Hypnobirthing techniques for a more positive labour and birth – Part 2
In Part 1, I introduced hypnobirthing and MamaSerene’s hypnobirthing course and discussed the effects of hypnobirthing on labour and birth. In this article, I will go through the hypnobirthing techniques that we learned at the hypnobirthing course to practice with your birth partner as early as possible and every day before labour kicks in, so you can apply these techniques to achieve a more positive birthing experience.
“A positive birth is the best gift you can give your baby… and yourself.” MamaSerene
At the beginning of the one-day course (from 9.30am to 5.30pm, with a few breaks in between), hubby and I were asked to write down three things that we were anxious about before our baby girl’s birth. These were:
The baby’s heart rate dipping and oxygen not flowing to the brain
The long labour causing damage to the baby in some way
During MamaSerene SereneBirth’s Hypnobirthing Course, Dani Diosi gave us a set of tools and techniques that you and your partner can use during labour and birth.
Before the course, which was attended in private at Dani Diosi’s beautiful home in Bushey we filled out an extensive questionnaire so Dani could get an idea of our birth history, where we were at during the pregnancy and how we felt about labour and birth in general.
I naturally wrote an essay, so I was very impressed that she retained all that information and applied it specifically to the course.
We started with Dani telling us the history of childbirth, which was fascinating and we were advised to read Ina May Gaskin’s, Guide to Childbirth to learn of its birth and progression throughout the years. We then talked about hypnobirthing and how it could help you have a more positive labour and birth, details of which you can find in Part 1 of this article series. So, let’s dig in to find out what you need to do to prepare for a hypnobirthing.
Introduction to labour and birth
Nature intends for us to procreate and even though reproduction isn’t for everyone, it is why we are all here in this world – to mate and continue our species like every other animal (even the asexual types who reproduce by themselves.)
In the natural world, the male and female are drawn together sexually, and the act of making love starts the procreation. During that act, there is no input from anyone else; the bodies know what to do and how to release the eggs and sperm, which then fertilise the egg and begin the road to pregnancy.
During pregnancy, the body instinctively knows how to grow the baby as long as mum keeps her body as healthy as possible or an unfortunate event such as a miscarriage/stillbirth occurs. Then, when the time is right, her uterus, pelvis and release of hormones are designed for her to birth her baby.
So, why does nature appear to fail us at the point of labour and birth?
Why do we experience excruciating pain, unplanned caesareans, and various birth complications?
And, why doesn’t this happen to other mammals?
Mammals are great at giving birth. If you’ve ever seen a cat give birth, the mother instinctively goes to find somewhere dark and quiet, and away from predatory danger. She appears to be relaxed, and she moans quietly and rhythmically until she births her baby.
We are all mammals – humans are more intelligent and sophisticated – and, our bodies haven’t changed physiologically in the last millions of years. The way our babies are born and our primal needs are the same as other mammals.
So why are our births so different?
The main difference is that we have developed much larger and more complex brains. We still have our primary/limbic part of the brain, but our neocortex, the part which handles intelligence, analysis, language, irrational fears and inhibitions are more developed, which means the neocortex ‘interferes’ with the ability for us to allow our body to take control of the birthing process.
In my article about anxiety, I talked about how our brains cannot distinguish between a genuine threat and a perceived threat, i.e. a tiger in front of us versus speaking in front of many people. In each case, adrenaline is still produced, which kicks off the fight-or-flight response, and the triggers aim to get you out of danger.
However, you are not in danger when you are speaking in front of people, but your brain cannot distinguish between the two. So, if a woman goes into birth feeling tense, her system will produce adrenaline and respond accordingly.
So what?
Well, let’s list out what adrenaline does to a woman in labour:
Oxygenated blood rushes away from the centre of her body, which means flowing away from the uterus and baby
The uterus doesn’t receive fresh blood, so can’t remove the lactic acid effectively
The muscle ends up hurting and becoming tighter
The baby is not receiving pure oxygen through the mother’s blood and so over a long period can become distressed
The muscles will tense up to prepare for the fight-or-flight response, which will affect her breathing and cause a lack of oxygen to the baby
Her body will think she is in a ‘dangerous situation’, and so her cervix will close, and labour will not progress
All the above is incredibly useful if there is genuine danger ahead, but many women who experience this adrenaline coursing through their bodies are not actually in danger. So, as a result, complications can occur, and the woman ends up with a negative birth experience.
If this birth situation continues for a while, then her baby can become distressed, and the cervix stops opening. The doctors and midwives may use terms like ‘not dilating fast enough’, ‘failure to progress’ and ‘baby in distress’, which causes more adrenaline and ultimately intervention to speed things up.
The care provider then gives the woman artificial hormones or chemical drugs, and her body stops producing the right amount of natural hormones. The anxiety, medical intervention, the embarrassment and the hostile environment all work together to cause adrenaline during labour. As a result, her body continues to pause labour because of the perceived danger and the rate of caesarean increases due to not being able to progress the birth.
Birth hasn’t just become like this. The stigma attached has happened over centuries and stems really from when religion came into being. Check out the image below from Dance of Life Midwifery, which shows the comparison between the Technocratic and Wholistic Models of Birth.
Understanding the physiology of labour and birth
To feel more in control of your labour and birth, you need to understand how the physiology works, i.e. the process that you will encounter during labour and birth. During the hypnobirthing course, my husband and I laid out a timeline from the first contraction to holding your baby to see whether we knew how the process worked.
It turned out that even though we’ve done this process twice before, we both still got it quite wrong!
We were provided with a lovely Path to Birth flowchart in our pack, which was designed by Kicki Hansard, and displays the stages of labour to birth beautifully:
Women should understand that birth is a process that unfolds slowly and the woman’s body responds according to the environment and support she has around her. Oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone’ is usually released at high levels when there are people around you who love and care for you. There are no clocks, no pharmaceutical pain management, and no regular timings of contractions. So it is important to start from a place of personal power and be made to feel in control of your labour and birth.
Understanding the risks to make more informed choices
They say knowledge is power.
So, having more knowledge of the obstetrical risks can provide you with that control you need to birth how you want to, whether that be a home birth or a caesarean. For example, when talking about risk, your birth provider might tell you:
“Remaining pregnant beyond 42 weeks more than doubles your risk of stillbirth.”
While the relative risk of stillbirth does more than double between 40 and 43 weeks, the absolute rate remains small – rare in fact.
The table above shows that 37 weeks would appear to be the safest week to induce labour to prevent most stillbirths. But the questions you need to consider – and ask – are:
What are the current known risks to the baby of inducing labour before it begins on its own
How is induced labour different from spontaneous labour?
Why do so many care providers recommend induction of labour at or near 41 weeks instead of at the end of 42 weeks?
And what exactly does ‘risk’ mean?
For example, there is a 1:1 risk or it is 100% likely that death and taxes will happen in our lives and there is a 1:1,000,000 or 0.0001% risk of dying in a fatal air crash. So if you look at the table above and we refer to the rate of stillbirth beyond 42 weeks again, you can see that even though the rate of stillbirth doubles, the actual rate of stillbirth is 2.13:1000, which is 0.213%! It doesn’t have quite the same buzz to it as ‘your risk doubles’, does it?
But what matters to you?
That is the real question. If the benefits of the medical intervention outweigh the risks, then opting for that intervention may be necessary.
But if the benefits and risks are unclear, then consider:
Are you ok now? Is the baby ok now? Then consider waiting a little longer before you act.
Is this medical intervention a routine procedure that the care provider offers everyone, or is there something unique about your situation? If it’s routine, then consider waiting a little longer.
Who benefits from this medical intervention now? Is it mum and baby? Or the care provider? If it’s the care provider, then consider waiting a little longer.
Asking these questions ensures you arm yourself with the right information before deciding, and a great way to make sure you are asking the right questions is to use a process called BRAINS:
Benefits
Risks
Alternatives
Intuition
Nothing
Smile!
What are the Benefits of medical intervention?
What are the Risks if I agree to the medical intervention?
Are there Alternatives that I can consider?
What is my Intuition saying?
What happens if I do Nothing?
Smile!
For example, if the care provider has recommended using artificial hormones like Oxytocin, to start labour artificially or to speed up labour, then note that this intervention interferes with the messaging system between the uterus and the brain and forces the uterus to do something it isn’t ready to do. And, because the brain is not getting the required information, the body stops producing the natural oxytocin and endorphins, resulting in more pain relief, which increases the risk of complications.
Of course, if it’s an emergency, then you need to let the medically trained professionals get on with it. However, if you (or your partner) ask whether you or the baby is in danger and they reply with ‘no’ or ‘we are not particularly happy with…’, then consider waiting a little longer. Use BRAINS!
Remember that all women and their cervix are different, so it’s important to weigh up the pros and cons of every decision you make about birth.
MamaSerene provides an in-depth handout at the hypnobirthing course, which goes into greater detail about each risk related to birth and is a great read for anyone who has been wondering about how to calculate risk.
So, now that you have more knowledge about the risks of labour and birth and the importance of relaxing through the process, below are some techniques you can practice at home to help you regain that control wherever and however you choose to give birth.
Breathing and relaxation
Breathing and relaxation is your biggest tool in the box because by nature, if you are breathing properly and in a relaxed way, you are not stressed or tense, and you are not initiating the fight-or-flight response. Breathing is going to make your contractions much more manageable, and encourage the hormones to do the job they need to do, which is to enable you to have a much calmer birth.
Again, it is important to note that hypnobirthing doesn’t guarantee you a natural birth – albeit it increases the chances, but it will help you have a more positive birth – even if you end up with a caesarean.
“If a birthing woman doesn’t look like a goddess – someone ain’t treating her right.” Ina May Gaskin
Breathing exercises
Hypnobirthing audio and music tracks
A great way to practice your breathing so that it feels more natural to go into a relaxed state during labour and birth is to listen to the hypnobirthing audio and music tracks, which are provided by MamaSerene in the hypnobirthing classes. The tracks help you stay relaxed by using post-hypnotic suggestions like “breathe, release and let go”, and when you hear these words, you are suggested to breathe deeply and let the tension go. You get three tracks, one which is all about Letting Go, which helps you to relax if you are feeling anxious about anything. It is also very helpful to listen to the Letting Go track when you are in early labour to make sure you are not holding onto anything emotionally.
The other track is a Labour Track, which you listen to when you are in the established/serious phase of labour. It helps you to focus on relaxing when contractions can get tough.
You are also provided with a track without the post-hypnotic suggestions so that if you don’t want to listen to the words, you can focus on the music. Dani Diosi also provides a track for those who are scheduled for a caesarean birth.
The MamaSerene vocal tracks provide those post-hypnotic suggestions to help you go into a very deep state of relaxation during labour and birth. Obviously, the more you practice, the easier it will be to go into this hypnotic state. MamaSerene advises you to listen to the tracks 2 to 3 times a week, building up to every day in the last couple of weeks of your pregnancy.
Avoid listening when you would normally go to sleep and remember that you may feel as though you are falling asleep during the relaxation session. But if you wake up at five (as MamaSerene counts from 1 to 5 to wake you up from the hypnosis state), then you are simply in a very deep state of relaxation. If you sleep, you are just giving your body what it needs. You can listen to any of the tracks during labour to help you stay relaxed and progress the birth naturally.
Practising breathing techniques with your partner
You can practice other great hypnobirthing breathing techniques with your birth partner as s/he will be your mouthpiece during the process of birth, which is why your birth partner should attend the hypnobirthing session with you so they learn what they would need to do to help you stay relaxed.
MamaSerene provides you with a handout containing two breathing exercises, one which is called Individual Breathing, where you sit together leaning against your birth partner. With your birth partner’s hands on your tummy, you begin by both relaxing and breathing gently. The exercise aims to notice the pace of your breathing. Did it differ from each other? Did you naturally breathe in sync with each other or were your breaths very different?
The second exercise is matching and pacing breathing where you sit together with your birth partner and this time your birth partner needs to pay attention to your breathing and match it in pace and breath. After a short while, you change to a more quickened breathing and your birth partner needs to exaggerate their breathing to encourage you to go back to breathing more deeply.
Matching and pacing breathing are great for established labour when you may lose focus, and your breathing will quicken. You want to stay away from adrenaline causing anxiety and focus on breathing deeply to encourage a more relaxed state, and you do this by matching your birth partner’s slow and deep breathing as much as possible.
A Positive Birth by DaddiLife Books* has an entire section dedicated to how dads can practice more breathing techniques alongside more relaxation scripts, anchors, and much more so they’re fully involved in the journey too.
Breathe, release, let go
Another way of encouraging the words, “Breathe, release and let go” to help you stay relaxed is to get your partner to say them when your breathing has quickened, and anxiety has set in during labour. If you have been listening to your hypnosis tracks, you should be able to use the post-hypnotic suggestions when the triggers words are said to go back into a deep state of relaxation.
Massaging techniques
You may love a good massage during labour, or you may not want to be touched. But some techniques like a vigorous rub down your back, bottom and legs can relieve tension and release adrenaline when you are in the height of a contraction. MamaSerene has a great handout, which shows how your birth partner can massage your back effectively to release tension. Your birth partner can massage the shoulders, back and buttocks, upper back and sacrum during or in between contractions.
MamaSerene showed hubby how to perform the ‘Pressure Wave’, which helps to release tension in between contractions. Your birth partner starts by gently sweeping across the eyebrows, then moving onto the temples. Then they move down the body to the shoulders, tops of arms, forearms, thighs, calves and top of feet before they sweep off.
Positive birth affirmations
At the hypnobirthing course hubby was asked to stand up, raise his left arm and repeat ten times:
“My arm is weak.”
After the repeated chant, Dani Diosi pushed his arm down, and it fell against the weight quite quickly
He was then asked to repeat ten times:
“My arm is strong and powerful.”
And when she pushed down again, she found it a lot more difficult to move his arm. Hubby didn’t even chant the words with force or intention. It was enough to repeat the words for the psychology to work. Positive affirmations work in the same way – the more you repeat the words, the more your mind will believe it.
Positive birth affirmations are specific to birth, and Dani Diosi provided us with some flashcards to take home with us and practice reading out loud. My favourite affirmations are:
I trust in my ability to give birth
I am confident in my ability to give birth naturally
My body will give birth in its own time
I allow my body’s natural anaesthesia to flow through my body
The power intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me because it is me.
I am ready and prepared for childbirth
I relax so my baby can relax
I trust my instincts to do what is best for my baby
I am a strong and capable woman
Babies are born when they are ready, not when doctors, midwives or anyone else decides
Creating a nest safe enough to give birth
It is so important that we note how different a hospital environment is to our natural home environment and how important it is to create a nest to feel safe enough to give birth. Having your pillow, T-shirt or favourite smells can induce the feeling of safety and make the environment intimate and private.
The nest can be reproduced in a hospital if you’re not giving birth at home. The essence of a positive birth is to mimic a private, intimate, dark nest coupled with the deep relaxation and mindset to make childbirth much calmer and more positive – think of how cats do it! Some ideas on how to build your nest are in the image below.
Putting it all together when labour and birth starts
There are three main phases during labour, and your birth partner should know the phase you are in so that s/he can help you accordingly.
Phase 1 – Excited Mama
This first phase is where your birth partner encourages you to stay at home and sets the atmosphere by notifying others that the process has started. Your birth partner can also fix you a good meal to keep your energy levels up and entertain you until you head to the next phase. Contractions can last between 30 and 45 seconds, every 15 minutes. It is important at this stage that your birth partner matches your mood here.
Phase 2 – Focused Mama
You can still stay at home for this phase, but your birth partner’s aim is to now offer things without you asking for them, as well as counting through your contractions and putting some of the positive affirmations, triggers and suggestions that you have prepared before labour and birth into practice now. Your birth partner can use the massage techniques learned during the hypnobirthing course and other mental distraction techniques such as visualising your special place to encourage a relaxed state. But your birth partner should be led by you at this stage.
Phase 3 – Doubtful Mama
This phase is all about your birth partner encouraging and praising you that you are so close to the end now. Words like “You are doing so well,” “Your breathing is so effective,” etc will help to motivate you to carry on. Get your birth partner to use one-word hypnobirthing visualisation techniques like a holiday or a happy memory and get him/her to count with you through the contractions.
Phase 4 – Getting the baby out
Here, it is important to breathe the baby down rather than push the baby out. Breathing into the bottom can be more effective, so your birth partner needs to encourage you to breathe if s/he can see that you’re holding your breath and pushing.
Phase 5 – Delivering the placenta
Get your birth partner to encourage the support staff around to keep the place warm, quiet, and undisturbed, as well as leaving the cord until it has stopped pulsating before cutting it. Your birth partner is your mouthpiece so make sure s/he knows your birth plan inside out.
Other ways to help relax during labour and birth
Breathing, listening to relaxing music, building your nest and getting your birth partner to help are key ways to relax during labour. Below are some other ways to prepare for a more positive experience:
Moving around in labour
Lying on your back for any length of time defies gravity and can work against the natural labour process, so moving around will help your baby get in a good position. For some other great techniques, visit www.spinningbabies.com.
Water
Being in warm water during labour can feel enjoyable and relaxing. Opt for a shower, bath or birthing pool to help relieve tension and encourage relaxation.
Auditory stimulus
Focusing on sounds such as music, the voice of your birthing partner, or environmental sounds can help you to ‘vocalise’ the contractions through hums, moans and groans. It can be a really powerful way to release the tension and relax the body.
Mindfulness colouring
In the handout pack, we received a mindfulness colouring book containing pictures related to labour and birth. I took about 30 minutes after a stressful day to colour in one image, and it relaxed my mind. Colouring can take your mind off the pain and focus on the beautiful colours and patterns which can take you to your happy place.
Dani Diosi is a fantastically enthusiastic and very clued up professional, who knows more than most about the physiology of positive labour and birth. She is patient, understanding and personable with a mountain of knowledge on how to encourage you to have a more positive labour and birth. We finished off the course watching a lovely video of the hypnobirthing experience in real life (which you can watch here) – I can’t wait to have my own hypnobirthing experience in just a few weeks!
For more comfort measures during labour and birth and information on what I have discussed above, please visit www.mamaserene.co.uk and book your hypnobirthing course with Dani Diosi now. (07855 478 175 / dani@mamaserene.co.uk)
*We were gifted MamaSerene’s Hypnobirthing Course in return for our honest review and I can say, hand on heart, it was one of the most informative and eye-opening courses I have ever attended. I would thoroughly recommend you do book a course with Dani Diosi so you can learn how to have a more positive labour and birthing experience. You will not be disappointed!*
Hypnobirthing for more positive labour and birth – Part 1 – Hypnobirthing
When thinking about hypnobirthing one would be forgiven for envisioning a Paul McKenna or Matt Lucas lookalike who will hypnotise you to have a five-minute natural birth.
“Look into my eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into my eyes. You’re under.”
The truth is hypnobirthing is about going into a hypnotic state, but not in the way you think. The stigma attached to the word ‘hypnosis’ stems from people’s perceptions thanks to media and well-known hypnotists like Derren Brown where it looks as if the subject is under complete control of the hypnotist and can be made to do embarrassing and scary things against their will.
This is not the case at all.
Instead, you are in a completely natural state, but you are still aware of what is going on around you. You have drifted off into a relaxing and suggestive zone, but you’re not asleep or under the control of someone else. It just means that your mind is unconnected to the activity that you are doing.
But, it all still sounds like hypnosis, right?
Yes, well, think about it like this.
When you drive to work or your kids to school, do you actively think about sticking your key in the ignition, placing your foot on the gas pedal, and driving from point A to point B? Or do you operate on autopilot?
Or when you’re making a cuppa, do you think about the process you go through while you are making your drink?
No, because you’ve done it so many times, you go through the motions like a robot. This is being in a hypnotic state.
Another example.
When you’re consciously trying to think of all the words to a song that you’ve heard many times, but you can’t remember them, and then, when the song comes on, you find you can sing all the words with ease. How are you doing that? You’re not actively remembering the words; you just seem to remember them when the song prompts you to dig out that memory.
One more example.
How about when you’re drifting off to sleep or you’re in the shower and you have the best idea for an article/project/song, etc? But when you come out of the situation, you were in you forget most of the vital bits of information because you forgot to write them down and now you’re trying to remember the details (I do this a lot, it’s so frustrating!)
In all the above situations, you were not asleep or under the control of someone else. Your mind drifted off to thoughts that were unconnected to the activity that you were doing.
You were in a hypnotic state.
So, how does hypnosis work?
Essentially, hypnosis revolves around the communication between your subconscious and your conscious mind, as well as the thoughts and actions that go along with them. The conscious part of your brain is the part which questions, analyses and rationalises things and situations. The subconscious part does everything else, i.e. stores the memories, emotions, physical functions, instincts, patterns of behaviour, language, and beliefs. Note in the image below how small the conscious part of your brain is, yet it is so powerful.
There are two different types of hypnosis and the one we dip in and out of naturally is called:
Natural Hypnosis
When we’re driving our car on autopilot and brushing our teeth, we’re in a natural hypnotic state and if nature had its way, we would live in a calm, non-pressurised society and be in a natural hypnotic state for approximately twenty minutes every hour and a half.
Intended hypnosis
Intended hypnosis is where you quieten the conscious part of your brain so you can communicate more effectively with your brain’s subconscious and emotional part. You use this type of hypnosis for a specific purpose, i.e. relaxation, pain management or overcoming a phobia or addiction. Intended hypnosis allows you to access the part of your mind that changes and reprogramming your brain to respond differently to a trigger (more on this later). It works when your subconscious mind is more receptive to relying on determination and will-power alone.
How and why does hypnosis work?
You can be taught to enter hypnosis because you are under your own control, and its positive effects are HUGE. Yet we have only scratched the surface of how beneficial being in a hypnotic state can be. There is growing clinical evidence to show the efficacy of hypnosis, where it has been scientifically proven to treat many medical and psychological conditions. Hypnosis works because:
It helps you to overcome your fears by re-programming your mind and changing your beliefs and patterns
It practices reinforcement of suggestions and creates new neural pathways
Post-hypnotic suggestions
Everything you do in life has a cause and an effect. For example, when the phone rings, you pick it up. When you’re thirsty, you reach for a drink. When you’re angry, you feel stressed, and when your baby cries, you instinctively want to pick him/her up.
A lot of your unwanted behaviour can also come from triggered responses that have been based on your experiences. For example, when you feel stressed, you eat, when you’re bored, you bite your nails etc. You may not even be sure why you have these triggered responses and, most times, you may feel it is nigh on impossible to change your reaction, which is why habits are hard to break. Hypnosis, unlike meditation, mindfulness, or straight relaxation, can allow you to go beyond the relaxation session and create major changes via post-hypnotic suggestions.
While you are in a relaxed, hypnotic state, the subconscious mind can listen to suggestive words and translate them into new ways of thinking and responding. This way you can help to retrain or reprogram your mind to provide a better/different response to the trigger, so a new cause and effect are created.
The hypnotic suggestions can be things related to what you’re doing during the hypnosis session, i.e. closing your eyes, imagining you are on a beach and relaxing your muscles etc. But, as real-life doesn’t allow you to close your eyes and relax as often as you hope, the post-hypnotic suggestions create the change and affect you need for when you are in those real-life situations.
(c) MamaSerene
And this is where the power of hypnobirthing comes in.
So, what is hypnobirthing and what has it got to do with helping you have a more positive labour and birth?
Notice that my title doesn’t say how hypnosis will increase your chances of having a natural birth because hypnobirthing, although it cannot guarantee that you will have a natural or an abdominal birth (I prefer MamaSerene’s word as caesarean sounds too clinical) it can increase your chances of having a positive birth. And this is not because hypnobirthing ‘hypnotises’ you to have a positive birth per se, but it encourages you to focus less on the pain of childbirth and more on the actual physiology of labour and birth itself by the power of post-hypnotic suggestion.
Intended Hypnosis allows you to do all the mental preparation for birth in advance so when you go into labour your body will automatically respond in the way you have instructed it to do, i.e. focusing on breathing and visualisation. And, as with anything, the more you practice, the more instinctive it becomes. The more you hear the post-hypnotic suggestions, the more your subconscious accepts them as reality, and when you go into labour (the trigger) the desired response will be quick and instinctive.
And THIS, my friends, is why the power of hypnotic suggestion during labour and childbirth can help you have a more positive labour and birth.
But first, you need to change your mindset so that you can start training your mind and body to work with you in labour and birth.
Mind over matter
My husband once suffered from terrible tooth pain and as it was a weekend, he could not have it fixed straight away. The temporary filling did nothing to ease the pain and by the end of the weekend, he had gone into a hypnotic state to get through it, via relaxed breathing and talking to his subconscious. He did this naturally (he would do wonderfully in childbirth!) but it literally was mind over matter that helped him manage the pain. He said that if he hadn’t gone into a hypnotic state, he would have gone mad.
The mind, if trained, can affect the body significantly, and a simple change in thoughts and emotions can stimulate the release of different hormones. Think about the physical responses you experience when you find someone attractive or the feeling you get when you watch a scary film. Have you ever shuddered at a distant, frightening memory? Even though these actions were not happening, a suggestion was made to the mind and body that manifested that feeling instantly and physically.
The same goes for someone like me who had a very traumatic first birth (you can find Aron’s story here), especially when I coupled the scary thoughts with all the negative connotations of labouring because of conflicting information on social media and the internet. I had a relatively peaceful second birth, but it’s my first that sticks out in my mind, even though it happened over a decade ago.
When you surround yourself with these negative images of labour and birth, it becomes part of your belief system which doesn’t come into fruition until you have babies of our own. Your thoughts race without even realising it, so the emphasis has to be made on reprogramming the brain and retraining it to believe that birth is a positive experience.
MamaSerene’s Hypnobirthing Course
This is where MamaSerene’s Hypnobirthing course comes in, created and run by the wonderful Dani Diosi, an experienced antenatal and childbirth educator, hypnotherapist and Doula – as well as a mum to three girls.
I received a lot of queries from pregnant women who wanted to learn more about whether hypnobirthing could offer them the birthing experience they wanted and were intrigued to find out whether I would try hypnobirthing in my 4th pregnancy to achieve my VBAC after two caesareans (I have one angel baby because of a late miscarriage).
I jumped at the chance and Dani kindly offered me to try the one-day course to help me retrain my brain to remove the negative aspect of birth because of my previous experience and think more positively about my impending birth of my baby girl.
If anything, I know that hypnobirthing teaches you life lessons, not just about how to experience more positive labour and birth. If you are aware of your negative thoughts in general, then you can change your behaviours from “I can’t” to “I can”. Funnily enough, it’s something I’ve tried to implement with my boys with very positive results. For example, “No, you can’t do that” or “Don’t do this” to “We can do it later,” or “if you do x then y will happen.”
The hypnobirthing course was fantastic and so very informative! We were provided with an extensive PowerPoint slide presentation all about the history of childbirth, and the stigma attached to labour and birth, as well as how hypnosis works to retrain the brain to overcome negative thoughts and achieve a more positive birthing experience.
We also practised some great techniques to help during labour and birth, like suggestive music, breathing exercises and massage that your birth partner can do during labour (in this case, hubby). And the great thing was that hubby got to learn so much more about the process of labour and birth and how he can help make it a more positive experience for me too.
The role of the birth partner during hypnobirthing is often not talked about enough, so you can also arm them with DaddiLife’s first ever book for dads on Hypnobirthing* recommended by The Royal College of Midwives. It’s packed full of information just for dad and contains a dad-specific toolkit to help him feel empowered along the birth journey.
We took away with us a handout full of great notes, along with a pen, notebook for notes and positive affirmations, which I’ll go into more detail Part 2 here: Preparing for labour and birth.
If you have any comments or questions about the above, please share in the comments below.
*I was gifted a hypnobirthing course by the lovely Dani Diosi of MamaSerene. It was a fantastic and very informative session and I would strongly suggest considering hypnobirthing if you are pregnant and you would like to explore natural ways of encouraging positive labour and birth. All thoughts are 100% my own.
*Links marked with a ‘*’ are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I may earn from qualifying purchases.
What you should know before you start your fertility treatment steps
If you have difficulties conceiving, and you have been trying for at least six months to get pregnant, then now may be the time to consider fertility treatment steps. Trying for a baby can be a challenging time, especially if you have been dealing with infertility that are inhibiting your chances of getting pregnant.
So it is essential that you do your research and know what to expect before embarking upon the next stage of fertility treatment. Many couples try to conceive naturally for months or even years before they seek alternative options, by which point they plan and schedule their sex around cycles and ovulation. If you are considering getting in touch with a fertility doctor so that you can discuss fertility treatment options, then it is important to know what to expect.
For many couples, having difficulties conceiving can cause feelings of loss and loneliness, and with infertility still being very much a taboo subject, many suffer alone in this emotional experience. Remember that you are not alone (1 in 6 couples in the UK suffer from infertility), so it is OK to talk to your friends and family about your fertility issues, or obtain infertility support. You may be surprised that many people in your life can relate to your situation. Another couple’s journey through infertility may be different, but below is what you should know before you start your fertility treatment steps.
Get an insight into your fertility with an accurate at-home test and check your female hormone levels from the privacy of your own home. Code below!
Male factor infertility can account for 37% of cases, as opposed to 31% for women, so it is crucial that you don’t blame yourself or your partner for your fertility issues. While these problems may be caused by one individual, it can sometimes be a combination of reasons that have led to you both being unable to naturally conceive together.
Placing the blame on your partner may erode at your relationship, so don’t forget that you’re a team and that you’re in it together. Think of fertility as a journey that you both need to take to get your desired baby.
If you decide to go ahead with fertility treatment, then both you and your partner will need to have your fertility investigated, as this will help the fertility specialist provide you with the best treatment plan going forward.
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When you are trying for a baby, you may find that your entire life is scheduled around cycles, ovulation, periods, and fertility appointments. While it is natural for your focus to be on your fertility treatment and trying to keep on top of all the doctor’s appointments, try not to let fertility treatment control your life.
Of course, it’s challenging to focus on anything else during this time, so find a way for you and your partner to relax and de-stress. This may include going for a long walk, taking a weekend away somewhere remote, or getting into yoga. Stress is a significant factor in inhibiting ovulation, which can reduce your chances of conceiving. So reducing the stress in your life can increase your chances of conceiving.
There are a range of fertility options available
There are many options available to you during fertility treatment, and your fertility specialist will advise you on the best possible treatments for your fertility journey. When people think about fertility treatment, they often assume that the IVF process is the only option available.
However, you may be eligible for other treatments, like egg donation, hormone therapy or Intrauterine Insemination Treatment (IUI). IUI is where sperm is placed inside the uterus hoping to increase the number of sperms that make it into the fallopian tubes to achieve fertilisation. IUI fertility treatment is available in the UK at fertility specialist clinics such as King’s Fertility, which has been helping couples conceive since 1983.
Your medical professional will conduct a fertility test to determine which fertility treatment is right for you.
Get an insight into your egg reserve with LetsGetChecked's Ovarian Reserve test.
How you live your life can have a significant impact on your fertility. While fixing your lifestyle may not be a guaranteed fix, achieving a healthier lifestyle can improve your chances of getting pregnant. If you are overweight, then you should consider reducing your BMI through a balanced diet and regular exercise.
Not only will this improve your overall health, and possibly increase your fertility, it will also make you feel less stressed, which helps to increase your chances of getting pregnant. Adopt fertility boosting foods in your diet like folic acid, calcium, whole grains and zinc and make sure your man is ingesting these vital food groups too!
Unsuccessful treatment doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you
Fertility treatment isn’t for everyone, and there is not always a guaranteed chance of success. So, if the range of options available to you don’t work, then this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you or your partner. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done about infertility, and there is no real explanation for it. Even though it can be tough to hear that you won’t be able to conceive, it is important not to feel at fault. Think about considering other options like adoption or fostering as there are lots of children out there who are looking for mothers (and fathers) like you to give them a happy home.
Undergoing fertility treatment is a demanding process, so take plenty of time to consider your next steps with your partner, so you are both aware of what to expect throughout the journey. And, remember, if treatment doesn’t work, don’t look to blame each other, but work together as a team. Keep check of your diet and lifestyle and adopt healthy choices to increase your chances of getting pregnant.
LetsGetChecked can help you understand your hormonal health with their female fertility testing options. Collect your sample from home and you'll receive accurate results within 2-5 days of the lab receiving your sample
Exercising during pregnancy comes with all sorts of benefits, as long as you don’t overdo it. And, if you have been diagnosed with pregnancy-related symptoms, then your doctor may advise against exercise altogether.
So, unless you are having a complicated pregnancy and/or your doctor has advised bed rest for the duration of the nine months, walking is known to be the best form of exercise because it is gentle on the body and great for the lungs and heart. Walking is great at any point in your life, but here are some benefits of walking during pregnancy:
You only need a great pair of walking shoes
It’s a cheap way of getting fit because all you need is proper footcare and some ground to walk on. During pregnancy, your feet will require a lot of support and plenty of ventilation, so opt for a specialist trainer that ticks all the boxes, like the like Wolkyshop’s e -walk trainer. The E-Walk is made from a special soft stretch leather and has a Roll-a-Way system that allows for automatic foot rolling action from heel to toe – perfect for those tired pregnant feet that are carrying a little extra weight.
The E-Walk will also fully adjust itself to the foot during pregnancy due to the lace design, and the breathable material will ventilate your feet during your walk, which means you can travel in comfort while walking long distances. Watch the video here to find out more about the E-Walk and see it in action too.
Walking is a safe form of exercise
You may be wondering when to start walking during pregnancy. The great answer is you can start straight away! Walking is a gentle cardiovascular exercise so it is safe during pregnancy for the entire nine months. It is also one of the easier forms of exercise to get started with if you weren’t active before you got pregnant.
Make sure to start slowly at first if you haven’t walked before, and work your way up to brisk walks, increasing the length of time slowly. You only need to walk around twenty to thirty minutes, five to seven times a week provided your doctor has given you the go-ahead to do so.
Make sure to also stay cool and hydrated during your walk and slow down when you feel your body temperature rising, which can sometimes bring on contractions, due to dehydration. One tip is to freeze half a bottle of water and then add cold water before you walk so that your bottle stays cold throughout and you stay hydrated. After your walk, make sure you put your feet up and rest to prevent swollen feet and ankles. Cool your legs with Mama Mio’s Lucky Legs Cooling Gel, which contains spearmint to provide you with that instant cooling relief. Keep Lucky Legs in your handbag too so you can cool your legs down during your walk!
Walking helps you ease into each trimester
You may experience a nagging headache during pregnancy, or other unfavourable symptoms like constipation. But, the biggest symptom is your growing bump, which may disrupt your overall balance. As long as you are wearing supportive shoes like the E-Walk, which is perfect for keeping your feet comfortable and protected as your feet get bigger, then you should be able to walk safely during pregnancy. Here are some other tips that you should follow when walking during pregnancy:
Avoid uneven terrain or hiking
Your walking regimen should be consistent and efficient, but pregnancy is the time to limit hiking trails/paths that could put you off balance. The flatter the ground the safer the walk. You may also feel safer picking a track that you know so that you can get help quickly in case of an emergency.
Support your pregnant bump
Your bump will bounce up and down as you walk, which may contribute to a sore lower back and painful ligaments. A belly support band will help to keep the bump in place and support the lower back too when you walk.
Maintain good form
It is a good idea to maintain a good form during walking from the offset to minimise painful side effects, especially during pregnancy. When walking, make sure to keep your head up and shoulders back to avoid a sore back. A belly support band will also help you to maintain a good stance during your walks.
Keep people informed of where you are going
In case of emergencies, it is important to let someone know when and where you are walking, as well as when you plan to return from your walk, so people will know how to get to you in case of an emergency. It is also a good idea to keep your phone with you at all times, with the ringer on and ready to call your closest contacts.
Stay safe
It is important to be able to see the route that you are walking on, so it’s safer to walk during daylight or on brightly lit roads. This is so you avoid stumbling due to not being able to see where you are going.
Is too much walking bad during pregnancy?
The most important skill you have to hand is the ability to listen to your body. Your body will tell you if you’re pushing yourself too hard. Look out for aches and pains, as well as signs of fatigue. If your body is too exhausted it will be unable to repair itself fully and this will leave you vulnerable to injury and illness. Do not walk to the point of exhaustion or breathlessness. A good rule of thumb is that you should be able to talk easily when walking. Overheating and a heart rate that is too high can become dangerous to you and the baby during pregnancy. You’ll have plenty of time to work off those calories after you’ve given birth!
Gentle and consistent exercise like walking is important during pregnancy because it keeps your body strong and prepared for labour/birth. If you have any pregnancy-related problems, like spotting/bleeding, make sure to consult your doctor first to find out whether you are able to walk during pregnancy.
What are your tips for effective walking during pregnancy? Share your advice in the comments below.
Summer is here and so is the heat (finally!) But, when you’re pregnant, you may not welcome the sun as much as others, especially when you’re in your second or third trimester. Thanks to hormonal changes, you may feel even hotter and sweatier than normal due to an increased blood supply. Plus, carrying a heavy bump around takes energy and energy creates heat. Overheating during pregnancy can make you tired, uncomfortable, and, worse, dehydrated. So it’s important to take precautions and keep your cool while you’re pregnant. Motherhood Diaries has come up with some tips on how to cope with the heat during pregnancy.
Have water at your disposal
It’s so important to keep hydrated to prevent heat-related symptoms like heat stroke. Heat stroke in pregnancy can be dangerous, so experts recommend consuming at least eight glasses of water per day to ensure good temperature control, better cognitive function and an overall happier mood. Keep a water bottle with you at all times and don’t be afraid to carry a spritzer of cool water as well to help you cool down when you venture outside. Cool feet is also essential in regulating temperature control, so consider dipping them in a paddling pool or a cool foot spa. Other tips can be to place a cold wet flannel on your forehead and the nape of the neck or run your wrists under a cold tap to cool down your pulse points. A nice cool shower or bath can lower your body temperature too – and it feels nice!
Use cooling agents to relieve tired and hot body parts
A spritz of water to the face or some cooling gel on the legs and arms can cool down a body quickly during the summer. During pregnancy, feet, ankles and legs can become swollen due to the extra fluid in the body and the pressure from the growing uterus. The extra pressure causes more energy which results in your body heating up. So try cooling agents like Mama Mio’s Lucky Legs Cooling Leg Gel to relieve tired, heavy legs and cool down swollen feet and ankles. Lucky Legs contains spearmint which provides instant cooling relief and helps to reduce puffiness in both legs and feet. Lucky Legs is also small enough to fit in your handbag, so make sure you carry it around with you for cool pins wherever you go!
Put your feet up
You can also prevent swollen feet and hands by trying to keep your feet elevated when you can, although avoid going outside if temperatures exceed 30C. If you must go outside, try to do so in the early morning or near dusk, and keep certain outdoor activities to a minimum, like gardening, which should be avoided in the latter pregnancy stages anyway!
Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep
You won’t be getting through the hot days with a smile if you’ve missed out on essential sleep. Often, during the latter stages of pregnancy, you may find yourself more comfortable sleeping without a partner, to give you a chance to stretch out or hug a pregnancy pillow to ease back pain. Consider investing in a new mattress to sleep in a different room from your partner, particularly if he likes to snore! You’ll soon be up at all hours thanks to night time feeds, so make the most of sleep while you can.
Wear light coloured clothing
How you dress can drastically impact on your comfort during the summer. Wear light, stretchy fabrics made of organic materials such as cotton to allow your skin to breathe. Colour is important too – darker colours are more likely to absorb the heat from the sun, so try to wear white or yellow. Pregnancy is the one time where you can get away with less than flattering looks anyway, so make the most of it!
Other things to think about
There are other things you can do to keep yourself cool this summer, like sticking to eating chilled foods, like salads, fruit and vegetables which have a high water content and have the occasional ice lolly or ice cream to help you cool down. Stay in the shade and take a break from sunbathing, especially when you’re pregnant. Wear a hat or keep a mini umbrella in your bag if the sun is too strong. Swimming is also a great way to stay cool and it doubles up as exercise too!
Remember to wear a good high factor with an SPF of at least 30 and keep drinks and snacks with you at all times. Pair them with some Lucky Legs and some well-earned rest with your feet up and you’ve got yourself a pretty chilled pregnant summer!
If you want to look like a glowing, sun-kissed mama, then you may want to reach for that self-tanner in your bathroom. Everyone knows that too much sun exposure is not suitable for pregnant women, but what about self-tanners? Is it safe to use self-tanner while pregnant? Studies have not yet proven that self-tanners are 100% secure to use. That means you should be cautious about using self-tanning products. Here’s what you need to know about these quick and easy bronzing solutions.
What is Self-Tanner?
Self-tanners are known as the foams, lotions, and sprays that are commonly found in beauty supply stores, drug stores, and pharmacies. Self-tanning products are applied to the skin to make it appear darker without sun exposure. You may experience a gradual tan or an overnight one, depending on the product. Dihydroxyacetone (DHA) is the active ingredient in these products, which gives your skin an instant tan.
This DHA shouldn’t be confused with docosahexaenoic acid, which is a healthy omega-3 fatty acid that’s found in dietary supplements and most foods. This DHA is derived from plants such as sugar beets and sugar cane and is considered a non-toxic skin-enhancing agent.
The FDA approved the use of DHA self-tanners in the U.S. in the 1970s. Most self-tanners on the market contain three to five per cent of DHA, while professional products used at tanning salons contain five to 15% of DHA. The higher the amount, the faster and darker your tan.
This tan typically lasts for about a week as your old skin sheds, and the new skin appears. You’ll have to repeatedly use it if you want to prolong your tan. Self-tanners do not contain SPF, which means you can use sunscreen and self-tanner together.
Do Self-Tanners Get Absorbed into the Bloodstream?
While DHA hasn’t been thoroughly researched, it’s been reported that only one-half out of one per cent of DHA enters the bloodstream whenever you apply self-tanner to your skin. There are no studies to prove whether this amount enters the placenta and affects the baby’s circulation. That means there’s little evidence to determine if self-tanners are fine to use during pregnancy. Pregnant women should take precautions when using self-tanner, especially there isn’t data to back up whether it’s dangerous or not.
What About Tanning Booths that Use Self-Tanners?
The FDA had to crack down on the use of DHA for topical application only. They have yet to approve the use of DHA in spray tanning products. These products should be kept away from mucous membranes, such as the ears, eyes, lips, mouth, and nose. This is difficult to do when you’re visiting a tanning salon. However, you find it wears to protect your ears, eyes, mouth, and nose to prevent the chemical from entering your body.
Do Self-Tanners Cause Birth Defects?
No proof shows that self-tanners cause birth defects. While self-tanner is okay to use, it’s been reported that small amounts of DHA absorb into the bloodstream. The only way that DHA could affect the baby is that if it enters through the placenta. If you inhale self-tanning sprays at home or in a tanning salon, or if you apply to one of your mucous membranes, then larger amounts of DHA could enter the bloodstream. No research proves the safety of self-tanners during pregnancy.
Can Using Self-Tanners Make It Harder to Get Pregnant?
There is also no data that proves that using self-tanners make it harder to get pregnant, especially since a small amount of DHA enters the bloodstream. This is only the case if you take tanning pills, which contain a high amount of canthaxanthin. In conclusion, there are no studies that show self-tanners make it challenging to become pregnant.
When it comes to men, there’s not enough data that shows self-tanning products lead to birth defects. But the increase in body temperature can decrease the sperm count. So, it’s essential for men to not become overheated while using self-tanning products. This exposure does not mean that men will impact the risks of pregnancy.
So, what’s the verdict? Is it safe to use self-tanner while pregnant? While self-tanners can provide you with the tan you need, more research needs to be done on whether they are safe for pregnant women.
As always, you should take precautions when using any beauty product. Read the ingredients and do thorough research on the product. Ask your doctor before using any self-tanners during your pregnancy.
More specifically, what is infertility, and how do you know whether you are experiencing fertility issues?
Fertility is:
“The quality of being fertile; productiveness.”
“The ability to conceive children or young.”
You may be surprised to learn that fertility issues effect 3.5 million people in the UK – that’s 1 in 6! It seems like a high statistic, doesn’t it, especially when you peg that ratio against the number of people who suffer from diabetes (1 in 17) and asthma (1 in 12). Many of the population go through fertility struggles, and 67% of those find infertility to be more or as stressful as getting divorced. So, taking charge of your fertility can be difficult.
But why?
Well, to understand why fertility causes huge stress on many couples, we must understand where this stress is likely to come from.
Get an insight into your fertility with an accurate at-home test and check your female hormone levels from the privacy of your own home. Code below!
In school, you are taught about contraception to stop you from getting pregnant, and that one day, you will grow up to have children like your mum and dad. You then spend half your life making sure you have safe sex, and then when you are ready to have a child, it is a matter of finding the right person and then trying for a baby.
Easy, right?
Not quite.
Unfortunately, life isn’t as black and white as that. We are not taught in school about what happens after contraception, more specifically about how small the window of opportunity actually is to conceive a child. In fact, most couples have a 15% to 25% chance of getting pregnant in a particular month, and the small window lasts about six days! That percentage doesn’t even take into consideration factors that may affect fertility, so most women who grow up thinking they will become a mum feel a massive blow if they are then deprived of that opportunity.
And, we don’t talk about the cultural pressures that some couples experience too. In African, Chinese or Asian families, there is a huge expectation to become pregnant. And, because fertility is rarely discussed, men and women often suffer in silence, which then sparks a lengthy and isolated struggle about figuring out what to do next and how to get pregnant fast.
In this situation, do you go to a fertility specialist or continue to try conceiving yourself at home? And when you speak to a GP who then refers you to a hospital for further treatment, what next? The dream of being able to have a child drifts away from you, bringing about a sense of failure, shame, and despair. And it’s those sorts of emotions that couples feel when they enter the world of fertility.
My husband and I have struggled with fertility issues too
I paid little attention to my fertility when I was in my twenties, as we seemed to conceive our two boys at the drop of a hat. In fact, I was convinced that my second one was a miracle birth! But, when we tried for our third in our thirties, things massively changed for us. We thought it would be so simple to do the deed and get pregnant soon after – job done!
But, in reality, it took us around three years to get pregnant (we actively tried in the last year, by planning the best time to get pregnant with minute intricacy and using an elaborate fertility calendar) and we finally got pregnant with our little girl, Poppy. She sadly died at 16 weeks due to a PPROM (Premature Prenatal Rupture of Membranes), and it took us a further 14 months to get pregnant with our fourth.
During that time, we had suffered a whole host of emotions because we didn’t factor changes to our fertility after miscarriage. We felt regret at leaving it so late to try for our third and fourth, frustration that I would see my period every month, stress because we had to plan our nights in together around the kids, anger because hubby and I had turned on each other, and pain because we desperately tried to fill the void of our beloved Poppy.
Finally, we experienced relief and received a positive pregnancy result, but it was not a smooth ride to get there. The amount of research I had crammed into those four years were enough to fill a book (watch this space!), and, without receiving medical help to conceive, we got pregnant when I was 37 years old.
We realise now that we suffered from secondary infertility, which means that we were unable to get pregnant or carry a baby to term after having a baby (or two in our case). We had told ourselves that if we didn’t get pregnant in the 15th month of trying after the loss of our baby girl, then we would seek fertility counselling, but we succeeded, and now we are currently awaiting our rainbow baby in a few short months.
We’re not alone
The problem is that infertility is a lot more common than you realise, and these problems create immense pressure emotionally on couples in their personal and work life. Fertility isn’t really understood because it is generally not talked about, which then creates further stress. Women often feel confused, alone and unsure of what is going on or what probable cause of action to take next.
So, why is it so hard to get pregnant?
It may be interesting to note that a significant factor of fertility issues is male factor infertility, which makes up for 37% of reasons couples turn to fertility treatment like IVF, followed by 32% of unexplained fertility cases and 31% of fertility issues coming from female infertility. This actually shows how significant the male’s role is in this whole process, which is probably hugely underestimated because it isn’t spoken about.
And studies show that there is an increasing trend in the prevalence of sperm abnormalities, confirming a link between the male’s age and deterioration of sperm. So age is another factor to watch out for, for both males and females. And it’s interesting that just because the woman carries the baby, in most cases, she may not be the reason for the fertility issue in the first place.
But, I feel for men here. They feel like the one thing they should be able to do is to provide the sperm to make the baby, and when they can’t, they feel shameful. They then retreat into their world of work, and it really becomes a stressful situation for both the woman and the man. And when trying for a baby, they often have the added pressure of having to perform on the clock, which can’t be easy for them either!
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Couples often then turn to fertility treatment, but this can be a struggle upon itself
You can try to get pregnant for months, if not years, before you finally turn to medical intervention (like TrioFertility) to help. You try to fix the problem by searching for the best fertility treatments and the best clinics using research that you have conducted yourself, but it often becomes a sense of running around like a headless chicken, trying to find a way out of the predicament you are in.
And, the problem is you can’t control this feeling. There isn’t necessarily a fix that will tie up all the loose ends, and this is probably one reason fertility issues can become more stressful than divorce. At least with a divorce, you can chat about it with your friends and family who will understand. But how many times have you spoken to your friends and family about your struggles to have a baby?
Therefore, women and men become very introverted, frightened that you won’t get pregnant, hopeful that you may get pregnant the next month and despair when it doesn’t happen again. And this vicious cycle of emotions feeds the stress and depression that comes along with the need to find fertility treatments because you are trying to put something right, which feels inherently wrong.
Fertility treatments can increase anxiety and stress in a relationship
It is not surprising, then, that 69% of people find pursuing fertility treatments stressful. Fertility treatments can become emotionally, physically, practically and financially draining, especially when you aren’t sure of what to do and where to go to fix this problem of not being able to get pregnant.
Appointments can become expensive and time-consuming, and you can start to feel very distressed and wound up if treatment isn’t working. These knockbacks can place further stress on the relationship, with men often detaching themselves from the situation because they are natural fixers, and they can’t fix this situation. Women like to talk about it but often can’t because it’s hidden grief and they fear what will be said to them if they do speak up. And, if they do, they will likely hear the same words:
“It’s ok, you’ll be fine. You’ll get there.”
But it isn’t fine, and it isn’t ok. Is it?
Which is why some couples stop treatment eventually
Ongoing fertility issues can damage a relationship. Life is held in limbo while you put your all into the treatment cycle, your lives dominated by juggling appointments around personal and work life. And you are often unsure of what will happen next. Sometimes medical staff don’t get back to you, and this whole uncertainty goes back to friends and family potentially not understanding what you are going through and the massive impact this process has on both of your lives.
And, if a particular treatment isn’t working then all that money, hard work and juggling were for nothing. There is this huge lack of control over the whole fertility treatment system, which is why 65% of people often decide to stop treatment. Not because they want to, but because they have exhausted every avenue they knew possible to achieve a pregnancy, and they had no will or money left to carry on.
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Even though IVF makes up 93% of fertility treatment in the UK, it is clear that the way it is being offered to couples is not practical or digestible. There needs to be a hand-holding process that enables you to understand where you stand, what treatments are available, and how you can access the best help along your journey to fertility.
Apricity understands that fertility is not a destination but a journey
Apricity is a virtual fertility clinic that has developed a new way of experiencing fertility while improving your chances to conceive via Artificial Intelligence. Apricity wants to tackle the murky journey through fertility with fresh eyes, starting fertility treatment with the knowledge they now have on the medical side, but with new technology that will empower a new service.
This new approach will allow you to visualise your journey and understand the options you have available through access to educational materials, so you are never kept in the dark again. Apricity offers the following:
Excellence
Apricity wants to deliver first-class treatment to optimise your chances of success. Apricity only hires the best fertility specialists in the field, as they are not a physical clinic themselves or a team of doctors, but they partner with existing fertility clinics whom they select using a meticulous vetting process.
Apricity implements several factors to ensure these fertility clinics have an excellent patient experience rating on the HEFA website of 4.5 stars or more out of 5. They also look at live birth rates, which have to be consistent with the national average as well. Apricity’s partner clinics perform 4,600 embryo transfers in a year, and partners include the Harley Street Fertility Clinic, King’s Fertility, Cheshire Reproductive Medicine, The Doctor’s Laboratory and The Poundbury Clinic.
Apricity has also created a partner network of embryologists, nurses, holistic therapists, counsellors and patient representatives from Fertility Network, which is the leading patient support charity for fertility. All research created is evidence-based (based on the largest fertility database in the world), so you are provided with the best knowledge possible when learning about your personal fertility journey.
Care
Apricity uses the best care possible and will evaluate your chances of success before going through treatment. Apricity work to understand what is the best approach and how to better that treatment throughout your journey.
Empowerment
You often feel like you are drowning in differing advice and what you really need is for someone to say, “Look let’s just talk through where you are at and where you need to go now,” which is what is missing in this fertility world. You are often left on your own to come up with your own solutions, but where do those solutions come from?
They’re not scientifically based, but at the time you think that it’s the best cause of action. Apricity enables you to feel empowered through the whole fertility treatment process. There will always be a doctor in the driving seat, but at least you will feel like you can co-pilot the journey as well, understanding the options available and having clear cut knowledge on each path.
“Sharing your values for support and transparency, Apricity is changing the way fertility is accessed…” Blair McPhee, CEO Fertility Network
Apricity’s app
Apricity has brought out an app which provides you with an all-around experience of your fertility journey. The app offers reminders of what you have to do, notifications and useful documents related to your unique fertility journey. For example, if you require injections at a particular time, the app will remind you.
You will also receive assistance and guidance, as well as notification of appointment reminders, which will help to reduce stress. You will be provided with an overview of your fertility journey, i.e. different phases, a calendar view, day by day reminders, medication and appointment details. There is a vast content database for support and guidance sent at the right time so you won’t feel overwhelmed with too much information and you will know what is going on ahead of the journey.
Fertility advisors are available seven days a week, which means that rather than having to coordinate your own appointments, answer your own questions and liaise with clinics yourself, the advisors are there to hold your hand. They will make sure you receive results and reminders when you should have them and arrange everything with you via the app. A dedicated advisor will be appointed to you, and you can message them with questions or queries you have.
All advisors have received fertility training and are qualified to a nurse healthcare assistant level. They may not answer all your clinical questions (as the actual clinics do this), but they offer that extra support layer the fertility journey is so lacking in the UK.
And the app is continuously developing, using an algorithm which learns from anonymised patient data every time information is added. So, Apricity’s app will become more on point with their support and guidance to you when you need it.
But why Apricity?
“The support and care you receive is priceless, such a good and caring team that goes above and beyond.”
With Apricity you’ll receive all-inclusive packages, which includes bundled together treatment cycles, scans which are arranged locally, and home blood testing kits which means you’ll reduce the number of times you’ll have to attend a clinic. Apricity even offers a scheme with AXA PPP healthcare, which provides a chance for your employer to pay for everything up to a certain amount. You’ll receive a fast-tracked service to treatment so there will be no waiting times and lists.
“I could have not gone through this process without the App.”
So, how do I get started?
Head over to Apricity’s website now and set up your free one-hour consultation, which is part of all the packages Apricity provides. During that call, Apricity will gauge where you are at during your journey and offer a personalised package suitable to your situation. Some factors may affect your chances of fertility treatment, but this will be stipulated by Apricity, who will then refer you to the necessary pre-treatment phase. For example, if your BMI is too high, then you may be referred to a nutritionist to look at your health and set up a plan, which will help you to maximise your chances of a positive result following fertility treatment.
LetsGetChecked can help you understand your hormonal health with their female fertility testing options. Collect your sample from home and you'll receive accurate results within 2-5 days of the lab receiving your sample
Two women I spoke to at length at Apricity’s launch event mentioned how they had given up trying to get pregnant, and I learned a whole different side of fertility – the part where you don’t get the baby in the end. It was sad to hear, but these women finally felt relief letting go of their struggles to conceive. In one woman’s case, she wasn’t able to get an embryo transfer as the lining in her uterus wouldn’t cooperate.
The couple were told that they would never carry a child because her womb was too damaged to sustain a pregnancy. She is writing a book about it and all power to her because there aren’t enough books out there that offer support for couples when the fertility journey doesn’t work. Apricity’s app is there for women when treatments don’t work, by providing support before, during and after treatment. Apricity will provide counselling support whenever needed.
If you are struggling with fertility issues, then please don’t hesitate to contact Apricity to get your free consultation phone call or call +44 (0) 115 824 3928 now.
*I attended a launch event by Apricity, but all thoughts and opinions are 100% my own
*Links marked with a ‘*’ are affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases
Benefits of using public transport over the car during the summer holidays
We recently came back from North Cyprus and used an airport car parking service to park our car at Gatwick Airport’s car parking site for the week. However, my husband and I couldn’t help but think we should have taken the train instead for that all-around immersive travel experience for the kids. I can count the number of times on one hand that my boys (7 and 8) have used the train or the bus, which makes me wonder whether I should teach them the advantages of using public transport over the car on some occasions. With the help of other bloggers, below are some benefits of using public transport rather than the car during the summer holidays.
What is public transport?
Public transport (otherwise known as mass transport, mass transportation or public transportation services) is the transport of passengers by a group of travel systems which are available for use by the general public. Public transportation is typically managed via a schedule, and you are charged a fee for each trip.
Types of public transport include:
Buses
Trams (or light rail)
Passenger trains
Rapid transit (metro/subway/underground)
Ferries
Airlines
Coaches
Intercity/high speed/overground rail
So why take public transport rather than the car?
There are several public transportation benefits, some of which you can find below:
You can enjoy the journey to the destination
Taking public transportation means that you or your other half don’t have to drive to your destination. Instead, you can use that time, to read, work, study, or simply watch life passing you by. It’s a great way to just sit back, relax and enjoy the sights and sounds around you.
“When I drive, I tend to miss out on some of the sights and sounds around me. It’s so nice to be able to relax on a bus or a train and take it all in!”
“If you are travelling by train you can sit back, relax and have a glass of wine! Book a table and play board games with the kids on a long journey. Train journeys are exciting and part of the fun of the holiday!”
Parking can be an absolute nightmare, especially during the summer holidays when other family goers are fighting for car parking spots. Take the initiative and don’t pay through the teeth for expensive parking spots. Instead, use the money on public transport which can take you to where you want to go instead. If you buy one-day travelcards, you may even be able to save more money in the long run.
“Parking. You’re not having to battle for spaces or pay for the privilege of parking in the best places either. Plus my kids love the bus and train.”
Public transport teaches the kids excellent life skills
It’s essential that kids get a sense of how to navigate public transport on their own. Get them involved in the decision-making process, for example, working out where you need to go, buying the ticket and navigating the map, so they understand the right path to follow to get on the right train.
“It’s such a good life skill for the children. I hadn’t realised that by 7 and 9 my two hadn’t really ever been on public transport, so had no idea about bus stops, train stations, how to buy tickets, how to read timetables etc. So now we use public transport during the holidays to help them understand how to use it! Such a great skill for when they are older.”
“My boys often miss out on bus and train rides as we drive everywhere. So we often take a couple of trips during the summer using public transport as it’s good for them to know how to use it too.”
When you’re driving in the car, you are unable to actively participate with your children. Travelling via public transport leaves you time to talk to them about the holiday, get to know their feelings and emotions, and even play games that they can dictate, so they feel like they have some control in the journey.
Some public transport games can include snakes and ladders, cards, activity sheets/packs, colouring books or even just the age-old ‘I spy’. The kids will love it!
“You don’t have to worry about paying for parking, congestion charges etc. It’s much fun to use public transport because you can engage more with the kids, enjoy the view together and read road signs.”
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“You can give your kids your undivided attention if you’re on public transport, rather than just a fleeting glance in the rearview mirror. This is definitely a huge plus for my kids – especially on long journeys.”
The streets can be packed full of holiday goers trying to get to their desired destination. The advantages of taking public transport are that you tend to bypass those traffic jams, which helps ease congestion too.
“The roads can get so busy during the summer. We like to travel by train or bus as this can avoid the hassle of sitting in queues. Buses tend to have designated bus lanes to avoid the queues and trains bypass this all together. My son loves to go on public transport, and it can also save us money in the long run.”
Public transportation is better for the environment
If you’re not commuting in your own personal vehicle, then you are automatically helping the environment. Public transport reduces CO2 emissions, as well as the stress of being stuck in those pesky traffic jams too!
“It’s better for the environment, if you’re getting the train you won’t get caught up in traffic. It’s often cheaper than driving. You can get up and stretch your legs and walk to the loo whenever you want!”
Travelling via public transport is an activity within itself!
Kids love doing something different, and if you’ve always travelled by car, then they will love travelling by bus or train. As mentioned above, involve them in the process of buying the ticket, navigating the map and encouraging them to enjoy the scenery around them. It is incredible how much they will learn about the world around them when they can sit back and enjoy with their parents guiding them.
“Obviously it’s better for the environment, but my kids find it an activity in itself! They’re excited about going on a bus or a train, they’re excited about the activity we’re heading to, and they’re excited on the way home too. It’s a fun way to travel!”
“It’s a real treat for my boys to go on the bus or the train. They love it we can go on the top deck of a bus and sit at the front so they can pretend they’re driving!”
You can gain real experience into how the locals live
Travelling by bus or train encourages the family to see how the locals live as you get to people-watch in their own digs as you pass by.
“To get a real and authentic experience of how local people and communities live. It’s a fantastic way for all the family to learn about and engage with locals and better understand a country.“
Car journeys can be frustrating – and claustrophobic
Car journeys can feel claustrophobic as you’re tied down with seatbelts throughout the trip, and you can hardly move. You also have to make sure you have bought everything with you on the journey, and make sure you are navigating the roads correctly. Public transport can take the pain away by letting the vehicle take you to your destination while you only worry about enjoying the sights with your family.
“This way or that way? 173 spare nappies or 174? Summer hat, winter hat or both? Try and keep the milk warm or heat it up somewhere on the way? Leave early in the morning or late at night? A1 or M1? Hourly shifts or swap when we’re tired? So many questions, so little chance of choosing the right answers to any of them.”
If you’ve booked a holiday and you require transport to get partway to your journey, then think about booking in advance for discounted travel tickets. Off-peak tickets tend to be cheaper too, so consider this when planning your trip to your destination.
Using public transport comes with several benefits, especially for families, because parents get to sit back and enjoy the travel experience with their children, as well as have a hand in helping the environment as well! So, if you are booking your tickets for your summer holidays, think about incorporating public transport into your journey for a jam-packed fun experience for the whole family to enjoy!
*Collaborative feature post*
Top five European Countries for Egg Donation
By Alexsander Wiecki, Egg Donation Friends
Infertility affects one in eight women globally. It is a growing health issue, but fortunately, modern medicine has provided solutions that were simply not available 50 years ago. However, due to the increasing price of egg donation and other IVF treatment in the UK, people with infertility issues must think outside of the box to achieve their dream of becoming parents. This often means travelling abroad to find a suitable solution. Thankfully, due to wider availability of reproduction technologies and growing competition among IVF clinics, travelling for egg donation abroad has become easier than ever, with many people going abroad in search of safe, affordable and successful egg donation treatments.
In our guide, we recommend the top five European destinations for egg donation treatment in Europe. In our guide, we consider the following essential factors:
Cost of treatment
Quality of treatment including success rates
Travel and accommodation costs
Local fertility laws
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Spain is one of the most popular European destinations for egg donation treatment. There are nearly 200 IVF clinics in Spain, of which half reports to the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE), the fertility industry’s principle governing body. Spain is often chosen by British and German patients, mainly due to the limited availability of NHS-funded treatment and the high cost of private treatment in their respective countries.
Cost of Treatment:
The average cost that couples pay for egg donation is EUR 6,495, including standard IVF lab procedures and donor costs.
Quality of treatment (success rates):
Spanish clinics are widely known to use cutting edge reproductive technologies and equipment. The average egg donation success rate according to ESHRE’s latest figures is 55.6%. Many Spanish clinics hold ISO and other accreditations confirming the quality and safety of treatments they offer. Some clinics submit their egg donor success stories and rates to the Spanish Fertility Society (SEF).
Travel and accommodation costs:
A number of budget airlines provide direct flights from the UK to popular Spanish cities such as Madrid or Barcelona. The cost of living in Spain is lower than in the UK, so food and accommodation should be reasonably priced.
Local Fertility Laws:
Spanish law and regulations tend to be supportive of patients going through egg donation treatment. For example, IVF, Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) and egg donation treatment are all legal in Spain. Anyone can be treated regardless of their marital status and sexual orientation. However, in Spain donors are anonymous.
2. The Czech Republic
The Czech Republic has approximately 30 IVF clinics that provide egg donation treatment, of which approximately 20 reports to ESHRE.
Cost of Treatment:
Egg donation treatment costs approximately EUR 4,550 per cycle which includes standard IVF lab procedures and donor costs.
Quality of treatment:
The average success rate for IVF with donor eggs is 46.8% according to ESHRE. The Czech Republic is heavily regulated by its governing body, the Czech Society for Assisted Reproduction (CSAR).
Travel and accommodation costs:
The Czech Republic has five international airports and very affordable accommodation options.
Local Fertility Laws:
Egg donation and sperm donation are both legal, although embryo donation is not. Women can undergo IVF up to the age of 48. Czech clinics are obliged to ensure the anonymity of the egg donor, sperm donor and intended parents.
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There are 44 IVF clinics in Greece that provide egg donation treatment. Greek IVF clinics are becoming increasingly popular due to the country’s patient-friendly IVF regulations. The majority of clinics have English speaking staff, or provide English translators, making this a popular destination for UK patients.
Cost of Treatment:
The price for egg donation ranges from EUR 4,500 to 6,000, including standard IVF lab procedures and donor costs.
Quality of treatment:
The average success rate of IVF with donor eggs is 51% in Greece. These impressive success rates are due to the country’s long heritage in fertility treatment, and the extensive experience of doctors and embryologists.
Travel and accommodation costs:
Most budget airlines fly direct to Greece from the UK, and hotels are among some of the cheapest in Europe, ranging from 20-70 Euros per night.
Local Fertility Laws:
Single people are permitted to have IVF, but it is currently illegal for same-sex couples to do so. However, they can be treated as single women. It is legal to transfer two embryos for patients who are under 35, and three for women over 40. There are no limits when it comes to embryo storage, however, if you already have frozen embryos, you need to use those before you can freeze more. The maximum age for IVF recipients in Greece is 50.
4. Cyprus
Cyprus is a gorgeous island country in the Mediterranean Sea, 400 miles south of Turkey. Cyprus has about 10 egg donation clinics and is a popular destination for patients from Europe, Asia and Africa. The island is divided into South and North Cyprus. The most popular destination tends to be the northern region where there are more donors and treatment tends to be more affordable.
Cost of Treatment:
Egg donation ranges between EURO 4,500 and 6,000 and includes standard IVF lab procedures and donor costs.
Quality of treatment (success rates):
Egg donation success rates vary from 59% to 75%. Make sure you check with the clinic as success rates do vary quite considerably. Due to stringent regulations, the quality of treatment across Cyprus is generally high. However, it’s worth pointing out that historically some clinics in Northern Cyprus do not follow international recommendations. In 2016, the Ministry of Health introduced a new law which required IVF clinics to adhere to a series of strict regulations. Few clinics applied due to the heavy restrictions imposed on them. Before you book, it’s worth asking the clinic if they have been certified under the new laws introduced in 2016. Also, find out if the doctor carrying out your treatment has been certified. Again they should have been issued a certificate by the Ministry of Health.
Travel and accommodation costs:
Larnaca and Paphos are the two international airports in Cyprus, with British Airways, Easy Jet and Ryanair all flying there.
Local Fertility Laws:
Egg donation is anonymous in Cyprus and available to unmarried couples, same-sex couples and single people. The maximum age of a female donor egg in North Cyprus is 55, however from the age of 45, recipients must be screened and from 50 more tests will be required. In South Cyprus, the maximum age is 48.
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There are approximately 31 IVF clinics in Ukraine offering IVF and egg donation treatment. Some of them also offer surrogacy programs. If you’re interested in travelling to Ukraine, consider the following:
Cost of Treatment:
Egg donation treatment in Ukraine is as low as 4600 Euros, with frozen egg donation even cheaper. Ukraine is currently one of the most affordable European destinations for IVF, without compromising on quality and safety.
Quality of treatment (success rates):
IVF clinics require a license to operate, provided by the Ministry of Healthcare of Ukraine. Every three years, the clinics are inspected to ensure they comply with all the regulations. It is recommended you find a clinic with an ISO certification. Clinics submit their success rates to the Ukrainian Association of Reproductive Medicine and to ESHRE. According to ESHRE, the average donor egg success rate is 56.2% which is high compared to the international average (50,3%)
Travel and accommodation costs:
Ukraine is the most affordable destination when it comes to accommodation, travel and food costs.
Local Fertility Laws:
There is no specified age limit for IVF treatment, but the majority of clinics do not accept patients older than 51. Ukrainian law states that embryo sex selection is not legal except for medical reasons. Ukrainian clinics do not cater to same-sex couples. However, single women can have IVF. There is no law specifying the maximum number of embryos that can be transferred. However, clinics usually transfer no more than two embryos at a time.
So there are our top five recommended destinations for egg donation treatment! Now you might be wondering, which is the best for you? Check out our IVF Triangle infographics below to help you make the right decision.
LetsGetChecked can help you understand your hormonal health with their female fertility testing options. Collect your sample from home and you'll receive accurate results within 2-5 days of the lab receiving your sample
