11 examples of how to build emotional strengths of a child 

I’m a huge advocate of placing children’s mental health on the same level playing field as physical health and as a mum of four very different children with varying levels of mental health needs, emotional intelligence is something I strive for everyday. 

We all want our children to grow into confident, resilient, and emotionally aware individuals, but how exactly do we nurture these emotional strengths? It can feel overwhelming, especially when we’re trying to nurture our emotional strength too, but after ‘winging it’ for 14 years with a preschooler, primary school child, teen and tween I’ve come up with 11 practical examples of how to build emotional strengths of a child. Whether you’re navigating toddler tantrums or helping an older child with tricky social situations, let’s dive in on what you can do to ensure your child’s emotional strength doesn’t falter throughout and that they have the tools they need to thrive and achieve future success.

Emotional strengths of a child

You may have heard the term emotional intelligence, and as a parent, it’s a skill you definitely want to foster in your child. Emotional strengths, like resilience, empathy, and self-control, allow your child to handle life’s challenges, connect with others, and eventually grow into a well-balanced adult. These strengths also help shape how a child understands their feelings and the emotions of others. For many children, building emotional awareness starts early through hands-on activities and daily life experiences.

Why is it important to know a child’s strengths?

Understanding your child’s emotional strengths is key because it shapes how they respond to difficult situations and bounce back from setbacks. Emotional intelligence is more than just understanding emotions; it’s about learning to manage them healthily, a vital skill that leads to long-term success in life—emotionally, socially, and even academically. 

Emotional strengths also go hand in hand with developing personal strengths, such as communication skills, cognitive strengths, and soft skills, which are critical in both daily life and school environments.

What are examples of the emotional strengths of a child?

So, when we say emotional strengths, what do we mean? Here are some of the key traits to look out for and encourage in your child:

1. Having a cheerful outlook

Having a cheerful outlook means your child can navigate challenges with a positive growth mindset. This type of mindset encourages them to view obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as setbacks. 

When your child is cheerful, they can approach difficulties with optimism, believing they can overcome them through effort and perseverance. So, encouraging open discussions about their feelings and creating a safe space for them to express themselves will help build on this cheerful attitude. 

Positivity is closely tied to a good sense of humour, which not only lightens the mood but also enhances social interactions. Children with a cheerful outlook and humour are more likely to attract friends, making it easier for them to form strong, positive relationships and become a good friend to others.

2. Showing courage

Courage is an important emotional strength that comes into play when your child faces new or difficult situations, whether it’s starting school, learning new things, or meeting new friends. Courage allows them to step out of their comfort zone and tackle challenges head-on, even when they feel uncertain or afraid. 

Encouraging your child to display courage by celebrating small wins is key—these small achievements build their confidence and reinforce their ability to face fears. Support them through these challenges, so they can develop good common sense and improve their decision-making skills. Over time, facing fears and taking calculated risks will help your child grow into a more resilient and confident individual.

3. Having determination

Determination is the inner drive that pushes your child to keep trying, even when things get tough. When your child faces obstacles, determination teaches them that failure is not the end, but a chance to try again and learn. One way to build determination is by setting age-appropriate challenges they can work towards independently. As they learn to tackle tasks on their own, it also strengthens their good organisational skills and ability to complete tasks. 

With determination comes a growth mindset, which allows your child to view challenges as opportunities to grow. This mindset will also help them manage any negative emotions effectively, as they learn that persistence and effort lead to success.

4. Showing empathy

Empathy is one of the most crucial emotional strengths your child can develop, as it helps them connect with and understand other people’s feelings. When your child can relate to others’ emotions, it strengthens their ability to form meaningful relationships and develop good character. Try to discuss social situations and emotions with your child, for example, ask them how they think someone else might feel in a specific situation or guide them through reflecting on how they’ve felt in similar circumstances. Building empathy also enhances their interpersonal skills, which helps them navigate friendships, resolve conflicts, and understand the diverse emotions of those around them.

5. Practising patience

Patience is a key emotional strength because it helps your child manage frustration and stay calm when things don’t go as expected. It’s a skill that’s often tested daily, from waiting their turn in a game to handling disappointments at school. 

Teaching patience through mindful activities like deep breathing or setting up small scenarios where they must wait helps your child to learn self-control and this ability to wait without becoming frustrated plays a significant role in their overall emotional regulation. Patience also contributes to the development of soft skills—the personal attributes that help your child interact with others—by helping them manage their specific emotions in challenging situations, making them better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs.

6. Showing resilience

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties and continue moving forward, and it’s a skill that can significantly impact your child’s emotional and cognitive development. When your child is resilient, they learn to view setbacks as temporary and see failures as opportunities to improve. 

Whether it’s handling a difficult day at school or bouncing back from disappointment, resilience is critical for emotional growth. It also helps your child build emotional awareness by encouraging them to reflect on what went wrong and how they can cope better next time. 

7. Keeping calm

Teaching your child to stay calm during stressful situations is vital for helping them regulate their emotions. When your child is calm, they’re better able to think clearly and respond to challenges without becoming overwhelmed. 

Use calming strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, or taking a moment to pause so they can manage their stress and deal with overwhelming feelings. This way, your child can approach difficult situations with a balanced mindset and a healthy way of processing negative emotions, which is especially important as they grow, as it allows them to maintain emotional stability throughout their lives.

Calming strategies for the classroom

Sometimes, children need help managing their emotions in school environments. Teachers can use techniques such as feelings list for kids, deep breathing, quiet corners, or mindfulness exercises to help your child stay grounded. These strategies—including going through facial expressions with them and discussing what they mean—can make a big difference in your child’s emotional regulation.

Incorporating study skills and hands-on activities like playing musical instruments or physical exercises can also help your child express themselves and deal with different strengths and challenges they may face in the classroom.

8. Being friendly

Encouraging friendliness in your child is a great way to help them build strong, lasting social relationships. When your child is friendly, they naturally attract others, making it easier for them to form positive connections. 

Friendliness also fosters cooperation and kindness, which are key in both play and school environments. Whether your child is sharing toys on the playground or working on a group project at school, these qualities make a big difference. Social strengths like being a good storyteller or showing good manners go hand-in-hand with friendliness, and they help your child engage with their peers on a deeper level. These traits aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re essential social-emotional skills that set the foundation for healthy interactions throughout life.

9. Being flexible

Flexibility is one of those skills that makes all the difference when life throws curveballs—something your child will encounter frequently. Teaching your child to be flexible allows them to adapt to change and handle unexpected situations with ease, whether it’s adjusting to a new school year, shifting family routines, or even something as simple as a change in plans. 

Flexibility also strengthens their cognitive skills by encouraging them to think outside the box and approach problems from different angles. When your child learns to be flexible, they understand there are often various ways to deal with challenges. This ability to cope with transitions and unexpected events is a vital life skill that builds resilience and prepares them to handle whatever comes their way.

10. Being Independent

Developing independence is such an important emotional strength for kids, and it will benefit them in so many aspects of life. Allow your child to make decisions and complete small tasks independently, so they can build confidence in their abilities. 

Independence is closely linked to understanding one’s own strengths, and it fosters a sense of positive psychology—an optimistic outlook where one feels capable of taking on new challenges. This doesn’t just boost their emotional growth, but it also enhances their physical strengths and problem-solving skills. When your child engages in independent activities like organising their own room or helping with household chores, they learn to rely on themselves, contributing to their overall wellbeing and sense of achievement.

11. Being confident

Confidence is one of the most powerful tools your child can have. It allows them to face new challenges with a positive attitude and belief in their own abilities. When your child feels supported and encouraged, their confidence naturally grows, making them more likely to take on new experiences. 

Whether it’s learning a musical instrument or improving their maths skills, confidence helps them persist through challenges and stay motivated. When they’re confident in their student’s strengths, it positively impacts both their academic and social success. Confidence gives them the courage to try new things, overcome setbacks, and engage more fully in school and social life, laying the groundwork for long-term success.

Emotional strengths of a child with autism

Children with autism can also develop emotional strengths, although they may need additional support. Tools like visual support, structured communication, and ABA therapy can help children with autism understand and manage their emotions effectively. Focus on their specific strengths and create a supportive environment, so they can thrive emotionally and socially.

Benefits of helping of a child develop emotional strengths

Helping your child build emotional strengths doesn’t just benefit their childhood—it sets them up for success in life. From better academic performance to healthier social interactions, emotional strengths are the foundation for a well-rounded individual. These strengths also contribute to building high self-esteem and a sense of balance in life, helping them achieve their full potential.

How to build upon these emotional strengths in the classroom?

Teachers play a huge role in nurturing a child’s emotional strengths. Creating a supportive and collaborative classroom environment encourages emotional learning and incorporating learning-based programs and focusing on communication skills, problem-solving, and positive reinforcement helps build good role models in class. Teachers can also help students manage their emotions by providing structured opportunities for empathy and cooperation.

How can you build upon the emotional strengths of a child at home?

At home, you can build emotional strength by providing a nurturing environment where your child feels safe to express their emotions. Open conversations, modelling good behaviour, and establishing routines all play a part in supporting emotional growth. Encouraging your child to explore their personal strengths, such as creativity or physical skills, and exposing them to activities like video games, sports, and card games can enhance their emotional and physical abilities.

Seeing emotions in others

Just as important as being able to recognise one’s own emotions is being able to read the emotions that other people are having. This is vital as a part of emotional intelligence, and actually it turns out that this kind of empathy is one of the most important skills that your child can develop on the whole. 

As such, it is never too early to start helping them see and interpret the emotions in other people’s faces. This can be as simple as going through facial expressions with them and discussing what they mean. You might find that your child can take to this quite naturally, or that they need a little help. It doesn’t matter – what matters is that you are helping them move in the right direction, and you are encouraging them to do this as well as you can. Being able to see the emotions in others is a hugely important and valuable skill and one that will do very well for them throughout their entire life.

Talking about reactions

Once your child has started to develop strong emotional intelligence, you can then start talking about the reactions you have noticed them having in the past. This is a great way to help them reflect on their behaviour and understand why they react in the way they do. Knowledge is power, but so is patience, which brings me to my final point.

Give it time

Remember, your child is at the very beginning of their emotional journey and they may not always be able to express how they feel, simply because they don’t know what they are feeling. All of this can take time, and it’s an education like anything else. Feelings don’t lie, so never gaslight your child, but be patient and explain that feelings are normal and it’s ok to let them out, as long as they are not hurting themselves or others.

If your child lashes out when they are angry (like my third), then use the time when they have calmed down to reflect on why the way they reacted may not have been the best way to deal with the situation. Come up with easy ways to remind them to use their words and not their hands. We talk about squeezing hands when they’re angry or letting it out with a massive sigh or even a yell. 

You will eventually learn how your child works and so you should embrace who they are and build on their strengths and weaknesses. Emotional strength is the foundation of success, so make it an easy process for both of you by showcasing one of yours – patience. 

FAQ 

1. How can parents best support their children’s social and emotional development alongside academic achievement?

Parents can support both social and emotional development by creating a balanced environment where your child feels safe to express their emotions and have the tools to excel academically. Encourage open communication, promote empathy, and model positive behaviour at home while also reinforcing a structured learning routine. Schools should work in tandem with parents by incorporating social-emotional learning (SEL) alongside academic subjects.

2. How do positive emotions impact a child’s academic success, and what strategies can parents and educators employ to cultivate these emotions?

Positive emotions, such as happiness and confidence, improve focus, memory retention, and problem-solving skills, all of which are crucial for academic success. Parents and educators can cultivate these emotions by fostering a supportive environment, using positive reinforcement, celebrating small wins, and encouraging self-expression through arts, play, and storytelling.

3. How to encourage your child’s emotional strengths?

You can encourage your child’s emotional strengths by modelling healthy emotional expression, teaching empathy through role-playing, practising patience, and providing opportunities for them to handle challenges independently.

4. How do you know that your child is well emotionally?

Signs that your child is emotionally well include the ability to express emotions appropriately, recover quickly from setbacks, maintain healthy relationships, and exhibit a positive outlook on life. If they’re open to discussing their feelings and generally handle stress well, this indicates emotional well-being.

5. How to foster your child’s emotional intelligence pillars?

The pillars of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, social skills, and motivation—can be fostered through regular emotional check-ins, teaching problem-solving, promoting empathy, and encouraging healthy communication.

Behavioural and emotional strengths in children

6. What are behavioural and emotional strengths in children?

Behavioural strengths include patience, flexibility, and responsibility, while emotional strengths refer to resilience, empathy, and self-control. These qualities help your child manage their emotions and interact positively with others.

7. What are some emotional strengths of a child?

Some common emotional strengths include empathy, resilience, optimism, patience, and self-regulation. These traits help your child navigate social situations and cope with challenges.

8. What are social-emotional behavioural strengths?

Social-emotional behavioural strengths include the ability to form positive relationships, show empathy, communicate effectively, manage emotions, and work well in groups. These strengths help your child succeed both socially and academically.

9. What are the behavioural and emotional strengths of your child?

Each child has unique strengths, but common ones include independence, determination, emotional regulation, and problem-solving abilities. These traits allow them to handle difficult situations with resilience and grace.

Emotional strengths of special needs and autistic children

10. What are the behavioural and emotional strengths of a child with autism?

Children with autism may have strong problem-solving skills, a heightened focus on specific interests, and the ability to empathise deeply in certain situations. Visual support and structured environments can help further develop these emotional strengths.

11. What are the strengths and weaknesses of having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as a child?

Children with ADHD often excel in creativity, enthusiasm, and out-of-the-box thinking. However, they may struggle with focus, impulse control, and emotional regulation. At home and school, they benefit from structured routines, positive reinforcement, and extra support for managing attention challenges.

Identifying and encouraging child strengths

12. How do you identify your child’s strengths?

You can identify your child’s strengths by observing their behaviour in various settings, noting where they show confidence, passion, or resilience. Seek input from teachers, coaches, and other caregivers to gain a broader perspective.

13. How can you build upon these strengths?

Once you’ve identified your child’s strengths, reinforce them by providing opportunities to practise these skills. Offer praise for their efforts and create a nurturing environment that fosters further development of these strengths.

14. What are your child’s strengths?

Your child’s strengths could include personal traits like kindness, empathy, leadership, problem-solving, or independence. These are often highlighted in how they approach challenges and interact with others.

15. What are the emotional strengths of a child with special needs?

Children with special needs may have unique emotional strengths, such as the ability to focus deeply on a task or show intense dedication to a personal interest. Emotional regulation and empathy may be enhanced through tailored support and consistent routines.

Strength-based parenting and child development

16. What is strength-based parenting?

Strength-based parenting focuses on identifying and nurturing a child’s inherent strengths rather than correcting weaknesses. It encourages parents to foster positive traits such as resilience, creativity, and empathy to help their children thrive emotionally and socially.

17. What is the strength switch?

The “strength switch” is a concept in strength-based parenting that encourages parents to flip their focus from a child’s weaknesses to their strengths. By highlighting and praising strengths, parents can build a child’s confidence and emotional resilience.

18. How can children’s strengths be learned?

While some strengths may come naturally, others can be learned and developed through practice, such as empathy, patience, and perseverance. Your child can build these strengths with guidance, encouragement, and real-world experiences.

Developing specific emotional strengths and skills

19. How can leadership skills be developed in children?

You can help develop leadership skills in your child by encouraging teamwork, problem-solving, and responsibility. Provide opportunities for them to lead small group activities or make decisions at home.

20. What are the three pillars of emotional intelligence?

The three pillars of emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy. Teaching your child to identify their own emotions, regulate their reactions, and understand the feelings of others builds a strong foundation for emotional intelligence.

21. How can parents support interpersonal skills in children?

Parents can support interpersonal skills by encouraging open communication, practising empathy, and promoting healthy social interactions. Role-playing social situations and discussing non-verbal cues can also be helpful.

Cultural and social expectations in strength development

22. What are the strengths of a child from different cultural expectations?

Different cultures may emphasise various strengths in children. For example, some cultures prioritise independence and problem-solving, while others may value cooperation and respect for authority. It’s essential to recognise and support your child’s strengths within the context of their cultural background.

23. What are the social strengths of a child?

Social strengths in your child include being a good listener, forming strong friendships, and demonstrating cooperation. These qualities are vital for building positive relationships with peers, family members, and teachers.

Helping children with emotional and behavioural support

24. How to get emotional or behavioural support for your child?

If you believe your child needs emotional or behavioural support, start by talking to their teacher, school counsellor, or paediatrician. You can also seek professional help from a therapist specialising in child development or behaviour management.

*Collaborative feature post*