Recognising The Problems – Sensitivity in your newborn

I recognized almost from the start that Kameron was different. As a baby he appeared to fuss over every little thing. I was hopeful that this was a phase.

It was 2003. I had given birth to my first child, lying in a hospital bed, and my midwife beside me, had just told me how to feed him. I was bottle feeding. However, after taking his first couple of ounces he refused subsequent bottles. I was sure I’d read all the right parenting magazines and was doing it right. There was no other ways I could try to get him to take his feed. He just didn’t want it!

I was distraught as he was not allowed home until they were sure he was feeding. The midwife’s were dumbfounded. This was not a traumatic birth and Kameron was healthy. In the attempt to relax him enough to soothe him with a bottle a midwife bathed him. But, despite her best effort, he wasn’t interested. As time passed, it became more of an issue and I was desperate to take him home – to get back to normal and establish a routine. Perhaps he sensed my anxiety. I will never know for sure. After returning, from the bathroom, my husband proclaimed that he had taken his feed from him, and we could go home. The relief was huge.

At this point I didn’t realize that his faddish nature could be an indication of being gifted. Here, I can only recall how difficult I found parenting to be. I was unprepared for the reality.

The first thing I did when I got to the house was to make feeds for the night. I was glad to be in my own environment, and my mother was enjoying the cuddle time. Kameron took his first feed at home well. In a parental role, I was confident of looking after my baby without too much guidance. I am the eldest of five. I’d supported my mother when she was raising my brothers and sister. But this was different. This was my own child. I realized what a great responsibility it was. He cried a lot and, I had little sleep that first night.

Baby days pass quickly. Yet my concerns grew. Kameron’s behaviour was still present and I was experiencing more difficulties. As he reached his development milestones I sensed his constant need for stimulation. If he wasn’t occupied he would become agitated. Whilst other parents were boasting how easy the first stages of being a parent was, I found it incresingly hard. He would complain over every little thing. Whenever I tried to get on with something that didn’t involve engaging Kameron, he would quickly show his dissatisfaction. And even to this day, he can come back from a jam packed, fun filled day and say, “I’m bored, what can I do?”

Of course, I had read up on tips to eliminate this behaviour but none of it worked for me. I didn’t know then that everyday methods wouldn’t work for him as I hadn’t recognised his extreme sensitivities as a special need – I just thought he was sent to try me.

The hardest thing for me was being subjected to his reactions to stimuli. When something wasn’t as Kameron liked, he would react – loudly. He was deeply affected by imperfections and his outbursts were intense. When I look back I still cringe at the thought – back then I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. The pitch of his scream could cut ice. It was enough for bystanders to turn and comment, “What’s wrong with him?” They would either look at him in disbelief or disgust. I remember wanting to prove to them that he wasn’t ill or playing up. I am deeply aware of his sensitivities. I had begun to expect this behavior from him, but others continue to perceive it negatively. It is hard to educate those which don’t appreciate the tendencies of someone who thinks differently. And it is their ignorance that influences me to take action.

It is exactly in those moments when you feel out of your depth. I recall dreading having to take my son, anywhere! It will probably occur to you, too, how socially disabling this is. But, it is not healthy to hide away and, you couldn’t do this forever. For me this was the time I started to look for answers. Although, I never felt that I couldn’t cope, I knew that eventually my son’s behaviour would attract professional attention – it would come to the point for intervention.

For me, acknowledging that this difficulty will not pass was my giant step forward. This will help you to stop feeling ashamed and to ask for support. It is the advice that better leads you to understanding why your baby acts this way. When you accept them for who they are, you learn how to work with their nature, rather than against it.

So, voicing your concerns and working with professionals shouldn’t worry you. By wanting to take steps to establish the problems, focus is on the well-being and, intervention offers, suitable solutions.

It was through Kameron’s emotional issues that his intellect was hidden. Luckily, other distinctive characteristics had presented themselves.

As Kameron develops so, do his behaviors. Techniques derive from his characteristics and carefully designed methods have taught him how to act accordingly. This is what makes intervention so important. Special needs cannot be met by me alone. Kameron’s care was inevitably shared with others – usually educators. These people are also concerned with the ways he develops and performs. Having detected what he requires obviously makes his transitions easier.