What should you do about your problems in marriage?
Emotional intimacy is abundant at the start of a relationship, so one can assume it will always be there. But many couples find their emotional intimacy starts to diminish after some time, especially after kids, and it can become a struggle to bring it back.
A relationship can be hard work to maintain, and once one party decides they don’t want to put in the work anymore, the cracks start to appear. Without hard work and commitment from both of you, your relationship may start to slip away.
Common marriage problems can escalate quickly which may lead to considering leaving, which can be one of the toughest decisions you will ever make. But focussing your attention on keeping the intimacy alive first ensures you have done everything in your power to keep your marriage alive. So what should you do about your problems in marriage?
Check out some tips below on how to keep your marriage alive.
Communicate
If you and your partner’s dinner conversations are filled with pregnant pauses, your workday can be described in a terse sentence, your mind is filled with financial worries, or maybe your attention is focused solely on the kids, then your marriage may have problems. This is known as ‘parallel lives’ – avoiding conversation, side-stepping intimacy, not doing things together and a general feeling of awkwardness, where before you were in complete harmony.
When the sum total of your intimacy comes down to physical intimacy in the bedroom, then it’s time to start focussing on emotional intimacy away from the bed too. A healthy sex life is in no way a bad thing, but when it comes at the expense of real communication, you might run into problems.
Make the time to talk to one another about your feelings and learn to listen. Notice we said make and not take because this is something for which you need to create space in your life. It’s instinctual to want to react, reflect your thoughts and feelings, or offer a solution, but focussing on listening will provide a bigger impact on a mutual conversation.
Be affectionate towards each other
When your normal affection patterns – the kiss as you leave for work, the hug when you get home, physical intimacy or sexual activity – have seemingly disappeared, then there may be a problem. This kind of behaviour signifies ‘disconnection’. Of course, it could be just temporary and there may be good reasons (maybe the kids have zapped all life from the both of you), but if it has been happening for some time, then it’s more likely to be a committed relationship problem.
One of the easiest ways to increase your emotional intimacy is to increase your physical intimacy. If your bedroom antics have become a little more than routine of late, it could be time to think about shaking things up.
Unleash your kinky side and see what you can dredge up from your imagination. When you let go of your inhibitions and allow yourself to be vulnerable around your partner, you reveal a side of yourself that would normally be concealed. When you’re in a relationship where you feel confident sharing this vulnerability, you know you’re in a good place.
Show appreciation
Gratitude and appreciation help to nurture a more loving relationship. But appreciation is about more than giving gifts or saying thank you, it’s about recognising the things your partner does for you of which you may take for granted. It’s easy to forget you both play a role in keeping the household running, and each party will often focus on how much work they are taking on and forget their partner’s contribution.
Taking out the bins at night is a small task, but when one partner does it without being asked to do it, it ticks one thing off the household to-do list and lightens the load for both of you. Take a moment to appreciate the small things your partner does and practice gratitude for their presence.
Is it worth sweating the small stuff?
You may have never noticed it before now, but he’s always on his phone or he leaves his empty coffee mug on the edge of the sink. And he doesn’t look at you when you speak. You argue all the time about silly things and regardless of what you say it always ends badly. You feel disconnected and you blame him for why the relationship isn’t working.
When events and emotions start to overwhelm you, rather than reacting, try to take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture. Then decide on your course of action, knowing that you’re always free to change your mind if you must.
Spend quality time together
Couples fall into the habit of assuming that any time spent together is enough. While those evenings spent in front of the TV binge-watching the latest true-crime series are no doubt special, you need to create space in your life for quality time. This might mean taking a weekend away, or it could be as simple as a long walk on a Sunday afternoon. When you start to spend quality time together, you create new memories, and this is vital for emotional intimacy.
Reminisce
Looking back over old photos and heading down memory lane is an excellent way to boost your intimacy. By looking fondly at a time when emotional intimacy was free-flowing and taken for granted, you can reconnect with those emotions and remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.
It’s a common problem that many couples these days only have these photos on their phones, so it’s harder to connect with them on an emotional level. Try getting your favourite photos printed and creating a memory book together so you can reminisce while creating something you can return to time after time.
Try something new
Getting out of your comfort zone is a great way to create new memories. This could mean exploring each other’s hobbies to find out more about the person with whom you’re spending your life with every day. Or it could mean trying something you’ve never done before.
You might not enjoy skydiving, rock climbing or horse riding, but at least you’ll have a fun memory that you share with your partner that might bring a smile to your faces years down the line.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable
Perhaps you’re busy, or stressed, or feeling drained. This is normal in the modern world, but these feelings can also make you more guarded in your personal life. You might feel that if you let your guard down at home, you’ll be more emotional and less effective at work.
Being vulnerable at home shows your partner you trust them completely. A key part of emotional intimacy is letting your guard down and sharing your thoughts with your partner, even if this might make you more vulnerable than you want to feel.
Hire help
Sometimes working on your relationship means giving yourself permission to pass off some of the tasks you would rather avoid doing. If housework is zapping your time and attention, you could find a way to outsource cleaning to someone else. And if childcare is the source of strain in your relationship, consider asking for help from those around you.
When you pass off these tasks, even if it is only once per month, you can direct more of your attention to your partner and focus on your relationship. Hiring help around the house or childcare support could be just the thing your relationship is looking for.
Go to therapy
You don’t have to manage this all alone. Therapy isn’t a sign that your relationship is broken, it’s a sign that you’re willing to work on it. Therapy can give you the tools you need to explore your relationship and practice things like gratitude and communication while exploring your intimate connection. A therapist might offer some outsider’s insight that you have previously overlooked.
Do you have fantasies of leaving the relationship?
If you feel trapped, it’s tempting to think about a new life, in a new flat and/or in a new relationship. If these fantasies are occurring on a regular basis, and in greater detail, this may well be your subconscious telling you it’s time to get out or that something is missing in your marriage.
Separation and divorce are certainly not easy and many couples choose to stay in unfulfilling or unhealthy marriages, even though they know in their heart of hearts that they should leave.
Couples often invent reasons to justify remaining in the relationship. In their state of confusion, they stay in the marriage and wait for something dramatic to happen that might finally push them into facing up to reality.
Should you stay?
It may make for a grim conclusion but if any or all the above apply to your marriage, you need to decide whether you should stay or go.
Your decision-making process can range from minor concern to ever-increasing anxiety, and if, after you’ve made the decision to leave, you’re standing there with your bags packed, ready to go, and other competing voices begin to take hold, it’s important that you listen to them very carefully.
Slow down and try to work out exactly how you really feel and what you are or are not willing to do. Don’t think that listening to these voices is, in some way, cowardly, or that second thoughts are a sign of weakness. Rather, consider the two sides of the argument and pay attention to which of these is stronger.
If a part of you is saying, hang on, there’s more that both of us could do to save our marriage and you believe it could be fixed, then take your time and give this more serious thought. if you have kids then you owe it to them to try everything you can first. Sometimes in the heat of it all when you finally realise you’re going to lose your partner, your overriding feelings may be what saves you from making the wrong decision. So listen to them.
Talk to your solicitor about the benefits of a clean break divorce. ‘Clean break’ divorce orders cut the financial ties between you and your partner. Whilst a divorce ends a marriage, it doesn’t necessarily finalise the money side of a relationship. Unless an agreement known as a Consent Order and a Clean Break Order is issued by the courts, your ex-spouse could claim a portion of your income, assets, pensions, or property anytime in the future.
It’s a tough place you’re in and the decision you finally make will be a life-changing one for all concerned. But if you know in your heart that it’s the right way to go, then proceed with confidence, knowing that your life will be better for it in the long run. But if you want to stay and work on the marriage, then start working on your emotional intimacy now as it is a vital part of any relationship. Without it, you could be left feeling more adrift and alone than if you were single. Prioritising this abstract part of your relationship is a worthy task and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. So make sure you’ve exhausted all options before you take the plunge.
*Collaborative feature post*
What to expect when fostering a child
Fostering provides a child in need of a temporary home a family, which can really make a difference in their lives. If you believe you have what it takes to become a foster parent, read on for some common FAQs to learn about fostering to help you come to a decision on whether foster parenting is the right choice for your family.
How will my children be affected?
Of course, children can be affected by your choice to foster, meaning it is something the whole family should agree on. Depending on the age of your child, it may be harder for them to understand and if they do connect with the foster child, it can be hard on them when the child leaves. Some foster carers end up adopting their foster children, so if you are looking to foster with the open mind of expanding your family, this is also a discussion to have with your kids.
There are charities and fostering service groups out there to help children come to terms with foster children living with them and parting ways. Some children may be resistant, but you could see a massive change of heart once they discover and understand they have a new friend to play with.
Will I be supported?
As a foster carer, you will be supported both emotionally and financially. Finding a great foster care service will ensure you the emotional and practical support network you need when introducing a new child to your family home. Agencies such as Calon Cymru Fostering, who provide foster care Cardiff, will ensure that foster carers receive specialist training and development. They employ friendly social worker staff who are passionate about children and offer the right support for carers. Most foster care agencies also provide enough money for all needs of the child and you may be offered an extra incentive for your time, support and expertise.
What do I need in my home?
If this is your first foster application, there are a few things you need for fostering placements in your home to be approved by a foster care agency. Foster families need to have a spare room, so the foster child has their own private space. The exception to this rule is babies, who can share a room with you. You can foster with a family pet, but they need to be assessed and child friendly. Smoking can be an issue, especially if you smoke in the home. Foster care agencies may offer stop-smoking support – although smoking doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot foster, your home must be smoke-free. This is something to discuss with an agency before going further.
Do I need any qualifications?
Foster parents do not need any special qualifications to be a foster carer, just a good heart and the ability to care for children as children need a good stable family in which to grow and develop. As stated earlier, foster care agencies will offer any training and development you need or want to undertake to help you in your new role. Even if you haven’t had your own children, this doesn’t stop you from fostering if you have a relevant background in working with children or caring for other children in your own family.
There are many reasons why people may choose to foster a baby or a child and even if you are a single parent and/or by yourself, the choice should still lie with the whole family. New foster parents will find that becoming a foster parent is a really special role and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly, which is why foster parents quit before they’ve given it a real shot. If you want to go further, speak to a local fostering agency for more support and advice.
How to help your retiree parents declutter their home
Once all their little ones have flown the nest, your parents may be wondering what to do with all the extra space in your childhood home now that it’s empty. Decluttering and downsizing for seniors can be a significant nuisance—heating and cooling the home, shovelling the driveway, and mowing the lawn. These obligations can become more burdensome as your parents near their golden years.
While letting go of the home you all built lasting memories in with the family is extremely hard to do, decluttering and downsizing might be the right choice to ensure your parents can spend their sunset years how they planned. With less maintenance to worry about, a smaller home can give them more time and energy to divert elsewhere, whether it’s travelling the world or playing a round of golf. To get started, let’s look at the four important points below to consider when helping your parents declutter and downsize as retirees.
1. How much they can afford
Just because they’re moving into a smaller home doesn’t mean it’s necessarily cheaper. A smaller home that’s brand-new or in an expensive area can be much more expensive than their current home. Before they downsize, have they determined how much they can afford, especially since their cash flow will shift dramatically once they enter retirement and they are no longer working full-time?
As they begin their decluttering and downsizing adventure, work with a local realtor and accountant to help them find the perfect property and balance their finances. Your/their accountant can help them determine what financing option is best for them, such as a conventional mortgage or a VA loan program if they were a member of the armed forces.
2. Location
Location, location, location—the three words real estate agents live by. As they near retirement and plan to downsize, they now have the opportunity to plant their roots somewhere else. This is a great opportunity to finally make their dreams come true, whether living by the beach, in the country, or in a vibrant city.
One thing to keep in mind when looking for a new place to live during retirement is their support and care system. While they might be tempted to move from the frigid Northeast to the warm shores of Florida, think about who will be there for them if they ever need help. Having family around is always important, especially as they age, so keep them closeby in mind as you help them plan their move.
3. Current real estate market
They’re most likely not thinking about what the real estate market will be like in the next 25 to 30 years during retirement. However, because real estate is an expensive investment, it’s important to keep the real estate market in mind, especially if they plan to downsize again when they reach an older age, such as 85 or 90. And if they’re leaving behind their property to any beneficiaries in their will, they’ll want to choose an investment that will benefit their family, too.
Some factors to keep in mind when they’re downsizing during retirement include:
Home values in the neighbourhood they’re looking at
Number of active listings in the area
Current interest rates
Local housing market trends
By analyzing the current real estate market in the area they’re looking, they’ll be able to get a better understanding of whether they’re making the right decision.
4. Declutter their belongings
Their house isn’t the only thing they should be downsizing during retirement. By moving into a new home, they’re going to have much less space than they’re used to. While they might feel compelled to keep every little thing they’ve collected over the years, now’s a great time to cherish those memories, accept them for what they were, and move on.
Clearing out trip hazards like scatter rugs, loose cords, and cluttered walkways can go a long way in preventing falls — but it’s just as important to have a backup plan if one does happen. The CDC reports that 1 in 3 seniors will fall at home each year, so having a way to get help fast is essential. For Canadian families, looking into a medical care alert canada system can bring real peace of mind, knowing that support is just a button press away — even when loved ones can’t be there in person during the big declutter or downsizing phase.
Once they find their new home to live in during retirement, get accurate measurements of each room. This way, you can help them determine what furniture will fit, and what furniture might swallow a room up. For any furniture they no longer need, you can help them host a yard sell, or sell online through an online marketplace.
Wrapping up
Your parents’ golden years are meant to be stress-free and relaxing. The last thing you want is a large house all your parents live alone in that requires tons of maintenance. By decluttering downsizing, your parents can consolidate their belongings and live in a smaller home with easier upkeep. But before they do so, make sure they take these four considerations into mind when downsizing as a retiree.
How have you helped your parents declutter and downsize? Pop a comment in the box below and share your tips with us!
*Collaborative feature post.*
Myopia in Children – How to spot if your child is short-sighted
Is your child running into a wall or squinting at objects further away from them? Then there may be a chance your child needs to have their eyes checked.
Myopia is a very common condition in children, and when diagnosed in time, it can be corrected with glasses in most cases. However, depending on the reason behind your child’s myopic condition, advanced treatments such as surgery might be required.
In this article, we’ll break down what myopia in children means and how to spot if your child is short-sighted and needs to visit the optician to correct their vision.
But, first.
What is myopia?
Myopia, otherwise known as short-sightedness is a very common cause of impaired vision where you will struggle to see distant objects clearly. But the closer the object is to you, the clearer your vision becomes. That’s why very short-sighted people (like my dad) tend to take off their glasses to look at microscopic objects very close to them, but need their glasses to talk to the person in front of them.
What are the symptoms of myopia?
To make the first step you will need to spot there’s an issue in your child’s vision, however, you should aim to get them to the optician as quickly as possible for an eye test to checks for signs of a refractive error, which is the most common cause behind myopia, as well as other eye conditions, like hyperopia, blurry, distorted vision, and presbyopia.
What causes myopia?
Myopia typically begins in childhood and occurs when the eyeballs are elongated, which causes the to light rays focus at a point in front of the retina rather than directly onto the surface of the eye. Myopia can also occur when the cornea and/or lens is too curved for its eyeball length. Children are more likely to be short-sighted if their parents are too, but will in most cases stabilises once they hit early adulthood.
Signs to look out for in children who may be short-sighted
To spot whether your child might have myopia, watch out for the following signs.
Squinting
Squinting is an assured sign of myopia if your child is doing frequently and especially while he/she is trying to focus on something that is at a distance. Teachers should be able to notice whether your child is struggling to see the board properly, so ask your child’s teacher to find out whether there have been any issues with squinting. If you see your child squinting or your teacher has noticed your child is struggling to see the board, make an appointment with the optician straight away.
Milky Eyes
If your infant child has milky or cloudy eyes without an eye infection, it is almost an assured fact that he/she is a victim of birth cataracts or congenital cataracts. The condition is rare, but not completely unlikely either. If a cataract is indeed the reason behind his/her myopia, your child will need cataract surgery as soon as possible. Without timely surgery, their vision just won’t be able to develop properly, due to the absence of adequate light exposure. This can lead to other complications such as topographical disorientation (inability of the brain to map and record terrain info), lazy eye, and in worst-case scenarios, permanent loss of partial or full vision.
About 30% of the children in the US suffer from myopia due to a number of underlying conditions. This is why doctors recommend getting a child’s eyes checked for the first time after the first 6 months post-birth. If no issues are found, another check at 3-years of age is advised.
*Collaborative feature post*
Survival tips for kids that they should know
How many times have you said to yourself:
“If I only knew then what I know now?”
It takes time to develop our knowledge and gain life experience, and what we learn we should pass on to our kids, so they possess basic survival skills to protect them against this unpredictable world. And if heaven forbid, our children are left to fend for themselves in some weird, horrible turn of events, they are armed with a handful of survival tips and tricks, even if it’s just to get to the phone and ask for help. So, here are the ultimate survival tips for any situation that your child should know now:
How to call for help
Whether this means running out of the house and to the neighbours to ask for help, or picking up the phone and dialling 999, kids need to know how to survive when there is a crisis. Ingrain into their heads your phone number, address, and medical details, if they’re old enough to retain that information. Teach them how to call for an ambulance or the police and keep reminding them that whatever happens, they are to call the police/ambulance first. They should know where family and friends live so they can run away from imminent danger.
How to feed themselves
If kids find themselves on their own, they need to know how to make food and feed themselves until help arrives. I have taught my boys how to make toast and cereal and grab things out of the fridge and cupboard. I’ve also shown them what spoiled food looks like and to smell the food before they eat it. My husband has taught them the basics of what not to eat from the bushes and trees. Teach them things like food storage too so if they’re stranded for hours they know where the food is kept and how it should be stored.
How to practice safe hygiene
Since they were old enough to use their motor skills, I have drummed the importance of hygiene into my boys’ brains. They still forget now and again, but washing hands is fundamentally important to minimise harmful germs entering their systems and making them ill. The adage, “what won’t kill you will only make you stronger,” isn’t exactly correct. If you’re sick, your body takes a huge knock which it almost never recovers from. The more of these knocks you get the weaker your body becomes. It’s great to build up your baby’s immunity but within reason. They are naturally building their immunity from the air they breathe and the things they touch. There’s no need to add extra germs that might make them very ill.
How to stay strong and healthy
We are a very active family who practices eating healthy and staying positive. Since the boys could walk, they were on scooters and then bikes. Now, at eight and nine, they take part in a multitude of sports, including football, gymnastics and swimming. We have also bought them skateboards and in-line rollerblades for their birthdays because it’s very important to make sports fun and to teach them that exercising and staying fit and healthy is vitally important to surviving in the outside world if the forces of nature are against you. Since the boys were babies, they watched me exercise at home, so I’m hoping that this ethic will be instilled into their heads and keep it up into adulthood. Plus, sports and physical activities foster outdoor survival. Unstructured outdoor play is much more beneficial than structured indoor play, so make sure you take your kids to the local park/playground to enhance their mental and physical development.
It’s also a good idea for you to learn first aid so you can teach them basic skills, in case they are faced with a decision that may require basic first aid knowledge. It is also important to teach them about ailments they may face or injuries that require urgent attention. Any injuries to the brain, like brain contusions, need to be dealt with straight away, so they should call 999 as soon as possible.
How to self-medicate themselves
Kids should ideally take a mini medi-kit with them when you’re venturing about to new places. That way, if anything happens and they sustain an injury they can self-medicate themselves, either by cleaning the area with a wound spray and wound healing ointment and protecting the area with antibacterial water resistant plasters or bandages. ELASTOPLAST have a great selection of protective bandages and plasters for children so it’s worth checking them out.
How to keep warm
If your child isn’t old enough to generate heat from fire or they don’t have the supplies then they need to learn other ways to keep warm, like using their body heat or insulating their clothes. Teach them to tuck their trousers into their socks and shirt into their trousers, so heat doesn’t escape from the gaps on the body. They can also fill up their clothing with items they can see outside like dry leaves and plants. Make sure they know which plants to avoid so they don’t stuff their clothes with anything poisonous like poison ivy or poison oak.
If they are separated and likely will spend the night alone, then you should teach them survival tips in the woods/wild by learning how to create a bed from nearby leaves and branches.
How to make money
Unfortunately, money makes the world go around and, even though it may not directly bring you happiness, it buys you choices. Being poor hurts and constantly grafting for money hurts the family. So, I try to teach the boys entrepreneurial skills so they can watch out for gaps in the market and find their own way of making money. I am also instilling in them a good work ethic. They do chores around the house, so they learn the value of the pound and I am teaching them to save money rather than spend it. If you haven’t started doing this yet, it’s never too late. The earlier you teach them, the more likely they are to become savers rather than spenders later on in life.
How to create their own survival kit to survive the wilderness
You could make it a project with the kids to create their own survival kit so they can learn how to survive in the wild. The survival kit could include:
Duct tape
Char cloth
Glow sticks
Plastic bag
Compass to show where the north star is
Aluminium foil
A bottle/jug to collect water
Some kind of water filter and a way to boil water
Something that can create a smoke signal using waterproof matches
Small whistle
Pen knife (make sure the kids are thoroughly trained on how to use a penknife!)
Arm them with a survival guide
Next time you’re at the library or book shop, get your kids a book on how to survive in the wilderness or an outdoors survival guide which teaches them how to survive the outdoors and also includes:
Swimming may not be an outdoor sport, but it is a survival skill. In case of an emergency, the boys need to swim to safety. We take the boys swimming every week, and they have come on leaps and bounds with their swimming skills. We also kit them well in swimming gear from Simply Swim and take them even during the winter. We just make sure they’re thoroughly dry and wrapped up warm when they come out.
There are many other survival skills to teach kids how to thrive in this world, like working hard, being responsible for themselves and making them aware of their surroundings at all times. As they get older, it’s useful to teach kids about how to make a fire, shelter, and fetch water, as well as cook over the fire too. Another important skill is to judge the change in weather and teach them how they to protect themselves during harsh seasons. Some schools in the US are now integrating a weather curriculum that helps children collect and analyse weather data. This is so they can understand what the weather changes mean and how they can work with them, especially thunder and lightning, which can be dangerous if you’re not in a safe environment. Technology that includes lightning detection helps children to predict further changes in weather patterns so they are better prepared during climate changes. Plus, it’s a great way to get them interested in how nature and the environment work.
The important point to note is that in a survival situation, kids should be able to think on their feet and armed with the survival tips above, they should be able to fend for themselves in case we are not around to help them. What other survival tips and tricks do you think is useful for kids to learn when learning how to survive the wilderness? Share in the comments below.
*Collaborative feature post with Simply Swim and ELASTOPLAST
The importance of getting fit while pregnant
Being pregnant is a fitness journey in its own right, and a learning curve, of which no one pregnancy is the same.
Some women try to stay on their feet for as long as they can, while others prefer to sit back/sleep on an orthopaedic pillow and rest for the duration. How you handle your pregnancy is your prerogative. But if your doctor has given you the green light, then you should try to incorporate gentle exercise into your daily routine because the more fit you are during pregnancy, the stronger your body is at dealing with the hormonal and physical changes – and the easier it will be to get back into shape after birth. It has also been proven that staying active helps you cope with labour too.
You should aim to get around thirty minutes of physical activity per day for optimal pregnancy health, depending on the level of exercise you were doing before you got pregnant and your doctor’s advice. Always check with your doctor first before you start any new form of exercise.
If you're pregnant, grab your free pregnancy pack now - details inside!
You shouldn’t try to lose weight during pregnancy or stay in shape. In fact, NHS’ advice states most pregnant women should gain between 10kg and 12.5kg (22lb to 26lb), putting on most of the weight after week 20. Too much or too little weight gain could lead to complications for you and your baby including gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, so it’s worth making sure you are maintaining your weight throughout and not trying to lose weight when pregnant.
So how can you stay fit during pregnancy, from the first trimester to your due date (or beyond) without losing body fat while pregnant, especially when you’re feeling nauseous, tired and fed up?
How to stay fit during pregnancy
Staying fit during pregnancy means incorporating exercise naturally into your lifestyle, either by walking the extra few steps to the shops instead of driving/using public transport or by taking the stairs instead of the lift. A good rule of thumb to follow is if you cannot maintain a conversation during physical activity, you’re doing too much.
So, what are the benefits of getting fit during pregnancy?
Apart from making you feel great on the inside and giving you that much-needed boost in energy, there is a multitude of benefits to staying fit while pregnant. Here are a few reasons why fit pregnant women cope better during pregnancy.
Improves sleep
Trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in when you have a burgeoning baby bump protruding from your stomach can prove quite a challenge. Working out helps you to drift off to sleep at night because you’re burning off excess energy, leaving you exhausted enough to sleep almost instantaneously when you hit the hay. If you get into a good habit of practising some easy relaxation techniques before you go to sleep, then you will find that your body will wind down a lot easier and you’ll sleep better at night.
Exercise eases pregnancy pains
Exercise strengthens your muscles. The stronger your muscles are the higher your pain threshold becomes. Stretching is also a great way to iron out knots and unwanted aches and pains, especially back pain. Walking improves your blood circulation and helps to avoid any unwanted varicose veins as well. Swimming is a great form of exercise, especially during pregnancy, as it gently strengthens your stomach muscles, which helps to support the weight of the growing bump.
Exercise gives you an energy boost
Being tired is one of the biggest drawbacks of being pregnant. Fatigue is especially common during the first and third trimesters and one of the first signs of pregnancy too. But, when you strengthen your muscles through exercise, you will feel stronger and, coupled with a healthy diet, you will also get that extra energy boost that combats that drowsy feeling.
Exercise prepares your body for birth
Giving birth requires energy and stamina, two things that increase with regular exercise. Keeping a regular exercise routine can also help to shorten the length of labour, as mentioned above, and increase your chances of a quick birth as well. If you’re not a regular fitness buff, start slow and gently and keep at it. From a daily walk in the park to prenatal yoga, every little bit counts. Don’t forget your kegel exercises too!
Reduces the chances of pregnancy complications
Pre-eclampsia can be critical for both mother and child if not diagnosed early enough. Exercising regularly throughout the pregnancy does help to reduce the risk of pre-eclampsia if you are at risk of developing the condition. In some cases, if you are not careful with what you eat and you do not exercise regularly, you are also at risk of getting gestational diabetes as well. Exercise helps you manage your all-important blood sugar levels when combined with a healthy diet.
Gets rid of the blues
Exercising releases endorphins into the body which provides you with “feel-good” chemicals. Prenatal yoga is one of the best forms of exercises that keep your stress levels down during pregnancy because it is so calming – a happy mum leads to a happy baby.
So what kind of exercise should you try during pregnancy?
Golf
Not many people think of golf as a form of exercise but it can prove very advantageous to pregnant women. For starters, the game is played at a leisurely pace and isn’t too strenuous on the body, so you can’t do too much damage to both yourself and your unborn child. Secondly, you are getting in that much needed fresh air into the system. The golf course can clear your head and you get to enjoy a lovely green view while exercising too.
Swimming
Swimming is a great way to keep fit during pregnancy. The water is a place where you can clear your head and have some ‘me’ time while working all your muscles. Swimming also strengthens the core, which helps to carry the weight of the baby more easily. This favoured water sport can improve your heart and lungs as well for better oxygenation levels, which encourages toxins to leave the system too. Backstroke is particularly beneficial because it improves your muscular resistance gently and eases the body of unwanted aches and pains that are caused by bad posture during pregnancy – i.e. rounded back and protruding stomach.
Walking
Walking is easily accessible and the most popular form of exercise for all kinds of expecting mums. You can mix it up by taking a leisurely stroll down or the road or, if you’re feeling energetic, you can go for a power-walk in the park. Walking also improves oxygenation levels and blood circulation, whilst gently working on your joints, which can sometimes stiffen during pregnancy. Try to avoid difficult terrain and steep slopes because you don’t want to place unnecessary stress on your back. Also, make sure you wear proper shoes to prevent aching feet, backache, and to improve your balance. When buying shoes it is advised to get a pair half a size bigger, as your feet and legs may swell during pregnancy.
Light Gym
Yoga is a great way to stay flexible and to stretch out all those painful joints. However, do remember that you are pregnant and not your usual supple self, so only go for pregnancy-friendly yoga moves that avoid twisting and stretching the abdomen area. Remember to always keep your core tight and pulled in when doing any form of exercise, to protect the baby and reduce the risk of displacing your muscles.
Water Aerobics
Water aerobics has all the benefits of Yoga but it is less demanding on the body because the buoyancy of the water makes it easier to hold the poses and the weight of the baby. Finding a water aerobics class, especially one specifically tailored to pregnant women, will not only ensure that you’re working your muscles properly and safely, but you will also get to meet other pregnant mums who are in the same position as you.
by Kenny Holston 21
Don’t forget your pelvic floor!
Pelvic floor exercises count as exercise during your pregnancy because they strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which may weaken during pregnancy and birth due to the pressure of the baby and the act of birth itself. You can find more information on how to exercise your pelvic floor during pregnancy here.
Workouts to avoid while pregnant
It is very important to avoid contact sports during pregnancy like football or rugby, as you don’t want the unnecessary impact on the baby. Also avoid hazardous exercises where if you fall you can seriously injure yourself and the baby, like ice skating, skiing and rock climbing.
You also don’t want to make any sudden movements or raise the body temperature up too high. You should aim to keep your heartrate under 130 to avoid overheating and dehydration. Always rehydrate before and after any form of exercise.
There are so many benefits to exercising when pregnant, both for you and your child. But always remember to listen to your body and not overdo any kind of exercise, even if after you’ve had the baby. Consult your doctor before you start any new exercise regime and make sure you keep your heart rate and body temperature down at all times too.
If you're pregnant, grab your free pregnancy pack now - details inside!
How the no fault divorce UK system is changing the picture for divorcee children
No-fault divorce will eliminate the need to blame one spouse for a divorce, but how will this affect the children of divorced couples?
The UK has a system of divorce that requires one spouse to prove the other acted in a way that caused the breakdown of the marriage. That said, with no fault divorce, there’s no need for proof, and divorce can be granted by consent alone.
This new system hasn’t been introduced yet but will likely become law by autumn 2021. The question is, how will this new no fault divorce system affect the children of divorcees?
Today, we’re going to give you a brief overview of no fault divorce and how it’s different from the current system. We’ll also dive into how this will affect the children of divorced couples, before giving you some advice on whether you should wait for the law to come in before you get divorced.
What is no fault divorce?
As we mentioned in the introduction to this post, no fault divorce is a new system of divorce that allows couples to end their marriage without proving one spouse is at fault. Under the current divorce system in England and Wales, one spouse must file for divorce, and accuse their partner of misconduct if they want to dissolve the marriage. There are three reasons you can use to end your marriage:
Unreasonable behaviour
Adultery
Desertion
Once the spouse has filed for divorce, their partner needs to respond, and if they disagree, the person who filed the proceedings will need to provide proof of their initial claim of misconduct. If they can’t provide this evidence, the court might rule that the two must live apart for two or five years until they are able to get divorced.
After several cases of people being forced to stay with a partner because they weren’t able to prove misconduct, the government created a no fault divorce bill. This has now made it through its parliamentary journey and is ready to be passed into law.
This new bill means that, instead of blaming your partner for misconduct to end a marriage, a couple can claim ‘irretrievable breakdown’ as the reason the marriage is ending. Then, they can get a divorce without having to suffer any painful separation periods.
How will no fault divorce change the picture for children?
So, now that we’ve covered the main difference between no fault divorce and the current system, it’s time to discuss what impact this type of divorce/family law will have on children. This section will serve as a sort of no fault divorce pros and cons debate. There are two primary views on whether the new bill is a good or bad idea for children…
Pro – Removes the toxic environment of fault-based divorce
Instead of parents having to blame each other for the breakdown of their marriage, no fault divorce can end it amicably and quickly. This prevents any long, drawn-out arguments over whose fault the divorce is, and just the general tension caused by them having to stay married any longer than they want to. It also avoids the parents coercing the child to take sides; no blame means no sides to take.
The less fighting between the couple, the less their children will be subjected to it. Ultimately, although their parents will be divorced, at least the child didn’t have to witness the breakdown and further resentment caused by their parents being stuck in a toxic marriage.
The Justice Secretary, MP Robert Buckland, said: “The institution of marriage will always be vitally important, but we must never allow a situation where our laws exacerbate conflict and harm a child’s upbringing. By sparing individuals the need to play the blame game, we are stripping out the needless antagonism this creates so families can better move on with their lives.”
Buckland’s sentiments were mirrored by Aidan Jones, the CEO of relationships charity, Relate, who told The Independent newspaper:
“Our current divorce laws encourage increased animosity between parting couples because they are led to decide who is ‘at fault’ and why. This can be difficult to navigate – especially when there’s already a lot of bad feelings and conflict between partners,” he says. “Even when things have been relatively amicable up until that point, the process of having to apportion blame can turn things sour pretty quickly.”
Aidan Jones, CEO of Relate
Relate also released research showing that conflict between parents damages children more than anything else during a divorce. This suggests that no fault divorce is a more compassionate system than the current one.
Con – More children will have divorced parents
Keeping in mind that conflict between parents damages children more than anything else during a divorce, the avoidance of divorce itself is the aim of those who disagree with no fault divorce.
One thing that the current divorce system has in its favour is that it tries to encourage married couples to stay together. The marriage has to have undergone grave misconduct for a divorce to be granted, as most other things are considered small enough for the couple to recover from.
With no fault divorce, couples will be able to get divorced on a whim over a minor disagreement or issue, which could lead to more children having divorced parents.
Also, with divorce proceedings happening at a higher speed, there isn’t much time to discuss how the parenting will be organised after the divorce. Because of this, the child might be dragged through a painful child custody battle.
This sentiment was expressed in a letter written to the Telegraph by several MPs who asked the government to focus their attention on helping couples reconcile instead of introducing no fault divorce. The MPs also claimed that enacting the no fault divorce bill would be poor timing, as COVID-19 has already made couples more fragile and on the verge of filing for divorce.
One of the MPs, Fiona Bruce, said of the bill:
“This bill is a bad bill. It sends out the wrong message at the wrong time. No-fault divorce is really state-approved unilateral divorce.
“Ministers like to say that it is all about the divorce process and not about marriage. They are wrong. The removal of fault sends out the signal that marriage can be unilaterally exited with no available recourse for the party who has been left.”
Fiona Bruce, MP
Should you wait for no fault divorce to happen?
The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Bill made it through the House of Commons on 17th June. It’s now on its way to receive Royal assent, and will need to have additional amendments made to it by the House of Lords.
Unfortunately, for those of you waiting for no fault divorce to be passed, the bill will not come into force until autumn 2021. So, it may be a waiting game for those wanting to part ways without a cause.
So, is it worth waiting until next year for no fault divorce to pass?
If you’re in a marriage that isn’t working, and you’re sure that you’re going to get divorced anyway, it might be worth filing for divorce now. Especially if you have children who have to watch the breakdown of your marriage over the next year, why not nip it in the bud.
However, it’s a good idea to make sure you have evidence of misconduct, or a partner who won’t contest the misconduct, before you file for divorce. If you don’t have this, you’ll have to wait at least 2 years to get divorced anyway, so you might as well wait for the no fault divorce bill to be passed.
Change is inevitable
Today, we’ve managed to cover what no fault divorce is and how it differs from our current system. We’ve also delved into the two sides of the coin on how it will affect children, and shared some advice on whether you should wait a year for the bill to be passed into law.
Depending on whether you believe no fault divorce will cause more divorces or not changes the way this new bill affects divorcee children. If the level of divorce doesn’t go up too much, then no fault divorce was the right choice. However, if it goes up a lot it, could mean that many more children end up with divorced parents than under the previous system.
The main thing to remember is that this bill has now been passed and will be put in place in 2021. We have to hope that the benefits of reducing the pain of divorce for children outweighs the possible increase in divorce rates.
Hopefully this post has shed some light on the topic of no fault divorce. Leave a comment down below if you have any insight into the topic, and thanks for reading!
*Collaborative feature post*
Simple breastfeeding tips to keep baby feeling full for longer
During each first year of breastfeeding (I have three babies), I had an oversupply of breastmilk, especially foremilk, and it often felt like I was feeding for hours on end. I remember one particular incident when I breastfed my eldest for almost three hours while watching two movies back to back. Two hours later, he was hungry again.
Very first breastfeeding experience after Aron’s birth
If you’re breastfeeding and you feel like a human milk bottle, then let me introduce you to Jacqui Nancey, who is a Registered Midwife, Lactation Consultant and Baby care/Sleep Specialist!
Jacqui has created Nature’s Four Course Beginner Breastfeeding Tips and Tricks, which are simple breastfeeding latching tips to help your nursing baby feel full for longer. As well as teaching mothers how to breastfeed successfully, Jacqui also offers advice on the following:
“How do I satisfy my breastfeeding baby? Why does my 6+ week old keep waking every 45-60 mins after feeding for ages on both breasts, yet he wants to feed again each time I think he is asleep and I try to settle him down in his crib? I am exhausted from feeding him constantly and totally sleep-deprived, yet my baby’s appetite keeps growing every passing day and week.”
Walking robotic mum
This mum’s reality of accruing mental stress, daily sleep deprivation, and psycho-social fatigue, is a major risk factor for:
recurring negative mood swings which could lead to postpartum depression, or even escalate to maternal psychosis should the mother be susceptible to mental health risk factors if not properly supported
slow postnatal recovery, or even morbidity after childbirth
the potential for marital conflict and challenging family dynamics
poor mother and baby parenting skills and emotional attachment…
Does stress affect breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding for new moms can be stressful, but increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol can also reduce overall breast milk supply, and delay the let-down reflex of milk release.
Mental, physical, and emotional stress can also have a negative impact on breastmilk supply and quality, as well as hinder the normal function of your breastfeeding hormones, prolactin, and oxytocin, which are produced by your brain’s hypothalamus. Stress can affect the delicate balance between your milk production, milk release, breast milk supply, and the quality richness of your milk.
Benefits of a stress-free experience when breastfeeding a baby
Breastfeeding is meant to relax the mind, soothe the body, and be a comfortable experience overall for mother and baby.
However, if you are feeling moody, tired, or mentally fatigued, then the actual quality and volume of your breast milk will eventually be compromised, from a creamy baby milk texture to a very light and unsatisfying breast milk quality. You may also find it difficult for your baby to latch-on easily at the start of some feeds throughout the day or night time feeding sessions.
Therefore, the more relaxed nursing mothers are, the better their mood and psycho-social well-being will contribute to the creamy QUALITY density and volume of breastmilk, which increases the chances of breastfeeding success.
Here are some other benefits of breastfeeding:
Being happy has a positive impact on breastmilk supply and quality
Happy hormones in your bloodstream are released into your breastmilk, which can directly contribute to your baby’s sense of relaxation and satisfaction from the creamy density of your milk supply. Plus, the sleep-inducing effect of the natural morphine hormone is found in your HIND-breast milk, so you need to make sure baby is feeding for longer enough to get to that back milk.
Follow a good breastfeeding diet and encourage positive family dynamics
Your breast milk volume plus rich quality in terms of its nutritional value, creamy density and baby satisfaction can be improved and sustained by ensuring you are:
➢ Well rested and psycho-socially at peace with your inner self and home environment
➢ Practically well-supported by your immediate family
➢ You eat and drink nutritional meals, foods and snacks
The following brief will focus on three breastfeeding tips (for first-time mothers especially), to experience relaxed breastfeeding from day one:
1. Soothing Breast-Softening massage
The best mind and body-relaxing pre-feed preparation tools for mums
2. Pain-free baby latching
The latch is extremely important to encourage the baby to suckle and enhance breast milk let-down. Latch also ensures breastfeeding enjoyment, so the milk comes easily. Make sure to wipe the baby’s face gently after each feed to prevent a milk rash forming.
3. Satisfying baby at every feed
Use the four-course breastfeeding tricks to satisfy your breastfeeding baby
1. Breast-softening massage
Always start your day with the side your baby does not naturally seem to prefer. By nursing this way, you will naturally ensure that both breasts have a good supply on both sides of your breasts.
Start the breast-preparation massage to relax, soften and ease the breast skin and ducts into pain-free breastmilk release and nursing
Sit comfortably in a well-supported comfy chair. Have a clean hand towel on your lap, plus a bowl of edible sunflower or olive oil next to you if there are no familial allergies
Half-strip only by taking the blouse and nursing bra off on one side of your chest. Start with the breast that produces the lesser from the two. This is because one breast always seems to have bigger ducts than the other, which explains why most babies naturally prefer the faster-flow breast side than the one with the slower flow or narrower ducts
Use a gentle oil salve and rub some oil in both your palms. Gently salve all over the breast tissue
Place one of your wrists within the crest of your torso – to provide leverage with your open palm for the breast to be massaged. ALWAYS MASSAGE ONE BREAST AT A TIME, as massaging both will leave you soaking in breastmilk from the side your baby would not be suckling on.
With the other palm, use the ball of the palm to gently massage the side of your breast from the arm-pit to the areola five times
After these initial 5X armpit massages, use that same palm as leverage on that side of the breast. Then proceed the same gentle massage 5X with the other palm from crest to the areola
Move one palm to support by cupping the underside of that same breast. Then use the other palm to gently massage – always using the ball of your palm – from the shoulder blade to the areola X5
For the finale, simply use the shoulder blade massaging palm to support the entire top-side of the breast. Then use the other ball of the palm to likewise massage the entire underside of your breast by starting from the rib-cage muscle, breast underside right up to the same breast areola
Best times for your breast massage
You can massage your breast any time you feel full and engorged, i.e. from your 3 am – 11 am feeds, as this is usually the time when your breasts will be full, hard, engorged and probably painful to touch
Soft breast skin and a pliable areola means that it is a lot easier for your hungry baby to suckle from your areola
2. Pain-free baby latching
Pain-free breastfeeding starts with the correct attachment of the baby’s mouth around your areola, instead of the baby’s lips and jaws clamping onto your tender nipple tissue.
A good breast-feeding latch-on means that the soft and massaged breast tissue, makes it a lot easier for your baby to open their mouth much wider around the areola, instead of focussing on the nipple alone.
Babies are clever and will quickly notice when the breast is hard to suckle. They will get frustrated because they will find it difficult to fit a hard and engorged balloon into their mouth, hence why they seem to naturally clamp onto your nipple alone, each time you try to nurse them – with full and hard breast tissue.
Parenting Tip: Baby Gas or Colic Relief
Should your baby suffer from the two tummy discomforts, you could offer them some Woodwards gripe water tonic.
Mix 5mls in 3oz of warm boiled water and offer your baby 1oz 30 mins before the 6/7 am feed, 10/11 am and the 5 pm feeds.
3. Satisfying baby at every feed
The Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach is the easiest way to make sure the baby gets to the rich HIND milk during and after every breastfeeding session. The result is a baby who feeds lustily from start to finish and is satisfied after every feeding session. Thus, they have a full tummy and is happily settled plus sleeping well during the day or night breastfeeding sessions. Otherwise, when the baby keeps waking up for small, frequent and short breastfeeding feeding sessions, this type of commonly adapted breastfeeding approach is known as the:
SNACK breastfeeding method.
SNACK-breastfeeding means that although your baby feeds frequently, their overall appetite is not fully pacified, hence why they keep waking up every 45-60 mins throughout the day or night.
Yet for most healthy six-week-old babies, born at term gestation and with no compromising psycho-social risk factors, you would expect to start sleeping for at least 2-3 plus hour intervals in between their day or night feed, which can result in an ongoing cycle of stress and parental sleep-deprivation, the older their baby gets.
However, the Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach is nature’s way to satisfy your baby’s appetite from day one.
If you have ever expressed breast milk and left it to settle for later use in the fridge, you can see the three stages of your breast milk quality ‘titrate’ or separate themselves into three noticeable layers.
When breastmilk is made by the breast milk-making cells known as the acinar cells, the result is a release and increase of breastmilk supply which comes as a combination of three types of breastmilk densities as follows:
Stage 1 – TOP milk
This is the thirst-quenching feed-starter
Stage 2. MIDDLE milk
This is the semi-skimmed milk appetiser
Stage 3. HIND-milk
This is the toffee-rich super creamy nectar
Significantly, even though ALL breastmilk is nutritious, it seems like it is naturally released in three stages, which naturally changes from Stage 1 to Stage 3, as the feed progresses to pacify your baby’s appetite.
Mothers who use the Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach, find that from start to finish, a typical breastfeeding session would naturally last at least 45 minutes of the active baby nursing, taking burping breaks after every 10 mins when needed.
Stage 1 – TOP milk -Thirst-quenching feed-starter
Have you noticed how most babies wake up in a feeding frenzy? This is because they aree feeling both thirsty and super-hungry at the same time.
So nature designed this initial Stage 1 milk to assuage their thirst first. Stage 1 breast is found at the very base of your milk ducts, located at the front of your breast anatomy/areola. This TOP breast milk is very light in colour, thin in density and often has a chalky-greyish hue.
Although it makes up as much as 60-70% of your entire breast milk supply and is very nutritious, its thin density is NOT very satisfying for babies. Which explains why switching sides at the moment your baby stops nursing, will leave most exclusively fed nursing babies feeling constantly peckish – hence the frequent baby-feeding bouts and very limited sleeping episodes.
Quick Tip – COLIC-Relief baby-burping Massage
Once your baby starts falling asleep on the breast after the first ten minutes of their thirst-quenching initial feed, it is your cue to wake them up gently by applying the COLIC-Relief baby-burping massage.
As soon as you have applied the baby-burping colic-relief massage, your baby will immediately wake up and route for a feed. The baby-burping massage naturally quickens the release of breastfeeding into the stomach, instead of the usual 45+ mins it normally takes for this milk to reach the baby’s stomach from the feeding tube.
The beauty of the colic-relief baby burping massage is that it will keep your baby avidly interested, happy, and awake throughout your entire breastfeeding session from start to finish – hence why it is naturally done in-between each of your baby’s breastfeeding sessions.
Instead of switching sides, you are encouraged to latch your baby onto the same side for this second time.
You will also notice that your baby will not be as frenzied in their suckling as in the initial Stage 1 milk intake. This is because your baby is at least 3/4s full from the Stage 1 milk.
Also, Stage 2 milk is creamier in density than the skimmed density of Stage 1 milk. As seen by its light yellowish colour and it is also more satisfying for the baby’s appetite than Stage 1 milk.
Stage 2 milk is therefore called the semi-skimmed breast milk appetizer, since it’s quality of milk richness falls between the very light Stage 1 milk quality of skimmed milk density and the very rich Stage 3 toffee milk.
It is not only the QUANTITY and VOLUME of breast milk that satisfies baby, but it is the QUALITY and RICHNESS of any given feed that pacifies both your baby’s hunger and feeding urges.
Hence why adapting the Four-Course Breastfeeding Approach, results in your baby starting to calm down after another 8-10 mins of taking the Stage 2 milk.
Usually, your baby’s Stage 2 milk intake will last between 8-10 mins of a medium-slow baby feeding pace, unlike the frenzied rapid feeding, pace witnessed at stage 1.
Towards the end of Stage 2 milk, your baby’s feeding pace will eventually slow down significantly until they get to what we call the intermittent baby feeding pace when you will notice your baby begin to feed in bits of tiny suckles in a drowsy state before literally falling off the breast half asleep.
Medical caution
If your baby is unwell, dehydrated or on any kind of medical fluid balance assessments, then very often the volume aspect of your baby’s feeds will be the priority to follow as per your paediatric advice.
Stage 3 – HIND-milk – Toffee rich super creamy nectar
Have you ever noted how thick and creamy this milk density is!
Every single baby loves this Stage 3 milk quality and though every breastfeeding session has it in different measures throughout any 24hr time frame – you can get most of this Stage 3 milk between the 3 am – 12 pm breastfeeds.
It is generally full fat in density, has a sticky texture and is super-sweet, hence why its called ‘toffee sweet’. It also comes with a natural dose of ‘morphine’ properties that are naturally designed to make your baby have a deep sound sleep after every Four-Course breastfeeding session.
Given the rich density and satisfying quality of this Stage 3 breast milk, this session usually lasts only 5-8 mins in total, before your cherub looks pretty dazed and super sleepy.
This is also your cue to change your baby’s nappy immediately after the burping massage. A soothing and gentle warm water nappy change will immediately wake up your drowsy baby enough to keep them contented and alert, before your Fourth Course breastfeeding finale – which will occur from your second breast.
If you try to feed your baby straight after the aesthetic nappy change, your baby will be reluctant to feed so soon, or simply spit up when fed that soon. Hence the 15-20 min mini-break.
Therefore, settling your baby in a recliner, while you grab a snack, shower, or check on your emails gives you that much-needed break away from the feeling of constantly feeding over the last 30 minutes.
Quick Tip
Settling your baby in a gentle recliner will ease your baby’s digestion for about 15-20 mins
Fourth Course – Change Breastfeeding side
Generally, most babies from age 0-3 months post-partum can only stay awake for 1-hour in-between feeds before falling into a deep 2-3 hour sleep, depending on your breastfeeding technique and family home psycho-social dynamics.
This way we start the 3-stage breastfeeding technique on one side A, to begin with, which normally lasts for 30 minutes. By the end of this 30 minutes on breast A, your baby would be at least 80% full and looking like they are ready to sleep soundly.
After 15-20 mins mother and baby take a break, and your baby will start to get visibly restless, sleepy, and unsettled. This is your baby’s cue to let you know they are now ready to resume the Fourth-course stage of their entire breastfeeding session.
You can now SWITCH sides by offering your baby the now massaged Breast B, because it would be naturally so full and engorged by now. Besides, after taking the rich density of the HIND-milk quality, your baby will naturally need the thirst-quenching milk to wash it.
This final stage will only take 5-10 minutes on the new side before your baby is ready for a good two+ hour’s sleep.
Conclusion
While we understand how draining the reality of exclusive breastfeeding can be for most postnatal mums’ mental and physical faculties, we hope that the practical breastfeeding for newborn support tips shared in this brief will offer you a much easier breastfeeding experience instead of the chronic weariness when trying to satisfy a ‘snack-fed’ baby.
Toddler bedroom ideas on a budget
A toddler room will become your baby’s palace. They will sleep, play and eventually study in their personal space, so giving them a great bedroom will breathe new life into their haven.
When looking into room décor, think about the space you have available and the theme you want to create. Have an overall outlook first when considering the room and interior design ideas for toddler bedrooms. Your toddler will likely change their interests over time, so think about an overall theme that can be enhanced upon again and again.
Also, consider what you want to change and the space you have available. Do you want to paint the walls? Which items do you want to display? Which necessary pieces of furniture should stay and which should be thrown out?
Depending on your child, you may come up with toddler boy room ideas for your little boy or little girl kids’ room ideas for your princess. Or you can keep it unisex and allow the room to grow with your child’s fluctuating interests.
Overhauling your kids’ rooms doesn’t have to cost the earth. So, grab a notepad, pen and a cup of something fancy because today we’re going to discuss some toddler bedroom ideas on a budget!
What are your toddler’s hobbies and interests?
When embarking on the road to decorating a toddler’s bedroom, it’s important to consider their hobbies and interests first. Do they love books? If so, think about incorporating an easy-to-reach bookcase* and a nice beanbag* for them to sit down.
Toddler rooms don’t need fancy shelving, so you could just create an affordable reading corner by using a bunch of throw pillows and some fairy lights to create a place of Zen too.
If they’re sporty (and let’s face it, most, if not all toddlers are), then adopt a more minimalistic approach (which is also cheaper), so you can open up space for them to run around and play.
Perhaps hang up a small basketball hoop to practise their hand-eye coordination in bed and finish the look with a unique rug or look into funky carpets to bring life to the open floor.
If you’re stuck for ideas, head to Ikea as they have readymade Ikea toddler rooms which you can buy in bulk or just pick out your favourite bits of that room and piece something more unique together for your toddlers bedroom ideas.
Humble Crew, Grey/White Kids Book Rack Storage Bookshelf, 4 Tiers – Buy from Amazon here*
Labebe Baby Wooden Bookshelf, Kids Bookshelf with Wheels for 1 Year Up, Book Rack Wood/Kid Bookcase/Children Bookshelf/Toddler Book case/Children Book Display Self/Infant Book Toy Storage White
SEIRIONE Kids Book Rack, 4 Sling Bookshelf, 2 Storage Boxes and Toys Organizer Shelves, Beige – Buy from Amazon here*
Soothing Company Stuffed Animal Bean Bag Chair for Kids – Extra Large Empty Beanbag – Kid Toy Storage Covers for Your Child’s Stuffed Animals and Blankets | Premium Cotton Canvas (38″, Pink Flowers) – Buy from Amazon here*
Aubliss Stuffed Animal Storage Bean Bag Chair Cover Only for Plush Toys, Blankets, Medium 32″-Canvas Dinosaur – Buy from Amazon here*
Aubliss Stuffed Animal Storage – Unicorn Bean Bag Chair – Velvet Cover Only – Large Stuff and Sit for Kids Toy Storage (38″, Purple)
Go for a bigger bed
Ensure longevity of your child’s room by opting for a larger size bed. While your child may be small now, they’re going to get bigger – in just a blink of the eye! If you have the space, choose a double mattress over a single. Your kid will enjoy feeling like a grown-up, and it will last them right through their teenage years.
What is your focal point?
A toddler room design should have at least one focal point, and in a toddler’s bedroom, this should be the bed. If you have a lot of space, you can go for a fancy race car bed or any other character-based bed that comes with different compartments like a desk, a cupboard and a sleeping area.
But if you have a small space, then regular children’s bunk beds would suit best as they only take up one side of the room and you can build up rather than out into the small area. You can find very affordable bunk beds for under £500 like the Jubilee Bunk Bed in Ivory White which is on sale for £355 at the moment.
It’s a lovely sturdy bed with a slim footprint, which means it can fit into small bedrooms. It has a low bunk with an easy to reach top bunk so you can tuck your little one in without having to stretch.
You can also split the bunk bed into two three-foot single beds so when your little ones grow up wanting to be in separate beds or rooms then you can offer them two beds without having to fork out for another.
You can find mattress offers when you buy beds from Room to Grow so you will make a further saving too!
Other toddler room ideas boy toddlers and girl toddlers include:
Treehouse
Slide
Narnia style wardrobe
Swing
Trap door
Glass ceiling
A stage
Jungle
Space rocket
Pirate ship
Decalmile Animals Tree Wall Decals Owl Fox Deer Wall Stickers Kids Bedroom Baby Nursery Wall Decor – Buy from Amazon here*
Use the walls and windows to decorate the room
If you have no more space in the room to decorate, then you can move onto the walls and windows for ways to bring the colour out in the room. Whether you are coming up with toddler girl room ideas or just looking for regular toddler room décor, it is quite easy to do up the walls without it costing an arm and a leg.
Removable wall transfers* are very affordable, and there are tons of patterns and styles from which to choose. They work like tattoos, and you can get your toddler involved in affixing them to the wall as well. And, the plus side is the damage is reversible!
An alternative to wall transfers could be to add colourful bunting around large pieces of furniture. It’s a brilliant way of decorating any toddler room, and you can coordinate the colours with the area you’re decorating.
Other ideas can be to paint a landscape scene with animal prints if they are animal lovers, or use stencils to draw in their favourite characters to the wall. You can add framed prints*, their favourite painting or a photo of the family for extra decoration, which will help to make bare walls pop with personality.
You can add a gallery wall or floating shelves too which will enhance the walls nicely.
A chalkboard wall would be great too and it’s easy to do. You can paint your own with chalkboard paint which isn’t that expensive either and it’s a great way to get toddlers decorating their own wall, as it’s so unique and interesting.
Fairy lights add a magical appeal to any room and toddlers will love them because they can provide a soft light around certain room features like bed frames or chairs to accent them further.
They also look great strung up on walls and they’re not too bad for the electricity bill, as the bulbs are much smaller. You can even find battery operated fairy lights too to enhance the lighting in the bedroom.
Don’t stop there, use curtains or blinds to keep to the theme of the room. Blinds can be very cheap and can double up as blackout blinds for toddlers to sleep easy and can create that pop of colour to enhance the room.
Blackout blinds can cost as little as £14.39 and bring colour to a room. Try the Chelsea Blackout Roller Blind in Flame for a red-themed room or the Primary Blackout Roller Blind in Noir which costs as little as £11.99, which are both made to measure, and include chain control, metal fixing brackets and a child safety device to prevent any risk or injury to children.
You can choose the side you control the cord when placing your order too. Blackout blinds can help children to sleep at night, so opt for blinds that block out the sun, especially when the days are longer in the summer to prevent any disruption to your toddler’s sleep pattern.
Storage should be at the top of your list when coming up with bedroom ideas for toddlers because they are a fantastic way to limit space, especially when you have a smaller than average room.
Always be sure to include a decent amount of storage in your child’s room. Whether this be under bed storage, or a standalone option like an ottoman or chest of drawers, having a place to put things away will help keep the room tidy and clutter-free.
Optimising your toddler’s bedroom with hidden storage space is also a sneaky way to keep the mess away from your field of vision and helps to keep your child’s bedroom tidy.
Whether it be storage boxes underneath their bed or a bed with storage built into it like the thuka cabin beds, just make sure that whatever you are hiding away is easily accessible to your toddler. The last thing you want is your toddler throwing everything all over their room trying to find what they are looking for.
Allocate different areas for toys, clothes and books and train your toddlers to return things when they’re finished with them. Learning how to stay organised early on will set them up for their work and personal life later.
If you’re short on money, create a storage space with what you have at home. Bean bags can double up as storage items too, especially for toddlers. You can find the best stuffed animal bean bags over at supermompicks.com, as well as other ideas on how to maximise storage space.
Encourage artistic tendencies
When I was a young teenager, I wanted my room to be hot pink and sunrise yellow (don’t ask why!) Dad even left an edgy white border (probably where the wallpaper border was supposed to go) and my crazy, bright room turned into a real jazzy, Latino-style summer bedroom.
Dad did a brilliant job and, most importantly, I got to help decorate too. The whole project took about two days, and I had to sleep in my sister’s room temporarily, but, as a result, I received a fully refurbished bedroom, which finally felt like a little haven and a true reflection of my personality.
Ok, so I was a teenager, but you can easily get your toddler to help decorate their room, even as young as their age because it will massively enhance their imagination and encourage them to look after their room because they helped do the hard work to create it.
Does your child like to paint or draw? If so, then you can enable them to express themselves with toddler suitable paint or a whiteboard mounted onto the wall. That way, they can not only be creative, but you can wipe it off, and they can draw on it over and over again.
Get them to pick out themed decorations and encourage them to display how they’d like to see the toddler room decor (with a bit of adult help of course).
Getting the toddlers stuck in with helping create their bedroom will encourage confidence and creativity for when they are ready to take the lead in creating their themed bedroom when they’re older.
When my kids were four and five, below is how they wanted to decorate their rooms:
“Children typically create little things, but the bedroom is the first real, permanent thing that they can influence. Involving a child helps them to establish their own inner space and the image they want to project to others. And for parents, working together with their children can help to establish a stable, respectful relationship.”
Dr Sam Wass, Expert Developmental Psychologist, University of East London
Keep it at eye level
When designing, it’s easy to think of things from our perspective, but try not to make the various elements unreachable for your toddler. Keep storage containers and shelves at his or her level so the room is designed specifically for them.
Literally, get on your knees and try to view your toddler’s room from their perspective – height-wise at least! Doing this may completely change your opinion of how best to organise the room.
Often, we use furniture that is more suited to adults when it comes to rooms for toddlers but this shouldn’t be the case. Smaller hands find it difficult to manage furniture like dresser drawers that they are liable to trap their fingers in – and will, therefore, be afraid to use.
Keep the room bright
If possible, use large windows and some lights to add some vibrancy to the room. Toddlers do much better when exposed to the world outside, and they will love having a room that is bright and cheerful.
Don’t forget safety!
Safety should be your main concern when decorating your toddler’s room. Concentrate on making every area of the room clean and safe. For example, don’t expose any electrical outlets and cover sockets with socket protectors. Also, don’t place heavy or breakable items in easy to reach places and secure furniture to the wall.
These are just a few suggestions, but common sense and parental instinct will help you ensure your toddler’s room is safe.
Teach the toddlers how to keep their rooms clean
Encouraging toddlers to clean their room now will teach them how to value their things when they’re older. But they’re very young, so you will need to show them how it’s done.
Go through the process of cleaning their room with them and, most importantly, talk about what you are doing. A little independent helper in the house is always a good thing anyway.
Make it clear that everything has its own place and that’s where it should go when they’ve finished using it. For example, toddlers store lots of games in their bedroom. So, their new place should be in one of the storage areas in their big storage shelf that houses their books.
Make friends with your labels
Putting labels on items is a sure-fire way to make sure things are kept neat and organised in your new toddler bedroom. You can make it fun by using illustrations in-keeping with the style of your toddler’s room.
Combining illustrative labels with word labels can help to influence your toddler’s learning as well (they’re a great baby room idea too), which is always a good thing! You can find a range of kids name labels at stickeryou.com, and you can enlist your toddler in labelling their own items before they put their things away in the right place (so it makes for a great kid room idea too.)
There are tons of great labels for kids to choose from like home labels to organise storage boxes, which house different items. We have created storage space for the kids’ main toy categories, for example, Lego, vehicles, characters and other memorabilia.
Keep the future in mind
Perhaps the most important tip when decorating your child’s room: always look to the future. Think about how your child will grow alongside the furniture you choose, and perhaps how it can be adapted to suit their changing needs. For instance, does the desk have a hutch that could be added to provide extra shelving once they transition from watercolour paintings to writing essays? By keeping the future in mind, you can ensure you’re always one step ahead for maintaining an inspiring and functional space for your child.
Coming up with toddler bedroom ideas for small rooms or on a budget needn’t be hard. Take your toddler’s lead and allow them to make choices by offering them two options and they select by instinct what they want to see in their room. The most important aspect of creating a toddler’s bedroom is to offer them a sanctuary in which to play and a safe haven where they can feel safe and happy. If you have younger children transfer these ideas into babies room ideas and you can have kid room designs suitable for children of all ages!
Do you have any toddler girl bedroom ideas for small rooms? Equally, do you have room ideas for boy toddlers too? What are your favourite tips for decorating a toddler room? Share with us in the comments below!
