Natural remedies for anxiety in children

Anxiety is a natural response to stress and can be triggered by a variety of factors in children. From the first day of school jitters to performance aincnxiety, nearly 300,000 young people in Britain have an anxiety disorder. In the UK, anxiety is estimated to affect 2-5% of children under 12 years old and 5-19% of all children and adolescents. 

While prescription medications may seem like the obvious solution, there are natural remedies for anxiety in children that can help calm their nerves without any side effects. In this article, we’ll explore some creative and effective natural solutions to anxiety that will have them feeling better in no time!

Our experience with anxiety in our child

In the past few years, we had noticed our eldest son suffering from increasingly high anxiety levels. Sometimes this anxiety would erupt with no cue, or we could see the build-up of anxiety forming, but we couldn’t stop it. My son wasn’t always an anxious child. In fact, as a baby, he was very calm and tolerant. During nursery, he was, as quoted by his key nursery worker, “a very engaging and relaxed boy.” At school, somehow, things changed. We put it down to his new class being dynamic, with lots of loud personalities and we thought he was finding it difficult to cope.

We had suspected some teasing had been going on as he didn’t want to go to school anymore, and occasionally he would repeat words that weren’t uttered at home. He was losing focus at school, often being told off for not sitting still on the carpet and receiving frequent timeouts. His anxiety levels grew, and in October 2017 we lost our third baby, which exacerbated his anxiety levels. We noticed that he also struggled to express what he was going through, which meant all those feelings he had inside were festering with no release.

We figured we need to act fast, especially as his sleep was suffering. We could not get him to settle most nights, and it would take at least three hours for him to calm down, which meant he often passed out through exhaustion. And he wouldn’t stay asleep either – he would wake up during the night complaining of nightmares. His fatigue spilt onto his daily activities and mental development, and it was at this point we knew we needed to do something.

His school had suggested that we try the medical route to eliminate possibilities of ADHD or Autism, but at the time, I felt it was his anxiety levels that had taken a hit because of traumatic incidents that happened previously. But we followed the medical route anyway to eliminate any possibilities. And it crossed our mind that his lack of expression could be down to something underlying.

We took him to the GP to start the medical process, with no real idea what this route entailed exactly. The GP began the treatment plan which involved an initial assessment with me, my husband and our son at the Peace Children’s Centre in Watford. This meeting’s aim was to get our side of the story about how our son (then 8) was suffering and to determine which route was best to take. The paediatrician could see that he was exhibiting levels of anxiety and advised that we follow the Step2 CAMHs program, which concentrated more on our child’s emotional psyche and the possibility that he may have ADHD symptoms rather than autism.

I spoke with Andy Collins on BBC3 Counties Radio regarding our process with Step2 CAMHS MFAGS, which you can listen to below:

My son and I also spoke with the lovely Anna Williamson on BBC3 Counties radio during the Mental Health Hour and we got to hear his side of what he learned during the anxiety group session too. You can listen to that conversation below:

Who and what is Step2?

Step2 is an early intervention child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) for children up to 19 years old and operates on the back of written referrals from health professionals to provide medical advice and direct family and child support. There is a range of support from bereavement and loss advice to ADHD pre-screening, and as the Watford Peace Centre made the referral to assess Aron for ADHD, this was the next logical step.

We were lucky enough to receive a cancellation (we were told it was an 18 month waiting list), and a few months later we spoke to a clinical psychologist who couldn’t spot any autistic or ADHD tendencies. So he deduced that our son was suffering from high anxiety, which may have been why his sleep and concentration levels were suffering.

They placed our son on the waiting list for weekly Multi-Family Anxiety Group Sessions (MFAGS) hosted by Step2 CAMHS, and after the four sessions, we went away with a toolbox of natural techniques on how to overcome anxiety at home.

Dr Alison McNaught explains what Step2 CAMHS MFAGS is below on BBC3 Counties Radio:

Did going to MFAGS make a difference?

It absolutely did for us parents. What we learned more than anything was there were options out there for us when we didn’t know what was going on with our child. Parents may be quick to label children with a medical disorder, and this may be the case for some but often it can be something more emotional and psychological.

And, as I learned quickly, there is an intrinsic link between anxiety and ADHD/autism. So, it can become almost impossible to eliminate one without the other. Therefore, I would suggest following as many routes as possible. Step2 aims to figure out the root cause and offer mental health support accordingly. If they find during the process there is a medical aspect, they will refer back to the medical route for further assessment.

I think my child has anxiety what should I do?

The first thing to note is that you are not alone. We realised there are a lot of parents who are dealing with children who are fighting anxiety constantly but do not have the tools to help them through it. And it is normal to feel helpless too.

Unfortunately, there is no manual to help us deal with the grey areas of our children’s psyche, so, attending these anxiety group sessions armed us with so many great tools going forward, from how to deal with highly stressful situations to remedies to calm the mind, body and soul. For example, square breathing and mindfulness, and tackling worries head-on are great techniques to deal with worries quickly and overcome them.

One of the biggest things we learned during the MFAGS is that we have this natural maternal and paternal need to reassure our kids when they are worried about something. But our reassurance means they don’t learn how to deal with that worry and the concern keeps coming back. So, we use tools like the Worry Monster, which helps children to compartmentalise and postpone their worries until a designated worry period, so they are not worrying all the time. The worry period or worry time is where they can talk about their worries freely for a set period. I will go into all these different remedies in a moment.

If your child has anxiety, it’s important to be there for them and make time to really listen. I found that kids will often act out if something is bothering them and rather than labelling them as being naughty, maybe it is more of a cry for help. Be the help, and if you find that it is all over your head, then Step2 can provide you with the information you need and hold your hand in these situations.

Is it possible to overcome anxiety? When does anxiety become a disorder?

Anxiety is a long-term battle which can be beaten without medication but it’s a long process. Sometimes it’s a matter of modifying your behaviour towards the problem that’s causing anxiety and learning tools and processes to help manage your anxiety.

Mentalhealth.com says that fear is one of the most powerful emotions. It has a very strong effect on your mind and body. It can be a one-off incident or it can be an everyday problem, even if you don’t know what’s triggering it. Some people feel anxiety all the time.

Even if you know how unrealistic the fear is, the emotional part of your brain keeps sending those danger signals to your body.

So, the burning question is:

How should I overcome my anxiety?

Before you start, work out what you want to achieve first

Before you learn about anxiety and work on reducing your child’s anxiety levels, it is imperative to think about what you want to work on and achieve. Do you know what your child is worried about exactly? Do they worry about going to the shops? Do they have a specific fear? Have they been diagnosed with ADHD or ASD? Did they experience a certain trauma and are now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder? Do they find it difficult to socialise with people and are experiencing social anxiety disorder? Or is their mental health out of whack and you can’t pinpoint why?

Our first job at the start of the MFAGS was to discuss with our child what we wanted to achieve from each session and address his biggest worries. Listing these goals is a great way to get an all-around idea of what you’d like to achieve in the long run. For example, we wanted to help our son go to sleep relaxed every night without using medical treatment, and this meant addressing the issues he had before going to sleep and helping him relax before bedtime.

Anxiety is normal

Don’t forget that anxiety is normal, but when children are anxious, they feel helpless, and their worries can feel very real to them. It is challenging to watch them go through these worries because you feel helpless too, but you have to be keen to manage their concerns. And, if you feel anxious about certain places or situations yourself, then you must correct your behaviour first, so you can help your child alter their behaviour too. Did you have anxiety symptoms in childhood? Your methods may also help your child work through their worries too.

A happy parent is a happy child

It can become stressful dealing with kids every day. So, sometimes taking a spa day, having your nails done, going to the gym, or meeting your friend can provide you with the chance to take a step back and destress from your daily tasks. You have multiple hats on all the time and many relationships you need to tend to. You also naturally put your children first. But, to look after them, you need to concentrate on yourself–a happy parent is a happy family!

What is anxiety or generalised anxiety disorder? What are some signs of anxiety in children?

It’s always best to start with having a good understanding of what anxiety is as a symptom, and there are lots of ways you can describe and define anxiety symptoms in children. But what does anxiety in children look like?

We went around the group and talked about the signs of anxiety in a child. Some words that came up were:

• Worried
• Afraid
• Scared
• Panicky
• Stressed
• Fidgety
• Cross/Angry
• Fierce
• Excited
• Curious
• Normal
• Being obsessed with something (conducive to obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD)

Anxiousness in children is common, but it’s important to point out that anxiety is essentially a worry or a concern, and one of the most important things to remember is that feeling anxious is normal. We all get worried about things, but sometimes our worries stress us out too much, and we cannot handle them.

Kids with anxiety symptoms find it difficult to verbalise, understand or compartmentalise these feelings, and their anxiety levels can reach unbearable heights and impact their daily living. It’s when anxiety stops us from doing the things we want to do, it takes over our day, and it becomes overwhelming that we need help to understand where this anxiety is coming from and how we can work with ourselves and our children to ensure we manage and reduce this anxiety naturally.

“Everybody feels anxious sometimes. In fact, a little bit of worry can be good for you. The important thing is not to let anxiety get out of hand and take over your life. You need to stay in charge.” Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust

Understanding anxiety and its impact on the body

During our first session, we were provided with a thermometer illustration so we could rate where our anxiety levels were when we came into the group and where it was when we left the group, to find out whether our anxiety levels had changed after each session.

The idea behind the thermometer activity was to tune into our anxiety and acknowledge that we have varying degrees. The higher up you get on the thermometer, towards the red part, the higher your anxiety is. The lower down you get on the thermometer – the green part – the less anxious you are.

Our son stated at the beginning of the session he felt anxious and placed his name on the left of the highest red part. I didn’t feel quite so anxious, so I labelled my name towards the yellow section. By the end of the session, my name had moved down to the green part, and his name had moved down to the yellow part.

So talking about anxiety in the session had eased both of our anxiety levels. I further discussed this reduction with my son at home and reiterated that if we knew what anxiety was, we could have a shot at reducing our anxiety levels even further. He agreed and felt it was a good idea to continue with these sessions.

Do you need to build on your child’s self-esteem? Check out our Mindscreen series now and follow the steps to help your child become more confident in life!

What causes or contributes to anxiety?

There isn’t one specific thing that contributes to anxiety – it could be a combination of different situations and places that causes you to have these anxious feelings. Below are some factors that can increase anxiety:

It’s in your genes

Often there is a generic link and a family history of anxiety, namely, neuroticism, which can pass on to our children. [1]

Screen time / social media

People are becoming more aware of social media’s significant impact on anxiety in children because often social media is instant and consuming, especially as children grow into their teenage years.

Stress

Stress has a major impact on anxiety [2], and lots of things can add to your stress levels. Imagine if you have a bucket and you place a few things in that bucket every so often. Suddenly that bucket overflows, and just one more thing can tip that bucket over, causing high anxiety.

A traumatic event

Traumatic events can trigger high anxiety levels [3], especially when it is not manageable. Traumatic events include bereavement, which is a trigger for high anxiety, and if your child is being bullied.

Separation anxiety

Separation anxiety occurs where the child experiences high levels of anxiety when their parent or child leaves the room. Separation anxiety can be traumatic for a child, whatever their age.

Our personalities

Sometimes having high anxiety can just be your personality [4] and it makes up who you are. This means you have to work harder on managing your anxiety levels because it can often become difficult to distinguish when you experience anxiety and when you feel normal.

Learning the behaviour from others

If you surround yourself with people who are anxious, then you can often pick up on those signals, or you learn their behaviour. When you’re anxious, you behave in a certain way and often that behaviour can be learned. A younger sibling can pick up on the bad things that the older sibling is doing, and if the older sibling is anxious about something, the little one can pick up that anxiety through learned behaviour.

Life changes

You may experience significant life changes that cause you anxiety, like moving house, a divorce, or experiences that have led you to worry about similar situations that happen now.

Try to think about where you think your anxiety comes from and how it impacts your daily life. Did the divorce cause you to have separation anxiety as a child which your child has picked up from you as learned behaviour? Don’t forget that anxiety can form because of some or all of the above factors, not just one.

Anxiety in children – symptoms of where we feel anxiety

It is useful to understand where we feel anxiety in our bodies, as we all experience anxious symptoms differently. Next time you feel anxious, listen to your body and try to recognise where you feel anxiety. Do you experience funny changes in your body? Ask your child too. I usually feel anxiety in my tummy, and my body temperature heats up, which leads me to go to the toilet.

But what are other symptoms of anxiety? A non-exhaustive childhood anxiety symptoms checklist include:

• A sore throat
• A headache
• Sweaty hands
• You feel short-tempered
• Butterflies in the tummy
• Tummy Ache – a common symptom of anxiety
• You feel physically sick
• Your heart flutters or beats quick – a common sign of panic attacks
• You cannot eat
• You can’t breathe – a common sign of panic disorder
• You can’t swallow
• You feel panicky
• Your blood pressure rises
• You have shaky legs
• You experience sweaty armpits
• You experience little tics

My son says he feels anxiety everywhere in his body. This is his visualisation on his gingerbread man, which Step2 CAMHS kindly provided to us during the MFAGS.

Problem-solving your worries – How to treat anxiety in children

What are the causes of stress and anxiety in children and young people? Children are not good at tolerating uncertainty, but we must teach them that life isn’t always guaranteed and that it is ok when they have anxious feelings.

The gingerbread man is so important because children need to recognise what’s happening to them (as there is a range of anxiety disorders out there) and nothing terrible will happen when they feel anxiety. Sometimes they must sit with these feelings and learn that things get better with time. Often lots of little things can maintain their anxiety, and it’s about trying to tease those feelings out and get them to talk through what they’re thinking to sort out their worries head-on.

Try to model healthy ways of handling anxiety

It is also vital for you as a parent to do the same as you are a role model and it is incredible how we can teach children how to manage their anxiety by merely setting an example. How do you deal with your anxiety when you are worried about something?

Some methods Step2 CAMHS taught us were problem-solving our worries which is an effective child anxiety treatment at home. If you’re worried about something, what do you do? What is the concern and how do you encourage children who don’t always find it easy to express what their worry is to get it out in the open?

Sometimes we need to change our language to help them talk through their worries. But before we do that we need to understand what happens to our brain when we experience anxiety.

The brain box – what happens to our brain when we experience anxiety

Let’s compare our brains to a computer.

The first part of the computer is the motherboard. This is the most important part of the computer because it keeps it powered for the most basic part. If we compare the motherboard to our bodies, the most important part of our body is our brain.

The second part is the hard disk drive, which stores memory on the computer. We store memories in our brain through our five senses: see, smell, hear, touch, and taste.

The third part is the processor which deals with all the complicated bits of information and high-level functions within the computer. This is the clever thinking part of our brain and allows us to deal with complicated situations while analysing information continuously. All these parts are connected to each other. So, in summary:

Let’s think about an example where we experience anxiety.

You’re in a room, and suddenly a big lion enters the room. What do you do? Do you sit around and use the Processor part of your brain to think about a way out? Or do you, without thinking, get out of the room and into safety?

It would most likely be the latter, right?

In reality, if a lion walked into a room, we wouldn’t have time to think – we would just need to get out and away to safety, to save ourselves – this is our survival technique. If there is a real danger in our environment, our survival instincts kick in, and the processor part or the clever thinking part of our brain automatically turns off. We do not have time to think about what to do. This is called:

The fight, flight, freeze response

When we experience a threat, we either fight the problem or we run away from the problem (and in some situations, we freeze too), and, in our lion example, we chose the flight option, i.e. to run away from the lion.

Click here for survival tips for kids that they should know now!

Let’s think about a more realistic example.

You’re standing by the side of the road, you look left and right; you wait until you find the perfect time to cross when no cars are driving by, and then you cross the street. Suddenly a car comes toward you. You get panicky, and you run to the other side of the road.

Your clever thinking part of your brain – or the Processor – turned off automatically because there was no time to think about whether to cross, so your survivals instincts knew to get away to safety. If you had your clever thinking part on in both of the above examples, and you questioned what would happen, the lion would eat you up, and the car would run you over!

So, it’s good that our brains work in that way to give us the best chance at survival, right?

Yes, but not always.

Unfortunately, our brain can’t tell the difference between a real threat and what we perceive as being a threat. So, if you feel anxious, your clever thinking part of your brain turns off because the brain thinks you are being threatened. For example:

• What if I fall over in front of everyone and they all laugh at me?
  
• What if I don’t speak to anyone and I feel lonely?
  
• What if I end up with no friends on the first day of school?
  
• What if I don’t get the job I always wanted?
  
• What if I call the wrong answer out in class?

These are all worries, but the processor part of your brain isn’t helping you to get through these worries. It’s turning off and triggering the flight, fight or freeze response. So what you need to practice is reconnecting that processor so you can analyse and rationalise the non-real threatening situations from the real threats. And to do this, it involves techniques and practising every day.

The more you practice, the more you can connect your processor quickly. But, the trick here is to not practice them when you are disconnecting, you need to practice every day while you are calm and in control so it kicks in when you feel you are disengaging. Remember, if you have no clever thinking part activated, you can’t think about practising!

Think about this situation with your child. When your child is worried or anxious, how easy is it to reason when them when they’re in that state? It’s not simple, is it? It’s because their processor is not connected, so they’re never going to hear what you are saying. You have to wait until they calm down before they can listen and understand what you are trying to tell them. So practising these mind and body techniques together helps you both reconnect your processors quickly.

So, how do you reconnect your processor part quickly?

Combat your stress and anxiety with calm breathing exercises

Square breathing exercises are a great way to calm the breath and reconnect the processor part of your brain and one of the more common ways on how to help a child with anxiety.

How to practice square breathing

1. Either print out the image above (click on the image) or imagine a square in your head
2. Start in the top left corner of the square and breathe in while moving along the top side of the square until you get to the right corner
3. Breathe out as you move down the right side of the square to the bottom right corner
4. Breathe in as you move along the bottom side of the square to the bottom left corner
5. And breathe out when you move up the left side of the square, back to the first left corner
6. Repeat as many times as needed to calm your breath. If you imagine a square, no one will know you’re doing this!

Practice square breathing with your child when they first wake up or when they go to sleep – it’s a great tool to calm their breathing down and settle before bedtime.

Feather breathing

Another breathing technique which works really well, especially on younger ones is feather breathing. You hold a feather in front of you and blow as gently as possible to try not to move the feather. This method of breathing works to control your breath and calm you down. While breathing on the feather, notice how gently you have to blow for the feather to move.

It is important to practice square or feather breathing all the time. Find one that works best for you and your child, and practice, practice, practice!

Laying a teddy on your tummy

Another great way for your child to relax their breath before sleep is to place a teddy on their belly and ask them to watch the teddy move up and down as they breathe in and out. This helps them a lot to relax before bedtime.

Relaxation stories

Relaxation stories are great to read out before bedtime as the stories involve breathing techniques that your child can follow before sleep or even before tackling the rest of the day. You can find great one-page relaxation scripts, from www.relaxedkids.com, and you can download stories on devices too. These stories are great to manage anxiety in children under 10, and teaches them how to do relax as you read through the story.

Here are some examples:

Some other great stories from Amazon are:

While reading the relaxation stories

1. Ask your child to close their eyes as you read the story out calmly and slowly.
2. You can do it in the morning when you wake up or just before bed

When to worry about child anxiety – What are some natural remedies for anxiety and panic attacks?

If a worry is taking over a child’s life and the steps above are not diminishing it then there may be something else which is contributing to their fears and panic attacks. There are some other ways to treat anxiety like cognitive behavioural therapy or medication but these are best explained by a health professional who can provide sound advice on your next steps to manage anxiety, plus find other ways to treat the problems too.

What causes anxiety? Thinking errors and taking our thoughts to court

Generally, when we have a negative thought, we can end up magnifying it, and it has a snowball effect on our overall thinking. So it’s important to think about our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, as well as the differences between them and how we can work through them to achieve a more reasonable conclusion.

But what causes an anxiety attack?

Thinking errors – what triggers anxiety?

Paul Stallard wrote a book called Think Good – Feel Good,* and in Chapter Six, he talked about how some of our ‘hot’ automatic thoughts tend not to be helpful to us. But what happens if anxiety gets worse? Then these thoughts may stop us from doing the things we want to do, and if we don’t question or challenge these thoughts, they continue to swirl around in our heads and make us feel anxious for no reason.

How can anxiety get worse?

The more we hear these thoughts, the more we believe they are accurate and the more we look for evidence to prove them right. Paul calls these thoughts Thinking Errors, and there are six common types of thinking errors we make:

The downers

With these types of thinking errors, you tend to focus only on the negative things that can happen, and anything positive is overlooked, disbelieved or unimportant. There are two types of downers:

Negative glasses

Negative glasses just let you see the negative part, even if you have a good time or nice things happen to you. Paul provides an example:

“You may have a perfect day out with your friends, but at lunchtime your favourite café is full. When you are asked whether you had a good time, you reply, ‘No. We couldn’t get to the café.”

Positive doesn’t count

When is anxiety worse? When anything positive is dismissed, unimportant or discredited. Paul provides us with further examples:

“The person who hears that a boy or girl wants to go out with them may think ‘they probably can’t find anyone else to go out with.’

“Doing well in a maths test may be discounted as you think ‘but it was easy – we learned all that last year.'”

Blowing things up

The second type of thinking errors are when you blow things up, and they become more prominent than they really are, which happens in three main ways:

All-or-nothing thinking

It’s either all or nothing – black and white with no grey – freezing cold or boiling hot. Either full marks or you’re a failure.

Magnifying the negative

Everything is exaggerated, magnified and blown out of proportion. Everyone was looking and laughing at you when you said the wrong answer in class. You stumbled and everyone thought you were clumsy.

Snowballing

A single event upsets you, and then it quickly snowballs into a never-ending pattern of defeat. There’s a grey cloud in the sky which means there’s going to be a thunderstorm. Not being picked for the sports team means that you are not good at sports and you can’t do anything. You don’t understand a particular maths problem, which means you’re rubbish at maths.

Predicting failure

You generally expect bad things to happen. This can happen in two main ways:

The mind-reader

You think you know what everyone else is thinking. You don’t want to go meet a group of friends because you know they don’t like you. You bet everyone is laughing at you.

The fortune-teller

You think you know what will happen if you do it. If you go out, you will end up sitting on your own. You know you’re not going to be able to do the work if you try, so why try in the first place, right?

Notice any of these thinking errors in yourself? If you notice yourself doing this or you see your child doing this, it’s time to take your thoughts to court!

Taking your thoughts to court

Taking your thoughts to court means you recognise that you have an unhelpful thought and you want to weigh the pros and cons to find out if those thoughts have any substance or not. Imagine that you’re in a courtroom in front of a judge and you have to find evidence to support the thought you’re having and what evidence you don’t have to support this belief.

Let’s use an example:

“If I get the answer wrong everyone will laugh at me.”

So, we’re in our courtroom, and we’re standing in front of a judge. We need to find the evidence to support why we think everyone will laugh at us if we get the answer wrong. Then we need to find proof as to why this won’t happen.

Facts to prove this thought is true

• It has happened to you or your child before
• Somebody in the class always laughs
• You always get the answer wrong

Facts to prove this thought is untrue

• Your answer could be right
• It is highly unlikely that everyone will laugh
• You thought your answer was wrong, but when you answered it, it turned out your answer was correct
• If you answer wrong it doesn’t matter
• What would someone I trust say? They would probably advise you to answer the question anyway so you learn from your mistakes if you get it wrong

Think about what would happen if you worried lots about saying the wrong answer and you never asked a question again. How will you determine what the right answer would be? If you don’t put your hands up in class, it will hinder your learning and impact on your life.

Now, think about your own worries and taking your thoughts to court. Find a way to balance your thoughts and disprove that belief. So, going back to our example, a way to balance that thought is everyone may laugh, but you can be proud of the fact you dared to put your hand up in class and answered the question. You didn’t have a fear of failure, and you gave it a go regardless of the outcome. That’s something to be proud of!

Explore with your children about how they can come up with their own worries and how they can balance the pros and cons of their thinking errors.

Below is a fact sheet for you to print out from Step2 CAMHS, so you can challenge your own worry thoughts.

Our behaviour when we’re anxious

Anxiety affects how we act and our behaviour is what keeps our anxiety going. We need to distinguish between what our unhelpful behaviours and what our helpful behaviours are. Here are some examples of unhelpful behaviours

Avoidance

If something is causing anxious feelings for no reason, you want it to stop as quickly as possible, and the quickest way to do that is to avoid it, and then you feel safe. For example, if you are scared to get into a lift, you will avoid it, and then you will immediately feel safe. But, you don’t get to find out if you would be ok if you entered the lift because you didn’t even try. The longer you avoid the situation, the stronger your thoughts will get. You need to reverse that cycle and not prevent the situation.

In the image above from Herts Community NHS Trust Step2, this particular child has a worry about someone saying something horrible to them on the walk to school. Generally, the child feels anxious for no reason, but they exhibit all sorts of feelings like anxiety, fear, embarrassment, sweating, a headache and butterflies in their tummy. So they avoid the situation by getting mum to walk with them, which they think leads them to safety.

So, in the image above, the child walked to school with mum, and nothing terrible happened. They believed that walking to school with mum was the reason why no one said anything horrible to them on the way to school. So they felt calm and safe walking with mum. The problem with this reassurance and safety behaviour is they won’t get to find out what would happen if they didn’t walk to school with mum.

This child needs to take their thoughts to court and weigh up the pros and cons of what would likely happen to them if they walked to school on their own. Otherwise, this avoidance behaviour will only feed their anxiety and not fix the problem head-on.

We will never learn that it’s going to be ok if we avoid a situation. And even if we cope well in that situation, we will think it was because of the safety behaviour rather than because we managed the anxiety. Therefore, it’s vital that we change our behaviour and challenge our thoughts. We need to change the way we behave so we can think differently about things in the future.

Reassurance seeking

Children especially seek reassurance from their parents about their behaviour. And reassurance makes them feel better in the short term, but lots of talking about the worry can make the worry bigger.

Let’s use another example.

Think about a tomato plant and how much you need to look after it for it to grow. You need to seed it, water it little and often, plant it in the garden, prune the little flower bits, and then you have to take them out. The more you take care of them the more tomatoes you will have.

Worries are the same. The more you take care of them, the more you look after them, the more you will have. It stops you from moving on because you continuously go back to those worries all of the time.

And equally, what do we parents do when our child is worried about something? We reassure them!

“It’s ok, everything is going to be ok. Don’t worry about it.”

But, what did they learn from our reassurance? They didn’t learn that everything was ok because we told them it was ok. Their brain hasn’t determined what the evidence is to support it being ok. They didn’t problem solve the worry because you did it for them.

Reassurance is probably one of the most significant things we do as adults to young people. And it may seem like the right thing to do at the time. But, if it worked it would work the first time. The worries tend to carry on, and the conversation about their worries continues, which means our reassurance is not doing its job.

A better way to deal with a child’s worry is to change the language slightly. Ask them why they feel that worry and place the onus back on them to come up with reasons why they have that worry. Tell them to not avoid the situation but avoid reassuring them that it will be ok.

Also, don’t talk about the worry too much. It is challenging as a parent to not rescue them, but if you don’t get them to learn now how to tackle their worries, they will struggle with anxiety later.

Next time you find yourself reassuring your child, stop. The aim of this change in language behaviour is to mould our kids into little relaxed adults.

For example, if they fall over and graze their knee, acknowledge they’ve hurt themselves, but make light of the situation.

Another example is if a child doesn’t want to go upstairs to bed because they’re scared of the dark. What’s the issue here? Are they feeling anxiety for no reason? Acknowledge the concern and ask them what will happen if they go upstairs by themselves. Ask them to take their thoughts to court. It is also important to stress to the child that thoughts are not facts. They are just thoughts and they can choose to do what they want with them.

Sometimes it’s about modelling your behaviour on them, playing little games and being creative about how you speak to them. Get into that conversation and talk about your thoughts and how you tackle them so your child can understand your thought processes too. Some children will understand easily and with some, you will really have to teach it to them. But, don’t give up. It’s important to work out what’s causing anxiety in your child and talk it through with them.

Emotional games can be great like conversation cubes* which help kids to open up about their concerns and take their thoughts to court. The bottom line is to teach them they will be ok if they challenge their thoughts.

Safety behaviours

We avoid situations we are worried about, but there are ways we can engage in certain safety behaviours to feel safer from our worries without avoiding them.

Herts Community NHS Trust Step 2 have come up with examples of safety behaviours below:

Safety behaviours are things we do to reduce our anxiety, and it gives us temporary relief. For example, going to the supermarket might make you feel uneasy or trigger anxiety because you think everyone is looking at you. So you may put your headphones on and avoid people by keeping your head down. You’re not avoiding the situation, but you are providing yourself with temporary relief to help you through the anxiety.

Some other examples are if you’re scared of flying, so you still enter a plane, but you don’t look out of the window. You’re still tackling the problem, but you’re softening the anxiety by adopting safe behaviour.

Sometimes these safety behaviours can be really subtle, and you would need to observe your child to spot when they’re feeling uneasy. And then it’s a matter of slow steps to deal with the anxiety head-on so ultimately you’re not using safety behaviours to help their anxiety and overall mental health. The aim is to remove safety behaviours completely but in small steps.

Want to build your child’s confidence and self-esteem? Start the journey here!

How to explain coping skills to a child

Child anxiety is on the rise so it’s fundamental we provide coping skills for anxiety for kids as well as calming techniques for kids to practice so anxiety doesn’t take over their lives.

You can help your child practise calming their anxiety by following the designated anxiety activities for children, aimed at calming kids when they’re at their most anxious.

50 coping skills for kids

Below are some great healthy coping mechanisms and calming down strategies for kids to take part in with a trusted adult.

Problem-solving your thoughts

We often don’t give children the opportunity to solve problems for themselves, but they can solve a problem just as well as adults. So, when they are experiencing a difficult problem or worry, they need to think about how they are going to solve it, by coming up with different solutions about what they can do.

Problem-solving works when you have a real worry you have control over. Some examples of realistic worries are:

• What if I’m late for the bus? A practical solution would be to look at the bus timetable
• What if I forget something at school the next day? You can solve this problem by checking your bag the night before.

You would only need to start taking your thoughts to court if you are still worried about your realistic problem after you’ve problem-solved.

Some examples of unrealistic worries where you need to take your thoughts to court are:

• What if my teacher will shout at me tomorrow? You have no control over your teacher, so you can’t control what he/she will do
• What if I can’t do my homework? You haven’t tried yet so how would you know?

Problem-solving your realistic worries and taking your unrealistic worry thoughts to court are great ways to deal with your concerns head-on, but not if you’re doing it all the time. Worries can occur at any time or place, often when you are unaware of their exact triggers. These worries can interfere with your daily life, so it’s essential to postpone your worry to a particular time [5] so you are not riddled with concerns every minute of the day and you can focus on the more pleasant things that are happening to you right now.

Postponing your worry until Worry Time

Anxious kids can worry all the time so it’s important to designate a certain worry they are anxious about to a certain time every day where they can talk about this worry. Postponing your worry allows you the time to think about your worry later and not right that second. This way you are in a better position to deal with your worry during a designated worry period. You can postpone your worry by writing the concern briefly on a piece of paper, and placing it in a Worry Box or a Worry Monster (which my two boys have at home) so the monster eats their worries up until we have Worry Time.

Worry Box/Worry Monster

When you have a worry, you write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your Worry Box (or Worry Monster) until you have Worry Time. If you don’t have a Worry Box, you can create an imaginary Worry Box in your head and lock it in until you are ready to open it up again at Worry Time.

Worry Time

Worry Time is a designated place and time, often around ten minutes, where you are allowed to talk about your worries as much as you want. Here are some tips on creating Worry Time at home:

• Choose a specific time, place and length of time for worrying.
• The time should be convenient so you can all follow through every day
• Make the place unique, comfortable, and free from distractions. Assign somewhere you don’t normally go to all the time so it can be your special worry place. Make a sign so that everyone knows this is a special Worry Time area
• Settle comfortably in the Worry Time area and take some time to reflect on the worries you had written down earlier
• Make sure Worry Time is not close to bedtime
• Only worry about the things you wrote down first
• If some of the worries are no longer bothering you then you don’t need to talk about them at Worry Time
• This is a protected time, so no phones, gadgets or other distractions!
• Stick to the Worry Time. If you scheduled 10 minutes, don’t go over. Parents, be strict!
• Think about problem-solving and taking your thoughts to court during Worry Time

If your child comes up to you and says they have a worry now, you can acknowledge them, but you ask them to put the worry in their Worry Box because they’re not going to deal with it now. You will deal with that worry later and there will be no talking about worries outside of your Worry Time. This might sound scary, but it helps to reduce the number of time children spend thinking and talking about their worries. Worry Time helps you to be the boss of your worries and keeps you in control.

As you practice Worry Time, you will slowly learn to postpone your worries, and even though it may seem strange now, it will become easier the more you practice. This is a new skill you are developing, and it will take some time so give yourself time.

Flowchart Of Postponing your Worry, Worry Box and Worry Time

Feel free to print off the flow chart above and stick it on your wall, so you don’t forget the process of postponing your worries to a Worry Box until Worry Time. Remember, acknowledge your child has a worry, but ask them to pop it in a Worry Box, whether this is imaginary or real, and then you all can discuss it at Worry Time.

If it is someone else’s worry, ask the child to give the worry back to that person. It’s not their worry, so they don’t need to deal with it. If it is a real worry, go through the process of problem-solving your thoughts, as above, and if it is an unrealistic worry, then take those thoughts to court!

Again, by learning to postpone your worry until Worry Time, you will find your thoughts will be less intrusive on your life and you can start to manage your worries more effectively while you’re in control.

In the meantime, if it isn’t Worry Time, turn your focus onto the present moment and the activities you are doing here and now, which will help you to let go of the worries until Worry Time. Practising mindfulness is a great way to help you forget about your worries temporarily and be present in the moment.

Mindfulness

Often our thoughts are about what has happened in the past or future. But it is important we bring ourselves into the here and now. Mindfulness is all about trying to be present in the current moment, and there are lots of different ways you can practice mindfulness, which helps to improve anxiety and concentration. [6] Mindfulness is particularly helpful for people who are always on the go.

Mindfulness exercise

In Week 3 of the Multi-Family Anxiety Group Session (MFAGS) hosted by Step2 CAMHS, we practised mindfulness with a Skittle.

Here is a simple mindfulness exercise using a Skittle – or any small food that you can hold in your hands.

• Hold the Skittle in your hand
• Look at the Skittle
• Concentrate on the colour
• Concentrate on the shape of it
• If you put it to your ear, can you hear anything?
• Smell the Skittle. What does it smell of?
• Pop it on your tongue. How does it taste?
• Eat the Skittle

The trick during this mindfulness exercise is to tune into your senses because our brain gets all of its information from our five senses. If your thoughts start to wander, bring yourself back to the here and now.

Below are some other great mindfulness exercises from www.TherapistAid.com.

Mindfulness with food

• Pick up the food
• Notice the weight
• How does the food feel against your skin?
• Roll the object between your fingers and/or in your hand
• Look at the texture. Is it rough, smooth, slick, soft, or firm? Does it have any other properties?
• Hold the food to your nose and pay attention to its smell.
• Place the food in your mouth and on your tongue, but don’t eat it.
• How does it feel in your mouth?
• Does the texture feel the same when it was on your hand?
• What do you taste?
• Roll the food around your mouth and pay attention to the feeling
• Finally, begin to chew your food. Notice how your teeth sink into it. Does the texture feel different when you’re chewing?
• Pay close attention to the flavour, how it spreads across your tongue
• How does your body change? Does our mouth fill with saliva? Is your tongue hot or cold?
• Continue to chew your food, paying attention to as many sensations are you can, as you finish.

Your five senses

Use this exercise from www.TherapistAid.com wherever you are to bring yourself to the present moment when you are short of time. The goal is to notice what your five senses are doing in your surroundings.

What are the 5 things you can see?

Look around you and notice five things you didn’t see before. Maybe the light reflecting on a particular surface, a particular object as it lays still or light reflecting off the wall.

What are the 4 things you can feel?

What can you feel where you are? Feel the pressure of your feet on the floor, the temperature of your skin, pick up an object and note the texture.

What are the 3 things you can hear?

Pay close attention to the background noises. Perhaps the birds chirping outside, the washing machine in the background, cars driving on a distant street.

What are the 2 things you can smell?

What can you smell, pleasant or unpleasant? Maybe you smell the exhaust fumes in the air, the smell of freshly cut grass, the aroma of coffee or food being made in the oven.

What is the 1 thing you can taste?

Pop a piece of gum in your mouth, sip a drink, eat a snack if you have one, or just merely notice how your mouth tastes the air on your tongue.

You can change the pattern to do more or less of each sense. Try this activity while you’re doing something else, like washing dishes, going for a walk or listening to music.

Other popular mindfulness exercises and calming strategies for kids

• Eye spy
• Looking at posters
• Jenga
• Balancing on one foot
• Simon Says

These games allow children to concentrate in the present moment.

Mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation is one of the best anxiety activities for kids and it’s a great way to centre yourself when you have a had a tough day.

• Find a place where you can sit quietly and you won’t be disturbed
• Set a timer for around ten minutes
• Begin by bringing your attention to the present moment
• Pay attention to your breath as it enters and leaves the body
• Your mind will begin to wander, pulling you out of the present moment. That’s ok. Notice what your thoughts and feelings are doing like an outside observer and then allow yourself to return to your breathing
• If you’re feeling frustrated and bored, note that you’re having these feelings
• Notice where your thoughts are going and accept what’s happening
• When you are able to, return to the present moment and concentrate on your breathing.
• Continue this process until your timer rings or when you are ready to be done

Body scan

• Pay close attention to the physical sensations that are happening in your body. Anxious children will need help with this activity
• Notice whether you are stressed or relaxed – become aware of the feelings you are having
• Pay attention to the sensations in your feet. Notice whether you can feel any warmth, coolness, pressure or pain running over your skin
• Slowly move up your body to your calves, then in order of the following:
• Thighs
• Pelvis
• Stomach
• Chest
• Back
• Shoulders
• Arms
• Hands
• Fingers
• Neck
• And then, finally, your head
• Spend some time on each of the body parts, paying attention to the sensations around them

After you travel up your body, begin to move back down and go through each body part until you reach your feet again

Mindfulness exercises for children

The feeling exercise

• Collect some interesting objects such as feathers, play dough, stones or anything else that might be fun to hold. It’s a great way to enjoy therapeutic play.
• Give your child the object and ask them to spend a minute noticing how it feels in their hands.
• Ask the child to describe what they felt

The seeing game

• Ask your child to spend one minute looking around the room
• Their goal is to find things that they’ve never noticed before
• After the minute is up, ask the child to share the most interesting things they noticed.

Ocean breathing

• Deep breathing provides children with fantastic anxiety coping skills to calm their mind and body
• Ask your child to lie down or sit in a comfortable position
• Tell them to breathe in through their nose slowly and then out through pursed lips as if they are blowing through a straw.
• Point out that the slow and steady breathing sounds like ocean waves gently crashing on the shore.
• Let the child continue breathing and making the ocean sound for one to two minutes
• Deep breathing can calm an anxious child quickly and over time, through practice, they will learn to do this by themselves.
• Practice deep breathing by yourself too to feel its calming effects when you are stressed too.

The power of listening

• Ring a bell, or wind chimes or anything else that creates a long trailing sound
• Ask your child to listen and quietly raise their hand when they can no longer hear the sound
• After the ringing ends, ask your child to continue listening to any other sounds they can hear for the next minute.
• When the minute ends, ask them what sounds they heard

Build a stress ball

• Provide your child with a balloon, flour and funnels to build their own stress ball (you may want to double layer the balloons)
• You can use other filling options like rice, small beads or leftover dots from punched paper.
• Once the child has built their own stress ball, try using them with the feeling exercise

The body squeezing exercise

• Some other great coping strategies for kids is to pay attention to their body and squeeze the tension out.
• Ask your child to sit or lie down in a comfortable position
• Ask them to press and relax each of the muscles in their body one by one.
• They should hold each squeeze for about five seconds.
• After releasing the squeeze, ask the child to pay attention to how it feels when they relax.
• Use examples so children understand how to perform each action easier, for example:
  • Curl your toes tight like you are picking up a pencil with your feet
  • Tense your legs like you are standing on your tippy-toes, trying to look over a fence
  • Suck in your stomach as if you are trying to slide through a narrow opening
  • Make fists with your hands and pretend like you are trying to squeeze all the juice out of an orange
  • Pretend as if a bug landed on your nose, and you’re trying to get it off without using your hands. Try to scrunch your face and move your jaw to make it fly away

Naturally reduce anxiety with the five senses exercise

• Activities for children with anxiety should include using all of the senses. This is a great activity outside when the weather is nice
• Ask the child to lie quietly on the grass
• Begin to call out each of the five senses in turn (sight, smell, sound, taste, touch) and ask the child to notice everything they can using that particular sense until you call out the next one.
• This exercise also works well while walking too

Natural ways to reduce anxiety – Breaking the vicious circle of avoidance and anxiety

Imagine there’s a lake and it is freezing cold. You jump in feet first, and the shock of the cold water makes you rush out straight away. Your heart rate increases and you worry about the temperature of the water. You experience a range of physical symptoms. Would you want to do it again? Probably not. You would most likely want to avoid the lake altogether. If you do something and you really don’t like it, then it’s highly likely you won’t do it again.

If there is water in front of you, you would probably dip your toes in first to test whether the water was warm enough. You keep testing and testing until you finally get into the water. And, the water might feel warmer than the last time. So, what did you do? You took lots of small steps to get into the water.

It’s the same with anxiety. If you face something you are afraid of, you will get anxious about it, and your anxiety levels will go up. But, if you take small steps to expose yourself to that worry, you can reach your goal without avoiding the situation over time and you will experience natural anxiety relief.

Let’s use an example.

You fear dogs. A dog comes into the room and your anxiety levels rocket. You will probably be anxious for a while, so you avoid the situation, and eventually, your anxiety levels will come back down. But, we learned that avoiding the worry only offers temporary relief. And if you continue to avoid dogs, you will feel just as anxious the next time a dog comes into the room. You will be stuck in a vicious circle of avoidance and anxiety.

Below is a graph provided by Step2 CAMHS at the Multi-Family Anxiety Group Session (MFAGS) that shows how your anxiety levels would look when, in this example, you are faced with a dog. The dip shows what happens when you avoid the dog and eventually calm down.

Avoiding and running away a from the problem only manages your anxiety in the short term – it has changed nothing. Your anxiety will keep coming back until you finally face your fears.

Childhood anxiety treatment – break the vicious circle – exposure in small steps

You need to stop avoiding and expose yourself to your fears. But the best way to do this is to take it step-by-step, in small manageable pieces.

Let’s use our above example again.

You are faced with a dog again, and your anxiety levels go up. This time, however, either the dog is in the room, and you’re outside, or vice versa. You slowly realise that the dog can’t get to you and so your anxiety levels dip. You stayed with the anxiety until you realised the dog couldn’t hurt you.

If you kept doing this, again and again, your anxiety levels will drop quicker than the last time, and you will probably feel less anxious when you face your fear. Your anxiety will gradually reduce, and you will learn this fearful event is not what is causing you your fear.

This notion breaks the vicious circle of avoidance and anxiety, as you can see in the graph below, provided by Step2 CAMHS at the MFAGS.

We need to face our fears to overcome them. So if you have a phobia and you avoid it, you will be stuck in this vicious circle of avoidance and anxiety. But, if you face your fear, slowly and over time, then you can break that cycle, and your anxiety levels will naturally reduce on their own through stress management.

It can seem challenging, but if you follow the four below conditions, you can make exposure and habituation more effective [7]

Condition 1: Avoidance hierarchy – grade your worries

The first step is to grade your worries, from most anxious to least anxious, and then place your worries in order of the things you most want to avoid.

Below is a ladder worksheet from Psychology Tools you can print out and give to your child to fill out.

The ladder will help you and your child to identify the things they are avoiding at the moment. Place your most fearful concerns at the top and work downwards to medium and then to easy difficulty.

Once you have created your avoidance hierarchy, select one step that cause you some anxiety, but you feel you could manage. A good start would be to pick a worry that makes you around 50 – 60% anxious. Your child may put everything at the top as all worries feel horrible to them. Just pick the lowest worry on the ladder, to begin with.

Conditions 2 and 3: Prolong and Repeat – encourage the child to tolerate their anxiety

Once you have created your avoidance hierarchy ladder, select your first step and write this in the section on the worksheet below [8] provided by Step2 CAMHS at MFAGS.

For example, your goal may be to get your child to sleep in their room. So you use the worksheet above to write their goal and then write achievable steps they will take to achieve that goal.

Let’s use the above example of getting a child to sleep in their room to show possible steps

• 1^st step – Parents sit on the bed. Mum or dad stays with them every night. The first step might raise your child’s anxiety slightly, and so you ask them to rate that anxiety out of 10. Perhaps, it causes them to have an anxiety level of around 5/10, but do this every night until their anxiety levels go down. Wait until their anxiety levels are low before you move onto the next step
• 2^nd step – Parents sit on a seat by the door – Repeat this process until their anxiety levels dip before you move onto the next step
• 3^rd step – Parents sit outside the room – Continue this process until your child finally sleeps on their own

Repeat the steps until your child is no longer anxious or worried about this concern. Remember, parenting kids with anxiety disorders takes time, so use these steps to provide natural calmers for your child.

Condition 4: Without the distraction

Try to remove things from their hierarchy that reduce anxiety artificially or distract them from how they are feeling during these exposure exercises, like a comfort blanket or a night light. While it may seem like temporary anxiety relief for kids, they are in fact keeping your child stuck in that vicious circle.

Think about safety behaviours to manage and treat anxiety disorder symptoms. For example, your child always needs to have a cuddly teddy during sleep. Incorporate taking teddy away in the ladder as this is a safety behaviour.

This works for adults too. Work through your own ladder and find steps you can take to face your fear. The key is to take lots of little steps to get to your goal.

Finding time to do this is tough, but think about it like this. If you are paying for a football club, would you find time to take your child to every session? You would find the time, so find time for this exercise because it is a priority for your child’s mental health and these are proven natural remedies for anxiety in children.

Mark this exercise in your diary as if this is something you are paying for, but make it realistic. Perhaps only do ten minutes every day, so you and your child achieve the goal of facing your fears. You want something to change in them, so you need to take it seriously. Support them and follow these natural anxiety remedies.

What to give a child for anxiety – top ten natural remedies for child with anxiety and depression

Before you diagnose and medicate, some natural remedies can help reduce anxiety in children too. As you work through all the steps to reduce your child’s anxiety, you will now have a toolbox of natural remedies for childhood anxiety you can take with you to practice with your child. Below are some tools we learned to help you on the road to reducing anxiety in you and your children:

Below, I summarise natural remedies for child anxiety you can now practice at home every day.

1. Recognise anxiety when you have it
2. Practice breathing every day
3. Practice relaxation every day
4. Practice noticing thinking traps
5. Practice thought challenging – taking thoughts to court
6. Postpone your worries in a Worry Box and schedule Worry Time
7. Practice problem solving your thoughts
8. Practice mindfulness exercises to help you be in the present moment
9. Practice Ladder to success
10. Practice every day!

Remember anxiety is a common part of life and some stress can be good for you. But when you and your child are worrying all the time, then it’s time to put the above tools to reduce anxiety into action so you can both lead happy and healthy lives!

FAQ

What are the pros and cons of using melatonin?

Other questions asked were:

• Are there any natural remedies for reducing eliminating sleep related anxiety and insomnia?

Melatonin is a natural hormone produced by the brain’s pineal gland. However, some people are deficient in melatonin and may require an additional dose. Melatonin may help when your child is struggling to sleep or they are struggling with a shift in sleep patterns.

However, melatonin is not natural anxiety medication for children and avoid it if your child can’t sleep because of stress, they have anxiety (like social anxiety) or depression, they have already taken melatonin or if they’re using melatonin as a sleeping pill.

Can anxiety cause excess salivation?

CalmClinic says that anxiety can play a role in excess saliva and is rarely dangerous. But if it is impacting on you or your child’s life, there is no harm in seeing a doctor.

Is there a natural supplement for anxiety? Supplements to help childhood anxiety

Other questions asked were:

• Are there any herbal remedies for anxiety?
• Herbs to help soothe a child’s anxiety?
• Best herbal remedies for ages 13/teens?
• Are there any supplements for child anxiety?
• Natural remedies for anxiety in teenage girl?
• Are there any anxiety gummies for kids?
• Can I find natural medicine for anxiety in children?
• Are there any natural remedies for anger in children?
• Where can I find herbal remedies for anxiety in children?
• Is there an effective herbal treatment for anxiety?
• Herbal remedies for anxiety in children/teens?
• Supplements to help childhood anxiety?
• Natural ways to calm your child’s anxiety?
• Natural ways to help with anxiety?
• Herbal treatment for anxiety – is it effective?
• Is there any natural anxiety relief for kids?
• Are there any natural remedies for anxiety in kids?
• Please share home remedies for child anxiety
• Best way to treat anxiety naturally?
• How to calm anxiety naturally?
• What can I give my child to calm anxiety?
• Can I give my child anything for anxiety?
• Are there any natural remedies or supplements to help with anxiety stress relief?

The best herbal supplements include:

• Kava
• Passion flower
• Valerian
• Chamomile
• Lemon Balm
• Lavender

Other options include CBD oil and cognitive behavioural therapy if you don’t want to use natural anxiety supplements. Speak to your GP to discuss anxiety supplements for kids and get medical advice. In the meantime, for child anxiety treatment at home, try the tips above.

What are signs of anxiety in children/teens?

“Symptoms of anxiety in teenagers

Recurring fears and worries about routine parts of everyday life.

Irritability.

Trouble concentrating.

Extreme self-consciousness or sensitivity to criticism.

Withdrawal from social activity.

Avoidance of difficult or new situations.

Chronic complaints about stomachaches or headaches.”

https://childmind.org/article/signs-of-anxiety-in-teenagers/

What can I do to help my child’s anxiety?

Other questions asked were:

• Handy tips for addressing anxiety in children
• Natural remedies for child with anxiety
• What are natural remedies to help with anxiety?
• What are some natural remedies for anxiety and depression instead of antidepressants for a 19 year old girl?
• What are natural remedies for anxiety and depression?
• What are the home remedies for anxiety and depression?
• Natural cure for nervousness?
• What are some natural remedies for anxiety and nervousness?
• What are some natural remedies for paranoia?
• What is the strongest natural anxiety medication?
• Natural remedies for child anger?
• How to control anxiety in children/teens?
• What is the best natural treatment for anxiety?
• What are your instant home remedies for treating depression?

“The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to help a child manage it.

Don’t avoid things just because they make a child anxious.

Express positive — but realistic — expectations.

Respect their feelings, but don’t empower them.

Don’t ask leading questions.

Don’t reinforce the child’s fears.”

https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/

Can conditions such as depression and anxiety be successfully treated without medication and via natural home remedies?

Other questions asked were:

• What are some good homeopathic remedies for treating anxiety and stress?
• What is the best natural anti anxiety remedy?
• What herbs are good for anxiety in kids?
• What can you give a child for anxiety?
• What is the best natural remedy for ongoing anxiety?
• Conventional treatment for childhood anxiety?
• What can help with anxiety in a child?
• Is there are any integrative treatment for anxiety in children?
• How do I calm my child with depression and anxiety?

“Anxiety is a beast, but it is possible to win the battle without medication. Sometimes, overcoming worry and nervousness is simply a matter of modifying your behavior, thoughts, and lifestyle. You can start with a drug-free approach, and then speak with a doctor if your symptoms don’t improve or worsen.”

https://www.healthline.com/health/effective-ways-to-fight-anxiety-without-drugs

What are scientifically proven methods to cure anxiety?

“Exercise. Stress hormones: Exercise actually lowers your body’s stress hormones – such as cortisol. …

Deep breathing exercises. …

Take control. …

Say no. …

Stop procrastinating. …

Write things down. …

Spend time with friends and family. …

Increase physical contact.”

Can Zoloft treat anxiety in children?

Other questions asked are:

• Where can I find FDA-approved medications for pediatric anxiety?

“SSRIs that are commonly prescribed for anxiety in children and teenagers include: Zoloft (sertraline) Prozac (fluoxetine)”

https://childmind.org/article/medications-for-anxiety-in-children

What are the causes of stress and anxiety in children and young people?

“Social factors such as peer exclusion, bullying, parental domestic violence, parental drug and alcohol misuse, bereavement and family breakdown are some of the key examples that may underpin anxiety development.”

Social factors such as peer exclusion, bullying, parental domestic violence, parental drug and alcohol misuse, bereavement and family breakdown are some of the key examples that may underpin anxiety development.

Where can I find natural remedies for ADHD in children?

“Studies show that omega-3 fatty acids (with high doses of EPA) are modestly effective in treating ADHD in children. Fish oil helps to increase levels of omega-3s that are often naturally lacking in children with ADHD, which in turns helps with brain functioning.”

https://www.additudemag.com/natural-remedies-adhd-children-nutrition-exercise-sleep/

Do Bach flower remedies work for anxiety?

“Rescue Remedy is perfect for moments when you are stricken with anxiety and your heart is racing. It calms down your nervous system. White Chestnut is for negative mind chatter, helping to relax you.”

https://www.naturopathy-uk.com/news/blog/2020/04/06/feeling-anxious/

What are the natural ingredient replacement remedies for Quetiapine for anxiety and depression?

“Omega-3 fatty acids were shown to be effective as an alternative to Seroquel and other medications in some studies.”

https://www.alternativetomeds.com/blog/seroquel-alternatives/

Can social anxiety increase if not treated?

It can be very distressing if you suffer from social anxiety. For some people social anxiety gets better but for others you may need treatment to help manage and treat symptoms.

It’s important to get help by speaking to your GP who will ask you about your feelings, behaviours and symptoms to find out about your anxiety in social situations. If they think you suffer from social anxiety they will refer you to a mental health specialist who can fully assess you and talk about treatments.

You can also refer yourself directly to an NHS psychological therapies service without GP referral.

How long does it take for anxiety symptoms to pass if the feeling of anxiety is gone? Is it a type of PTSD, i.e. I used to be anxious about going somewhere and would get symptoms when I got there now I am not anxious but I still get symptoms

Other questions asked were:

• How effective are natural remedies for treating anxiety related pain?

This is a difficult question because it would depend on the symptoms and why they would manifest themselves in certain ways. Re-experiencing a trauma is the most typical symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which can come in the form of flashbacks, nightmares, repetitive and distressing images and sensations and physical sensations, such as pain, sweating, feeling sick or trembling.

If these symptoms are having an impact on your life it is important you speak to a healthcare professional about it and take steps to manage your symptoms as they won’t go away on their own.

What is the impact of bullying in the anxiety development of teenagers?

Bullying can make a child feel isolated, worthless, lonely, anxious and angry, which may lead to eating problems, low self-esteem, depression and maybe even self-harm, drugs and alcohol. Teenagers are at that crucial time when they are transitioning from finding their self-worth from their family to self-worth from their friends and if they are surrounded by negative emotions this may cause them to take a turn for the worse.

It’s important to stay on top of your child’s mental health if they are being bullied and speak to them about it. Do not ignore bullying as it won’t make it go away. If the bullying is happening at school, talk to the teacher and find out whether the school knows anything about it. If the bullying is happening outside of school, find out where it is coming from and take steps to remove your teenager from the situation. Or you could speak to the parents or other youth workers and leaders who may be able to help.

If it’s happening online then you can report the abusive posts online and other social media platforms. You can also report the abuse to the CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre). Keep reporting until the bullying stops and speak to the Young Minds’ Parents Helpline for more advice on how to help your child through bullying.

What are the basic signs of having depression?

Depression can manifest itself in many different ways but some basic symptoms can include:

• Losing interest or withdrawing from activities
• Feeling a sense of hopelessness
• Feeling tired or being unable to sleep
• Unable to concentrate
• Irritable and risky behaviour
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Appetite and weight changes
• Lack of emotional control
• Feeling pessimistic
• Thoughts or actions of self-harm

What are the ultimate alternatives to coping with anxiety and depression?

Other questions asked were:

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• Are there any natural remedies for anxiety relief that can be used daily
• Are there any natural remedies for managing anxiety?

There are alternative treatments that may help with anxiety and we will be focussing on what these are in later articles in the series. For children, you could try the following to see if they help with managing anxiety:

• Eating a balanced diet
• Drinking more water
• Get regular exercise and outdoor time
• Get plenty of sleep
• Incorporate massages into the child’s daily routine
• Breathing techniques which we’ve talked about above
• Meditation
• Yoga
• Multivitamins/supplements to counteract any deficiency in vitamins and minerals

Is social anxiety disorder just persecutory delusions?

When someone experiences persecutory delusions (PD), which is a form of paranoia, they firmly believe that a person or group wants to hurt them despite there being no evidence to support this. Social Affective Disorder (SAD) is where a person is intensely concerned about other people’s opinions towards them.

A study published in 2011 examined the link between SAD and psychotic symptoms like PD. The study found very little research on a link but looked upon three cases that showed a possible association between PD and SAD. One possibility was that the stressor aspect of SAD made individuals more likely to have delusional disorder. Another possibility was that SAD is caused by abnormal thought rather than anxious insecurity which led to a concern of other people’s opinions.

They concluded that the association between SAD and PD was difficult to determine and could change throughout the disorder. Antipsychotics also didn’t prove to work very well so they proposed to focus more on the SAD aspect to see whether management of the disorder could reduce symptoms of PD. There did seem to be a symptomatic spectrum between SAD and delusional disorders though.

How is anxiety somewhat similar to allergies?

There was a study published in 2009 that examined whether the link between anxiety and allergies was a psychobiological reality or a possible methodological bias. The study concluded there was a significant association between anxiety disorders and stress reactivity to allergies, however, these allergies were self-reported and not medically verified.

Did this mean that those who self-reported an allergy were more sensitive to the changes in their body or did they worry needlessly about physical problems? The study suggested that anxious people were more likely to misinterpret, misreport or were more sensitive to problems but did not actually experience more allergies. The only way to prove this is to provide a similar study on those with objectively verified allergies to find a link between anxiety and allergy disorder.

Remember, If you don’t relax, you don’t know when you are tense either so it is essential to try the breathing and relaxation techniques to calm your breathing down and reconnect that clever thinking part of your brain so you can work through your worries together and provide the same techniques to your child.

Why has my anxiety gotten worse lately?

You tend not to have control over what pops up in your head and the emotions you feel, so when someone says to ‘stop worrying about it’, it’s not so clear cut. Unfortunately, the more you don’t want to think about that certain anxiety, the more you will think about it. Certain stressors are anxiety triggers that could worsen anxiety and lead to severe anxiety symptoms if you don’t take steps to control them.

Can social anxiety get worse?

Untreated social anxiety disorder can cause a major impact on life and become chronic without treatment. Therapy, medication and other alternative methods can help to manage and even treat symptoms of social anxiety, so seek professional help as soon as possible.

Does anxiety get worse at night?

There are many reasons for anxiety getting worse at night and these could be daily stressors like poor sleep habits, lifestyle choices and other health conditions which can lead to anxiety and panic attacks at night. Other stressors could be worrying about something which has happened during the day and any long-term issues like bullying, studying, screen time content and relationships. It’s important to work out the trigger for your anxieties and what’s keeping you up and night because of your anxiety.

Does anxiety get worse on your period?

Another question asked was ‘can anxiety get worse before your period?’

Women experience a whole heap of side effects with periods and one of them is anxiety, thanks to fluctuating hormones. Understanding how hormones play a role in anxiety is key to helping you cope with your PMS. Some triggers for anxiety can include:

• Changing cortisol levels in the blood
• Stress-inducing situations
• Sex hormone imbalance
• Fear

Does anxiety get worse with pregnancy?

Pregnancy can be an exciting and daunting time for mums, especially new mums. But, can anxiety get worse when pregnant? It can absolutely do so because pregnancy also comes with a whole heap of worries, as well as mental and physical health changes which can drain you while you’re carrying your child.

Worrying about the health of the baby, your own health, and every niggling symptom you feel can cause anxiety to get worse. It’s important to note what are realistic worries and take steps to manage them ASAP. For example, if you are exhibiting any worrying symptoms like bleeding, cramping and headaches that’s when you should consult your health professional as soon as possible.

Does anxiety get worse with menopause?

Menopause is not often talked about, which makes it difficult for women who experience menopause symptoms. One of these symptoms is anxiety, with many women not realising there is a link between menopause and anxiety.

There are a lot of new experiences that happen when you go through menopause, for example, night sweats and hot flashes. It may become more difficult for you to sleep and a lack of sleep can trigger anxiety. Sometimes the menopause can cause women to experience panic attacks, especially those who have experienced anxiety in the past.

If you spot signs anxiety is getting worse then call on the management techniques that worked for you in the past or try some other strategies we’ve already talked about already, like square breathing, mindfulness and meditation. Other strategies could include writing a journal of your symptoms and keeping up with your healthy lifestyle to maintain your physical and mental health.

Can anxiety get worse if not treated?

As with any anxiety disorders, the more you ignore them the stronger they become. It’s important to ensure that anxiety doesn’t impact your life. If anxiety symptoms get worse then you must speak to a GP who can provide medical advice and treatment on how to manage your anxiety or visit your local health clinic for more advice.

We are now going to discuss the following:

• What are good ways to deal with anxiety? A list of coping skills for kids
• Fun activities to reduce anxiety and increase mental health
• Problem-solving your thoughts
• Postponing your thoughts until Worry Time
• Worry box
• Worry Time
• Flowchart
• Mindfulness
• Mindfulness exercises for children

Why are so many teens claiming to have depression or anxiety?

Teenagers are under an immense amount of pressure. Today’s teens also have the added pressure of screentime and conforming to what they think is real life where nothing could be further from the ‘truth’ that’s shown on social media.

Teens are also going through a number of physical and mental changes and it’s hard to keep up with those changes and deal with outside pressure too. It’s important to stay present for your child and ensure you are an open door so if life is getting tough for your teen child they can come to you when they need help.

What are the side effects of not having socialisation?

If you are isolated and don’t socialise with others then you run the risk of feeling lonely, developing a fear of being around others (social anxiety disorder) and negative self-esteem.

It’s important to maintain some form of communication channels with your friends and family whether it be just online to begin with or for five minutes every day. Then work on slowly building on that time and speaking with a health professional about how you can overcome any social anxiety fears and make real-life relationships.

Want to build your child’s self-esteem and confidence? Start the 9-part journey now!

Why does extreme stress or trauma makes one unconscious? Natural remedies for extreme anxiety?

We’ve talked about your brain being like a computer (here) and it works pretty much the same way as if a computer short-circuited.

When extreme stress or trauma happens, the body’s natural reaction is to protect the rest of the body’s systems and shut down. The body goes into self-preservation mode to keep us alive while it works without our control. The best way to do that is if you are unconscious because of the overload from the external environment.

What’s the ultimate alternative to coping with anxiety and depression?

Other questions asked were:

• What are some natural remedies for anxiety and stress related breathing problems?

If you have tried problem-solving activities, breathing techniques, mindfulness and other management activities we’ve talked about then the best alternative is to seek professional help. Anxiety and depression do not go away on their own, so if you need further assistance in the form of therapy or medication then seek it out as soon as possible so you can take steps to manage and even treat your anxiety and depression.

How does one make friends when they have social anxiety?

This is a great question and one that involves time and patience. If you’re not a social butterfly then making friends can be difficult, but if you have social anxiety it can be even harder to take that first step to make friends.

Healthline.com says:

• Agree to disagree with your negative thoughts
• Fight, not flight. Don’t run away from your worries, face them head on!
• Monitor your tech intake – don’t use online relationships to shy away from real-life relationships
• Try a test run – practice the commute, visit coffee shops etc
• Consider cognitive behavioural therapy
• Always remember self-care

What are some ways to cope with general sadness?

Sadness is a normal general emotion but when you continue to experience sadness, it can really impact your life. Gundersenhealth.com says:

• Allow yourself to be sad because denying feelings may force them underground and cause more damage with time.
• Write in a journal, listen to music, spend time with friends and family
• Think about the context of the sad feelings. Are they related to loss or an event?
• Is the sadness a result of change?
• Know when sadness turns into depression. If this is the case, seek professional help as soon as possible

What are some good discussion questions for an anxiety and depression support group?

Stick to questions that help to increase motivation and confidence like:

• What makes you feel better when you’re depressed or anxious?
• What makes you feel worse when you’re depressed or anxious?
• What tools or skills are great for helping with reducing anxiety?
• Why physical feelings are linked to anxiety and depression?

What are the strategies to cope with the stress related to personal relationship stress?

We’ve touched upon a lot of the strategies in this article. Please see above.

Is it unhealthy to use fantasy as a coping mechanism?

Escaping to the fantasy world from time to time is normal but it can become dangerous if it becomes so much a part of your life you find it difficult to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

What should I do if my work stress is killing me?

Nypost.com says:

• Speak up sooner rather than later
• Take care of yourself
• It’s not just about you – job-related stress can spill onto families and marriages too
• Before you accept a job offer, ask about the quality of life, i.e. what matters to you regarding work/life balance

What’s a good inspirational story about stress and stress management?

Click this link to find an inspiration glass of water story on Quora here.

What are some of the best books on stress management?

I have found some high rated books on stress management for kids on Amazon. Check these out below:

Teaching a child to cope with anxiety is fundamental for their mental health, and by practising therapeutic activities for anxiety to keep kids calm, then kids can learn coping mechanisms too. It’s important you practice these anxiety activities too so you can reduce your anxious feelings and pass on valuable lessons to your child.

The purpose of mindfulness is to bring you back to the present moment so your child is not thinking about their worries until Worry Time.

Resources

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5573560/
2. https://www-cambridge-org.ezproxy.herts.ac.uk/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/7C1B81389E1F17D50310A42DF8DF32AF/S0954579417000372a.pdf/impact_of_life_stress_on_adult_depression_and_anxiety_is_dependent_on_gender_and_timing_of_exposure.pdf
3. https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-244X-14-6
4. https://www-sciencedirect-com.ezproxy.herts.ac.uk/science/article/pii/S0191886910005532
5. http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au
6. https://www-emeraldinsight-com.ezproxy.herts.ac.uk/doi/full/10.1108/JMD-09-2015-0127
7. © Marie Chellingsworth & Paul Farrand, 2010 – 2014
8. Materials and Worksheets from Anxiety by Paul Stallard published by Routledge

The above article has been written for informational purposes. Please seek professional medical advice if you or your child suffers from anxiety which isn’t getting better.