Normalise breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem feeding

A breastfeeding Mum from Perth, Australia ignores the noise of other’s opinions and tunes in to her inner voice when it comes to breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem feeding with her toddler and newborn.

So many people are quick to judge. Strangers on the street, the medical profession, family, friends, the list goes on. While breastfeeding my three-year-old daughter during pregnancy, advice and opinions were given to me all the time wherever I went. I had to hear that my “milk was poison”, “the baby would be born prematurely”, “it’s NOT normal”, “you need to stop”, “she is using you as a pacifier”, “it’s not good”!

Breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem feeding is my normal

Breastfeeding while pregnant and tandem feeding after birth is my “normal” and my “moo moo time” story.

Guess what I did? I let it go and I didn’t listen. My breastfeeding relationship is my own and I did what felt right for me and my children. I listened to my intuition.

I ignored the ignorant! I will repeat. I ignored the ignorant!

I call bullshit on all the opinions. I did not allow it to get to me and most importantly, I did not allow it to change what I intuitively felt lwas right and natural for my daughter and my body. The first photo was taken one week before I gave birth at 38 weeks pregnant. The second photo was 2 weeks after. I naturally delivered my baby boy with no complications, happy and healthy on an island in the Mediterranean far away from my hometown, Perth, Australia.

How I make tandem nursing a toddler and newborn work

I’m currently still nursing breastfeeding my 3-year-old daughter and my newborn and it’s all ok! Mother’s milk is not poison, the baby was born full-term and healthy and everyone is content and happy. I share our version of “normal” captured in this photo with you hoping stories and images like this make breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding, tandem breastfeeding and breastfeeding during pregnancy normal for all. For the females that get given all this advice, do your own research, listen to your own intuition and body. It is your body and your choice!

The female body and its human milk supply is simply incredible and we need to celebrate, encourage and support one another, not bring each other down.

“Moo Moo time” is what both my children would say when they wanted/want breast milk. It’s a name that my first nursing child came up with and it has stayed in our family ever since. “Moo moo time” was created after I posted a picture of breastfeeding my daughter while 9 months pregnant to a small breastfeeding support group in order to share what “normal” looks like in our house. It created a lot of curiosity, questions, admiration and a fair share of ignorance and backlash. I was criticised for my hair, my bra and told to go put my clothes back on by females and males (I inhaled and exhaled and ignored that part).

I’m here to address it all and be part of normalising breastfeeding worldwide. After 6 consecutive years of breastfeeding my children and now tandem feeding my 3-year-old daughter and newborn with no intention of weaning yet, I have been inspired to create “moo moo time” to raise awareness, share education, experiences, stories, ask for advice on topics of not only breastfeeding but also parenthood, pregnancy, birth and beyond.

Tandem nursing mothers, join me to normalise the most natural act in the world and share your moo moo stories and questions! A study showing family physicians supporting tandem feeding can be found here.

Facebook Page: Moo Moo Time

Instagram: moo_moo_time

FAQ

What is tandem nursing and is it safe?

“WHO and UNICEF recommend that children initiate breastfeeding within the first hour of birth and be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life – meaning no other foods or liquids are provided, including water. Infants should be breastfed on demand – that is as often as the child wants, day and night.”

World Health Organization

Other questions asked were:

• What is tandem breastfeeding?
• What does tandem feeding mean?
• What is tandem feeding?
• What does tandem mean in breastfeeding?
• Reasons for tandem breastfeeding?
• Why tandem nurse?
• Benefits of tandem nursing?
• Benefits of extended breastfeeding?
• Is it good to tandem breastfeed?
• Benefits of tandem breastfeeding?

Tandem nursing refers to breastfeeding two babies different ages, one child tends to be older and the other is younger. This can occur when a mother continues to breastfeed her older children after giving birth.

Breastfeeding tandem is generally considered safe for both the mother and her children, provided the mother is healthy, eating a balanced diet, and staying hydrated to support the increased milk production. You can even try tandem nursing while pregnant as long as you are fit and healthy to do so.

There are several benefits to breastfeeding a toddler and newborn. For the mother, it can help continue the bonding experience with the older child and help to manage the engorgement that often comes with a new milk supply for the new baby. For the older child, it can provide continued access to the nutrition and immune support offered by breastmilk. It can also be a source of comfort and help them adjust to a new sibling.

That said, breastfeeding 2 babies different ages can also be challenging. It can be physically demanding and time-consuming. You may also face criticism or lack of understanding from others, as it’s less commonly practiced in some cultures. It’s crucial if you choose to breastfeeding in tandem you ensure you’re taking good care of your own health and well-being too.

If you want to how to tandem nurse, you should discuss it with a healthcare provider, lactation consultant, or other professional who can provide guidance based on your individual situation and needs.

What are the different types of tandem nursing?

There aren’t necessarily “types” of tandem nursing, but the practice can look different depending on the ages of the children, your comfort, and the preferences of the family. Some examples could include:

1. Breastfeeding second baby with toddler: Nursing a toddler and a newborn is perhaps the most common scenario for tandem feeding. The toddler may only nurse a few times a day, such as before naps or at bedtime, while the newborn will nurse frequently throughout the day and night.
2. Nursing two infants (twins or triplets): This isn’t traditionally what people mean when they say “tandem feeding,” but it technically fits the definition. Here, you might baby tandem nurse at the same time to save time and ensure both babies are feeding regularly.
3. Nursing a newborn and an older child: Some children continue to breastfeed for several years. Here, the older child might nurse less frequently and more for comfort than nutrition, while the newborn’s needs will be more intensive.

Do you have any tips for tandem nursing breastfeeding an infant and toddler?

Other questions asked were:

• How does tandem nursing work?
• Can I breastfeed my 2 year old and newborn?
• What if I decide tandem nursing isn’t for me?

Tandem feeding can be a rewarding but also challenging experience. Here are some tips to help make it a bit easier:

1. Prioritise the youngest baby: The newborn’s nutritional needs should be a priority. If you’re nursing both an older child and a newborn, try to feed the newborn first to ensure they’re getting enough of the nutrient-rich foremilk and fattier hindmilk.
2. Stay hydrated and eat well: Producing breast milk for two or more children can be physically demanding, and you’ll need to take in extra fluids and nutrients to keep up. Make sure you’re eating a balanced diet and drinking plenty of water.
3. Find comfortable positions: Experiment with different breastfeeding positions that allow you to nurse both children if that’s your goal. For example, the “double-cradle” hold, with one child in a traditional cradle hold and the other in a cradle hold facing the opposite direction, might work. A lactation consultant can provide guidance here.
4. Get support: Surround yourself with people who understand and support your decision to tandem feed. A local breastfeeding or parenting support group can be an excellent resource.
5. Establish boundaries: It’s okay to set limits with your older child. You might limit nursing to certain times of day, or certain locations, or you might set a time limit on each nursing session.
6. Prepare your older child: If you’re pregnant and tandem feeding, begin talking to your older child about the new baby and how things will change. Explain that the new baby will also breastfeed, just like they do.
7. Take care of yourself: Beyond your physical health, don’t forget to take care of your emotional well-being. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it, whether that’s with household chores, caring for the kids, or just taking a bit of time for yourself.
8. Be flexible: Your tandem feeding relationship with each child is likely to be different and will continue to evolve as they grow and their needs change. Be prepared to adapt as needed.

And remember, it’s okay if tandem feeding isn’t working for you or your children. The goal is a happy, healthy family, and there are many ways to achieve that. Discuss with your healthcare provider or a lactation consultant if you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed.

What breastfeeding positions work best for tandem nursing?

Other questions asked were:

• Best positions for tandem nursing?
• How do you tandem nurse?
• How does tandem breastfeeding work?
• How to tandem breastfeed?
• How does tandem feeding work?
• How to start tandem feeding?

When it comes to tandem feeding, finding comfortable positions for both you and your children is key. Here are some common tandem nursing positions that can work well:

1. Double cradle hold: This position involves placing each child in a traditional cradle hold, one on each arm, with their heads resting on your forearms and their bodies across your stomach. This can work well if you have two infants or a baby and a toddler. For an older toddler, you might need to have them sit next to you and lean in to feed.
2. Cradle hold and football hold combo: In this position, you would place the younger baby in a cradle hold, while the older child or toddler is positioned in a football hold, tucked under your arm. This can give you more control, particularly if your older child is larger.
3. Double football hold: Both children are positioned like footballs under your arms. This can be a good position for breastfeeding twins and can also work well if you’ve had a C-section, as it puts less pressure on your abdomen.
4. Laid-back or biological nurturing position: In this position, you recline back on a bed or couch, and each child lies on top of you, straddling your stomach or hips. This can be a very comfortable position and is often helpful for encouraging good latch, particularly in newborns.
5. Parallel position: This position can work well if you’re nursing an infant and a toddler. The younger baby is in a cradle or football hold, while the older child lays parallel to you, with their head at your breast and their body extending behind you.

Remember, it may take a bit of trial and error to find positions that work well for you and your children. A lactarian consultant can be a valuable resource in helping you find comfortable positions for tandem feeding.

How to wean a tandem nursing toddler?

Weaning a tandem feeding toddler may be a sensitive issue, especially as the child sees the younger sibling continue to breastfeed. Here are some strategies to make the process smoother:

1. Gradual weaning: Gradually reducing the nursing sessions can be less abrupt and stressful for the toddler. You could start by eliminating one feed at a time, giving your toddler time to adjust to each change.
2. Don’t offer, don’t refuse: This is a gentle approach where you don’t offer to nurse but also don’t refuse if your toddler asks to. Over time, your toddler may naturally lose interest and ask to nurse less often.
3. Distraction and postponement: Try distracting your toddler with other activities when they ask to nurse. Or you can tell them “not now, but later,” and they may forget or move on to something else.
4. Shorten nursing sessions: Gradually reduce the length of each nursing session. You might find it helpful to sing a short song while your toddler is nursing and then end the session when the song is over.
5. Introduce the concept of “Big Kid” activities: Explain to your toddler that there are certain things only big kids get to do, and one of them is moving on from nursing. Highlight the positive aspects of growing up, like being able to eat more different foods, play certain games, etc.
6. Provide alternatives: Offer comforting alternatives to nursing, such as cuddling, reading a book, or giving your toddler a favourite soft toy. Also, make sure that your toddler is getting plenty of nutritious foods and drinks as they nurse less.
7. Be consistent: Once you’ve decided to wean, try to be consistent. It can be confusing for your toddler if you allow them to nurse one day, but not the next.
8. Be patient and understanding: Weaning can be a challenging time for both you and your toddler. Try to be patient and understanding of your toddler’s needs. If your toddler is having a hard time, it’s okay to slow down the process.

Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to weaning, and different strategies will work for different families. If you’re struggling with weaning, it might be helpful to speak with a lactation consultant or your child’s pediatrician for guidance.

How common is tandem nursing?

Tandem feeding isn’t uncommon, but it’s not universally practiced, either. The practice can vary depending on cultural, personal, and medical factors.

In some cultures, extended breastfeeding and tandem feeding are widely accepted and practiced. However, in many Western societies where breastfeeding beyond infancy is less common, tandem feeding may be less frequently seen.

Whether a mother practices tandem feeding can be influenced by a range of factors, such as her comfort level, her health, the advice of healthcare providers, and the needs and ages of her children. For example, if a woman becomes pregnant while still breastfeeding an older child, she might choose to wean the older child due to discomfort or medical advice, or she might decide to continue breastfeeding through her pregnancy and after the birth of the new baby.

While tandem feeding is a personal decision and not necessary for every family, it’s an option that can work well for many. It’s always a good idea for any mother considering tandem feeding to seek advice from a healthcare provider or lactation consultant to make an informed decision based on her individual circumstances.

How do you prepare an older child for tandem nursing?

Preparing an older child for tandem feeding requires careful communication, empathy, and patience. Here are some strategies you can consider:

1. Start before the new baby arrives: Begin talking about the new baby well before their arrival, and include discussions about breastfeeding. Use simple, age-appropriate language to explain that the new baby will need to nurse a lot, just like they did when they were a baby.
2. Read books: There are many children’s books available that talk about new siblings, breastfeeding, and the changes that come with a growing family. These can help your older child understand what’s going to happen in a fun and engaging way.
3. Show and tell: If you have friends or family members who are breastfeeding, it might be helpful to let your older child see this happening. You could also use dolls or stuffed animals to show your child how you’ll be nursing the new baby.
4. Involve your child: Let your older child be part of preparations for the new baby. This could include helping to set up the nursery, choosing baby clothes, or picking out a special gift for the new baby.
5. Reassure your child: Reassure your older child that they are still important and loved. Discuss how they will always be your “first baby” and have a special place in your heart.
6. Set expectations: If you plan to continue nursing your older child, explain how this will work. You might tell them that the new baby will need to nurse first, or that there will be certain times when they can nurse and other times when they’ll need to wait.
7. Practice patience: If your older child is still nursing, there may be times when both your children want to nurse at the same time. You can practice telling your older child to wait their turn, and praising them for their patience.
8. Provide alternatives: If you plan to wean your older child from breastfeeding, start introducing alternatives to breastfeeding for comfort and nutrition.

Remember, every child is unique and will react differently to the news of a new sibling and the changes that come with tandem feeding. It’s important to be patient and understanding during this transition.

Are there any side effects of breastfeeding while pregnant?

Other questions asked were:

• Safety concerns of breastfeeding while pregnant?
• What are the cons of tandem nursing?
• Is tandem feeding bad?
• Is tandem feeding safe?
• Ias tandem breastfeeding safe?
• Is tandem nursing safe?
• Is tandem nursing healthy?
• Potential drawbacks to tandem nursing?
• Should I tandem breastfeed?
• What are the challenges of tandem nursing?
• Is tandem nursing hard?

La Leche International says:

“You can breastfeed while pregnant; some mothers go on to nurse both their new baby and their older child after the birth. This is known as ‘tandem nursing’. Family, friends and healthcare professionals may express concern if you are breastfeeding while pregnant.”

La Leche League

Breastfeeding while pregnant is generally safe for most people, but it can come with some discomforts or potential side effects. These can include:

1. Nipple tenderness: Hormonal changes during pregnancy can cause nipple tenderness or sensitivity, which may be amplified by breastfeeding.
2. Fatigue: Pregnancy itself can be tiring, and the added demands of breastfeeding can contribute to feelings of fatigue.
3. Nutritional demands: Both pregnancy and breastfeeding increase your body’s demand for certain nutrients. Therefore, it’s important to maintain a well-balanced diet to support your own health and the growth of your unborn baby, as well as milk production for your nursing child.
4. Uterine contractions: Breastfeeding can cause the release of the hormone oxytocin, which can lead to uterine contractions. These are generally mild and not a concern, but for those with a history of preterm labour or certain other pregnancy complications, there may be a potential risk.
5. Decrease in milk supply: Hormonal changes during pregnancy may lead to a decrease in milk supply. Additionally, the composition of breast milk changes towards the end of pregnancy, preparing for the newborn’s needs. These changes may lead your older child to wean naturally.
6. Emotional considerations: Some pregnant people may find that they experience feelings of irritability or aversion during breastfeeding. This phenomenon, known as nursing aversion and agitation (NAA), can be a natural reaction to the hormonal shifts of pregnancy.

If you’re pregnant and considering continuing to breastfeed, it’s important to discuss it with your healthcare provider. They can guide you based on your personal health status, your pregnancy, and any potential risks or concerns.

Does tandem nursing burn more calories?

Yes, tandem feeding typically burns more calories. Breastfeeding in general is a calorie-intensive process, as your body needs extra energy to produce milk.

On average, it’s often said that breastfeeding can burn around 500 extra calories per day for one baby. However, this can vary depending on factors like the frequency and duration of feedings, the age of the child (as older children who nurse less frequently will require less milk), and individual metabolic factors.

When you are tandem feeding, you’re producing milk for two children, so it’s reasonable to expect that the caloric demands would be higher than nursing a single child.

But while tandem feeding may increase calorie burn, it’s crucial for mothers to remember that they need to replenish those calories with nutritious food to maintain their energy and health. Always ensure you’re eating a balanced, nutrient-dense diet and drinking plenty of water. If you have any concerns about your diet or energy levels while tandem feeding, it’s a good idea to consult with a healthcare provider or a dietitian.

How long have women been tandem nursing?

Tandem feeding, or the practice of breastfeeding two children of different ages is likely as old as humanity itself. It’s difficult to determine exactly when this practice started, but it’s safe to say that women have been tandem feeding for thousands of years.

In prehistoric times and throughout much of human history, birth control options were limited or nonexistent, and it was common for women to have many children in relatively quick succession. Extended breastfeeding was also common, as there were no alternatives like modern formula. Therefore, situations where a woman was breastfeeding a toddler or older child and then had a new baby to breastfeed were likely quite common, leading to the necessity of tandem feeding.

Even today, tandem feeding is practiced in many cultures around the world, especially in societies where extended breastfeeding is the norm. While it may be less common in societies where breastfeeding beyond infancy is less typical, it’s still a choice that many families make based on their individual needs and preferences.

So while we can’t pinpoint a specific time or place where tandem feeding began, it’s a practice rooted deeply in human history and biology.

Can I continue tandem feeding when one is sick?

Generally, yes, you can continue tandem feeding even when one child is sick. In fact, continuing to breastfeed can be beneficial as breast milk provides important antibodies and immune factors that can help your child fight off illness. It’s also a source of comfort and hydration, especially important when a child is not feeling well.

It’s important to note, however, that good hygiene practices should be observed to avoid transmitting the illness between siblings. Frequent hand washing and trying to keep the children from coughing or sneezing on each other can help.

Keep in mind, if your sick child has a contagious illness that’s passed through close contact, such as the flu or COVID-19, the healthy child may already have been exposed by the time symptoms appear. You should follow your healthcare provider’s guidance for managing the illness and reducing the risk of transmission.

If you or your sick child has a specific condition that you’re worried about or if the child is seriously ill, always consult with a healthcare provider. They can provide guidance based on the specific situation and circumstances.