8 ways to prioritise ‘me time’ when solo parenting

Nobody can deny that being a parent is hard work. You handle a fragile but precious life, and parenting can consume much of your life. Your priorities change significantly, which means you may skip any personal time too. Solo parenting, in particular, comes with unique challenges, from changing family dynamics, new co parenting schedules, managing stress levels to balancing work obligations and family life on your own.

Once you’ve separated with the help of a family law solicitor in Eastbourne, it’s important to look after your needs. Let’s look at eight creative strategies on juggling work and family, prioritising ‘me time’, and coping with the higher levels of stress with solo parenting, so you can learn how to strike a better balance between your responsibilities and your hobbies and interests – and become yourself again.

1. Set clear boundaries

The first thing you can do to prioritise some personal time is to set clear boundaries about when you want to take a breather, even if it’s just for an hour. An hour can make all the difference when you’re overstimulated and overwhelmed!

If you allot a specific time each week for yourself, then you can build a schedule and make plans for someone to take care of your child. It may seem difficult to draw these lines at first, but you must remember that you are a person outside of being a parent. Stick to these ‘me time’ periods, because it’s easy to sacrifice them.

2. Involve your support network

If you can, collaborate with friends and a family unit to prioritise personal time. You may struggle to find or afford childcare responsibilities for when you need some ‘me time,’ so using friends and family for help is a cheaper alternative. Friends and family may relish an opportunity to be part of your child’s life, especially your parents or close friends. If you can leave your children with them for a few hours each week, it’ll help you unwind and manage the stress of solo parenting.

3. Embrace technology

We live in an era where technology has never been easier to use. There are countless apps out there for self-care and maintaining emotional and psychological well-being.

You could embrace technology both in your time and on a daily basis. You can simplify tasks and keep track of what you’re doing for self-care a lot easier. Apps like Headspace, which offers quick ten-minute guided meditation sessions, can be particularly helpful for solo parents who are trying to manage stress. There’s a little escapism in online games too, of course. For example, solitaire can help you focus on stacking cards and matching suits. Match that with deep breathing, and all of a sudden you’ve relaxed more than you had expected.

4. Engage in short, meaningful activities

What activities bring you joy? If your personal time is in short supply — like a few hours each week — then focus on doing something that can be enjoyed in short bursts. Reading a book or meditating are important self-care activities and can be done quickly with little preparation. These are often the best activities for ‘me time’ — but don’t be afraid to try what works for you.

5. Focus on quality over quantity

If you don’t have a lot of personal time, then you need to make the most of what you have available. This is key to getting a physically and mentally nourishing ‘me time’ session. It might tempt you to mindlessly scroll social media, but try to do something more substantial — something you know will make you feel better and help you manage the stress of solo parenting.

6. Practice self-compassion

It is normal to feel guilty or even like a ‘bad’ parent if you try to spend time away from your kids. This is a normal mentality but also one which is not correct.

First, and most importantly, you are still a person, and your emotional, physical, and psychological well-being is important. Second, your kids deserve you at your best, which means taking care of yourself. You should never feel bad for needing time for yourself, especially on bad days.

7. Pursue hobbies and interests

Your hobbies and interests are a vital part of who you are, and it is easy to neglect them as a parent. Therefore, when getting some ‘me time,’ try to pursue them again. You should come away from your time feeling refreshed and re-energised.

8. Celebrate you

When you finally carve out some personal time, consider indulging in simple, yet luxurious activities that help you feel special. Herbal tea can be naturally calming, so why not drink some tea while reading an inspiring book? Just make sure the caffeine content isn’t too high because that can only exacerbate the sense of stress. Green tea is a good option (not matcha), as is peppermint and camomile. Lemon tea can also be naturally soothing, as can ginger.

Adding a touch of elegance to your appearance can be incredibly uplifting. For those with a penchant for fine jewellery, consider gifting yourself a piece of tanzanite earrings. This might be the perfect way to enhance your ‘me time.’ These stunning pieces are visually striking and evoke a sense of calm. Whether lounging at home with a good book or stepping out for a casual outing, adorning yourself with tanzanite earrings can make those moments feel extra special and celebrate the time you’ve dedicated to yourself.

The Importance of building positive relationships with children as a solo parent

As a solo parent, you have sole responsibility for both roles: the only parent who is the nurturer and the provider, the soft-spoken and the disciplinarian. It can be challenging, but with patience, understanding, and a lot of love, you can successfully build positive relationships with your children. Positive relationships, in turn, can help kids understand why you may need ‘me time’ now and again because it helps you regulate, so you can tackle the overwhelming long hours and stressful nights when solo parenting.

Building a strong relationship with your children will take time and patience, but it’s worth the effort. These connections will serve as a strong foundation for their development and well-being and help you balance your life between you and your kids. It’s generally a good idea to tire your kids out before embarking on solo activities so your kids are calmer when you go,

It’s okay to have time alone

Looking for some ‘me time’ is not a bad thing. You deserve to feel like a person with a life outside of your children. In fact, happy single mothers raising happy healthy children is more important than an unhappy couple in a house full of anxiety.

We know it’s hard to get personal time as a solo parent. However, if you work with your friends and family, it becomes a lot easier. Hopefully, you’ll find the space you need to recharge and rejuvenate yourself!

The contents of this article are intended as advice and guidance for seeking a better balance between parental responsibilities and personal well-being. It is not a substitution for medical advice and intervention regarding depression, anxiety or other mental health issues. Please consult a doctor if you are in physical or psychological distress.

FAQ

What is a solo parent?

Other questions asked were:

• What’s your definition of single mom?
• Who is considered solo parent?
• Who are solo parents?
• What is the difference between single parenting and solo parenting?

Solo moms are often defined as a person who is solely responsible for the upbringing of a child or children because of the absence of the other parent from the household. This term might be used in different situations such as:

• A single parent who has full custody of the children and the other parent is not involved in the children’s lives.
• A person who has become a parent through single parent adoption, artificial insemination, or surrogacy and there is no second parent involved.
• A widow or widower raising children after the death of their spouse.

Being a solo parent is a major responsibility as they have to handle all aspects of child rearing, from emotional support systems to financial provision, on their own. They also have to juggle their own personal needs and responsibilities with those of their children.

It’s important to note that while the term “single parent” is often used interchangeably with “solo parent,” some people prefer the latter term because it highlights the fact that they are managing all parenting responsibilities on their own. The term “single parent” can sometimes imply that the other parent might still be involved in raising the children, even if the parents are not together, which is not always the case.

Is solo parenting hard?

Yes, solo parenting has its own challenges. Being the only person responsible for all aspects of a child’s care, including emotional, physical, and financial needs, can be overwhelming. Here are a few of the difficulties solo parents often face:

1. Financial Struggles: A solo parent is often the sole breadwinner of the family at the end of the day. This can lead to financial strain, as they must provide for all the needs of the family on a single income.
2. Time Management: Balancing work, child-rearing duties, household chores, and personal time can be incredibly challenging.
3. Parenting Decisions: Making all decisions about a child’s upbringing alone can be difficult, especially without another parent to discuss or share those decisions or when you have little support because of different parenting styles.
4. Lack of Personal Time: It can be challenging for solo parents to find time for their own needs and personal interests.
5. Fatigue: Managing all tasks related to the children and the home can be exhausting.

Despite these challenges, many solo parents also find the experience to be rewarding and empowering. It’s important to remember that help is available, including support groups, counselling, and various social services. Building a support network, prioritising self-care, and seeking assistance when necessary can help solo parents manage these challenges. Every parent’s situation is unique, and what feels hard for one might not for another. The most important thing is to stay positive, reach out for help when you need it, and remember that you’re doing the best you can for your children.

When to use solo parent leave?

Other questions asked were:

• Is solo parent leave mandatory?
• Is solo parent leave paid?
• Who are entitled to solo parent leave?

Solo parent leave, where it’s available, provides solo parents with additional time off work to fulfil their parental responsibilities. When you use your solo parent leave, would depend on your specific needs, your children’s needs, and the regulations in your jurisdiction. Here are a few general scenarios where you might use it:

1. If your child has a doctor’s appointment or needs to undergo medical treatment, you may use your solo parent leave.
2. You may use your leave to attend your child’s school activities or parent-teacher conferences that typically happen during working hours.
3. If your child is unwell and needs to be taken care of at home, you may use your leave.
4. Any unexpected situation or emergency related to your child could be a reason to use your solo parent leave.
5. Solo parenting can be stressful and draining. You may use some of your leave for self-care to ensure you’re at your best for your child.

The specific eligibility requirements and processes to apply for solo parent leave can vary, so it’s important to understand the laws in your particular country or state and the policies of your employer. Always communicate your needs clearly and in advance with your employer.

Not all jurisdictions have explicit solo parent leave policies, but many have various family or sick leave policies that can cover the needs of solo parents. Check the current regulations and provisions in your area for more accurate information.

*Collaborative feature post*