaches an early sign of labour?
You may experience similar period pain symptoms and headaches could be a sign. But if the headaches are severe and accompanied by swollen hands and feet then check with your doctor straight away to eliminate preeclampsia.
Can vomiting be an early sign of labour?
Other questions asked were:
Is vomiting early sign of labour?
“Some women will feel quite nauseous before they go into labour, some women also feel sick during the labour. Women also may Vomit or have diarrhoea before or during labour.”
Period cramps an be a symptom of labour pain in the early stages of pregnancy. You may also experience some lower tummy and/or back pain.
Is constipation early sign of labour?
No, the opposite occurs actually where some women experience loose stools.
Can early stages of labour stop and start?
Other questions asked were:
Can early stages of labour last days?
How long can early signs of labour last?
How long do early signs of labour last?
Yes this is quite normal during the early stages of labour and can last for days. This is why it’s better to stay at home, so you’re relaxed enough to let your body progress before you go to the hospital. Generally when your body believes it is safe, labour will start again.
What are the signs that something is wrong?
If you notice a pink discharge (called bloody show) then this is normal and it could be your mucus plug coming away. But, if you see bright red blood and you’re soaking through a pad, then this is not normal and you should speak to your health care provider straight away so they can inspect where the blood is coming from.
At what weeks can labour start?
Labour can start at anytime after 37 weeks. If it starts before 37 weeks then this is classed as premature labour and you should call your doctor right away.
The birth of your baby is one of the most intimate and precious times of your life. So why would you add a virtual stranger to the mix as an additional birth partner or ‘doula’?
What if you think about it this way? Would travelling to a faraway land seem less daunting if you had the support of a guide who’d been there before? Would stepping into the unknown feel more comfortable if you had someone’s hand to hold? Would running a race be easier going if you had someone to cheer you on? Would listening to a foreign language be more informative if it was interpreted by a translator?
Well, to me – as a trainee doula – these are just a few of the ways I could answer the question that I’m asked at least once a day: ‘what does a doula do?’
What Does a Doula Do?
By hiring a doula to support your labour and birth you are hiring a guide, a comforter, a coach & cheerleader and often a translator. In many instances there’s a lot more involved – massage, meditation and suggestions for positions to labour in to name a few.
Just by being with you and offering a reassuring presence, from the onset of labour until you are settled with your new arrival, can go a long way to allaying many of the concerns that women have: I don’t know who the midwife on duty will be, how will my partner drive me to the birth centre/hospital while I’m having contractions in the back seat, what if I panic, what if he panics, I don’t want to be afraid…?
Of course, in an ideal world and in many traditional societies across the world (and historically in our own) it would be the role of the experienced women of the community to attend to you during your labour and birth; among them your grandmother, mother, aunts and sisters. However, for many reasons that’s rarely the case today.
For many couples, the decision to hire a doula comes from the desire to create a more nurturing and natural environment for their birth. The statistics back this up, for example a study undertaken in 1993 (Mothering the Mother, Klaus et al) showed that having a doula present at birth:
Shortens first-time labour by an average of 2 hours
Decreases the chance of caesarean section by 50%
Decreases the need for pain medication
Helps fathers participate with confidence
Increases success in breastfeeding
Choosing a Doula
Of course each doula will work differently, each bringing a different set of experiences, training and philosophy with them but what unites every doula registered with Doula UK – the non-profit association of doulas in the UK – is the dedication to “enable a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience”.
Of course it’s sensible to look at a doula’s background and qualifications to see that she has the experience that you feel you need to offer the support you are looking for. More importantly, however, it is essential that you check that her approach and personality is in line with yours.
My Philosophy
For me, it is about creating and helping to maintain a safe and relaxed environment for you and your birthing partner (if you have one already) to be yourselves and to be together whilst being fully supported, encouraged and empowered to make the choices that feel right for you and your baby.
I feel that it is my role to act as an advocate and facilitator for the type of birth that you hope for, whilst giving you the strength to be at peace with however things turn out on the day. Coming from a holistic therapy background (massage & reiki), I believe that this requires a holistic approach; that reaches your mind, body & spirit.
It’s about what and how you think…“I know my body is strong enough and wise enough to carry and deliver this baby.” It’s about how you prepare…“I am aware of and have practised natural birthing techniques and have the support I need in place.” And it’s about how you feel…“I am excited and relaxed about bringing new life into the world and know that I have nothing to fear.”
To achieve this, I will do all I can to encourage you to:
Be present – to focus on the here and now, not worrying about the past or the future
Listen to what has heart and meaning – to cut through to what is really important
Speak your truth – to ask for what you need
Be open to the outcome – whatever that might be Broader Context
Before we go back to the original question, let’s put all of this into a wider context. Maternity services across the country are becoming more and more overstretched; it is not unusual for women see a different midwife for each antenatal check and in many cases midwives are attending to more than one labouring woman at any one time. Add to this the distinct possibility of shift changes part way through your labour bringing a new face and personality into the mix and you have a pregnancy and birth full of strangers.
So, why would you add a virtual stranger to the mix as your doula? If you’re still not sure, you might rephrase the question to this: If you had the opportunity to handpick someone to be with you throughout your labour, someone who would be there as support for you and your partner from the first contraction through to after the baby is born, would you?
This post is from the UK
Aidan’s birth story
I had a quiet second pregnancy, the total opposite to my first pregnancy with Aron, who used my insides like a punching bag, 24 hours a day. Aidan was different – he was quiet, like he was sleeping for most of the day, and even some days I would worry, poking and prodding my bump just to get a reaction out of him. So when my due date came and went, I wasn’t at all surprised or concerned. However, the conditions of my birth were going to be different to that of my first pregnancy. Aron’s birth was traumatic and I ended up with an emergency caesarean after his heart rate had dropped to 54 beats per minute during active labour. I had also suffered a small placental abruption after 3 days of back labour, 7 days after Aron’s due date. The result was intense panic attacks for about 6 months after the birth and, as soon as I had felt that life was back to normal, I found out that I was pregnant again with Aidan. I was immediately offered a date for an elective caesarean (C Day) and, unless I went into labour naturally within 9 days post-due date, then I would be back on that operating table and my baby would be yanked out of my belly again. So I willed my relaxed and quiet baby every day from 37 weeks to give me a sign that he was ready to come out.
C Day was fast approaching and I wasn’t anywhere near natural labour – I had experienced some regular tightening, which had started occurring every ten minutes at around 40 weeks, but there was no other sign that labour was imminent. Up until my due date, I had gone to the hospital for regular heart monitoring due to reduced fetal movements – I knew at the back of my mind nothing was wrong because my baby was a quiet baby. He didn’t want to be bothered and he didn’t want to be prodded, but because of previous complications, everything had to be checked. Three days before the said ‘elective’ caesarean I was called in to my pre-clerking appointment where I was hooked up again to a heart monitor. This time Aidan was restless and I saw the consultant umm and ahh at the CTG, pointing to the peaks and troughs of Aidan’s heartbeat. After many, many hours of waiting and pacing the halls of the hospital, the CTG was signed off as acceptable and I was sent to discuss my caesarean with the anaesthetist who would be conducting the epidural and the spinal block. He started talking to me about what would happen during the procedure and I hyperventilated a little inside. Thoughts of my previous birth were flashing before my eyes. Blurred images of medical staff running around my hospital bed, sounding the alarms and rushing into theatre was all I could think about and I felt my blood pressure start to rise. Oh great! They’re going to take my blood pressure and think I have pre-eclampsia. ‘Calm down, calm down!’ I was telling myself. Funnily enough, my blood pressure was recorded as a little high that day…
The day before C Day, uncomfortable and restless, I went to Tesco to do a spot of shopping with my husband and son, and during a brief visit to the toilet, I had a bloody show. I started getting excited – was this it? Am I going into labour, albeit quite slowly as I hadn’t felt any pain yet? As soon as I saw my husband, I told him and he quite calmly told me to call the hospital who had advised me in my pre-clerking appointment to inform them of any progress relating to labour, however large or small. We arrived at the maternity ward for the umpteenth time and had to wait an hour before we were, yet again, hooked up to the CTG. I was contracting every ten minutes but the contractions were not painful. After the CTG we waited for around 6 hours and then we were transferred to the evening ward, where we waited for a further three hours, before being hooked up to the CTG again. I was told in my pre-clerking appointment that I was to have no food 12 hours before my caesarean, which was scheduled for 8am. It was dangerously veering towards that time and I already hadn’t eaten for 6 hours. I sent hubby out to grab me whatever he could and at 12am I managed to stuff myself before taking my tablets in preparation for C Day. It wasn’t until 3.30am that we were seen by a doctor who examined me and told me that my cervix was really far back and there was no way that I was in labour. Any hopes for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) were rapidly vanishing before my eyes. I stayed overnight at the hospital and hardly slept as I was so anxious at the thought of impending surgery and I had no idea what to expect. My last caesarean was such a blur and everything was so rush, rush that all I remembered was being held down by the anaesthetist and my husband to stop me from punching the blue screen down and running out of that room. And now I was voluntarily walking back into that situation!? Was I crazy? You would think that a major operation scheduled for a few hours away would scare my baby out of my body and into my arms, but sadly not… I had no more will left and finally gave in to the fact that I was having this baby the Julius Caesar way.
I must have slept because I woke up at 7am, scared and starving. I stared at my belly, like I was expecting Aidan to knock and tell me he was ready to come out, but nothing. What is it about boys and being statistically “overdue”? I know due dates are only 5% accurate, but it was now 9 days after my due date, and I was impatiently waiting for my fateful operation only a few hours away, yet this baby had no desire to come out. In fact, no pain whatsoever indicated that he was coming anytime soon.
7am turned into 8am, which turned into 9am. I hadn’t felt Aidan move and I was famished. My husband had arrived shortly after 9 and couldn’t believe that I hadn’t been carted off to theatre yet. In fact, no one had come to see me and I was becoming dangerously impatient. At that point a midwife came in and told me there had been a mix up and that I was scheduled to have my caesarean at a hospital an hour away. I really hadn’t expected her to say that and I couldn’t believe that anyone, at this stage, would have the gall to even say it to me. Not only had I waited over 9 hours to be seen after documenting my bloody show, but I hadn’t eaten for over 12 hours, on instruction from the consultant who waltzed in at 3.30am and rather casually told me that I was nowhere near ready to give birth naturally and that, if I wanted to (!), I could stay overnight to prepare for the c section in 5 hours’ time. Hubby was so angry and walked off out of the room, leaving me speechless and wondering what I was going to do next. I was told that I couldn’t even eat otherwise I would have to wait until the next day for my operation. I was told that I needed to pack my things and get ready to leave for a hospital I had never been to before. Hubby came back and told me that he had complained about the whole situation and that he was totally surprised by the lack of communication, at which point a consultant came in and told me that a caesarean had been scheduled for 10.30 (half an hours’ time) and I was to get ready now. I was so confused and so taken aback at these sudden turn of events that I just put on my blue gown in silence and walked to the theatre room quietly, accompanied by a midwife and hubby trawling behind me with all the bags.
The moment I had entered the theatre room, all thoughts of previous events had vanished. The room seemed much, much bigger and the operating table seemed tiny. I glanced over at my name on the whiteboard and noticed ‘Level 3/4’ under my name. I only knew what that meant because I was a Level 1 caesarean last time, i.e. a crash caesarean. I hadn’t noticed any of the high-tech computers before and couldn’t believe how many members of the medical team there were, most of them being women.
The medical staff introduced themselves to me and everyone was perfectly sweet and nice. I noticed music from a radio was playing in the background. I was told to sit down on the bed, so that the anaesthetist could explain the procedure of the epidural to me, which was going to be administered first. I knew the lady was trying to calm me down as she told me to bend over the pillow they gave me and slouch my back. ‘Don’t worry this is the hardest and most painful bit’. Really? The hardest bit is sticking a needle in my back whilst I still have control over my legs and bladder? No, my dear, the hardest bit is getting me to lie back down on that table and willingly allow the surgeon to stick that blue screen up and slice me open. That’s the hardest thing to do, not a needle in my back! But I kept quiet and I breathed in and out deeply and, my goodness, I wasn’t expecting the sting! In hindsight, she was right, it was the most painful bit…
I felt the painkillers work almost instantly as I was guided to lie down on the table and sprayed with cold water all over my body. I wanted to be absolutely sure that the painkillers had numbed my pain senses before they cut me open, so I kept telling them to spray until I couldn’t feel it anymore. I looked over at one of the medical team and told her to, “Please be sure and spray again,” and she had told me that she hadn’t stopped spraying the whole time. They were ready to begin…
The blue screen went up and everyone started shuffling around the table, talking amongst themselves. Someone was holding my hand and talking to me on my right hand side and hubby was given a chair to sit down next to me on the left. He was talking to me about something, I couldn’t remember, I kept staring at him and I suddenly felt cold and tired. The lady on the right holding my hand noticed I was shaking and told me that my blood pressure would start to lower, which was perfectly normal, and inserted something into my drip which woke me up a bit. I kept thinking about coffee. I remember why I thought about coffee in that instance, when the blue screen went up. During my first caesarean, when everything was so crazy around me and I was so scared for mine and Aron’s lives, this man – the anaesthetist – was so fantastic in calming me down that I wanted to send him something afterwards. During the whole traumatic process of Aron’s birth, he kept talking to me about going for a coffee because I hadn’t touched a drop throughout the whole of Aron’s pregnancy. “How does that sound, eh? A nice big cup of coffee after everything, where you can sit with your new baby and drink in peace,” he smiled at me. If he and hubby were not in that room that day, I would have succeeded in knocking that blue screen down and who knows what would have happened then. I will never forget that… So there I was, thinking about coffee, and staring at my husband and this lady talking to me about something to do with cameras and taking pictures. The lady even showed hubby a picture on her camera which prompted him to start taking pictures himself. I had no energy to argue or tell him to not document this situation, but I, somehow, felt quite relaxed and kept thinking about what my baby would look like. The pressure on my belly wasn’t so strong either, not like last time, when I felt the medical staff rearranging my insides. But this time round, I felt some pressure, but not much. What a difference the spinal block makes!
I heard the surgeon say, “Ooh, we woke him up,” and, “He’s a big ‘un,” and asked me if I wanted to see him. Of course I want to see my baby, let me see my baby! They brought the blue screen down for just a moment and this big beautiful dark-skinned baby boy came into view, with this amazing head of dark brown hair.
Such an overwhelming wave of emotion came over me that I don’t believe there are words in the English dictionary to describe it. A mixture of, perhaps, relief, love and pride washed over me instantly and I couldn’t hold back the tears. There are three very memorable moments, which I pin down as the happiest moments in my life – my wedding, having Aron placed in my arms after a traumatic 3 days of labour and birth, and the above picture, seeing Aidan held out in front of me, so relaxed and so, so beautiful. He looked so developed and his skin was perfect, like he’d had a nice scrub before he decided to meet his mum and dad.
Aidan started roaring – not crying – roaring. He was a beautiful beast at 9lbs 7oz and was taken to the room to be cleaned up, weighed and checked over. He was given an APGAR score of 9 and looked fit and healthy.
Aidan was handed over to me and it was the first time in the whole 9 months that I had realised that I was a mother of two baby boys. I married my husband in September 2009 and by March 2012 I was a wife and mother of two boys – within three years!
I handed Aidan over to hubby, so I could wipe away my tears of happiness and hubby proudly cuddled Aidan, taking a mental picture of his beauty and whispering how we were going to give Aidan and his older brother, Aron, the best that we could, even if it meant working day and night. I waited a further twenty minutes to be stitched up and we were then told that we were ready to go. I thanked everyone for taking Aidan out in one piece and for making this procedure a much more relaxed event for hubby and I. Everything was so different to last time for all the right reasons. The midwife, once back at the maternity ward, warned me that there might be some issues breastfeeding for the first time and that I was to encourage skin-to-skin contact for at least half an hour first before trying, so as not to feel dejected if breastfeeding wasn’t successful. Haha! No family member of mine has ever had an issue with eating! As soon as I placed Aidan on my chest, he started rooting for milk and as soon as I was left alone in the ward, he started feeding.
That night, Aidan didn’t leave my chest and I didn’t sleep, even though I was so tired. I kept staring at my new baby and told myself that there would be plenty of time to sleep later. Right now, I wanted to enjoy my beautiful baby boy who gave me such a perfect second birth, even if he was taken out whilst he was asleep.
Aidan Giray Preston, my quiet baby, so strong and content, was born on Thursday 5 April 2012, at 12.01pm and weighed in at a healthy 9lb 7oz. Aidan, you have not only made hubby and I the happiest people in the world, but Aron has never been so proud to be your older brother. You have given him a friend for life. Welcome to our family!
I was 15 days late and really sick of people asking if I was going to get induced so I decided to take things into my own hands by having a long walk, spicy food, raspberry leaf tea and then sitting on my gym ball whilst watching “My fair lady” and bouncing in the hope something would happen….. and it did!!!
I went to bed at 1 am ish, went to lay down there was a gush and my waters broke, I was so grateful at that point that my partner had fitted the en-suite and I didn’t have to run downstairs as it would have gone everywhere…luckily most went into the toilet!! At this point I rang Viv but it was a little early, or so I thought, so she said to call when things had progressed a little more.
I then went for a bath and it filled with all this green liquid, which made me panic a little as I had heard all this stuff about the meconium so Andrew called Viv and she decided to come and check, this is when the whole thing starts to get a bit confused for me as the contractions started and as a coping mechanism I went very quiet (unlike my usual self!!) and internalised the pain so I could concentrate on the breathing I had practised, almost daily with a Yoga exercise CD. A lot of pushing started on the loo and eventually moved to the birthing pool and my contractions were coming pretty quickly, enough to make me think it wouldn’t be long before I’d be in the 2nd stage…..how very wrong I was!!!
I was in the pool for ages and Viv and Andrew and eventually Mirijn, when she arrived later were an amazing support, I really felt like I needed to hold on to someone and not feel completely alone with the pain – I had no idea, and I suppose no one does until your there how unbelievable this pain was, I just know it closed down my communication with the outside world, except for squeezing a hand, shoulder – whatever I could grab of someone else. Viv and Mirijin kept topping up the pool with hot water as I was in there for ages, thinking things were progressing but now I know they weren’t really, so Viv suggested that I go back to the bathroom and again, it all blurs into one as I was in and out that bathroom, lounge and bedroom. I can’t remember how many times I was in each or when…
I did find all sorts of ways of breathing through contraction by leaning on the piano, radiator, sitting on the edge of the bath, using the shower as pain relief from the waist down. Viv smiled at me and gave me such encouragement, even when I was tired she brought me pillows and I went to sleep, mid contractions whilst sitting on the loo!!! The hours were passing and it must have been late afternoon of the next day when Viv concluded that I was only 5cm, I was quite confused by this as I think I thought to start pushing but I still had another 5cm to go! It was at this point that Viv and Mirijin suggested I come into the lounge and Andrew help me do some squats whilst supporting me from a chair, it was a little like doing my yoga class once again, but I had envisioned an Active birth and here it was! I never wanted to eat during all this time but I did have the lucozade glucose sweets and little sips of water, I couldn’t actually face anything else. I also used the TENS machine and wasn’t sure it was doing any good until it was removed, as I got it wet and then I realised how much good it was doing and asked for it to be put back on ASAP.
It was then approaching early eve and I had started to push but was finding it really hard one of the main things being that I was utterly exhausted, it was around this point that I asked for a couple of paracetamol. All I remember thinking is “I wish I was one of the midwifes or Andrew drinking tea and feeling normal and not going through this pain!” But I was determined for a home birth as I had planned and in my mind thought of it as a super marathon that I was going to finish! I was flagging though and Viv said that things had slowed down and that they needed them to progress or I may have to consider a transfer to hospital, which I really didn’t want but at the same time I did want an end to the pain and also to remember why I was doing all of this – to have a baby!!
I asked if I could have a rest and so I went upstairs, walking sideward’s up the stairs as the head was fairly low down. However when I got upstairs I decided to go for another round of pushes and Viv and Mirijin suggested some more interesting positions in order to give more space in the pelvis and get that babies head moving down, unfortunately it wasn’t happening and again it was suggested that because my 2nd stage was now approaching it’s 5/6th hour that I should consider the hospital and an assisted delivery, but I really didn’t want to go, I dreaded not being with the people that had helped me so far and the bright lights, clinical atmosphere! I was so lucky that Ted’s heartbeat remained strong throughout or I would have been at hospital sooner!
After this attempt things were still not progressing, where I got the energy from to continue I will never know! I then decided that I did want a little sleep and so me and Andrew got into our bed and I prayed, Andrew told me he did too and being religious and spiritual I really believed that someone helped me as I have no idea after 24 hours how else I could have done it…… Whilst I was lying down my body started to have contractions of its own, without me forcing or controlling them, they started to increase and Mirijin, who had sat on the stairs listening to me as I slept would come in and see what was going on, sooth me with kind words and then cover me again and go back to the stairs when the contraction had finished.
After about 10 mins the contractions came thick and fast and so I decided before the hospital route was seriously considered I would try again, Viv came upstairs at this point and both midwifes then guided me once again through different positions with results finally happening, the head was moving down and I could feel it! I did some more squats, pushes on the toilet, squats with Mirijin and Andrew holding me up from the side of the bed and when I saw Viv setting up the birthing equipment I felt that this is it, it’s happening!! It gave me the encouragement I needed and my body then pushed out the top of the head. Wow, the crowning part as far as pain goes is beyond it all!! I was put into the Roberts position and out came the TED! He was a little stressed from the time it took and did need a bit of resuscitation, not much and there he was a beautiful baby boy weighting 8lbs 13 ounces……… It was so nice to be at home and if it wasn’t for the amazing support and belief I had from Viv , Mirijin and Andrew I would never have been able to do this and I would have been so disappointed as I had set my heart on a natural birth with no stitches and that’s what I got!!!
I never thought about after the birth as I was so worried about the birth itself which lasted 25 hours but dealing with some of the challenges in the weeks after was the real test and thank goodness Viv and Mirijin were there to help me. Breastfeeding I think was one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever faced, it was so painful, in the early days and once the babymoon period had worn off and I wondered why I was putting myself through something that hurt so much, but both of them were there to support me and show new ways of doing it and generally offering comforting words, encouragement and positivity about it without being pushy. I really didn’t feel very well in those first few weeks after the birth but because of the relationship I had with both Viv and Mirjin I turned to them as the experts because they helped me achieve the natural birth I wanted. Therefore I trusted them both with all the aftercare and my goodness was it needed, I couldn’t walk for a week I’d tired myself so much with all the different squats and positions I was in during labour!!!
I actually have to remind myself what a fantastic achievement the whole experience was as not many women manage to have a natural birth first time round and avoid stitches and then still manage to continue breastfeeding as I am now, over two months later, (Visiting the baby clinic the other day and meeting other mums was proof of this and many of them said that they unfortunately were not shown the correct way of feeding or given the choice of how the birth would take place). So paying to have Viv and Mirijin as my midwifes was worth every penny!!!
