Taking charge of your fertility with a helping hand from Apricity
What is fertility?
More specifically, what is infertility, and how do you know whether you are experiencing fertility issues?
Fertility is:
“The quality of being fertile; productiveness.”
“The ability to conceive children or young.”
You may be surprised to learn that fertility issues effect 3.5 million people in the UK – that’s 1 in 6! It seems like a high statistic, doesn’t it, especially when you peg that ratio against the number of people who suffer from diabetes (1 in 17) and asthma (1 in 12). Many of the population go through fertility struggles, and 67% of those find infertility to be more or as stressful as getting divorced. So, taking charge of your fertility can be difficult.
But why?
Well, to understand why fertility causes huge stress on many couples, we must understand where this stress is likely to come from.
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Societal rules call for couples to have babies
In school, you are taught about contraception to stop you from getting pregnant, and that one day, you will grow up to have children like your mum and dad. You then spend half your life making sure you have safe sex, and then when you are ready to have a child, it is a matter of finding the right person and then trying for a baby.
Easy, right?
Not quite.
Unfortunately, life isn’t as black and white as that. We are not taught in school about what happens after contraception, more specifically about how small the window of opportunity actually is to conceive a child. In fact, most couples have a 15% to 25% chance of getting pregnant in a particular month, and the small window lasts about six days! That percentage doesn’t even take into consideration factors that may affect fertility, so most women who grow up thinking they will become a mum feel a massive blow if they are then deprived of that opportunity.
And, we don’t talk about the cultural pressures that some couples experience too. In African, Chinese or Asian families, there is a huge expectation to become pregnant. And, because fertility is rarely discussed, men and women often suffer in silence, which then sparks a lengthy and isolated struggle about figuring out what to do next and how to get pregnant fast.
In this situation, do you go to a fertility specialist or continue to try conceiving yourself at home? And when you speak to a GP who then refers you to a hospital for further treatment, what next? The dream of being able to have a child drifts away from you, bringing about a sense of failure, shame, and despair. And it’s those sorts of emotions that couples feel when they enter the world of fertility.
My husband and I have struggled with fertility issues too
I paid little attention to my fertility when I was in my twenties, as we seemed to conceive our two boys at the drop of a hat. In fact, I was convinced that my second one was a miracle birth! But, when we tried for our third in our thirties, things massively changed for us. We thought it would be so simple to do the deed and get pregnant soon after – job done!
But, in reality, it took us around three years to get pregnant (we actively tried in the last year, by planning the best time to get pregnant with minute intricacy and using an elaborate fertility calendar) and we finally got pregnant with our little girl, Poppy. She sadly died at 16 weeks due to a PPROM (Premature Prenatal Rupture of Membranes), and it took us a further 14 months to get pregnant with our fourth.
During that time, we had suffered a whole host of emotions because we didn’t factor changes to our fertility after miscarriage. We felt regret at leaving it so late to try for our third and fourth, frustration that I would see my period every month, stress because we had to plan our nights in together around the kids, anger because hubby and I had turned on each other, and pain because we desperately tried to fill the void of our beloved Poppy.
Finally, we experienced relief and received a positive pregnancy result, but it was not a smooth ride to get there. The amount of research I had crammed into those four years were enough to fill a book (watch this space!), and, without receiving medical help to conceive, we got pregnant when I was 37 years old.
We realise now that we suffered from secondary infertility, which means that we were unable to get pregnant or carry a baby to term after having a baby (or two in our case). We had told ourselves that if we didn’t get pregnant in the 15th month of trying after the loss of our baby girl, then we would seek fertility counselling, but we succeeded, and now we are currently awaiting our rainbow baby in a few short months.
We’re not alone
The problem is that infertility is a lot more common than you realise, and these problems create immense pressure emotionally on couples in their personal and work life. Fertility isn’t really understood because it is generally not talked about, which then creates further stress. Women often feel confused, alone and unsure of what is going on or what probable cause of action to take next.
So, why is it so hard to get pregnant?
It may be interesting to note that a significant factor of fertility issues is male factor infertility, which makes up for 37% of reasons couples turn to fertility treatment like IVF, followed by 32% of unexplained fertility cases and 31% of fertility issues coming from female infertility. This actually shows how significant the male’s role is in this whole process, which is probably hugely underestimated because it isn’t spoken about.
And studies show that there is an increasing trend in the prevalence of sperm abnormalities, confirming a link between the male’s age and deterioration of sperm. So age is another factor to watch out for, for both males and females. And it’s interesting that just because the woman carries the baby, in most cases, she may not be the reason for the fertility issue in the first place.
But, I feel for men here. They feel like the one thing they should be able to do is to provide the sperm to make the baby, and when they can’t, they feel shameful. They then retreat into their world of work, and it really becomes a stressful situation for both the woman and the man. And when trying for a baby, they often have the added pressure of having to perform on the clock, which can’t be easy for them either!
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Couples often then turn to fertility treatment, but this can be a struggle upon itself
You can try to get pregnant for months, if not years, before you finally turn to medical intervention (like TrioFertility) to help. You try to fix the problem by searching for the best fertility treatments and the best clinics using research that you have conducted yourself, but it often becomes a sense of running around like a headless chicken, trying to find a way out of the predicament you are in.
And, the problem is you can’t control this feeling. There isn’t necessarily a fix that will tie up all the loose ends, and this is probably one reason fertility issues can become more stressful than divorce. At least with a divorce, you can chat about it with your friends and family who will understand. But how many times have you spoken to your friends and family about your struggles to have a baby?
Therefore, women and men become very introverted, frightened that you won’t get pregnant, hopeful that you may get pregnant the next month and despair when it doesn’t happen again. And this vicious cycle of emotions feeds the stress and depression that comes along with the need to find fertility treatments because you are trying to put something right, which feels inherently wrong.
Fertility treatments can increase anxiety and stress in a relationship
It is not surprising, then, that 69% of people find pursuing fertility treatments stressful. Fertility treatments can become emotionally, physically, practically and financially draining, especially when you aren’t sure of what to do and where to go to fix this problem of not being able to get pregnant.
Appointments can become expensive and time-consuming, and you can start to feel very distressed and wound up if treatment isn’t working. These knockbacks can place further stress on the relationship, with men often detaching themselves from the situation because they are natural fixers, and they can’t fix this situation. Women like to talk about it but often can’t because it’s hidden grief and they fear what will be said to them if they do speak up. And, if they do, they will likely hear the same words:
“It’s ok, you’ll be fine. You’ll get there.”
But it isn’t fine, and it isn’t ok. Is it?
Which is why some couples stop treatment eventually
Ongoing fertility issues can damage a relationship. Life is held in limbo while you put your all into the treatment cycle, your lives dominated by juggling appointments around personal and work life. And you are often unsure of what will happen next. Sometimes medical staff don’t get back to you, and this whole uncertainty goes back to friends and family potentially not understanding what you are going through and the massive impact this process has on both of your lives.
And, if a particular treatment isn’t working then all that money, hard work and juggling were for nothing. There is this huge lack of control over the whole fertility treatment system, which is why 65% of people often decide to stop treatment. Not because they want to, but because they have exhausted every avenue they knew possible to achieve a pregnancy, and they had no will or money left to carry on.
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So, what is the solution?
Even though IVF makes up 93% of fertility treatment in the UK, it is clear that the way it is being offered to couples is not practical or digestible. There needs to be a hand-holding process that enables you to understand where you stand, what treatments are available, and how you can access the best help along your journey to fertility.
Apricity understands that fertility is not a destination but a journey
Apricity is a virtual fertility clinic that has developed a new way of experiencing fertility while improving your chances to conceive via Artificial Intelligence. Apricity wants to tackle the murky journey through fertility with fresh eyes, starting fertility treatment with the knowledge they now have on the medical side, but with new technology that will empower a new service.
This new approach will allow you to visualise your journey and understand the options you have available through access to educational materials, so you are never kept in the dark again. Apricity offers the following:
Excellence
Apricity wants to deliver first-class treatment to optimise your chances of success. Apricity only hires the best fertility specialists in the field, as they are not a physical clinic themselves or a team of doctors, but they partner with existing fertility clinics whom they select using a meticulous vetting process.
Apricity implements several factors to ensure these fertility clinics have an excellent patient experience rating on the HEFA website of 4.5 stars or more out of 5. They also look at live birth rates, which have to be consistent with the national average as well. Apricity’s partner clinics perform 4,600 embryo transfers in a year, and partners include the Harley Street Fertility Clinic, King’s Fertility, Cheshire Reproductive Medicine, The Doctor’s Laboratory and The Poundbury Clinic.
Apricity has also created a partner network of embryologists, nurses, holistic therapists, counsellors and patient representatives from Fertility Network, which is the leading patient support charity for fertility. All research created is evidence-based (based on the largest fertility database in the world), so you are provided with the best knowledge possible when learning about your personal fertility journey.
Care
Apricity uses the best care possible and will evaluate your chances of success before going through treatment. Apricity work to understand what is the best approach and how to better that treatment throughout your journey.
Empowerment
You often feel like you are drowning in differing advice and what you really need is for someone to say, “Look let’s just talk through where you are at and where you need to go now,” which is what is missing in this fertility world. You are often left on your own to come up with your own solutions, but where do those solutions come from?
They’re not scientifically based, but at the time you think that it’s the best cause of action. Apricity enables you to feel empowered through the whole fertility treatment process. There will always be a doctor in the driving seat, but at least you will feel like you can co-pilot the journey as well, understanding the options available and having clear cut knowledge on each path.
“Sharing your values for support and transparency, Apricity is changing the way fertility is accessed…” Blair McPhee, CEO Fertility Network
Apricity’s app
Apricity has brought out an app which provides you with an all-around experience of your fertility journey. The app offers reminders of what you have to do, notifications and useful documents related to your unique fertility journey. For example, if you require injections at a particular time, the app will remind you.
You will also receive assistance and guidance, as well as notification of appointment reminders, which will help to reduce stress. You will be provided with an overview of your fertility journey, i.e. different phases, a calendar view, day by day reminders, medication and appointment details. There is a vast content database for support and guidance sent at the right time so you won’t feel overwhelmed with too much information and you will know what is going on ahead of the journey.
Fertility advisors are available seven days a week, which means that rather than having to coordinate your own appointments, answer your own questions and liaise with clinics yourself, the advisors are there to hold your hand. They will make sure you receive results and reminders when you should have them and arrange everything with you via the app. A dedicated advisor will be appointed to you, and you can message them with questions or queries you have.
All advisors have received fertility training and are qualified to a nurse healthcare assistant level. They may not answer all your clinical questions (as the actual clinics do this), but they offer that extra support layer the fertility journey is so lacking in the UK.
And the app is continuously developing, using an algorithm which learns from anonymised patient data every time information is added. So, Apricity’s app will become more on point with their support and guidance to you when you need it.
But why Apricity?
“The support and care you receive is priceless, such a good and caring team that goes above and beyond.”
With Apricity you’ll receive all-inclusive packages, which includes bundled together treatment cycles, scans which are arranged locally, and home blood testing kits which means you’ll reduce the number of times you’ll have to attend a clinic. Apricity even offers a scheme with AXA PPP healthcare, which provides a chance for your employer to pay for everything up to a certain amount. You’ll receive a fast-tracked service to treatment so there will be no waiting times and lists.
“I could have not gone through this process without the App.”
So, how do I get started?
Head over to Apricity’s website now and set up your free one-hour consultation, which is part of all the packages Apricity provides. During that call, Apricity will gauge where you are at during your journey and offer a personalised package suitable to your situation. Some factors may affect your chances of fertility treatment, but this will be stipulated by Apricity, who will then refer you to the necessary pre-treatment phase. For example, if your BMI is too high, then you may be referred to a nutritionist to look at your health and set up a plan, which will help you to maximise your chances of a positive result following fertility treatment.
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What happens if treatment fails?
Two women I spoke to at length at Apricity’s launch event mentioned how they had given up trying to get pregnant, and I learned a whole different side of fertility – the part where you don’t get the baby in the end. It was sad to hear, but these women finally felt relief letting go of their struggles to conceive. In one woman’s case, she wasn’t able to get an embryo transfer as the lining in her uterus wouldn’t cooperate.
The couple were told that they would never carry a child because her womb was too damaged to sustain a pregnancy. She is writing a book about it and all power to her because there aren’t enough books out there that offer support for couples when the fertility journey doesn’t work. Apricity’s app is there for women when treatments don’t work, by providing support before, during and after treatment. Apricity will provide counselling support whenever needed.
If you are struggling with fertility issues, then please don’t hesitate to contact Apricity to get your free consultation phone call or call +44 (0) 115 824 3928 now.
*I attended a launch event by Apricity, but all thoughts and opinions are 100% my own
*Links marked with a ‘*’ are affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases
