Part 4 – Finally pregnant with a girl!
It has taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to write this post about being pregnant with a girl. I don’t know why; the outcome has been successful, but it hasn’t been so clear cut.
In my previous posts in the ‘Journey to getting my girl‘ series, I had been clear that I wouldn’t mind having a third boy, if that’s what it came to. I just wanted another baby, but losing my girl hit me very hard and left me aching for my princess.
It took us fourteen months to get pregnant after my miscarriage, and to say it has been a tough slog has been an understatement.
In the first two articles, I talked about working with a company called Urobiologics who have been the first of their kind to claim women can select the gender of the baby by the hormonal environment present in their womb, i.e. women have alternating boy and girl cycles. You can read more about this process in Part 1 and Part 2 of the series and my article on women and gender selection.
In this article, I want to talk about what happened after the first successful attempt at getting my girl but losing her to PPROM and then what happened after we tried again. So bear with me, as this post is raw. It brings up a lot of bad memories, but it’s only right to conclude this series with how it all truthfully came about in case you are interested in trying for your girl or boy too.
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We started the conception plan again
After losing our girl, we started the conception plan again with Urobiologics. It took us about three months after the miscarriage to even consider trying, but I knew the longer I left it, the harder it would be. I was in my late thirties, my husband had enough of trying and we were suffering as a couple. But I needed to give it a shot because I needed a baby in my arms. However, this time, I actually didn’t care if the baby ended up being a girl, but we thought we’d give it a shot as we had another chance to try.
We named our girl ‘Ayla’ and we followed all the rules and plans we needed to follow, like last time. You can read the conception plan process here.
We couldn’t get pregnant
Despite trying everything to get pregnant, we just couldn’t get pregnant and it drove a wedge between my husband and me because we had to stick so rigidly to the conception plan, which was really taxing. So, after about eight months, we made a tough decision.
We abandoned the conception plan
I took up exercising. I stopped drinking alcohol and I ditched my poor diet. I got serious and every month, if we wanted to, we’d try for a baby, but we took all the stress out of trying for a baby and that included waiting for a girl cycle. We no longer cared about whether we were going for a boy or a girl. We just wanted a baby and our marriage had taken a real hit from all the stress I was putting on my husband.
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We still couldn’t get pregnant
Despite abandoning the conception plan, we were still experiencing stress at home. My husband worked long hours, so he would often be too tired to talk about baby planning and when we tried, I kept getting a negative pregnancy result. It was all so frustrating.
On the 14th month, in December 2018, I had another negative pregnancy test, and it was at that point I had decided enough was enough. Maybe we had experienced secondary infertility. Maybe the D&E after the late miscarriage had rendered my womb useless, but I gave up the fight and decided we would live as just four and Poppy up in the sky.
As Christmas was coming up and hubby’s mum was due to come over, my friend bought me a gin advent calendar and I enjoyed myself for the first time at Christmas without so much as thinking of another baby. We’d leave the stress to the new year and we’d try again in January if we still wanted to. Christmas and the end of 2018 were about living in the moment and reconnecting with my husband.
Then something magical happened
I went on BBC to talk about children and screen time in January and I felt funny, like something was off. I couldn’t figure out what it was; I didn’t feel sick or tired, I just felt off.
When my period didn’t arrive, I didn’t think for a second I was pregnant. No, I couldn’t get pregnant. I was too old, too fat, too unhealthy, too something, and a baby wasn’t happening for me.
But when I didn’t get my period a week later, my husband urged me to take a pregnancy test, which I reluctantly agreed to. I knew it would be negative anyway, so what did it matter?
It was positive!
We were pregnant!
What? We were pregnant? Impossible! I thought we couldn’t get pregnant. We abandoned the conception plan, or maybe I couldn’t get pregnant with girls, and this one was a boy.
When we had our 20 week scan, lo-and-behold, we found out it was a girl.
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I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was it the sudden removal of stress, the six months of healthy eating, exercising, meditating, and yoga that contributed to getting pregnant? Or was it pot luck?
We had our beautiful baby girl, Ayla, in September 2019, and you can find my positive VBAC story here. I still can’t believe she’s here and mine.
But the question remains…
Did Urobiologics get me my girl?
The honest answer is, I don’t know, and I don’t think so.
We abandoned the conception plan a good six months before we got pregnant, so I believe getting our girl was down to pot luck. I didn’t try any fancy moves; I didn’t think about timing, I just genuinely believed my body was ready to get pregnant again.
Are you pregnant? Find out your due date with our due date calculator here!
And you want to hear something else that’s funny?
We had another baby girl on 30th June 2021! Her name is Amelia and you can read all about my amazing unassisted VBAC birth here.
You never know what’s around the corner.
My dad’s words always ring true
My advice to you
I do genuinely believe that Urobiologic’s conception plan worked the first time with Poppy and if we hadn’t lost her, we would be holding our little princess now. But, the second time we tried, I think it was down to luck. So my advice to you is, go for it if you want to have your baby boy or girl, but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Are you going to be ok if you don’t end up with the baby of your desired gender and are you prepared to abandon the conception plan if trying becomes harder than the process itself?
We couldn’t get pregnant because we experienced a disconnect, so we threw caution to the wind and funnily enough it worked.
Remember, this is all anecdotal. If you have health problems or are suffering from conditions that affect your fertility, then speak with your doctor first who can help you set up a fertility plan. But contact Urobiologics (you can find the link here) and speak to Dr Verma about your intentions too. He is very approachable and will help you along the way. Couple that with my tips on how to get pregnant naturally here and you should be well on your way to getting the baby you want – boy or girl.
Remember, other gender prediction tests and methods are not medically reviewed, so take them with a pinch of salt. Make sure you’re following a healthy plan when getting pregnant and pay less emphasis on the method to have the baby as it really ends up being a 50/50 chance in the end.
FAQ
Can you get pregnant with a girl on ovulation day?
Another question asked was, ‘When do you get pregnant with a girl?’
The Shettles Method states that male sperm are smaller so they can swim faster, but die quicker. Girl sperm is bigger and slower but last longer. So Shettles believed if you had sex around the time of ovulation, the male sperm would more likely reach the egg before the female sperm. This has not been scientifically proven and I’m pretty sure the method isn’t fail safe.
There are so many nuances to conception during ovulation day and in fact, one study found no difference between the X and Y sperm. Neither sperm mature in different ways or is faster so, again, pot luck!
What were your symptoms when pregnant with a girl?
Another question asked was, ‘what symptoms did you have with a girl?’ and ‘baby girl symptoms during pregnancy’.
The only telling symptoms I noticed were what I craved, i.e. sour with a girl and sweet with a boy. Otherwise I couldn’t really tell the difference between all five pregnancies.
With Ayla, during labour, her foetal heart rate stayed the same throughout (around 130 to 140 beats per minute). With my first boy, his heart rate dipped to around 54 which is why I had to have the emergency c section. I don’t think it’s a boy/girl thing; I think it’s a birth thing.
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What are the signs you’re having a girl?
Another similar question asked was, ‘I feel like I’m having a girl, how can I tell?’ and ‘What are boy or girl early signs in pregnancy?’
I don’t think there are many signs you’re having a girl. I would say the only sign that stuck out for me was craving sour foods and salt and lemon.
What are the signs you are pregnant with a boy?
Apart from craving sweets and carrying at the front, I didn’t see any other signs I was carrying a boy.
Are you more tired when pregnant with a girl?
I was exhausted in this pregnancy but I don’t remember ever being tired with the boys (maybe I blocked the trauma out) or with Ayla. I just slept very well. I don’t think you’re more tired with a girl. Pregnancy is tiring so I don’t think it matters whether you’re having a girl or a boy to feel tired.
Do you glow when pregnant with a girl?
They say girls take your beauty away and boys make you beautiful. I didn’t feel or look beautiful throughout any of my pregnancies! I developed a glow towards the end. But this was true of all pregnancies, not just having a girl. I think the glow comes after a turbulent first three months when the body is getting used to the pregnancy.
Do you get sicker when pregnant with a girl?
Apart from Ayla this time around, I suffered from morning sickness, which was constant throughout the first three months. However, with Ayla, I only had two weeks of morning sickness, then nothing. Hers was the easiest pregnancy by far! I had nausea with the boys, but I didn’t throw up. So I’m not sure there’s a difference, to be honest with any baby girl symptoms during early pregnancy.
Can you be pregnant with a girl and not be sick?
Yes! I wasn’t sick at all with Ayla. In fact, I had morning sickness for about two weeks where I could only eat bland oats and potato, then after that, the morning sickness magically vanished. I only felt sick around 9 pm so I’d just go to sleep and I’d wake up fine the next day. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for this pregnancy. However, I haven’t been sick in any of my pregnancies, just nauseous. My friend is having a boy, and she has been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum so I think being sick are not pregnancy signs of girl pregnancy.
Do you crave sweets when pregnant with a girl?
Quite the opposite! There are old wives’ tales about craving sweet with boys and sour with girls. Having had two boys and girls, I can safely say this was very true for me. I wanted to drink lemon and salt with all three girls and I stayed away from sweets (well, except for the last three months of this pregnancy…)
Do you crave fruit when pregnant with a girl?
I only craved citrus fruits, especially lemons because I needed something sour, and I also needed to combat the horrible metallic taste I had in my mouth throughout the first trimester. They do say sour foods are one of the most telling pregnancy symptoms of having a girl.
Do you cry more when pregnant with a girl?
I think I was emotional in all pregnancies. In fact, I was more emotional with my boys than with my girls, so, again I don’t think crying relates to girl pregnancy symptoms.
Do you get acne when pregnant with a girl?
Another question asked was, ‘Do you breakout when pregnant with a girl?’
Many people say (not scientifically reviewed) that because you carry the same hormones, you are less likely to have counteractive effects like acne when pregnant with a girl. I didn’t really suffer from acne with my two girls but I had quite oily skin with my boys, so maybe there is some truth to it? Purely anecdotal though!
Do you sleep more when pregnant with a girl?
I noticed one sign of having a girl was I slept like a log with Ayla and even worse with Amelia! I can’t remember what I was like with the boys but my eldest didn’t sleep through and my second one was born when my eldest was 15 months old. So I doubt I slept much.
Do you get headaches when pregnant with a girl?
I haven’t suffered from any headaches at all during any of my pregnancies so I doubt headaches are pregnancy symptoms for a girl. What I would say is if you are suffering from severe headaches, please check with your doctor to rule out pre-eclampsia as that is one sign, along with swollen hands and feet and vision changes. Better to be safe than sorry.
Do you feel worse when pregnant with a girl?
I suffered from mood swings more this pregnancy but with Ayla, I breezed through the pregnancy. My mum says it’s because we carry the same hormones, but I don’t think it’s that black and white. I don’t think there are many signs of having a little girl, apart from my anecdotal experience which is carrying the bump all around the body rather than out at the front and having an intense craving for lemon and salt. That’s it!
When pregnant with a girl where do you carry?
I seemed to carry all around my body rather than right out at the front. With my two boys, it looked like I was carrying a football around, but with a girl, I just looked and still look fat.
Best of luck and if you have questions please do share them below and I’d be happy to answer them honestly and accurately.
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