How to talk to your daughter about her period
For most girls, the subject of their first period is quite taboo and the thought of discussing menstruation can leave you both feeling a little uncomfortable when the situation arises. But, kids need to learn about periods eventually and the best place to start is at home. Helping your child understand how the body changes during puberty (like growing pubic hair and starting her period) will encourage your daughter to make good decisions about her health going forward.
So below is a parent’s ultimate guide to periods and how to talk to your daughter about her period when the time comes.
How to support your daughter with her first period
Supporting your daughter during her first period is crucial to help her feel confident, understood, and cared for. We will go through some ways you can help support your daughter, from the initial talk to preparing a period kit when her period starts – and everything in between!
Should boys know about periods too?
Boys are sometimes left out of the talk about periods, which means they end up viewing periods as a dirty topic when they’re older. Get any men in your life involved in the conversation about periods as soon as possible, even explaining period embarrassing moments their sister/mum/auntie/wife may go through and what period products to buy if they are ever asked to do so.
The more you discuss girls’ puberty with your sons, the better brothers, husbands and fathers they will become when their close female friends and family finally get their periods.
How early should I talk to my kids about periods?
The right age to talk to your children about periods will vary depending on their maturity level, exposure to information, and personal development.
Follow their lead, as some children will ask questions at an early age. If your child is curious about bodily functions, reproduction, or menstruation, it can be a natural opportunity to discuss why girls have periods.
Many girls will get their period from the age of nine to fifteen, although some may begin earlier or later. Considering the wide age range, it may be a good idea to introduce the concept of periods around age eight to nine years old, or even earlier if you feel they’re ready.
Keep the conversation simple. You don’t need to delve into the scientific intricacies of the menstrual cycle. A simple explanation could be:
“As girls grow into women, their bodies change and they get a period every month, which is a sign they can have babies when they grow up. We wear period products, a bit like nappies, to mop up the bit of red blood that comes out every five days a month.”
Normalise the topic because periods are a natural and very normal part of life. Girls shouldn’t feel ashamed or frightened when they experience their period for the first time and boys should be taught to feel empathetic and understand that for girls, periods can be a difficult time of the month too.
So, what is a period?
A period starts when there are hormonal changes in the body. The ovaries release oestrogen and progesterone and then these same hormones cause the lining of the uterus to build up, to prepare for an egg to fertilise with sperm and start developing into a baby.
However, if there is no fertilised egg, the lining is not needed so it breaks down and bleeds out. The same process happens every month, hence why most girls and women get their period around once a month. Note, however, that for the first few years, a girl’s period may not come regularly, which is normal. Her periods will become regular two to three years after her first period.
When do girls get their period?
Most girls will get their first period around the age of 11 – 15 years. But, every girl has their own body clock and they will start when their body is naturally ready. There will be some clues when your daughter is ready to start her period, which is typically around two years after her breasts develop and she experiences vaginal discharge fluid, which she may see or feel on her underwear. Make sure you discuss vaginal discharge with your daughter as well, so she doesn’t feel that something is wrong with her.
How often do periods happen?
When girls first begin menstruating, their cycles can be irregular. While the average menstrual cycle is 28 days, it can range anywhere from 21 to 45 days in young teens. Over time, periods tend to settle into a more regular cycle.
It’s common for girls in their first few years of menstruating to experience irregular periods. They might skip months or even go several months without a period. This irregularity is primarily due to the body’s adjustment phase as it gets used to the new hormonal rhythms.
How long do periods last?
The length of a period can also vary. Typically, menstrual flow lasts about three to seven days, but it can be shorter or longer, especially in the beginning.
Can your child get pregnant once her period starts?
Yes, and she can even get pregnant right before her first period. A girl’s hormones may already be active, and these hormones may cause an egg to be released from the ovary (ovulation). So, if she has sex, she can get pregnant.
How to talk to your daughter about her period
It may seem like only yesterday when you were holding your baby in your arms and now you are helping your child deal with puberty and periods. But, it’s important to learn how to talk to your daughter about puberty and menstruation so you can help make the situation less awkward for her too. Here are some tips on how to start the period talk:
Remind your child that other people have periods too
For her, it may feel like she’s the only one in the world getting her period, so it’s important to remind her that every woman gets their period and it should be treated like a rite of passage. She is transitioning from a girl to a woman and that is a very normal part of her life.
Prepare her for what’s to come
Try to prepare your daughter for what’s to come with her period as early as you can in advance. This includes period products, physical signs and emotional signs. Here are some tips on how to prepare your daughter for her period.
Talk about possible period signs
Look out for signs your daughter is about to start her period and explain to her that these are normal. Some girls experience cramps, headaches, or other symptoms even before their period starts (premenstrual syndrome). Offer remedies like heating pads, pain relievers (always according to age-appropriate dosages), and techniques for relaxation.
What is Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)?
PMS is when a girl exhibits emotional and physical mood swings before or during her period. These symptoms can include bloating, acne, moodiness and anxiety. They diminish after the first few days of a period.
Hormonal shifts can lead to mood swings. Reassure her that it’s okay to have fluctuating emotions, and encourage open communication about how she feels.
Consider CBD for cramps
Daye, a gynaecological health startup that aims to raise the standards in vaginal and reproductive healthcare, stocks a rich CBD balm* which provides restorative cooling to cramping bellies. You can also use it on sore muscles.
What’s more, you can invite your daughter’s friends and get free tampons and other goodies with every referral. Anyone who gets a tampon subscription at Daye can use their specific referral code to get £5 off their next order.
Save money on your first purchase at Daye with 15% off! Click here and use NEWBIE15* at checkout
When should I call the doctor about my child’s period?
If your daughter hasn’t started her period by 15, then it’s usually a good idea to consult a doctor. Similarly, if she hasn’t established a cycle regularity after two to three years, or if her period stops for more than 90 days, then a doctor’s guidance can be beneficial.
Irregularity is normal at first, but other symptoms like very painful periods, extremely heavy bleeding or other concerns related to periods should be discussed with your daughter’s doctor to rule out any underlying health concerns.
How Daye’s Period Pain Clinic can help your daughter
Daye wants to change that with their virtual Period Pain Clinic* (PPC), which aims to help young women and those assigned female at birth (AFAB) live less of their lives in pain.
55% of people find painkillers ineffective when treating period pain. So with personalised, doctor-approved plans that maximise pain relief and minimise side effects, you can learn more about what’s causing your child’s pain, and fast-track their way to diagnosis with the PPC.
9 in 10 women and those assigned as females at birth experience period pain every month
Daye
How does the Period Pain Clinic work?
Given that nine out of ten women experience period pain and that its severity can rival a heart attack, there’s a clear need for such a service. Yet, a majority of women don’t voice their discomfort, with over half noting that period pain has affected their work and study capacity. And for far too long, women’s health mysteries like endometriosis went unsolved, causing lifetime suffering. If you want the scoop on the gender pain gap, you can check the link here.*
The PPC is here to change the game, guiding women and AFAB on period health and paving the way to specialist referrals. Daye’s innovative service collaborates with NHS GPs, gynaecologists, and other specialists to facilitate an in-depth assessment of an individual’s symptoms. This ensures a rapid diagnosis of conditions like endometriosis, PCOS, adenomyosis, and fibroids, which are typically associated with chronic pelvic pain. Additionally, the clinic addresses symptoms like infertility, obesity, hair loss, and severe acne, which are often overlooked.
Patients are given a tailored pain management plan, merging both holistic and pharmaceutical approaches. The clinic also suggests scientifically-backed symptom management tools, including CBD tampons, TENS machines, and hormonal contraception. Daye even partners with businesses, such as Myoovi, to offer discounts on the suggested products.
Daye’s PPC has three service tiers ranging from £24.99 to £199.99, offering varying degrees of insights and consultations.
Founder Valentina Milanova emphasised the clinic’s commitment to ensuring no one silently bears the pain or remains unaware of their period pain’s cause or management. The clinic seeks to foster an environment where everyone feels valued, heard, and empowered, leading to enhanced diagnosis accuracy, individualised treatment strategies, and improved overall health outcomes.
Here is a rundown list of how to access the Period Pain Clinic to assess your daughter’s own period pain:
- Sign up on Daye’s website here*
- Take the online clinical assessment
- Get a free preview of your daughter’s personalised period pain report and a personalised pain relief routine
- Fast-track your daughter’s journey towards diagnosis and learn about the six gynae health conditions that could be affecting their period
- Connect with vetted world-class health specialists and discover alternative methods approved by experts
- Receive clinically proven lifestyle recommendations and find relief that works for your daughter
- Learn how to take painkillers safely and reduce long-term health effects
- Have access to innovative treatments
- Get prescribed tampons and hormonal contraception
- Receive deals and resources worth up to £300 in savings
Your daughter’s personalised report via the Period Pain Clinic* will help her work out if her symptoms match the above conditions quickly. Then you can download her report and discuss the results with her doctor or connect with one of the vetted physicians through Daye’s platform. The Period Pain Clinic gives you the breathing space to share all your daughter’s health concerns, and get the most out of your consultation without being rushed out of the GP room!
If your daughter is suffering from chronic period pain, she may have an underlying condition. Click here to get started on your daughter’s personalised period pain care now*
What do you get your daughter when she gets her period?
Before your daughter starts her period, it’s helpful for her to know what products are available, where they are in the house, and how to use them. Consider creating a small “period kit” she can carry in her school bag, which can include a selection of tampons, pads, menstrual cups, and/or period pants, as well as a fresh pair of underwear, and some pain relief medicine if you feel it’s appropriate and she knows how to use it.
For the first period, many girls prefer starting with pads* as they can be less intimidating.
Try 100% organic, sustainable tampons
When your daughter is ready to start using tampons, she can try Daye’s 100% organic tampons for free by ordering a Sample Box* to test drive before committing to a subscription. And if she likes the tampons after trialling them, you can create a subscription box for her, which is really easy to do.
Simply match the subscription box to her flow by choosing the tampons here* and then leave the rest to Daye. Daye syncs her box with every cycle length and you can modify, skip or cancel anytime.
Discuss hygiene
Talk to your daughter about the importance of changing menstrual products regularly, washing her hands before and after, and maintaining personal hygiene during her period.
Empower her
Some girls might feel embarrassed about getting their period. Let your daughter know it’s a natural and powerful part of being a woman, and not something to be ashamed of. Some families choose to celebrate a girl’s first period as a rite of passage, with small gifts, a special meal, or another form of acknowledgement. However, gauge her comfort level before doing this. Some girls might love it, while others might prefer to keep things low-key.
Ensure privacy
Respect your daughter’s need for privacy and provide a comfortable environment for her to manage her period in peace.
Stay available
Let her know she can come to you with any questions or concerns. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, that’s okay too. The key is she knows she’s not alone.
Offer resources all about periods
Offer resources so as your child grows and they become more curious, you can offer them age-appropriate books or websites where they can learn more about their period. Let them know they can always come to you if they have questions.
Some children might be curious, while others might be embarrassed or uninterested. Respect their feelings, answer questions as they come up, and ensure they know you’re available for future conversations.
It’s always beneficial to approach these discussions in a positive, open, and non-judgmental manner. Being proactive ensures your child will have accurate information and feel supported when they encounter these natural changes.
Encourage your daughter to track her period
It can be helpful for young girls to keep a menstrual calendar or use an app to track their periods. This can aid them in identifying patterns over time and help them anticipate when their next period might be.
Supporting your daughter when her period arrives is crucial for her to feel as comfortable as possible with the new changes in her body. It’s a tough time for your daughter and her first period is the most monumental event in her life. Help her be prepared by talking to your daughter about periods as if they are a very normal part of her life – because they are.
FAQ – Your teens’ or preteens’ common period questions answered
Is it normal to get your period at age 11?
Other questions asked were:
- When do most kids get their first period?
Yes, it is normal for some girls to start their period at age 11. The average age at which girls start menstruating, known as menarche, is around 9 to 15 years. However, some can start a bit earlier or later.
The onset of menstruation is influenced by several factors, for example, genetics, BMI, health and nutrition and environmental factors, as well as other health conditions.
While starting at age 11 is within the typical range, it’s always a good idea for you to have open communication with your daughter about the changes they’re experiencing. If there are any concerns about early or late menstruation, a consultation with a paediatrician or a gynaecologist can provide clarity.
My daughter got her period at 10. Will she still grow?
Yes, many girls who start their period at age 10 or even earlier can still continue to grow. The onset of menstruation is one event in the continuum of puberty and is not an immediate signal that growth has stopped.
What is a period for boys?
Boys do not have a menstrual cycle or a period in the same way that girls do, as they don’t have ovaries or a uterus, and therefore don’t menstruate. However, the phrase “period for boys” might be used colloquially to refer to the physical and emotional changes boys go through during puberty.
Can a woman whose hymen is intact use a tampon?
Yes, a woman whose hymen is intact can use a tampon. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening. It has one or more openings to allow menstrual blood to flow out. The size, shape, and elasticity of the hymen vary from person to person.
When inserting a tampon, it can pass through the natural openings in the hymen without causing any harm. Some girls might feel slight resistance or discomfort the first time they try to insert a tampon, especially if they’re not fully relaxed or if they’re not inserting it at the right angle.
While the hymen is somewhat elastic, using a tampon can stretch it. However, this doesn’t mean the hymen will be “broken” or completely torn. Many activities, not just tampon use, can stretch the hymen, including sports or other physical activities.
In many cultures, an intact hymen has been historically associated with virginity. However, it’s essential to understand that the state of one’s hymen is not an accurate or reliable indicator of virginity or sexual activity. The hymen can stretch or tear due to various reasons unrelated to sexual activity.
At what age should you talk to your daughter about periods?
Other questions asked were:
- What do I say to my daughter about her period? What should I talk about?
- How do you tell your daughter is about to start her period?
- How to talk to your daughter about getting her period?
- How to talk to your daughter about starting her period?
- How to talk to your 10 year old daughter about her period?
- When should I talk to my daughter about periods?
- How to talk to your daughter about first period?
- When to talk to your daughter about her period?
- How to talk to your daughter about her first period?
- What to say to your daughter when she gets her period?
- What to say to your daughter on her first period?
- Are there any expert tips for parents on talking about periods?
- How to explain menstruation to a 9 year old?
- how to talk to your 9 year old daughter about her period
- How to talk to your daughter about menstruation?
- How to talk to your daughter about periods?
- When should I talk to my kids about periods?
- How can you talk about puberty and menstruation
- my daughter started her period – how do I broach the subject with her?
The age at which you can start explaining periods to your daughter can vary depending on individual circumstances, cultural contexts, and her developmental stage. However, a general guideline is to start introducing the topic before she begins puberty, so she’s informed and prepared. Considering that some girls can start their period as early as age 9 or 10 (or even earlier in rare cases), it’s a good idea to start the conversation around the ages of 7 to 9.
How does a dad talk to his daughter about her period?
For many dads, the idea of discussing menstruation with their daughter might seem daunting. However, with the right approach, it can be a supportive and bonding experience.
Educate yourself first before you speak to your daughter so you understand the menstrual cycle and what it involves, as well as the common experiences she may face. There are many resources online, including books, articles, and videos, that can provide you with accurate information.
Find a quiet moment when you both can sit down without distractions. This will make the conversation feel more private and focused and start the conversation by letting your daughter know you’re there for her and that she can ask any questions or express any concerns. Your role is primarily to listen, support, and provide information.
Use the tips above to help you talk to your daughter about her periods and acknowledge that menstruating can sometimes be uncomfortable or even painful. Let her know that it’s okay to talk about her feelings or any physical discomfort she might experience.
Encourage questions and seek female support, like a mother, aunt, sister, or family friend as they may be able to provide additional support or information.
This shouldn’t be a one-time conversation. As she grows older, her needs and concerns related to menstruation might change. Regularly check in with her, ensuring she has the supplies she needs and addressing any new questions or concerns.
Remember, the primary goal is to create a supportive environment where your daughter feels comfortable and empowered. Demonstrating understanding and a willingness to engage in the conversation, even if it’s outside of your personal experience, can mean a lot to her.
When the doctor asks when was your last period do you say the day the bleeding started or do you say the day it ended?
When a doctor asks about your last period, they typically want to know the first day of your most recent menstrual cycle. So, you should provide the date when the bleeding started, not when it ended. This date is a standard reference point in medical practice to determine various aspects related to reproductive health, including calculating the possible date of ovulation, estimating gestational age in pregnancy, and assessing menstrual cycle regularity.
Will I get my period during my whole life?
No, you will not have your period your entire life. Menstruation usually starts during puberty, with the onset of the first period called menarche, and it continues regularly until menopause, which is around ages 45 to 55 years old.
*This post is sponsored by Daye but all thoughts and opt are 100% my own. Links marked with a ‘*’ are affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you click through to buy. Thanks as always for your support!
