Phantom pregnancy stories – from a cryptic pregnancy to a phantom pregnancy

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One afternoon (according to my journal it was Jan 30th, 2016), I was dancing with my toddler and 6-month-old when I was overcome by a sudden dizzy, nauseous, weak sensation all over my entire body. I distinctly remember that the feeling of weakness was so intense that for the rest of the day I felt completely out of it and continued to feel nauseous and very dizzy.

This was very hard to deal with, as I was a stay-at-home-mom of 2 under 2 with little help. I remember thinking I was only six months postpartum and still exclusively breastfeeding my youngest son, so I had yet to start my first postpartum period.

I decided that because I felt so odd and out of the ordinary I’d look at my fertility app where I had been keeping track of the times my husband and I were intimate. Although I didn’t have any data for bleeding or spotting logged into the app, I knew I had logged a day where my husband and I had not been as careful as hoped. So, I investigated and realized the day I felt weak, nauseous, and dizzy was exactly 14 days after my husband and I had our “accident”. This sent me into a state of panic. I was overwhelmed with anxiety thinking about what if I was pregnant? Was this coincidence or fate?

Just a little back story for you… Only 36 days prior, I felt weak, nauseous, and dizzy. Me, my husband, and both my sons were in a rollover accident in the snow. My husband, my oldest son, and I were all fine, but my son Sawyer was somehow ejected from his car seat and was found underneath the rear side passenger window buried in the snow.

After being flown to the nearest Children’s Hospital (a 40-minute flight) and thoroughly examined by three doctors, by the grace of God, it was found he only had a very small hairline fracture in his left femur. The stress, anxiety, and fear a parent feels when almost losing a child is traumatic. Saying this experience was disturbing feels like an understatement.

I explain this back story because it is important to understand that I was still coping and accepting what had happened only five weeks before. The amount of adrenaline that continued to pump through my system was intense.

After the day I felt weak, nauseous, and dizzy, I took notice of increasing symptoms, and the progression of the symptoms I had been experiencing before. After researching hCG, and the accuracy of pregnancy tests, as well as how some women don’t test positive until later into the pregnancy, I took three pregnancy tests throughout February, which all came back with a negative result. After more searches for “testing negative but still pregnant” or “pregnant with negative tests” I came across and became very active in the Cryptic Pregnancy Community.

In March, after I continued experiencing the same symptoms as well as began developing new symptoms such as tender breasts, stiff back, bloating, increased sense of smell, more acne, and belly growth, I began the exciting journey of documenting my experience on YouTube hoping to get the word out about this strange pregnancy experience.

At the very end of March, I began feeling flutters, pokes, and rolls which I thought was around the beginning of the second trimester. These sensations started sporadically and then progressed to become more frequent, regular, and varied in duration. As the phantom pregnancy (or pseudocyesis) progressed into the final months, these movements and feelings even responded to sound, light, and sugary foods.

At the end of April, after contacting some Cryptic Pregnancy Leaders and Administrators directly and being told I was, in fact, pregnant, I even became 100% convinced that it could be twins. Starting my YouTube Channel connected me to other women who also felt they were pregnant but couldn’t prove it. I began a direct correspondence with a few of them, sharing stories, hopes for the pregnancy, and validation of pregnancy symptoms and experiences.

By this time, May was around the corner, and my belly was measured to be around the right size for the gestation I estimated my unborn baby/babies to be. It was very round, firm, and noticeable. I had found a heartbeat, or what I had interpreted as a Fetal heartbeat, using an at-home Doppler. I was feeling regular round ligament pains, stretching, and pulling. My uterus felt very heavy and full.

I had about three months of research under my belt on how a Cryptic Pregnancy can happen. I had more than a dozen stories from real women who had shared their past or present Cryptic Pregnancy Experience with me personally. I knew this was happening to me, but most of all I knew this is exactly what was happening to my baby or babies, with no doubt!

No one knows my body better than me. Therefore, no one could tell me I was NOT pregnant.

That was until I laid waiting on the table in the ultrasound room exactly 28 days later…

I sent the email below to a woman who believed herself to be cryptically pregnant. She stopped correspondence before she updated me about the birth of her potential baby, so I don’t know what happened to her, which makes me sad. I hope she is well.

The email was written on May 20th, 2016, six days before I had an ultrasound, and seven days after a negative blood pregnancy test.

“Hello ____________!

Believe in YOURSELF! You know what is right for you. Trust your body!

So, I will be 20 (18) weeks tomorrow! Can you believe it? We have been in correspondence for a little over two months now! I will start pregnancy yoga on Monday, so I can deeply connect spiritually with these two little beings in my belly. I still think it is twins for a handful of reasons but the two major ones are: 1.) I feel distinct movement down low and high at the same time for about 4 weeks now and I am pretty sure the baby is not big enough then or now to be doing it alone. 2.) I found a heartbeat and hear movement with the Doppler on my left side (left lower quadrant) and on the right side (right upper quadrant)”

Something keeps telling me I’m having twins (boy-girl twins) just like something was telling me I was pregnant when I was trying to figure it all out. I also have this feeling it is a boy and a girl. We shall see!!!“

Six days later, I went in for my very, very, very anticipated vaginal ultrasound. The tech had me drink 32oz of water, strip from the waist down, and climb on the table. First, she used the abdominal probe to look at my entire abdomen and measure all my organs. After this, she proceeded with the pelvic examination and she inserted the vaginal probe. This is what I was waiting for with such anticipation. FINALLY, VALIDATION! I stared at the monitor beyond nervous to see my babies on the screen. I couldn’t wait to tell my husband and the world that I was right.

After about three minutes, I realized I saw nothing even close to resembling a baby. I saw nothing I had seen on the screen with my other babies. The tech said nothing except “your uterus looks normal” and she continued measuring my teeny tiny normal sized non-fluid filled baby lacking uterus. I felt so embarrassed. Defeated. Ashamed. Guilty. Vulnerable. Used. Wronged.

I hated that I was so sure I was pregnant. I hated that I was wrong. So wrong. I hated that my body had betrayed me, tricked me, played a cruel joke on me.

I was sent into a state of panic in my condition. I left the hospital and went straight to my doctor’s office. I couldn’t wait one more second. I needed test results interpreted NOW! My doctor had assured me she had requested the ultrasound technician to look for a baby or any signs of pregnancy.

I was sent on my way to cope and interpret my experience all by myself. After extensive research, I had found very limited resources for phantom pregnancy, and this is something I hope to change with the development of a website and my continued platform on YouTube and Facebook.

After I shared my personal story, health and ultrasound results with other women in the Cryptic Pregnancy Community, I was ridiculed, slandered, and blocked from these groups and profiles. One leader tried to convince me I was pregnant, but I had lost the baby before I had my ultrasound. She told me the baby had dissolved and was absorbed by my body, which is why I didn’t bleed, and the baby didn’t show up during the scan.

I was quickly shunned from the community that so eagerly validated my pregnancy suspicions but once I didn’t think or believe I was pregnant anymore these women who claimed to be just helping and supportive dropped me like a rotten potato about to infect the entire last crop!

So, I again took to social media after a few months of figuring it out, trying to cope with the news, and share my latest news across Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.

I began educating, spreading awareness, providing support to women with phantom pregnancy cases and most importantly investigating the claims these women pass around as the ultimate truth in the Cryptic Pregnancy Community. I feel many women can relate to my story or experience, not only with falsely believing that you are pregnant but also having to admit that you were wrong to a few hundred followers, and, being misled and deceived by someone or in my case an entire community of men and women, who believe in their false pregnancy and who have an extreme desire in wanting you to believe that you are pregnant too.

If you have any cryptic pregnancy stories, phantom pregnancy stories, or you are experiencing phantom pregnancy symptoms then please visit Cristal’s Facebook group for support here.

FAQ

What is a phantom pregnancy?

A phantom pregnancy is an abnormal condition in which pregnancy symptoms occur because of the body thinking it’s pregnant but the woman is not actually pregnant. It can sometimes be called a hysterical pregnancy but some women also refer to the condition as pseudo pregnancies which is the false pregnancy medical term.

At this time, there is no definite answer to why there is phantom pregnancy in women, but mental health professionals believe it may be related to an intense desire or fear of becoming pregnant. There may or may not be a history of mental health issues or a life-changing situation which has caused this desire or fear. But it affects the endocrine system. which can cause fake pregnancy symptoms.

What are the causes of movement in your lower abdomen but you’re not pregnant?

The movement may be down to digestion, indigestion, ovulation or muscle spasm. A phantom pregnancy belly may be bloated because of an intolerance for certain foods which may cause gas. Visit here for more information.

Can you have a false pregnancy?

Another question asked was, ‘Can you have false pregnancy symptoms?’

False pregnancies, also known as pseudo pregnancy in women or a phantom pregnancy does not mean the woman is pregnant but may show psychological pregnancy symptoms. Therefore, you cannot have a false pregnancy but you may experience a psychological pregnancy which isn’t real.

Can you be pregnant for years – cryptic pregnancy?

A cryptic pregnancy is one that is missed by pregnancy tests and ultrasounds but some false pregnancy stories claim to occur because of an abnormally slow-growing foetus and gestate for years or even decades. You cannot be pregnant for years as this is physically impossible. Pregnancy lasts for a maximum of 42 weeks before health professionals will request to induce a pregnant woman or perform a c section if the baby doesn’t come naturally.

If you’re pregnant, grab your free pregnancy pack now – details inside!