Help your child discover the recipe for success and reach their goals and ambitions – Mindscreen Review – Part 9

*This post and the proceeding/subsequent posts in the series are sponsored by Mindscreen – an online mental health and wellbeing tool which guides children towards higher self-esteem, at home or in the classroom.*

In Part 1 of our Mindscreen Self-Esteem Series, I talked about how to spot the signs of low self-esteem in your child by using an online tool called Mindscreen. If you haven’t done so already, please read the following articles in the series first:

• Part 1 – How to spot the signs of low self-esteem in your child
• Part 2 – Lesson 1 – Why self-awareness is important to build your child’s self-esteem
• Part 3 – Lesson 2 – How to encourage your child to build positive beliefs and build confidence
• Part 4 – Lesson 3 – How to build on your child’s strengths and increase their self-confidence
• Part 5 – Lesson 4 – Helping your child build a bank of personal unique skills
• Part 6 – Lesson 5 – Helping your child choose subjects that suit their skills, hobbies and interests
• Part 7 – Lesson 6 – Teaching your child how to choose a career they will enjoy
• Part 8 – Lesson 7 – Helping your child write their personal statement skills in their CV

In this article, we deep dive into Lesson 8, easyFuture and easyFeedback, the last lesson in the Mindscreen Experience series, which is about giving your child the opportunity to discover their unique “Success Recipe” and its “vital ingredients”. The boys were then invited to complete their Learning Improvement Measurement 3 online statements, which we then reviewed and discussed.

BEFORE YOU START

Please note – you need to purchase the Mindscreen Experience to access these lesson plans. Follow the link below to get 10% off your Mindscreen Package now.

Take the full Mindscreen experience now and get 10% off! CODE: save10%

In Part 2, I go through the general structure of the lessons, so please check out how it all works here.

What is easyFuture?

Lesson 8, easyFuture is about giving your child the opportunity to discover the recipe for success and the vital ingredients needed to create that success recipe. What this means is that success comes with a process where all key parts need to be completed before you achieve said success.

It’s important that your child must start with a destination in mind because having a goal keeps them on course, even during the tough times.

I asked the boys to get right into it and turn to their Learner Diaries. Aidan and I have been watching Masterchef, so when I talked about a recipe needing vital ingredients to come out correctly, Aidan called out some elaborate ingredients like spice, citrus and mint.

Aidan was already on the right track because a success recipe is a lot like baking a cake, but we will go into that in a lot more detail later on.

Goals, commitments and destinations

First, I asked the boys to use the back of their Learner Diaries, so they could write ‘success’ somewhere on the page and circle it.

I then asked the boys to find two different colour pens (as we couldn’t find a red pen as advised in the Parent Guide.) I asked the boys to write ‘commitment’ in the other pen colour somewhere on the page too.

I then asked the boys to grab another blank piece of paper. This time I asked them to draw a line down the middle of the page and write ‘Destination’ on the top left and ‘Get There’ on the right.

The boys wrote six to eight cities under destination and were told to leave the other side blank for now.

The boys picked some great cities like:

• Basel
• Brussels
• Paris
• Manchester City
• Dubai
• Cardiff

They were interested to know where this lesson was going because they couldn’t work out what destinations had to do with your success recipe!

The definition of a goal is:

“An object of a person’s ambition or effort or an aim or the desired results.”

Oxford Dicitionary definition of goals

Aidan – “Destination is a goal you want to achieve.”

“Exactly. Your goal is where you want to end up and what you are aiming for,” I added.

So we were going to learn about the success recipe by starting with a destination in mind because having a goal helps us stay on course to get to that destination, even when the going gets tough.

“You start at the beginning of your journey and your goal is your destination. You have to take that journey however hard it is to reach that destination. Your success recipe is the successful way of reaching your destination. You’re going to create your own goals, and find out which career and study options will help you get there. Do you understand how valuable it is to create a success recipe?”

The boys nodded their heads but I wasn’t convinced they fully understood what I meant.

Baking a cake

So we’re going to use an example of baking a cake to illustrate what we mean by your success recipe helping you get to your destination.

You have all the ingredients you need to create a really delicious 3-tiered fancy cake. The cake is your goal and the cake ingredients are those little steps you take to reach your goal. I asked the boys to list out some ingredients needed to make an awesome cake.

Aidan – “Flour, egg, lime.”

Aron – “Apple. You can use anything to make a cake right? You can even use spinach to make a cake!”

Aidan – “Butter, lemon, sugar, baking powder, cocoa powder.”

Aron – “You can even use broccoli to make a cake!”

Me – “So now tell me, do we need the right quantity of each ingredient to make the cake or can we just throw them all into the bowl? What happens if we have the wrong quantities?”

Aidan – “It will go soggy or hard or it will look horrible”

Me – “What happens if you forget to put one ingredient in the cake, like a pinch of salt. Will it affect the cake?”

Aidan – “No, the cake doesn’t need salt.”

Me – “What happens if you forget to put two or three of the ingredients in the cake?”

Aidan – “It will go soggy or weird.”

Me – “If you forget the basic ingredients like flour or egg, will it still become a cake?”

Aidan – “No, it won’t even be a cake. You need flour and eggs to make a cake. I don’t like chocolate cake so you could leave chocolate out.”

Me – “But what happens if you miss the main ingredient like flour?”

Aron – “You won’t even be able to make a cake. It’s the most important ingredient in the cake!”

Aidan – “It will be a flat weird thing.”

Me – “Now what happens if the cake needs to be baked for a certain period? Does it matter how long it needs to be baked for?”

Aidan – “Yes otherwise it may be undercooked or overcooked.”

Me – “So what happened if we had all the right ingredients and quantities but we only cooked it for half the time?”

Aidan – “It will be undercooked.”

Aron – “It will be flat, it will be dangerous to eat because the ingredients will be raw.”

Me – “What happens if you overcook it?”

Aidan – “It will burn.”

Aron – “You won’t be able to eat it, it will be charcoal.”

Me – “Right! And what about the right temperature? Does that matter?”

Aidan – “Not really.”

Me – “What if it’s on really high heat?”

Aidan – “It will be overcooked.”

Me – “What if it’s on really low?”

Aidan – “It will be undercooked, flat and soggy.”

Me – “So is it true that if you have the recipe, you use all the right ingredients, all the right quantities, you bake it for the right length and temperature, you will have a very successful 3-tier cake?”

Both boys shouted yes.

I told the boys that becoming successful is like baking a cake. You need the right ingredients, the right quantities and it needs to be cooked at the right temperature and length until you get a delicious cake.

How are your skills like the vital ingredients in a cake?

I told the boys we were now going to brainstorm what ingredients they needed to make up their own success recipe and the boys collectively put:

• Concentration
• Focus
• Carefulness
• Taking action
• Determination
• Growth mindset
• Perseverance
• Confidence
• A can-do attitude
• Motivation
• Being active
• Talent
• Smartness
• Not having ah-buts telling you you can’t do it!

I asked them to write these skills down on a piece of paper, but I was also going to list out the five vital ingredients that will make up a success recipe. If the ingredients they wrote wasn’t one of the five vital ingredients, they wrote it under ‘Commitment’. The vital ingredients went under ‘Goals’.

So what are the vital ingredients for success?

• Vision/dream
• Goal/plan/aim
• Desire
• Belief
• Action

These goals are key ingredients because if you leave out any one of these, you won’t have your success recipe and you won’t reach your goal.

• If you leave out vision/dream you can’t see yourself achieving your dream
• If you leave out the goal you won’t have a clear target to aim for
• If you leave out desire you will not be motivated
• If you leave out belief you will find reasons why you can’t do it
• If you leave out action nothing will happen

I then asked the boys to think about their chosen careers and how they could apply these vital ingredients to achieving their goals of being a YouTuber and a police officer.

Aidan struggled a bit with working out what he needed to do but we eventually got there in the end.

We took some time to discuss how the boys could apply these vital ingredients to a plan for success, whenever they were ready to start and implement their success recipe.

Destination – Get there!

The purpose of this exercise was to help the boys discover their clear goals and aims and how they get there was going to help them focus on where they were now.

I asked the boys to raise their hands if they wanted to be successful. Both boys raised their hands.

Everyone wants to be successful at something. I want to be a successful writer, the boys’ dad wants to be a successful photographer, Aron wants to be a successful police officer and Aidan wants to be a successful YouTuber.

I asked the boys to write down one city at the bottom of their list under destination. Aidan wrote London and Aron wrote Dubai. I then told them we’re going to go to those cities right that minute. The boys gasped.

I asked them what their very initial thoughts were.

Aron – “We can’t, we are in lockdown.”

Aidan – “First thought was I wanted to see the Statue of Liberty”

Aron – “Are we actually going to Dubai?”

Aidan – “Are we going now?”

Aron – “When are we coming back?”

Aidan – “How will we get there?”

Aron -“Don’t we have to travel to Asia to get to Dubai?”

Who? When? How? What? Where? Why?

We asked a bunch of questions that used all the main keywords. Who, when, how, what, where and why are keyword questions. When you have all of these six keyword questions you find out enough information to get to where you want to be or what you want to do.

We applied these keyword questions to Aron’s chosen career option which was a police officer.

Aron – “Where do I find the information to be a police officer?”

“Why do I want to become a police officer?”

“How will I be a police officer?”

“When will I get to be a police officer?”

“Where will I work as a police officer?”

“What do I have to do to become a police officer?”

Some other keyword questions Aron could have asked were:

• Why do I want to achieve this?
• When will I start?
• How will I get there?
• What will I need?
• Who can help me?
• Where will I go when I achieve it?

Setting the scene – The Ship Story

I wanted to now set the scene to help the boys understand that sometimes life blows us off course, but having a goal/purpose/direction helps us get back on track after the storm is over.

Me – “You have a small boat. It’s a lovely day, the water is calm and we are going to go sailing in the ocean. How do you feel about sailing the boat in an ocean?”

Aidan – “Scared? Fun?”

Aron – “Terrible.”

Me – “Now imagine that while you are sailing your boat, a storm comes. The waves are massive and the wind is turning you one way then another, knocking you off course. Eventually, the storm dies down, but because you have spun around during the storm, you might now be facing in a completely different direction from the one you originally chose. Do you agree in life that sometimes things are easy? We sail along with little or no effort, but at other times, it feels like we’re in the middle of a storm, being pulled in different directions with little control over our lives?”

Aron – “If you have a compass you can get back to the right path.”

Me – “Sometimes life can be really difficult and sometimes it can be easy. You can use your internal compass, as Aron cleverly pointed out, to get you back to your goal when you’re knocked off the path. Your compass is your focus.”

Aidan – “Why would you get knocked off course?”

Me – “Well sometimes the storm could mean that you are rejected, you don’t get the job you want, someone tells you you’re not good enough. But knowing your goal means you can get back to your original destination. But if you don’t know where you’re going you may continue to sail in the direction that the storm knocked you in but it won’t take you where you need to go, right?”

My goal

I wanted the boys to visualise another picture I was about to describe and to write down their very first thoughts in their Learner Diaries when I was finished.

I asked the boys what they would want someone to say when they stand up and tell everyone about the things they’ve done.

Aidan – “You have a happy life.”

“Are you rich? Do you have a family?”

The boys found this part really difficult. They struggled to visualise themselves as older and I figured it was because they weren’t old enough to put themselves in adult shoes. I persevered, though.

Aidan focused on a healthy and happy life while Aron focused on having a lovely life.

I told them to imagine that this speech was the very first draft of their life. Throughout their lives, they can expand on this speech, edit it, and add to it whenever they want as they get older.

I reminded them that successful people achieve amazing things because they decided what they wanted to do and they aimed for it. They visualised themselves achieving their dreams and they had a strong desire to succeed. They believed they could achieve it and they took action. These were the key vital ingredients to success.

My Study Choice Insights

The boys were asked to review the subjects they had previously underlined, circled or highlighted. I then asked the boys to turn to their “My Career Choice Insights” and review their previously highlighted career options.

I asked them to think about how their chosen subjects and careers could help them achieve their goals and told them to write their answer in their diary.

The boys struggled with this part and wrote subjects down. I told them to think about the bigger picture but by this point, they were done.

easyFuture

The boys had successfully completed all eight lesson plans and now it was time to complete their Learning Improvement Measurement (LIM) profiles one last time. The objective of easyFuture is to show the boys how much they have learned about themselves and encourage them to keep going, even after the lessons have finished.

The results were interesting and a stark contrast to the last LIM they completed.

Aron showed a lot more confidence this time, scoring highly in motivation, knowing what subjects he wanted to study, what jobs/careers suited him, and he had more belief in himself. He has remained confident throughout but still struggled with being happy in himself. I asked him why that was and he said he didn’t know. I made a mental note to work on this, but the results were confusing, especially when he seemed confident and motivated to achieve.

He also scored lower in knowing his strengths and I think this was partly down to being overwhelmed with the selection of strengths he learned he had during his Mindscreen Experience. I told Aron that overall the results were still a vast improvement to when he completed his second LIM and that he should be proud of himself for what he has achieved in the last eight lessons. He said Mindscreen did make him feel happy and that he was looking forward to achieving his goals and ambitions.

Aidan also saw an improvement in certain areas but also wasn’t too happy with who he was. He still didn’t know what subjects to study and what his clear goals were. But he said he felt a lot more confident this time and he now believes that he can succeed. He also said he knew how to prepare his CV.

I asked Aidan why he wasn’t happy with himself and he said he didn’t like his name or his size. He has taken an interest in diet and lifestyle and I wonder whether this has been down to the TV he watches or his peers at school. I made a mental note to work on building his happiness by spending more time with him on the subjects he enjoys and making him feel big and strong wherever and whenever I can. But this is a difficult subject to tackle as Aidan has always been sensitive to the emotions of others and what people say. So if someone has said something about his name or size, it would be difficult to help him forget.

How did we get on with Lesson 8, easyFeedback and easyFuture?

The very last lesson was an eye-opener for all of us. I think the boys finally understood why it was so important to know what they wanted to do in life and why it helps to have clear goals in mind to become successful. When we complete these lessons again in a few years time it will be interesting to compare the results as the boys are still quite young and haven’t thought about adulthood yet.

How long was the lesson supposed to be?

60 – 80 minutes depending on the number of children. Be mindful that engagement is important so the lesson might last longer.

How long it took us

Almost two hours. It’s a long lesson and the boys struggled with the visualisation part of the session. However, when it came to completing their LIM again, they enjoyed going over their results and even found it interesting that it was better than the LIM 2.

What did I want the boys to learn in this lesson?

Success has a recipe and you need all the vital ingredients to make that recipe a success. If the boys had a destination in mind it will help them search for ways to get here. Goals help them stay on course especially during those tough times and no one can set a goal for them.

They must be in charge of their own goals and dreams. I also wanted the boys to know that study and career choices that support their goals now can help them achieve their dreams more quickly.

What did I learn from this lesson?

I learned that my boys have a lot more complex thoughts and feelings than I thought they would have at their age and that it’s my job to handle these thoughts and feelings carefully, without knocking their confidence. I also learned that my boys are very smart and have a good head on their shoulders. So I’m even more proud of them than I was when we started this Mindscreen journey.

What did we learn from the Mindscreen Experience?

We learned so much! The boys learned that there is so much more to life than just being handed things on a plate. They learned that what they do now will affect what happens to them later and I learned that it’s never too early to get them involved in becoming accountable for their future, as long as you don’t overwhelm them with too much information too early.

Overall, I learned that there are so many steps to helping your child build their self-esteem and confidence that it’s a long road to happiness. But as long we are there to help them achieve what they want in life, offer undivided love and support, then there’s no reason why they can’t succeed.

I loved every moment of the Mindscreen experience and learned so much about my boys, as well as how to build confidence in myself too! The Mindscreen Experience is a fantastic way to bond with your kids while learning about how your children can achieve success later in life.

What’s next?

It’s over to you! I highly urge you to take the Mindscreen experience now with your child and sign up as soon as possible, so you can play a huge part in helping your children build their self-esteem and confidence.

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